Disclaimer: I own nothing.

– – –

The trio wandered the street of the town they'd stopped in, looking over the area for both materials for the factory and supplies. They had list from just about every job, all of them needing something, and they were keeping an eye out. It couldn't hurt to be well-stocked.

Glenn was in the middle of Rick, who as always took the lead, and Daryl, who was silently lagging behind, clearly absorbed in his thoughts. He was glad to be out of Alexandria, looking for ways to try and further ensure the future and survival of it and its people. He knew they'd be back within a day or two, but for now it was just them and the world. He could handle that. His guard was up, his ears listening for the telltale sounds of walkers, and he had his weapon at the ready if they ran into any assholes like the ones who kidnapped Maggie and Carol.

Rick could hear Glenn and Daryl behind him, and he could tell them apart. Glenn was lifting his feet, his boots not making much noise, but Daryl would inadvertently drag his feet now and then. He could hear the bottom of his boots scraping across the ground. He didn't have to linger on what was distracting Daryl. Or why Glenn was so quiet. It wasn't just being so exposed that had his teammate, his family, silent as the grave. He didn't want to provoke Daryl, if he had any anger left in him, and he didn't want to pester Glenn. They both had a lot on their minds, a weight on their chests, and he knew both somewhat well.

Daryl's body was tense, ready for any random attack, but his mind was drowning in the many thoughts clogging it. They all revolved around the baby and Carol, how much Carol had changed and how he felt about those changes, how he felt about her. It was dizzying, to be frank, and he realized he wasn't at all into this run right now, but he was alert. He wouldn't put them in danger simply because he couldn't work out what the hell was happening to him.

They continued their trek through the town, Rick stopped to peer through a dirty window, seeing if they were any items worth taking, and he spotted something in the back. It would be a bitch to carry, but it could prove useful.

– – –

It'd been a full day since Glenn, Daryl and Rick left Alexandria to search for supplies, Michonne put Carol in charge of Judith as she filled in for Rick, and Maggie took a couple of Rick's shifts. Michonne was hesitant, but in the end she decided if Maggie thought she ready to be back on the clock then she was ready. Or at least ready to be distracted.

Michonne traded shifts with Spencer to slip back to the house and check on Carol and Judith. She called to them, but there was no answer. She checked the kitchen and living room, even her and Rick's room for the two, but they weren't there. She didn't panic, because she heard giggling. A baby giggling happily, and she followed the sound until she found Judith in Carol's room, playing with a knitted bunny.

"Hey, Judy." She sat on the bed beside the toddler. "Whatcha got there?"

"A gift from Maggie and Glenn." Carol was sitting in the doorway to her bedroom. "She weeded it out and refused to let go of it."

Michonne smiled. "She likes it."

"Mmm."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just... I'm a little beat."

"If you want, I can take Judy while you get some rest."

"Would you?"

"Of course." She picked Judith up and adjusted her grip on the bunny so it didn't fall to the floor. Judith would get upset, maybe even wail, and while giving the toy back would sooth her, Michonne didn't want to hear her cry.

"Your shifts," Carol began to protest.

"I'll drop her off with Maggie if I absolutely can't avoid my shifts. She'll be off the wall in an hour."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, but with Enid busy at the clinic and Carl already picking up the slack from Daryl and Rick being on a run, there's no one else I trust to leave Judith with." She trusted the Alexandrians, but this was Judith. Judy didn't take well to strangers. She wasn't a big fan of Gabriel, but she adjusted to him. Michonne didn't want to expose her to someone she'd been briefly held by.

"Thanks."

"Get some sleep." She carried Judith out of the room and down the stairs.

Carol closed her eyes and waited until the front door shut then climbed to her feet and padded down the stairs, slipping out the back door. She knew how to avoid those on patrols and on the wall. She knew the kids were still in school, and she knew the women and men of Alexandria had their assigned jobs to do, so she was confident she wouldn't run into anyone. Unless they were following, or trying to find her.

