Chapter 10: This Is What Makes Us

Scorpius thought about Albus Potter and Al Potter for the rest of the holidays. The whole situation felt weird to him. They had spent five year at odds with each other, spent last year completely ignoring the other, had a rough start to this year and then suddenly Scorpius is waking up on his living room floor with a raging hangover and Albus Potter asleep beside him. Not to mention with the knowledge of Albus's big secret drilled into his brain.

How did this happen. Why was he, aMalfoy for fuck's sake, trusted with this?

Why why why.

Two years ago and he would have told everyone Albus's secret so that Albus could be publically shamed and outcasted. Now all he cared about was helping him and making sure he doesn't try what he did in August again. He can't believe it but he realizes that he honestly cares for the Potter boy.

Weird.

He was hoping to see Albus on the train back to Hogwarts at the end of the break so that they could talk (though he wouldn't have a clue where to even start in that conversation) but he couldn't find him. Later that night when he had unpacked his things and was heading up with Cale to the Great Hall for dinner he saw Finn walking up ahead but he was alone. He was so focused as to where Albus could be that he didn't see him sneak up beside him until Albus was latching onto his arm and pulling him across the hall into a room that turned out to be a tiny broom closet.

The room was pitch black and Scorpius couldn't see a thing. He wanted to light his wand but Albus didn't light his either so he wasn't sure what the protocol was in this situation and he was also definitely over thinking this and he should definitely shut up.

A voice in the dark cleared their throat and said, "Sorry for, uh, kidnapping you. I tried to catch you on the train but I couldn't find you."

"Okay," said Scorpius an octave higher than usual. He was glad for the darkness because his face was beat red at the thought of being alone in a broom cupboard with Albus.

"I just wanted to, umm, fuck why are we in the dark..." There was a rustling sound and then Albus was holding up his lighted wand. His eyes were glassy and Scorpius realized that he had a kind of excited-nervous energy about him but he couldn't quite figure it out.

"So I've realized recently that you're actually a pretty chill bloke," Albus started in one breath. It sounded a bit scripted like he'd practiced which made Scorpius's heart beat really, really fast.

"So you know about the whole Nathan situation and now about this and I'm fairly certain you wouldn't be a big enough prick to tell people but I just want to make sure you know not to say anything. Especially about the Al thing."

Albus looked at Scorpius expectantly, waiting for his answer. Scorpius, meanwhile was blanking, thinking only about how Albus was taller than him and how he was sure Albus could here his heartbeat and how they were very much alone in this cupboard. When he realized that Albus was waiting for an answer Scorpius shook his head and said, "Yes, of course. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

Albus seemed satisfied because he lowered his wand that Scorpius hadn't even noticed had raised a bit. Albus grinned a bit awkwardly.

"So we're cool, yea?"

"You have a spider on your face," said Scorpius stupidly.

Albus reached up calmly (Scorpius would have definitely screamed like a child) and plucked the spider from his cheek. Then he smiled and flicked the spider into Scorpius's face. Albus then bolted from the cupboard and ran laughing all the way to the Great Hall, the sound of Scorpius yelling and banging about the closet ringing in his ears.

~O-O~

Scorpius jerked awake the next working in that sudden hysterical way that one may experience after a horrific nightmare. In Scorpius's case it wasn't so much a nightmare as a dream that he wished he didn't want.

In the dream, Scorpius was alone on the highest tower of Hogwarts. It was summer because the lake had melted and the trees were full and green and yet the air felt cold like something had taken all the heat from the world.

And then Albus was there, his skin warm and tan as his hands reaching for Scorpius. Their skin touched and Scorpius felt his body heat right down to his toes. Scorpius looked into his eyes, the brightest green he had ever seen, for what could have been five minutes or five hours or five years. And then Albus's hands found Scorpius's cheeks and they were kissing and even when Scorpius woke up he could still feel Albus's lips on his. He sat up slowly and stared out the window, wishing that he hadn't dreamed that. He knew that him and Albus could never actually be together, he wasn't an idiot. He wished there was a switch that he could just flip and he would forget about how he felt but that was ridiculous and didn't exist. He ran his hands roughly through his hair before he got up to have a shower and forget about stupid Potter and his stupid attractiveness and his stupid green eyes.

~O-O~

Finn watched Albus put on his school robes in amusement. Albus's trousers were on backwards and his shirt was buttoned wrong so that one end was longer than the other. He debated whether or not he should let him walk out of the dormitory like that.

In the end Finn just smirked and said, "Having some difficulties there, mate?"

Albus looked down, cursed, and tried to fix himself before they were late for breakfast.

"Anything on your mind?" Finn asked. He was hoping for a love confession for Scorpius but he knew it was too early for that. He was 95% sure that Albus hadn't even realized it yet.

"It was alright him to trust, right?" Albus asked quietly. His fingers slipped over the fastenings on his shirt. "Or was telling him the worst thing imaginable."

"He may be a Malfoy," said Finn, leading the way out of the dormitory, "but he does have a heart. He won't betray you."

