I wrote this before Christmas, but I forgot to upload. Lol my bad.
"You want to come over for Smash Bros?" Eren asked, grinning at Mikasa.
"So you can be Titan, again?" Armin rolled his eyes. "And you'll never win against Mikasa. Just except it."
"Actually," Mikasa said, searching for her keys. "I can't."
The boys' faces fell. "Again?" Eren complained. "Where have you been the last few weeks? It's like we never see you anymore."
Mikasa shrugged. "I've just been…busy. With school."
Eren frowned. "You've always been a straight-A student who still had time for her friends. What's really going on?"
Mikasa looked at Armin for help.
The blond sighed. "Mikasa is busy with extracurriculars."
"What?" Eren asked, feeling excluded. "Did you join another club?"
"Eren…" she said nervously, "I…I…have a boyfriend."
He'd just stared at her, for too long, unable to respond.
Unable to process.
"You have to be civil, alright?" Armin said.
"I can do that."
"Then don't cross your arms, and please, fix your face."
Eren sighed, trying to release the venom in his expression. He peeked out the window and saw a blue Prius pull up to the curb.
Mikasa and her boyfriend.
"Who drives a Prius? What a pussy."
"Eren!"
"Sorry, sorry."
He stepped back, trying to ignore how utterly pissed he was, and he allowed Armin to open the door.
Mikasa stood there, fumbling with her scarf. Then her boyfriend—oh, Eren would get to him later—chuckled and wrapped it around her properly, making her blush and smile.
Ugh.
"Hey, guys," Mikasa said brightly, stepping inside. "This is Jean."
Eren tried not to glare, he really did.
But it was so damn hard.
Because honestly, this guy? He had short, shit-colored hair, and he was too tall, and well, the nicest way he could put it, he had a horse face. Mikasa had never shown interest in anyone, all through high school, their first year of college, and now this?
A horse?
When Armin realized Eren wasn't going to be mature about this, he broke the silence by greeting Jean and shaking his hand, frowning at Eren to do the same.
Eren may have gripped a little too hard, but Jean didn't seem to notice, or care.
"You've got a nice place," Jean said, taking Mikasa's coat and hanging it by the door.
"It's actually pretty shitty," Eren muttered, but fell silent when Mikasa shot him a look.
Behave.
He raised an eyebrow. Are you serious? Do you see what I'm seeing?
She glowered, and he exhaled loudly.
"Smells awesome, by the way." Jean sniffed, and Eren rolled his eyes as he led them into the apartment's kitchen. This guy….
"Armin, did you bake?" Mikasa marveled.
The blond blushed. "I mean, yeah. It's probably not very good, but I didn't want to order takeout. We have enough Panda Express to-go boxes to build our own Chinese restaurant."
"Jean likes to cook too," Mikasa said, elbowing her partner.
Jean shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I do it as a hobby. I set the oven on fire once, so I mean, my roommate Marco isn't a huge fan."
The three of them laughed while Eren brooded, his head in the fridge to hide his scowl.
He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.
"Jean and his friends are hosting a Christmas Eve party this year, if you guys want to come!" Mikasa announced.
Armin opened his mouth, but Eren beat him to it. "Don't we usually have our own Christmas party?"
They did and she knew it. It was their tradition, ever since Eren's mom died.
"Well...I thought since we moved out this year we could start a new tradition...but I mean we could always do both."
Eren shrugged. He wouldn't put up with that asshole on Christmas Eve. "I'll pass."
Mikasa frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she demanded. "You don't like Jean?"
He shrugged again, which was probably not the smartest move on his part.
She was suddenly angry. Super angry. It didn't show in her actions, or her words, but in her eyes. Hard marbles of pissiness.
"Eren…."she said calmly, "Why can't you at least pretend to be happy for me? I've always been nice towards your girlfriends!"
"I'm just being honest, Mikasa. He's not your type."
Armin face-palmed.
Mikasa stared. "How would you know?"
Ohhhh, bad idea. Very bad. He backpedaled. "I…okay, I don't. But you could do better."
"Really, who? Who's a better pick, Eren. You?"