– – –

Rick busted through the window, Daryl and Glenn were on the lookout for walkers who could hear the shattering glass and would be drawn to the sound, and Rick did a sweep of the inside of the store. It was empty, save for the items they would be taking with them, and Rick decided then they'd need another car to haul it back to Alexandria.

"Glenn and I will look for a truck," Rick announced to the party. "Daryl, why don't you stay here and secure the area? Keep an eye on the goods."

"All right." Daryl was sitting on the ledge of the store window. "If I came across people?" Or more like if they came across him.

"Watch them," Glenn answered. "Decide what to do with what you learn about them."

Rick glanced at the younger man and nodded. "We'll be back."

"Don't gotta worry about me," Daryl grumbled.

"I know, just lettin' you know."

Daryl remained where he was seated, Rick and Glenn searched the area for a truck, and Rick didn't know which of the two would be more willing to talk to him about their problems. He knew Daryl was pissed and bemused and worried. It wasn't something just anybody could pick up on unless they were excellent at reading people, or if they knew Daryl like Rick knew him. It didn't take many guesses to figure out what still was going on in his head right now, and Rick wasn't sure he could help him. He didn't know if Daryl fully knew the problem himself. The obvious issues on the matter were evident, but there were underlying issues Rick wasn't positive Daryl knew about them, or even wanted to scratch the surface of.

As for Glenn, he was still wrestling with what happened at Hilltop. Rick wasn't certain he could broach the subject with him. He'd never seen Glenn like this before. He'd seen him after the Governor had taken him and Maggie, and the pangs of guilt and fury that boiled up inside of him. He'd seen Glenn after they lost Beth, and the agony that showed in his eyes from her death and Maggie's suffering. He hadn't been all there mentally to properly recall their reactions when they lost Lori and T-dog, but he'd seen the other losses and how Glenn reacted to them. Yet this was different. Even if he put himself in Glenn's shoes, he couldn't begin to comprehend what would be going on inside of him, aside from what he'd learned from his own past anguishes and how he'd processed them.

Though what Rick did or thought or what mindset he put himself in didn't matter, because this was Glenn, and it wasn't the Governor who'd hurt him. It wasn't some asshole criminal who wanted to get even. It wasn't cannibals. It wasn't even the bastards who kidnapped Maggie and Carol. It was an excruciating mystery. It swept into their lives and claimed the life Maggie and Glenn had made together. It was bigger than simply just the baby. It always seemed to be bigger, a hidden meaning lying there in the wake of tragedy, and there wasn't a patch for it. There wasn't a quick fix, or even a lengthy fix. It would take time and maybe a couple of talks with Denise and a hell of a lot of work to survive this devastating accident, but he would never truly be over it. It'd always be with him, a piece of him.

There were repairs to be made within Glenn, thoughts and doubts and anxieties to quell in the days and weeks and months to come. He would have to find a way to look at himself and not assign some kind of blame for what happened to his child. He would have to find the strength to get up every morning and not hate the world, not hate himself, for what occurred. And most of all, he would have to figure how...he and Maggie fit together now. The precious, elated image of their marriage and bond had been tried and somewhat shattered due to the miscarriage. He still—and always—loved her, trusted her, had faith in her one hundred percent, but there was a voice now, in the back of his mind. It would creep up on him at any given moment, and he'd started to question and doubt and fear all over again. It would eat and eat until it devoured him, their love and their relationship whole. It was a greedy little voice, and it lived to destroy.

Rick gazed at the young man beside him and hoped Glenn was stronger than he was. That voice had ripped him and Lori apart, and he didn't want that for Maggie and Glenn. The love they have was pure and potent; something for any stranger to look upon and know there was still good in the world if a love like that could not only happen but burn and grow against any wind and storm. He hoped they got that back. Their fire was starting to dwindle, and if this continued, it would die out entirely.

"How's the jaw?" Glenn suddenly inquired, breaking the silence as they strode through vacant streets.

"The muscles twitch when Daryl raises his hand," Rick mused, "but otherwise fine."

Glenn wanted to chuckle, but it didn't escape through the lump in his throat, and he stopped walking to look at Rick. "Are you going to come out and ask me what you want to ask me?"