"Who won't betray you, Albus?" asked Rose, appearing at the bottom of the girls' staircase. "What did I miss?"

Finn and Albus exchanged a look.

"It's nothing, Rose," said Albus. "Weird thing happened with Cale, is all."

Rose could tell that Albus wasn't telling her the truth. She pursed her lips in a very Aunt Hermione kind of way and left the boys without another word.

Rose was pissed off but did feel like she had every right to be. She had been there for Albus after it had happened and now it seemed like he had forgotten her and all she'd done for him. Rose was the one who got Albus to calm down after what he'd done on Christmas. She'd thought that maybe things would get better for the two of them but nothing had changed.

Albus was lost in his own mind. Drowning in his own sadness with no chance of being saved.

Rose kept trying to help him but there's only so many times she can be pushed away before she had to give up.

~O-O~

Morning classes past quickly for Albus. Usually when his thoughts were overflowing things will crawl until he is sure time itself had stopped just to torture him but today things were different. He met Finn after Arithmancy and the two walked together towards the Great Hall for lunch. Albus made for the Gryffindor table but Finn stopped him saying, "Do you think we should, after all...?"

He trailed off but Albus followed his gaze. He was looking over to where Cale and Scorpius were sitting at the Slytherin table. Albus debated it for a moment in his head before he said, "I suppose," and followed Finn to the table. Scorpius looked up and his eyes met Albus's.

"Can we sit with you?" Finn asked his brother. Albus did not take his eyes off Scorpius.

"Sure," said Cale, budging up to make room.

Finn stepped up onto the table and crossed it to the other side, sitting opposite his brother. Albus sat down slowly in front of Scorpius. Their knees were touching but neither made any attempt to remedy this. Finn and Cale started up a conversation about the summer holidays and other random things that made Albus wonder if there were just making shit up so that he and Scorpius could talk.

"So," Scorpius said. He tried to think of something to say, failed and took an extra big gulp of orange juice, choking on it.

Albus swore. "Didn't used to be this awkward..."

They fell until silence again, Albus looking anywhere but at the boy in front of him and Scorpius trying to will his face into not being so red. As a last resort he reached into his pocket and pulled out a new bag of licorice wands, stuck one in his mouth and offered the bag to Albus. Albus took a few and after that there were no more quiet moments. At one point Scorpius looked over to see both Cale and Finn wink at him at the exact same time. He was fucking grateful that Albus did not see that.

~O-O~

The last class of the day was charms which Gryffindor and Slytherin have together. Today, Cale, Finn, Albus and Scorpius sat together at the back of the class. They were working on complicated non-verbal spells. Cale seemed to napping with the hood of his cloak over his eyes. Finn was chatting up a few Slytherin girls which left Albus and Scorpius to talk quietly with each other.

"It's Lily's birthday in a few days," said Albus. "Turning sixteen."

"What are you getting her," asked Scorpius distractedly, flicking his wand and making Cale's right shoelace sway in the air.

"Not a clue. James was always good at getting her stuff. Lily and I... we're not that close actually."

Something strange in his voice made Scorpius look up. "Did you used to be? Sorry," he added quickly as an after thought. It sounded a bit less rude in his head.

Albus waved his wand and Cale's left shoelace shot up into the air and began battling the right one.

"She was the most traumatized of everyone to find out about me," said Albus. "At first she wouldn't believe I even had DID. She kept saying that it was just mood swings and that we all have multiple personalities to an extent."

"That's horrible," said Scorpius quietly before he could stop himself.

"She just didn't... get it for the longest time. Even now she can barely look at me and oh great! I'm crying in charms!"

Rubbing his eyes Albus looked around and said, quite dramatically, "Hold me, Finn!"

Scorpius felt a familiar roar of jealousy watching Finn hug Albus. Even though it was unrealistic, Scorpius wished that Albus had asked him for a hug.

When class ended twenty minutes later, Albus asked the others if after dinner they should all go to the library to study and hang out. With identical evil grins in Scorpius's direction the twins told Albus that they have charms club to get to that evening. Finn then followed it up saying that Albus and Scorpius should still go study together. Scorpius could tell that Albus felt awkward about it but he shrugged and agreed anyway, turning to Scorpius as if to say can't back down now.

The boys walked to dinner but ate separately. Cale sat down beside Scorpius and watched him eat at such an alarming speed he couldn't tell if he was just really hungry or was trying to make himself sick.

"Trying to up your stamina for Albus?" Cale asked.

Scorpius, appearing not to have even heard him, stopped shoveling food into his mouth long enough to say, "I'm fucked for our study date, aren't I."

Cale nodded. "Yeah, pretty much, mate." Scorpius picked up his goblet of pumpkin juice and drank half of it in one go, his eyes fixed across the hall at the back of a certain black head.

Albus, meanwhile, wasn't eating a thing. He had chosen the side of the table that faces away from the Slytherin's so he could stare wide-eyed at the wall and not show Scorpius that tonight was going to be a disaster.

"Stop it, mate. You look bloody terrifying," smirked Finn. "Unless you've had an aneurysm and can't move your facial muscles in which case I am very sorry."

