Long time, no see. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Like I said, College is brutal. Anyways, introducing Chapter 11.

I walked steadily down the hallway, brushing off my skirt and knee-length socks as I sucked in some oxygen. My legs were shaking, and my stomach was quivering, but I managed to make it to the Great Hall without vomiting again.

"Hermione," Ron greeted me, his little brunette slut passing me a haughty glare. I ignored Lavender and smiled at my ginger best friend. "What happened? Are you okay? You just ran out of here while Harry was talking."

I threw Harry an apologetic smile, and he squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I'm sorry. I just haven't been feeling myself these days." Actually, it's been a month of vomiting and having an urge to use the bathroom. Those were two common symptoms of-

I shuddered with fear, and Harry squeezed my hand again. I wouldn't even go down that lane. If I did, I would think about the Death Eater. I'd think about the future that I didn't want, the future that I just couldn't have.

"Please Harry, what were you saying before I left?"

He nodded, and his brow furrowed. "I was just wondering if Draco knew about the attack on the Burrow."

I rolled my eyes. Bloody fucking hell. Not that shit again. I cringed at the curse words I thought up. I cut off all ties with Malfoy, and his influence on me was still present. "Harry, please don't start this again."

"You can't tell me that you think Draco didn't have anything to do with the attack."

"I actually think he didn't." And that was true. Malfoy may be a Death Eater, but he was still a young one. I doubt that Bellatrix Lestrange would let her blonde nephew know that she was going to attack the Burrow. She probably thought he was just a young boy, a Death Eater novice. He wasn't anything special.

"So you're telling me that you still think Draco Malfoy isn't a Death Eater?" Harry asked me, exasperated at my denial.

I bit my lip but nodded, whispering, "I still think he isn't." I excused myself and rushed out of the Great Hall, guilt clouding my heart and tears stinging my eyes. I knew the right thing to do was tell Dumbledore, Harry, and the Order members that Malfoy was a Death Eater. There was a Death Eater in the bloody castle, and I knew about it. I just couldn't say it. I couldn't tell anyone what I knew. Despite how much I hated Malfoy for what he was, I just couldn't put his secret out to the world. No matter how much I knew it was the right thing to do, I couldn't let the Order, or Harry, or even Dumbledore bring harm to Malfoy. My brain could fight my heart all day long, but I knew I was still in love with Draco Malfoy.

I wiped some tears from my eyes as I leaned my head against the cold window, staring out at the blanket of snow that covered Hogwarts' courtyard. How many nights had I spent dreaming of me and Draco making sweet love in the Room of Requirement? How many days had I spent crying over my lost lover? I had been a miserable wreck this Christmas break, barely cracking a smile or laugh with my parents as we traveled all over Sweden. I had cried all day in the bathroom on Christmas Day as I got a silver necklace as a present, a platinum chain with a dazzling emerald in the form of a heart as the pendant, red rubies bordering the emerald heart. On the back of the pendant was the inscription, My Gryffindor Queen. A note came with it, saying: You can hate me forever but know that I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. I will love you for the rest of my living days, and I will spend those days in darkness. I am cold without you, Queen. I will be cold without you forever because I know that I do not deserve your warmth. I am so sorry for my decision, but this is my life now. If forgetting me will help you move on, then please, forget that I exist. But I will love you forever, Hermione Granger.

Of course, how was I supposed to forget him after that note and beautiful necklace? I shoved my hand into my pocket, my fingertips gliding over the emerald as Blaise Zabini hollered my last name. I turned to watch him warily as he spotted me and strutted towards me with a lazy smile on his smooth face. He approached me and bowed dramatically. "My Lady Mudblood," he greeted me, and I banged the back of my head against the window. This was the last thing I needed right now. All I wanted to do was take this skirt off to let my stomach breathe.

"What?" I asked indifferently, looking at the boy impassively.

He took an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to me, a broad smile on his face. "A letter arrived for you at post after breakfast."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Why do you have it then?"