Rick sighed. "Would you even honestly answer me?"

"No, because I don't know what the hell I feel right now, Rick," he blurted. "I don't feel anything. I can't even be in the same room as my wife, and now here we are trying to find materials for the factory, to secure our future when I don't know what the hell is waiting for me in my future. And on top of that, you want to...get that stuff?"

"She'll need it."

"I know. I know she'll need it, but it's like a punch in the gut."

"I know how it feels to—"

"Don't sympathize with me!" Glenn roared, forgetting himself and their surroundings. "You never lost Carl! He's always come back from it all. He's a tough kid. And Judith is damn lucky! Don't tell me you know what I'm feeling. You only thought you lost Judith for about, what? A week? My baby is dead, Rick. That doesn't compare. There isn't a glimmer of hope for me and Maggie. There was no Tyreese and Carol to save our baby. It's just gone! Don't you dare try and sympathize with me and my loss!"

Rick watched him storm off toward a truck at the end of the street, and he shook his head. He was right. Rick could say he understood, but in the end, he couldn't. Tyreese and Carol had saved his baby girl, and Carl had the strength of his mother. There was nothing to compare, and Rick should stop trying. Glenn had to fight this alone, it seemed.

Or at least with someone other than him.

––

Daryl squinted at the sun that reflected off the glass and ground around him, and he kept his senses sharp. He knew he had to, being here alone, and he was ready to take on anything that came for him. Part of him was ready to pounce and kill if the situation called for it, but the other part was focused on Carol. Carol and the baby and Tobin.

He had a nightmare about the whole thing last night. He thought it was a sick joke his brain was playing on him, envisioning Carol and Tobin together in any way, and then the nightmare got worse. So much worse. Carol was suddenly in labor and the baby...just tore through her. She was crying and pleading and screaming, and the baby was ripping her apart. It was dead, and it was feeding on her, infecting her and killing her, and Daryl was the only one in the room. He had to do something—anything—to stop that monster, to save Carol, but of course there was only one thing he could do to end it all.

He woke up before he had to kill either one of them, but it was haunting him. He'd thought about it the whole trip to the pharmacy and back. He couldn't keep it from his thoughts, and it shook him to his core. Losing the baby and Carol in one awful moment was something he knew would stay with him throughout her pregnancy, and he knew he'd subconsciously stick close to her to try and prevent that outcome. That was why he got the pills, to keep the baby strong and alive, and also to show her he was there for her, as always.

Although he knew he couldn't be there for her on the day. She was his family, his best friend, hell even part of him, but he couldn't be there in the delivery room with her, knowing all the things that could go wrong. She would have all the support of the women, and maybe she'd let Rick in there, but he couldn't do it. He knew it could all be okay, but he knew it could all go badly wrong within a matter of seconds. Seconds were a powerful and dreadful thing, and he fucking hated them. All it took was one of them to ruin everything, to cause the world and the peace and homes to collapse, and he couldn't do it. He couldn't in a room or area where he couldn't control every second, not after the last time.

The smoke rising into the air, the neighborhood kids pedaling down the road to see what was going on, and he was running, running, running only to find his house on fire.

The walkers filling the yard, the blaring alarm, Carol's pained cry as the walker sank its teeth into T-dog, the rest of their family scattering as he and Rick raced to the gate.

She wasn't sorry.

Lair.

Turn it off.

I get it now.

Get out of here, man.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the blood splatter on his hand when he plunged the knife in, and his stomach churned. Yeah, he fucking hated seconds.

"Daryl."

He opened his eyes and found a truck with Rick behind the wheel. He rose and looked for Glenn.

"He went on ahead to look for supplies." He tossed the keys at him. "You'll drive it back. I...think that's best."

"Yeah." He stuffed the keys into his pocket. "Brought an extra bit of gas, right?"

"Yeah."

"Let's get this done then."

Daryl kicked open the front door, Rick tested one of the displays, wanting to make sure it'd hold, and Daryl loaded one of the boxes into the bed of the truck. Some assembly required, but it might be more sturdy than the one Rick was shaking, and if not, they'd just grab one of them too. They had to room, and there were always more cars. He could hot wire a car if he had to, and Glenn could drive moderately well. With the tension in this group, they might as well drive back to separately. The ride here was practically unbearable.