"I'm right fucked for tonight aren't I," said Albus flatly.

Finn just winked.

A half hour later, Cale and Finn left Albus and Scorpius in the charms corridor, leaving them to walk to the library at the other end of the third floor alone. The short walk felt like ages. They talked mostly about the ministry party that was coming up that. As the children of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, they were both being forced to attend.

They were almost at the library when Professor Healy stopped them.

"Potter I was wondering if I could have a word," he said, his face devoid of emotion. His eyes flickered to Scorpius. "Malfoy will you give us a moment."

"Okay," said Scorpius unsurely. He kept on walking but stopped and looked back when he reached the library.

Albus looked strange. His hands were clenched tight against his sides and his jaw was twitching. Professor Healy was talking fast and strong, using his hands a lot to emphasize and either he was blind or an idiot but he wasn't backing down even though Albus's eyes were beginning to shine. But he did not cry. No.

It was worse.

Scorpius's eyes narrowed as he watched Albus shudder and shut his eyes for the briefest of seconds. He never would have known before but now he knows what to look for.

Professor Healy left shortly after. Al didn't immediately move. He waited, staring intently at the floor, before he finally shoved his hands into his pockets, sighed loudly and made his way over to Scorpius.

"Shall we?" he said casually, strolling right past Scorpius into the library as if nothing had happened.

"Seriously?" said Scorpius, hurrying to catch up. "That's it, that's all I get?"

"Dunno what you're talking about," muttered Al, scanning the room for an empty table. "Fuck, all the tables are full."

"There's always empty ones near the back now don't change the subject, you prat," hissed Scorpius.

Al glanced over at Scorpius, a grin on his face that seemed so wrong in the situation. "Don't worry your pretty face," he said. "Happens all the time and I'm here now so just forget it."

Scorpius chewed on the inside of his cheek and decided not to say anything else until they were alone. They managed to find a table and a large couch at the back of the Divination section. Al, ever proper, kicked off his shoes and undid the top few buttons on his shirt before flopping down onto the couch. When he noticed Scorpius staring at him he rolled his eyes and moved over so that Scorpius could sit. Reluctantly Scorpius sat, loosening his tie a bit. Al watched him.

The first twenty minutes were spent in near perfect silence. Scorpius knew they were meant to study together but now that Al was here he felt like everything was backwards. He peeked over at Al once and he looked really absorbed into his Herbology work but when Scorpius looked again he realized Al was drawing a massive Hungarian Horntail right in the middle of his or rather Albus's notes. Scorpius kept his mouth shut.

Considering Al's track record Scorpius was rather impressed at how long Al stayed focused, disregarding the fact that he was drawing and not actually doing any work. It was nearly an hour by the time Al threw down his quill and sighed loudly and obnoxiously. Scorpius wished he'd waited just a few more minutes to give up because he had only two inches to go for his potions essay.

"Maybe if you tried to actually do some work," muttered Scorpius.

Al didn't answer. Scorpius kept writing and was quite pleased with himself when he finished off the last word. He did a quick look over and, satisfied, he looked up smiling only to find Al looking at him strangely. His eyes were quite dark, like he was up to something.

"What," Scorpius said flatly.

"I'm bored," said Al, oddly breathless.

"Okay, sure. You've got quidditch in half an hour though so we should probably-"

Scorpius stopped talking because Al Potter was crawling across the couch towards him with a wicked smile until he was on top of Scorpius, with his hands on either side of his head keeping him trapped, leaning in. Scorpius came to his senses a second before Al's lips could meet his and he weakly pushed a hand against his chest.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he squeaked out. His heart was hammering against his chest and he was sure Al could hear it.

"What?" said Al evilly, like absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary. "Told you, I'm bored."

He leaned in again, closing his eyes. Their lips briefly touched.

Then Scorpius was pushing Al harshly in the chest until they were both back on opposite sides of the couch.

"What the fuck, mate!" Scorpius stammered. His face was a bright shade of pink and his eyes were wide open.

Al, cool as ever, smirked and said, "Common, Scor, I see the way you look at me. Albus may be blind but I'm not."

Scorpius gaped at him.

"Nothing to say?" Al teased. He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Thought so."

He walked off, his fingers trailing across Scorpius's shoulder as he went. He paused at the end of the aisle only to turn back and wink.

Scorpius stared at the empty spot where Al had been, not quite sure what to do. Eventually he stood and mechanically packed his things back into his bag. When he was done he realized that Al had accidentally forgotten his ruined Herbology notes. He picked it up and realized that Al had not left it by accident at all.

The picture was a Hungarian Horntail, right down to the last detail. Except there was a small figure riding the dragon who was unmistakably Scorpius.

And he was naked.

Feeling embarrassed, mad and somewhat flattered Scorpius left the library with the drawing shoved deep in his bag where no one would ever fucking see it.

Author's note

If you're looking for a similar Albus/Scorpius fic to read while I update this one I have a completed one on my profile! It's chaptered and a lot like this one in the sense that it's funny but also angsty. Don't forget to review!