"Ah, milady, I was quietly walking behind that red-headed Weasel you are acquainted with when this letter happened to fall from his fingertips. I, being the gentleman that I am, picked it up to shred it and laughed when I saw the name Granger drawled on the front. As I continued walking, I noticed you dazing out of this window like a complete nutter, and I figured that I would just deliver the letter to you. Please, take it."

I snatched the letter from him, remembering that Ron had been looking for something, and when I asked, he told me it was a paper for me. I told him not to worry about it and that I'd probably find it later, and we had left for breakfast with Harry before I made a quick escape to throw up in the girl's lavatory.

"No thanks, Granger?" Zabini asked in a mock offended tone. "After all that I've done for you this morning, and you so rudely look at me with hateful eyes."

"Because I hate you, Zabini."

He smirked and turned on his heel, yelling at me over his shoulder, "I'd rather you hate me than Draco. He's a miserable, cold bloke, Granger." Before I could ask him to elaborate, he disappeared down the hall. I groaned and followed the boy down the hall, glancing at the clock as hundreds of students filled the halls after ending their breakfast. Cold. Why had he directed that word with Draco? Well of course, he was Draco's best friend. I groaned again as I realized that Draco had probably told Blaise everything, and I held the letter with shaking hands. As I looked at it, I got an unfamiliar sinking feeling in my gut that this letter was nothing good. I made it to Potions before anyone else, and I entered the class, sitting at the back as I cleaned a cauldron for the lesson today. The door opened a few minutes after I had entered, and I glanced curiously at whoever walked in. No one walked in when I did. No one was ever as early as I was. My breath left me as Draco Malfoy sauntered into the room, his cheeks sunk into his face, and dark circles under his eyes. He had a purple bruise on his right cheekbone, and I urged to kiss it away, my lips twitching with longing. I bit my bottom lip as Draco looked at me, his gray eyes darkening to black as his step faltered near my desk. We said nothing as we just looked at each other, longing evident in both of our eyes. Slowly, he nodded towards me and continued to his desk, dropping his bag carelessly onto the ground and sinking into his chair, dropping his head into his hands and shaking slightly. I looked away from the boy, my eyes stinging with tears as my heart tugged towards him. I may hate what lifestyle he chose for himself, but I was a compassionate person. No one deserved to be in despair like this, to be drowning in so much emotional pain like this. Didn't Draco always tell me that he needed me, that I kept him sane? I glanced at him as he rested his arms on the desk and leaned his head on them. What was happening to him now that I was gone? How was his mother? What torture did Draco have to endure, or what torture did he have to inflict on others? My head throbbed with questions, pleading for information that I needed in order to sleep at night without crying.

My lips parted, and before I could stop myself, I asked loudly, "Why did you give me the necklace?"

Draco's head flew up, and his pale face turned to me curiously. I stared at his beauty, even if he looked sick and wary. He was always going to be beautiful to me, with his gray eyes and plump lips, his white blonde hair, his aristocratic nose, his masculine jaw line. "Excuse me?" he asked, his eyes squinting curiously at me.

"I know it was you. The present said from Harry, but Harry wouldn't send me an emerald necklace. And there was a note."

His eyes widened. "A note?"

I nodded slowly, my brow scrunching together as he stared at me indifferently. "Did you not send me a present?"

His lips twitched, and he hesitated before answering, "I didn't send you a note." His eyes widened larger, and he cursed loudly. "Fucking Zabini."

"What?"

"Granger, let's not talk about this. Actually, let's not talk at all."

I glared at him and stood suddenly, his nose flaring as I stalked towards him and pointed a finger at him. "All you've ever done is lie to me, Draco. The least you could do is tell me the truth now. I'm not stupid! I know it was you."

"Damn it Granger! Yes, I got you a fucking necklace! I bought the necklace even before you found out what I was! When you so rudely left me, I still had the necklace. I kept it, and I wrote a note, but I didn't plan to send it. Fucking Blaise must have gotten a hold of that shit and sent it to you. Damn, I hate that kid."