"What's the difference here?" Daryl pointed between the hanging white basket and the crib to the left. He partly wondered if it was just for the starry night display, to make it cute and sucker in moms-to-be, but he had a feeling there might be a purpose beyond money. It was a little basket with a doll in it, and it couldn't just be for show. Could it?

"That," Rick pointed to the white hanging basket, "is a bassinet."

"The hell's a bassinet?"

Rick chuckled at the confused tone in Daryl's voice, and he knew Daryl thought it was stupid to have two of what he thought were the same thing. "A newborn's pretty small, Daryl, you know that, and some people like to keep 'em in bassinets 'cause they're small too, not much wiggle room."

"Why wouldn't you want the kid to roll?"

"It's a baby. You don't want it to roll at all," Rick answered, slight horror in his voice. He knew Daryl didn't know much about babies. Beth tended to Judith after that first feeding, and he only hung around now and then to talk to Carol. The most he knew likely was changing a diaper and feeding. "Carl spent a long while all coiled up like he was still in the womb, and Lori kept him in a bassinet to keep him snug, said it was cozier. She was really worried about SIDS too. She read up on it, thought the bassinet would be safer."

"What?" His brows furrowed, his heart increasing in its rhythm, having an inkling that he wasn't going to like what Rick was about to tell him.

"SIDS. It stands for sudden infant death syndrome. Blankets and quilts, which you'd use with a crib, raise the risk of SIDS." He saw the frown crossing Daryl's face. "Besides a bassinet's small, and before we moved into our house, we didn't have a lot of room. It made carting Carl around easier."

"So, even if the kid makes it and is healthy...this sudden death thing can happen? Why?"

"It's unexplained."

"That's bullshit." There was a rage in his voice, and he had a feeling his mind just came up with a new to terrorize him in his sleep. Shit, what must be happening in Carol's thoughts and dreams right now?

"Yeah." He walked over to the display and pulled out his knife to cut down a bassinet. "We should bring one back with us."

"What else?" Daryl took the bassinet from Rick.

"What else what?" He checked the diapers in the display and tossed them in the bassinet, meeting Daryl's eyes. "What else can happen?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know all of it, Daryl. I'm not a doctor, and Lori did most of the reading." He knew that wasn't going to pacify his friend, and he scanned the store. "We might be able to find a book or two on pregnancy. You can read up on it, maybe ask Harlan about it when we take Carol up to Hilltop. I mean, I don't know how much good it'll do, but it's up to you."

"We got time." Daryl set the bassinet down and began to search for both books and any other supplies the baby and Judith might need.

Rick smiled to himself at his friend's behavior. If he didn't know the facts, he would swear Daryl was the father of this kid. He knew that wasn't a possible with how Daryl had been the last couple weeks and especially with how Carol had been. She avoided Daryl, and it wasn't because they'd had drunken sex in the backyard. It was something she was hiding from them, something Tyreese had hinted at while they were staying at the church, and he knew Daryl was probably the only person who could get it out of her. She and he were like Maggie and Glenn without physical relationship and marriage.

Daryl was certainly acting like a father-to-be, or a very concerned friend. With all Daryl had lost, it was no surprise. Carol was one of the last few things that kept Daryl from completely snapping and going mad. He was a tough man, been through hell and back, but he walked on the edge just like any of them, and Rick could tell he wanted to avoid plunging into the darkness. Once you were in it wholly, there was no escaping. It was a stain, and it'd consume all the parts of yourself that make you human and, well, you. It wasn't surviving or being alive. It was a pitiful existence, and he'd seen the shadows of it dancing around Daryl after they lost Beth in Grady. It had danced around Maggie too, but they had their anchors. They had Glenn and Carol right there, but if Carol were to be taken from him...

