Big thanks to ARTs Ninja Pal and cathrineoriginal for following/favouriting.

Firefoxxe – The emotions are just going to keep on coming I'm afraid.

Mikabronxgirl – Again more tears to come.

Celebrisilweth – He will…eventually.

EdhelwenOnieta – I've done that. I was with my friends reading a fic (again of my fave princes!) and just burst into tears! So yeah sorry about that.

I Want To Tell You

"Kili? Can I come in?"

Kili looked over to see Thorin standing in the doorway. He gave a small shrug and Thorin nodded as he entered. Kili bit his lip. He knew Thorin would want to talk to him. But he didn't want to hear it. He just wanted to be left alone. He didn't look up as Thorin pulled a chair over to his bed before sitting down on it and taking Kili's hand.

"I owe you an apology. Lots of them in fact." Thorin sighed. Kili blinked at this. Thorin never apologised to anyone. Why would he apologise to Kili?

"I never realised how my words, my actions made you feel. I never realised how useless I made you feel."

"Uncle…"

"Kili please? Let me finish?"

Kili nodded and Thorin rubbed his hands, "The night you were born was one of the worst nights of my life. I thought I would lose my sister. And then, when it was clear she would live I thought she would never have a chance to see her new-born son. You were so small, so weak. I felt so helpless, as Fili held you in a vain hope you would wake up. And when you started crying..? I've never been happier in my life. I knew from then on that you were a fighter."

Thorin sighed, "I love you Kili. And I haven't shown that to you. For that I am eternally sorry. I never realised that I was making you feel this way. I just assumed you would talk to me if anything was wrong. I didn't realise how scary I could be."

Kili sighed, "Uncle just stop it. I know why you're doing this."

Thorin frowned and Kili forced himself to look him in the eye.

"I almost died. And now you choose to tell me that you love me! Are you trying to trick me? Make me feel better so I won't shame the family again."

"Never!" Thorin growled, "Kili I…you have never brought shame on this family! You are loved, and wanted by us all. When you first used a bow I was proud of you. I know I never showed it but I truly was. Because it made you happy. And that's honestly all I ever wanted for you Kili. I just wanted you to be happy. I didn't care how that happened."

He gently stroked Kili's face, "I know you won't believe me. I'm not expecting you to. Not after all you've been through. All I ask is that you give us a chance to show you how wrong you were. How wrong we all were to make you feel this way. Please?"

Kili licked his lips before giving a small nod. Thorin sighed,

"Now then, is there anything you want to tell me? Anything at all?"

Kili bit his lip. Thorin wasn't exactly known for being sensitive. He gave a short nod.

"I always feel so useless. Like I'm just a waste. Every minute I just want my life to be over! And I don't even know why half the time!"

Thorin moved from the chair to sit by Kili who leant against him. Rubbing his nephews back Thorin kissed him on the forehead.

"Oh Kili! Honestly? I don't know what to say to you. You aren't useless. You can fight, you're smart and you're one of the kindest people I know. You're young. Of course you'll feel like you have no purpose. I was the same at your age. You just have to remember you have a family that loves you. A brother who's worst nightmare is to lose you."

Kili lowered his head, "Why is it easier to believe the bad things people say about me?"

Thorin frowned at this and Kili continued.

"I found it so easy to believe the insults people threw my way. But when Fili told me how great I was…I couldn't bring myself to believe him. Why?"

Thorin shook his head. His nephew had questions he didn't know the answers to. And that thought alone broke him. Instead he hugged Kili tightly.

"I can't say Kili. What I can say is that it hurts us to think you don't believe how loved you are. All I can do is hope that – in time – you'll realise that it's true."

Kili nodded. Thorin squeezed him tightly before getting to his feet and moving towards the door. He was just about to leave when Kili licked his lips.

"Thorin?"

"Yes Kili?"

"I'm sorry for scaring you before. When I…you know."

Thorin shook his head, "it's okay Kili. It's okay."

If Kili thought taking to Thorin was going to be hard, he was completely unprepared for when his mother came in. Dis was incredibly pale and Kili noticed how she kept reaching out to touch him – trying to reassure herself that he was still there.

"Oh my darling boy!" Pulling him close she held him tightly. The way she had done when he was younger. Burying his face in his mother's chest Kili burst into tears. Ever since talking to Fili he had assumed he had no tears left. That he had used them all up. But as his mother pressed her lips to his forehead he realised that wasn't true.

"My darling Kili!" His mother tightened her hold and Kili bit his lip. He didn't know how to explain it to her. He didn't really want to explain. Easing back his mother pushed his hair from his face.

"Oh Kili. Forgive me! Had I known about this..?"

Kili shook his head, "I'm sorry for scaring you Mother. I just…I was so unhappy and I felt so worthless…"

His mother placed a finger to his lips, "I don't wish to hear it. Not now. Right now all I care is that you're still alive. That I have a chance to be a better mother to you."

Kili shook his head. None of this was his mothers fault. He gripped her hand tightly.

Mother please! Don't blame yourself!"

"I'm your mother! Of course I'll blame myself! It's my job to look after you until the day I die."

Kili didn't bother arguing. He knew just how stubborn his mother could be. He knew she'd always blame herself for this. He sighed. If anything was going to make him feel guiltier then it would be this. His mother kissed his firmly on the cheek.

"I love you Kili. Always remember that."

Getting up she took a deep breath before moving from the room. Kili sighed to himself as he sat back. His family seemed to assume his problems would all be solved by a few kind words. That he would suddenly feel better about himself if he was told how much he was loved. Kili shook his head.

They didn't know anything.

Okay so slightly shorter update here with a bit of therapy for poor Kili. Apologies for any tears that have come but the next chapter isn't going to be much better I'm afraid. Also quick poll here (again) but i wondered what you guys thought of Durincest. Because i had a couple of one shot/ three - four chapter story ideas but i'm really unsure about them and i just wondered what your opinions were. Let me know what you all think xx