I pouted, and he raised a perfect blonde eyebrow. "You didn't want me to have it?"

He scoffed and leaned away from me, taking a piece of my heart with him. "Don't be daft, Granger. Of course I wanted you to have it. I wouldn't have bought it for you if I didn't. I just… I had it before you left. It was supposed to be a Christmas present for you, but I figured you wouldn't want anything from me after that night in the Room of Requirement."

"Why would you think that?"

He looked at me incredulously. "Well, when a woman tells me she hates me and doesn't want to love me, I'm under the impression that she'd refuse any gift I sent her."

"But I kept it."

His lips parted, and his tongue ran swiftly over his upper lip. I squirmed, closing my legs together as my insides churned deliciously. "What did you say?" he whispered, his face glowing.

I swallowed and muttered, "I kept it." I grasped the chain in my pocket and gingerly pulled it out, showing the glittering necklace to him. He let out a loud breath and looked at me in amazement, his eyes shining with gorgeous stars. I gasped and leaned closer to him unconsciously. "I couldn't refuse it. Draco, it's beautiful. And the inscription-"

"Like I said, I got that before you left. It was to tell let you know that you were my queen." He swallowed and leaned into me, our lips mere inches apart. "That you would always be my queen, and I would always adore you like a king should. Hermione, I love you. I will always love you."

Tears spilled unknowingly from my eyes, and his soft thumbs wiped them away, my body shivering as his soft skin glided across mine. His lips parted, and he stood, towering over me as he cupped my cheeks. "Hermione-"

"Draco, I can't do this." I grabbed his wrists and threw them from my face, stepping backwards until my back collided with a desk. Tears fell like waterfalls from my eyes, and his eyes shook with unshed tears. "Draco, it's wrong. It's always been wrong, but we were both too naive, too caught up in our feelings to realize that it was wrong."

He stepped forward, but stepped back instantly and balled his hands into fists. "Was it really wrong, Hermione? I gave you excitement, confidence, happiness. You gave me solace, sanity, love. What is wrong about that?"

"You're a bloody Death Eater, Draco. I can't do that to Harry."

Draco sighed roughly and ran his hands through his hair. "So I'm a fucking Death Eater, Granger!" He rolled the left sleeve of his white shirt up and ripped off the bandage, and I sobbed in disgust as the Dark Mark glared menacingly at me. "This is what the fuck I have to be to keep my mother alive! I don't have a fucking choice! I am not you Granger! I don't get to decide what person I become! I have to be a Death Eater, or I die!"

I sobbed and clutched at my chest, crying harder as tears slid down his sunken cheeks. "Then let someone help you, Draco! Go to Dumbledore-"

He growled and threw his cauldron across the room, and I screamed as I collided loudly with the stone wall. "I can't do that, Granger! Damn you! I don't need his help! I don't need your help! I don't want it, and I don't bloody deserve it! Fuck you! Fuck you and your little groups of good lions! You think you can just tell me that I need help, that I should get some help, but you cannot help this!" He gestured to his Dark Mark. "This is what I have become! This is the shit that I have to deal with for the rest of my life!" He fell into his chair, grasping his hair and pulling it, his voice cracking as he said softly, "I don't deserve help. I don't deserve you."

My eyes had opened to the torture that Draco was going through, the internal struggle that he had to deal with. I stepped towards him, resting my hands on gently on his head, but he jerked away and glared icily at me. I stepped back and stared at him, the stranger that I was in love with. "Don't touch me," he snarled at me, and I kept my mouth closed to keep the sob from escaping. "I don't deserve you, Granger. You're right. This was wrong. We were too blind to see that this wasn't going to last." He turned in his desk and stared straight ahead, wandlessly bringing his cauldron back to him and repairing it. "Just leave me, Granger. Forget me. Please."

I nodded mutely and wiped the tears from my face, stepping softly towards my seat and sitting down. A few minutes later, students starting pouring in, and I frowned as Blaise shot me a wink. He sat next to Draco, then looked back at me curiously until he noticed the sadness in my eyes and the tension in Draco's shoulders. Blaise sighed and shook his head, patting Draco on the shoulder until Draco shook him off and hid his face in his hands.