Rick ducked his head and bent down to pick up a couple stuffed animals for Judith. He wiped the dusty and bits of fallen display off its head and peeked at Daryl once more. It dawned on him then that these battles, these struggles, were ones Daryl and Glenn had to work through by themselves. He didn't have the experience to aid either of them, because that plunge was different for everyone, and he couldn't compare his to theirs. He could only hope to be here when they found their way back.

– – –

Maggie watched Judith play with the knitted bunny she'd given to Carol, smiling at her little face, and she rested her head on her hand. She didn't mind watching Judith. They all had jobs to do, and Michonne's was to fill in the space the boys had made by leaving for their run.

"You were gonna have a friend," Maggie whispered to the light-haired toddler. "I don't know if it was gonna be a girl or a boy, but you were supposed to have a friend. I mean, you couldn't play with them for a while...but you guys would have liked each other."

Judith looked at her with the eyes of Lori and smiled a little.

"Yeah." Maggie snuffled. "I know we couldn't paint or decorate a nursery, but that didn't matter. We would make the room feel like home. Glenn and me." Her gloss green eyes met the ceiling. "I don't know what name we would have come up with, but I think if it'd been a girl I'd have given her Beth as a middle name. There's no way she couldn't be as sweet and as loving as Beth.

"Or for a boy...Hershel as a middle name. Daddy was...a stubborn and foolish and gentle man." She chuckled weakly at the thought of her father. "He was resilient and wise. He learned from his mistakes and taught me—taught us—so much. I don't know who I'd be today without him, and I think my son would have brought honor to the name."

Judith watched Maggie, nibbling on the ear of the bunny.

"But it doesn't matter now." She reached out and stroked Judy's cheek, smiling sadly. "You won't have a friend."

Judith fussed softly, as if understanding and mourning the loss of her friend.

"But don't worry, don't worry. You won't have a friend from me, but from Carol. I know it." She captured the bunny and made soft smooching sounds as she pressed it to Judith's cheeks. "We need another sweet child around here, and I'll fight tooth and nail to ensure that happens. You'll get a friend, and we'll make sure Carol's taken care of, won't we? They'll be all right. We'll make sure of."

She giggled.

"Yes, we will." She snuffled and wiped at her eyes, engulfing the toddler in a hug Maggie desperately needed. She closed her eyes and rocked Judith, trying to keep the tears away.

– – –

Carol wandered the less occupied parts of Alexandria. She knew there wasn't a chance in hell Michonne would let her come out there, so she had to lie and distract her. Michonne, much like the rest of her family, was concerned about the well being of the baby and by extension her, so a little white lie it was. In the long run, it would benefit all of them if she succeeded. If she failed...well, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

"Carol?"

She whirled around at the sound of his voice and mentally groaned. "What are you doing out here?"

"What are you doing out here? I thought you were tired."

She glared. "You're stalking me inside the walls now?"

"No." Morgan stepped toward her. "I just...heard it from the grapevine."

"I needed some air, so I'm taking a walk." She shrugged. "You can go now."

"You shouldn't overexert yourself."

"It's just a small walk around town."

"I know," he informed her. "I also heard it from the grapevine."

"So?"

"So, you should be inside where it's cooler. You need to stay hydrated." He paused to ask, "Have you even eaten lunch?"

"Morgan, the last thing I want or need from you is concern. Just go back and leave me alone." She turned on her heel and continued toward the empty houses.

"Do you intend to move into one of them?"

"It's none of your business what I intend."

"I was only asking."

"Well, stop!" She faced him. "I don't have anything to say to you, and I don't care what you think you have to say to me. We're not on the same page. You can't imagine anything I've gone through, so don't stand there and try to "help me through it", okay?"

"You can't do it alone," he urged. "Everything's about people. Everything in this life that's worth a damn, that's what I know. And you trying to be out there on your own will only get you killed. It's not just you anymore, Carol. To be honest, it was never just you."

"Do you really not get it? After everything that's happened." Those sapphire orbs narrowed and boiled as her aggravation towards the man in front of her increased. "I made my decision, because it was the only one I had. If you care about people, there are people to protect. There are people that you will kill for. If you don't want to kill, or...if you can't? Then you have to get away from them. You do not get both. You—you should know."

