BPOV
Did this kid ever stop talking?
I mean, seriously, even if I wanted to try to get a word in, it would be easier to lift the Empire State Building with my bare hands. But hey, maybe he was nervous. I was.
"And then, this kid went in the middle of my fuckin' way and I was like shit man could you not use coke right there?"
Wow. This guy is training to be a psychologist? Whatever. I think he's pausing for breath. Let me try to fit something in.
"So, earlier today I was thinking, don't you think it's crazy how America's actions really affect other countries rather than our own? Like our bailouts. That completely backfired and now people who don't deserve to are richer. Meanwhile, China's having massive layoffs, just like America, because we're not importing their goods. God, for once could we just..."
I trailed off. The bemused look on his face had me thinking he didn't hear or care about a word I just said. I know that sounds petty but God knows I at least listened about his pot smoking friend.
"Um... yeah! Of course! And that Bernie Madoff character..." Jake shook his head.
"Exactly! That's what's wrong! How could we let something that horrid just slip by us?"
He blinked a few times, then nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. But, hey, let's not stress tonight," he flashed me a gorgeous white smile. "Tell me something about yourself."
I blushed. "Urm, well I uh, I'm 19 in two weeks."
"Well then, happy early birthday! Actually I just turned 19 two days ago."
"Oh! Well...happy belated birthday."
"Thanks," he laughed. After a silent moment, he pointed his knife at me. "Are you gonna finish that?"
Oh, hell no.
I cannot stand when people do that. Don't ask me why, I don't even know. I nodded vaguely and continued eating.
"You're from America, right?" he asked me a minute later, sipping his soda.
"Forks, Washington. Dullest and wettest town in America."
"No way! I'm from the reservation there!"
Excitedly, I asked, "La Push?"
"Yeah! Hey, small world, huh?"
"Absolutely."
First dates are always good times to make good first impressions. Hence the name first date. Jake had made a great one on me, because we continued dating. I noticed at times any one of my roommates would give me odd looks, and I soon became...well, to be honest, a complete pariah. It really sucked, actually. But Jake always made me feel better.
A year later, something interesting happened...
"Jake... I don't know..."
"You know you want to."
I tried to speak, but nothing but small bursts of air came out of my mouth. Again, "... I don't...I mean I don't know you that well..."
"Please tell me you're kidding. Please. We've been going out forever! Shit Bella, if now isn't well enough I don't know when is."
I was still hesitant. "You know how the others feel about--"
"Me? Jeez, I don't even know why they're like that--"
"Jake, you stole a car."
"I didn't! My friend did when he was high!"
My shoulders slumped. "And besides," he continued, "are you going to put their feelings over yours?"
Yes.
"No. It's just that... oh, I don't know. What the hell. Yes."
He leaned back and smirked. "I knew you'd see it my way."
And so Jake had proposed to me, exactly five weeks ago. Only Rosalie had agreed to come, the rest of the Cullens were busy with hiking, and Jasper was sick.
Five weeks in advance. Sigh.
"Nervous?" Alice asked me sharply as I stood, waiting for the taxi that would take Rose and I to the chapel.
"No."
"You should be. You should be ashamed. All Edward was trying to do was to protect you. You little ingrate."
She stormed off, leaving me be. I was used to her verbal abuse, she'd been talking to me like this ever since I'd accepted Jake's proposal.
"I do," I agreed to the sacred vows that would bind me to Jacob Black for eternity.
Literally. Apparently his branch of Christianity didn't believe in divorce.
But they believed in polygamy...? I had no need to worry, Jake had promised me he wouldn't follow his father's footsteps.
"WAIT!" A sudden cry echoed throughout the small church. Rosalie ran up the aisle, and kissed Jake square on the mouth. Even more surprising, he kissed her back.
"Rose...I told you to wait until after..." he whispered, his voice reverberating throughout the church. I was shell-shocked.
"Later, Bells. I guess you would've found out sooner or later. Tell the Cullens they can piss off.... well.... Nah. Nah..."
I ran to the back of the church, a small dressing room waiting for me to burst into tears.
But, unbeknownst to me, Edward had actually come.
With a guest. Erica, I think her name was?
Yeah, well, point is, they were getting hot and heavy in the dressing room.
Yay.
Life officially sucks.
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APRIL FOOLS!!!!
Sorry guys, this was too good to resist. How many readers did I lose right there, huh? I'm not good at pranks, so you probably knew all along... but there ya' go. Don't worry, I have another chapter about a page away from being done, so it'll be out later tonight. Thank you for putting up with my mediocre attempt at pranks. See ya soon.
-cullenite21
ps...if you feel like it, you can press the green button down there and tell me how shocked you were (if you were). berate me for giving you cardiac arrest, if need be...