Forget me.

I could never forget him now. Not now that I had seen the angst in him. Not now that I had seen the deep sadness and despair in him. I slapped myself mentally, angry at myself for walking out on Draco that night. How could I be so quick to judge him when I didn't even know the full story? How could I leave him, knowing how deep my love for the boy ran? I looked longingly at him, apologies clouding my mind as he slumped in his seat, rolling his sleeve down hastily before someone saw the mark. I wanted to cry again, wanted to wrap myself around him and apologize for how I treated him that night. I was supposed to be the sensible one, the one who takes all perspectives into mind before making a decision. How could I just decide to hate him when I didn't put myself in his shoes to see how he was feeling? How could I not think that being a young Death Eater was horrible?

Even as I thought of apologizing, I shook my head and frowned. I was sorry for not thinking about this situation, sorry for acting irrationally before talking it out, but I was not sorry for breaking off our affair. We were in too deep, too in love, and we would never be together. The fact remained that he was a Death Eater, and I was on the opposite side. I was supposed to fight Death Eaters, and they were supposed to fight my side. We were on opposite sides of the war. We had grown up in different households, grew up with different lives. We were always on opposite sides, and we would never be together. We would betray the people we loved. He'd betray his mother if he was with me, and I'd betray my friends, my family, and the Order if I was with him. We were destined to be apart, destined to be separated from each other. Something was going to come between us, and it happened to be the most horrible thing. He was a Death Eater, a follower of Voldemort. I couldn't bring myself to consort with the enemy.

But what if he got help? I scoffed to myself. That still wouldn't be an excuse for us. He didn't want help. He felt like he didn't deserve it, but how could he say that when it seemed like he was forced into this lifestyle? He deserved help. He deserved someone to care for him and support him as he struggled with the hate he had for himself. Even though the mark was forced him, he wasn't a bad person. I knew personally that Draco Malfoy was a good guy, a sweet and caring man, a protective man, a loving man. He worth much more than the evil mark branded on his forearm, and I just wish that he knew that. He deserved way more than he thought.

He did deserve me, and I wanted him to have me.

He just couldn't. It was forbidden. It wasn't right for us to have each other.

A tear fell from my eye, and I hastily wiped it away as Ron and Harry walked in at the last minute, the bell ringing and Slughorn bounding in with a joyful smile on his face.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Harry asked with concern, and I smiled genuinely at my best friend. I couldn't be with Draco because of Harry. I couldn't betray my best friend. I was fighting for the good of the wizarding world, fighting with Harry for a better life to live. Draco was fighting against that, whether he chose to fight against it or not. The point was that he was on the opposite team, and I would never betray my teammates, especially not Harry Potter, the captain.

"I'm fine Harry," I said, and I kissed him on the cheek. He looked at me curiously, but gave me a shy smile and a nudge to the shoulder.

"Oi, Hermione," Ron piped in, his blue eyes glittering with joy. I beamed at him, trying to force the guilt out of my soul. Ron was my best friend. No matter how many fights and arguments we had, he was my brother. I hated that I betrayed him too, that I fell in love with someone who bullied Ron every single day and night. How could I forget all of the times Ron cursed Draco for all of the rude words he said? How could I smile at Draco and ignore all of the angry frowns he forced on Ron's face? Ron didn't deserve that treatment; no one did.

And how could I forget that, six years ago- even one year ago- Draco would've loved to be a Death Eater and torture a Mudblood?

Specifically, the Mudblood Queen: me.

"What is it, Ron?" I asked him, eager to feel his joy spread to me.

He dug into his bag and dropped a piece of parchment in front of me. "I found that paper I was looking for. The one that's for you."

I looked at it to see that it was my DADA homework that I let Ron and Harry "borrow". I didn't even know that he had misplaced it. "Thanks, Ron. I found that other paper you wanted to give me, too."

His brow furrowed. "What paper?"