He winced. That hurt more than it should have. "I just don't understand how you could like him. He's so different from us. And I'm not blind. It's clear you aren't even that interested!"
"Eren…" Armin warned.
"I'm leaving," Mikasa muttered, grabbing her coat and her purse.
"Fine."
"Grow up while I'm gone."
"I'll grow up when you face the truth."
She stalked past him, out the door.
"Bye Armin," she said, then sent a hateful glower in Eren's direction.
"Bye, Mikasa."
Mikasa slammed her car door and drove away, and Eren felt exhausted, horrible, and cold.
It didn't help that Armin was looking at him with a mixture of pity and dismay.
"You messed up," Armin said.
"I know."
"No you don't. You fought with her and drove her right into his arms. You were supposed to be supportive."
"Kay, Armin, I get it."
Armin shook his head and switched off the television, ignoring Eren's shout of indignation. "See, but you don't. You're hating life and taking it out on me. So go talk to her."
"If she wants to talk she can come to me."
"She's always come to you! That's why she finally gave up."
Eren stilled, finally turning away from the black screen to look at his friend. "What are you talking about?"
Armin sighed, sitting on the coffee table across from him. He leaned over, placing his elbows on his knees and looking at Eren over linked fingers. "You want to know the reason Mikasa never dated anyone? It's because she loved someone else, someone she couldn't have."
Eren didn't like where this was headed.
"He was stubborn and ignorant and I don't understand for the life of me why she was in love with him. But she was, for ten years."
"Armin…"
"I'll put it in easier terms, alright? When Person A realized that she was wasting her life on her best friend, she thought she'd look for love elsewhere. And when she found someone that wasn't half bad, she introduced him to Person B, the person she most admired. Person B, that idiot, rejected both of them, and now Person A only had this new guy to turn to. Now she's in love with the wrong person and it's all person B's fault."
Eren's head was ringing. It was a loud, high pitch scream.
"I…are you saying Mikasa…"
"Loved you? Yes. And by the way you acted so insufferably, I'd say you love her back."
Eren stared.
He'd always known he loved Mikasa. But he'd assumed it was like…sisterly. Friendly. He never saw her in a romantic light. But he couldn't deny how jealous he'd been this whole time. He couldn't deny that it wasn't just the time he missed hanging out with her. It was the fact that he wanted to be in Jean's shoes.
"Oh shit."
Armin smiled, exasperated. "Finally. It took you ages to realize something so obvious."
Eren ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Shut the hell up, Armin! What am I supposed to do?"
Armin rolled his eyes. "I do not get paid enough for this."
"You don't get paid at all!"
This was the first Christmas Eve she hadn't spent with him in almost a decade. After her parents had died, she'd started dragging Levi to Dr. Jaeger's for the annual holiday. It was tradition. Eren would always plan a ridiculous party with all their friends, and everyone was together. Everyone…was happy.
This year, Jean had asked her to come to his place, and how could she say no? He wanted her in his life, unlike someone.
She sipped the wine and smiled as Marco recounted all Jean's cooking catastrophes. Music blared from the living room, where Connie and Sasha were challenging Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner to CharDee MacDennis. Krista was helping Jean cook in the kitchen, accompanied by a flirty and hungry Ymir.
She loved this new…family.
But something essential was missing. Someone.
"Knock, knock!" Armin called from the doorway, holding several presents.
Mikasa brightened and hurried to help him out.
"You came!" she smiled, setting the gifts down by the Christmas tree made of beer cans.
"It's not Christmas without you," Armin said seriously, and she hugged him tightly.
"He's not coming…is he?" she whispered in his ear.
He shook his head, and her stomach dropped, even though she had suspected. "I tried to convince him to come, but he refused. You know him."
She did. All too well.
The party went on, though she felt a little out of it, a little spacey.
Her thoughts returned to that asshole, as always, and she had to force herself not to get worked up.
She was here for Jean. She could pull off a smile for a few hours.
Right?
"Hey, Mikasa?" Armin said, as stacked the dishes in the sink.
"Yeah?"
"I…totally forgot one of your presents in the car. Would you mind…?" he looked down at the stack of plates he'd volunteered to wash, and she laughed.
"No problem. I'll be right back."