He shook his head. "There are other ways."

Before Carol could get another word out, another voice called to them, and she wished she had stayed at home in bed. She didn't want to try and tolerate the situation unfolding around her, and she knew would have to try. She always had to try, but God was she getting so very fucking tired of it.

"What's going on?" Tobin looked from a very pissed off Carol to Morgan who appeared to be trying to calm her down. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Carol tightly ground out. "Morgan was just going home."

"If you need to—"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Carol snapped. "I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone. I don't need to be coddled or looked in on every ten minutes! I am a grown woman and being pregnant does not change that. I will survive just fine on my own."

"Maybe you should get some rest," Tobin suggested after a moment.

"What I need," Carol corrected, "is for you both to stop hovering. I get plenty of that from Michonne and Rick and sometimes even Carl. I really don't think that's too much to ask for."

"I just want to make sure the baby's okay." Tobin tried to keep the frustration from his voice. "And right now that means making sure you're okay."

"Well, all you're doing right now is pissing me off." She huffed and tried to reel in her emotions. "Just give me some space. It's all I need. You two make my blood pressure raise, and that's not good for the baby, so stop trying to force your help off on me and stop checking in on me. Michonne will do it in twenty minutes anyway."

"Well, Michonne isn't the father," Tobin snapped. "And I don't know what your and Morgan's conflicts are, but I'm not just going to walk away on command like a dog!"

"You think I'm treating you like a dog?" Carol stared. "All I'm asking for is room to move without hitting you or Morgan or Rick."

"You sure have a funny tone in asking."

"Anyone who's being stalked on a mere walk would have the same tone!"

"Would you mind if it were Daryl?"

"What?"

"Would you mind if it were Daryl coming over to pester you?" he pointedly repeated, a bitter edge to his words.

She had no idea where that came from, but she knew her reply without even thinking about it. "No, I wouldn't, because Daryl knows me well enough to know I don't need a babysitter. He'd know when to back off." She walked away from them, heading back toward the house.

"Hey!" Tobin tried to go after her, but Morgan grabbed his forearm. "What are you doing?"

"Let her go."

"This doesn't concern you. I need to talk to her."

"No, you don't want to talk to her right now, and you shouldn't as pissed as you are." Morgan locked eyes with him. "Let her be alone."

Tobin watched Carol quickly walk back toward her house, Morgan loosened his grip on him, and he sighed. Morgan was right. He wasn't angry with Carol. He didn't need to talk to her right now. It wouldn't do their already crumbled relationship any good. He had to work out his irrational envy over Daryl before he brought up that subject again.

––

Carol opened her bedroom door, finding Michonne on her bed, and she didn't blink. She silently sat down beside her and rested her hands in her lap. They remained there mutely for a couple minutes, Michonne didn't demand to know why she'd lied or wasn't in the house, and Carol was grateful. She forgot how much she missed not being asked to explain her actions, missed being invisible, but like all things, it lost its perks swiftly.

"Here." She set a basket on the bed between them. "It's yarn and some needles. If you ever get bored, or just don't feel like going out...maybe you can make me a sweater."

Carol peered at her, not expecting this turn of events. "A sweater?"

"Can you make a hat? I'd like a beanie for the winter."

Carol almost smiled. "Maybe."

"There's not much there, but Rick might find more." She slid off the bed. "Either way, it's something to mess with."

She nodded. "Thank you." She didn't just mean for the yarn, and she knew Michonne knew that.

"You're welcome." She reached for the doorknob. "I'll be busy for the rest of the day, so make sure you eat and make dinner, because Carl isn't that good of a cook."

"I will."

Michonne nodded and walked out without another word, and Carol smiled, setting a hand on the basket and fingering the soft yarn. She'd knitted a blanket for Sophia when she was a baby. She wasn't sure if she'd make one for this baby, but she had the supplies to at least give it a shot now.

Blinking back tears at the thought of her little girl, Carol covered her face with her hands, listening to the sounds of the utterly empty house. She was alone. For the first time since she'd spoken to Rick at the gate, she was truly alone.

"Huh."