"Weren't you looking for another one?" I pulled out the letter, my name drawled elegantly on the front.

Ron frowned and said, "No, I don't know what that is. Hermione, I had lost your DADA homework. Then, I found it under Harry's bed. That's the paper I was looking for to give you. I'm not sure where that letter came from."

My eyes widened, and I stared incredulously at Blaise Zabini. As if he felt eyes on him, he looked at me curiously until he spotted the letter in my hand. He smirked at me and winked, nodding his head at Draco before facing Slughorn.

"What the bloody hell?" I muttered to myself, and I shoved the paper back into my pocket. It burned like fire against my side. Hermione. Why, why was I so stupid when it came to Draco Sodding Malfoy? There's no way that Ron could write my name that elegantly, that perfectly. Ron didn't even write letters! And how would Ron even have a letter addressed to me? If Ron had had that letter, he would've opened it and read it before it got to me. Ron was just that nosy and protective over me. But when my head was filled with Draco Malfoy, every strand of common sense that I had flew out the window. If someone had told me that they saw Dumbledore flying on a pig, I would've believed it because I was so focused on my thoughts of Draco.

Well fuck him.

Fuck him and this damn letter that he gave me. He didn't want me. He didn't deserve me, like he said. He put me through Hell, making me fall in love with him only to tear himself away from me by revealing his mark. He put me through Hell, making me betray my friends and feel guilty for consorting with the enemy. As Slughorn lectured, and I answered his questions correctly and boldly, I forced all thoughts of Draco Malfoy out of my head. The letter weighed heavily in my pocket, the necklace anchoring itself to me, but I ignored the feeling. If Draco felt like he didn't deserve me, that he didn't deserve help, than maybe he didn't. If he felt like he should be alone, then maybe he should. I didn't have the strength to pull him out of his self-pity hole. Let him stay there and rot. I couldn't be with him anyway. My loyalty to the Light, to Harry Potter and the Order, was much more important than loving Draco. It was stronger than loving Draco Malfoy, and I needed to pour my strength into fighting Draco's kind.

After all, he would have no problem fighting my kind. He hated us anyway.

*Later, at ten o'clock at night*

I let the tears fall as I quickly ran to the Room of Requirement. My footsteps were light as I ran to the fifth floor, spotting my target as he paced in front of the wall three times. He ran faster, and I he glared into my direction before looking at me in surprise.

I love you so much. I need you more than I need my own life.

"Granger-"

I ran into him, grabbed his face, and kissed him with so much ferocity that he stumbled back into the wall, his hands grabbing my hips roughly as I stuck my tongue into his mouth. He groaned and clutched me to his chest, his tongue plunging into my mouth, and I moaned hungrily into the snog. He pulled his head away, breaking our kiss, and our breathing was ragged.

"Hermione, what-"

"I need you too," I muttered, tears falling down my eyes. His eyes softened on me, and he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"You read it."

I nodded. "In Potions, I told myself that I wouldn't read it. I told myself that if you thought you shouldn't have me, then maybe you didn't really deserve me. I was so mad at you, mad because you felt like you had no goodness, mad because you wouldn't get help, mad because you were willing to push me away. I was just exhausted and guilty. I'm in love with my best friends' enemy, for Merlin's sake! You're my enemy now too, just because of the mark. I felt like we should just stop this, stop seeing each other. The guilty and frustration wasn't worth it. I went through the whole day with your damn letter in my pocket, and I was just so curious. I was determined to not let the words in the letter change my mind about you, but it did. Oh Draco, I should've tried to listen to you, to talk to you! I shouldn't have left you like that! I should-"

He pressed his finger on my lips and gave me a small smile. "I understand why you did. It was a shock, Hermione. It was a surprise that you didn't know the pain I went through."

I cried every single day, Draco. I missed you so much, but you're a Death Eater. I know now that you were forced, but that doesn't change what you are."

He stared at me warily, his fingers digging into my hips. "What are you saying then?" he asked roughly.