She snatched his keys off the counter and ran down the apartment's stairs, careful not to slip on the ice.
She was on her way to the car when she froze.
Sitting there on the curb, in a very expensive suit, sat a familiar pair of shoulders, and an unforgettable nape of a neck.
"Eren?" she breathed.
He turned, eyes wide.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked, stepping around him to look at his face.
"I…don't know…" he confessed. He had snow on his hair and his jacket, like he'd been sitting there for some time.
She looked at the car, then back at him, and she rolled her eyes and sat next to him.
He sighed, glancing at her with such sadness, she felt something in her disintegrate.
"I came with Armin…and I was going to come up. But then I started thinking…"
"Oh no," she sympathized, knowing what he was capable of when he thought too hard about something.
"Yeah, I know. I started thinking about what you'd said. That I should support you. That I should be civil. And then I realized that going through with this would just ruin everything. I'd be taking away your Christmas, and you're finally happy, and how could I be the one who took that happiness away? How selfish could I get? So it was better to just let it be and…"
She put her hand on his to stop him, but she started at how cold they were.
"Eren…have you been sitting out here all this time?" she asked, bewildered.
He laughed mirthlessly. "I got out and then I couldn't decide what to do."
"So instead of sitting in the car you thought you'd freeze to death?"
He shook his head, smiling, and he looked at her with upturned eyes. "I'm sorry. For everything."
She felt her eyes swell with tears, and she shrugged. "Me too. Now will you please come inside?"
He released her hand. "I can't…that's what I was trying to say…"
"But—"
"If I tell you what I came to tell you," he whispered, "it will either ruin your night or…ruin your night. So I mean there's really no positive side to this." He stood, shaking off the snow. "I'm still glad I got to see you, though. Christmas just isn't the same without you."
She was so confused. She stood, frowning. "Eren…what did you want to tell me?"
"Merry Christmas."
"Don't lie!" she demanded, crossing her arms.
Eren sighed. He looked up at the universe for help, then back at her, and she could have sworn he looked frightened.
"Fine," he said, and he stepped closer. "Look…I hate Jean."
She opened her mouth, but he put his finger to her lips, shaking his head.
"I hate him because he took you away from me. He took my best friend. My partner."
She stared at him, unbelieving.
"He stole the most beautiful person I had ever met. And then I realized he didn't steal her. I pushed her away."
"Eren," she got out. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. The words were pain and acid and everything she'd been yearning to hear for years.
"I was so blind," he continued, his voice catching. "I never got it. And you never said anything. How was I supposed to figure it out? I'm an idiot, remember?" he chuckled, his eyes wet too now. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I realized I loved you a few weeks too late. And I know you're with Jean, and I didn't want to ruin that, and I'm so fucking lost I don't know what to do or where to go."
Her eyes widened, and she felt like she might fall over.
"Mikasa? Say something…"
She turned around so he couldn't see her hyperventilate.
Eren loved her. Eren loved her. Eren….
She made a sound that startled both of them.
Then her shoulders shook, and she covered her mouth.
"Are you…laughing?" he asked incredulously.
She turned back to him, unable to stifle it. Her laughter was loud and clear and cut through the cold silence like sunlight.
He looked hurt and offended, and she reached out to grab his face so he wouldn't feel so dejected.
"Eren…you idiot…" she said against the bittersweet tears. After all this time...
"I am an idiot, because it looks like you're having a mental breakdown, and it's kind of scaring me."
She closed her eyes, smiling, and she brought her lips to his. It didn't take long for Eren to respond, and he brought his arms around her, lifting her on her toes, then spinning her around. His lips were cold and chapped, but loving, overjoyed, eager and stubborn, like him. Her eyes fluttered, and her mouth ached from kissing and smiling and laughing, but she didn't care. It was too right.
Too perfect.
She broke away, staring at his chest, then up at his flushed face.
"I have to tell Jean," she said suddenly.
Eren grimaced. "Right now? Won't that kill his Christmas?"
"I really want to kiss you again, but I can't until I set things right between us," she explained, and Eren smiled.
"Was I that good of a kisser?"
"No, you need some practice," she admitted, and his face fell. She poked him in the chest jokingly. "But I got you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."