I caressed his cheeks, frowning at the tiredness in his eyes. He was tired of this, tired of being a Death Eater, tired of me fighting my love for him, tired of worrying about his mother. Everything, everything was in that letter, and I was overwhelmed with how honest he had been. If I had never left him, he would've told me all of that to my face. He wouldn't have had to write a letter, having just a little bit of hope that I would read it. Thank Merlin he had that hope. We wouldn't be standing here, embracing each other if he had given up all hope. That was just another quality of Draco that showed how he was a good guy. He had hope.

"I'm saying that I love you, and I can't imagine being without you. I'm saying that I hate having to betray my friends, but I need you more than my next breath. I need you in my life, Draco. I'll follow you to the end, if that's what I have to do."

"Hermione." He grasped my head and kissed me roughly, his lips dancing smoothly with mine. He walked us back into a wooden door, and he hastily opened it, pulling me inside without ever disconnecting our passionate kiss. Our tongues danced together in a beautiful dance, a dance filled with memory and familiarity. He broke our kiss to pull our shirts over our heads, and my lips were back on his. He raked my nails down his chest, tugging hard on his nipples, and he groaned desperately, shoving his groin into mine. Goosebumps broke on my skin, but my body heated up to bowling point. I pushed my pelvis back into his, and he roughly grabbed my butt, grinding our intimate parts together until I was gasping and whimpering with pleasure. His lips sucked on the side of my neck, and I squealed as he bit it and licked the bite. He trailed open-mouth kisses to my throat, suckling and biting, leaving red marks all over my skin. I was moaning, shuddering in his arms. He unclasped my satin bra with one hand, tugging off to see my heaving breasts.

"Hermione," he groaned huskily, his hands flexing on the globes of flesh. I moaned and arched my breasts into his palms, shivering as he tugged and palmed my hardened nipples. "You've grown." Have I? Another symptom of-

I cried out as his hot tongue licked my right nipple, and my hands roughly fisted his hair and pulled him closer to my breasts. He chuckled and tugged my nipple into his hot mouth, and I groaned as he bit and sucked on my hardened bud. He trailed soft kisses to my other breast, doing the same thing with my other nipple, and my sex quivered, desperate for relief.

"Draco, please," I breathed out, my body grinding against his. His fingers trailed down my torso, and he jerked my skirt and panties down my legs in one smooth move. His fingers were inside of me in second, and I cried out as they pumped mercilessly into me.

"Draco!" I screamed, my legs shaking with effort to stand. I unbuckled his belt and tugged his trousers down his legs, breathing raggedly as I slid his silk boxers down to get to my goal. Draco hissed in my ear and bit my earlobe when my hands wrapped around his thick length, pumping him quickly and tickling his balls. He groaned as I rubbed my thumb over his tip, feeling the salty bead of arousal cling to my thumb. Draco's lips fell back onto my lips, and I moaned as his tongue plunged into my mouth at the same quick rhythm of his fingers.

"I love you, Hermione Granger," he whispered, his fingers slowing down their torture inside of me, his thumb rubbing gently over my clit.

I moaned and shuddered. "I love you too, Draco Malfoy. I love you so much."

"I'll never stop, Hermione. If you feel like my life is too much handle, and you decide to leave, I'll still never stop loving you."

"I'll never leave you again, Draco. I'll always come back to you anyway." He smiled and kissed me again, grabbing me and wrapping me legs around his waist. He carried me to the bed, his lips massaging mine, and laid me down gently. He stared lustfully at me, his plump lips curling into an adoring smile as he climbed over me, his naked body pressing down into mine.

"Do you love me that much?" he asked, caressing my face with his fingertips. "Did you love me enough to read the letter and come back to me?"

I smiled at him. "Draco, even if I hadn't read the letter, I think I would've come back to you. I love you too much to stay away. Sure, I was mad at the time, and I told you and myself that I hated you, that I did deserve better, but I don't. I deserve you, the good and the bad. There's no one in this world that can make me feel the way you make me feel. No one can get my blood boiling, can get me angry enough to slap them, get me excited enough to fuck them all over the castle. No one can love me like you do, have enough hope that I'd come back. Draco, I've never had someone care for me that much, love me so much that they feel like they'd die without me. I crave you. I need you as much as you need me. You've always been my happy place. When being the nerdy, bookworm Gryffindor got too much, I was able to come to you and be myself. I was able to be the bossy, prideful, conceited, passionate Hermione Granger that my friends don't know. They'd judge me, think I was crazy. But you? You don't judge me. You don't care how I am, you take me as I am. I've never had someone take my faults as well as my good traits. I've never had someone accept my imperfections. I love you for that. I love you for helping me build confidence in myself. I'm know now that I am truly beautiful. I know now that there is beauty on the outside of me, and that my beauty doesn't just lie in my brain. I am beautiful, and you're the only boy who's ever made me feel that way. So, I love you. There's no way to describe how much I love you, how much I care for you. I'd take every bad vein in you for the good ones. Just as you accepted me for my faults, I need to accept you for yours."

His eyes shined brightly on me, his lips parted to accommodate his irregular breathing. He groaned, and in one swift movement, he was buried deep inside of me. I screamed as he pushed to the hilt, my body on fire from his love.

"I memorized that letter," he groaned out huskily, his hips rocking slowly into me. I clasped my legs around his waist, my hands digging into his hair. He moaned as I tugged, and he thrust hard into me. "I rewrote it 140 times, trying to get it right. One wrong word, and you wouldn't come back to me. I had to have hope, Hermione. I had to believe that you'd come back to me. I love you so much."

I blinked the tears away, focused on feeling his hard length pump in and out of me a slow, love-making rhythm. I wanted him to move faster, harder, but I knew that he needed this. I would give him this. "I'm so glad you had hope. I love you."

He shook and kissed my temple, his hips rocking patiently into mine. "Dear Hermione, let me start by saying I love you. I will always love you, no matter how you feel about me. You could hate me and vow to kill me, and I'd still be completely and obsessively in love with you."

"Draco!" I cried out as his hips slammed into mine.

He growled and bit my throat, his hips thrusting harder, but still rotating slowly. "I remember when we first started this affair. I thought of you as nothing more than some Muggleborn for my sexual pleasure. I had no idea I'd crave your laughs, your smiles, your eyes, your heart. I love you so much. I need you more than I need my own life."

His voice was a soft whisper in my ear, increasing the goosebumps on my skin, increasing the swell of my heart as I loved him even more.

"That night you saw my mark, that horrible night you left me, you took my heart with you. You took my whole soul with you. I wanted you to stay, just stand by the door and listen to me so I could explain. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you for leaving like you did. I was at first, but I understood why you did. You're Hermione Granger, Muggleborn of the century, Harry Potter's secret weapon, Gryffindor Queen. I'm Draco Malfoy, one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, Harry Potter's enemy, the Slytherin King. I'm an elite, a Death Eater's child. I was going to be a Death Eater, whether it was now or when I turned thirty-six. You and I, we could never be, could we?"

Tears slid down my cheeks restlessly as he slowed his pace, bringing his length completely out of me before plunging in again. He kissed my tears away, and I smiled solemnly. We could be together, Draco. I was stupid to think we couldn't try. I was Hermione Granger. I loved challenges. I loved succeeding those challenges.

"I know why you left me, but you never let me explain why I have the Dark Mark, why I've branded myself as your enemy. I'm Lucius Malfoy's only son and heir. He's a Death Eater, so, by birth, I would become a Death Eater too. When Potter pushed the Dark Lord away the first time, my parents thought that I would never have to go through initiation, that I'd never have to become a Death Eater. They were wrong. When he came back, we all knew that I'd have to be initiated one day, but I never thought it would be while I was still at Hogwarts."

I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp as he thrust shallowly in me, as tears fell like rain from his gray storm clouds. He smiled warily at me, giving me a brief but sweet kiss. I didn't want him to recite this to me, but I knew it would help him. If listening was the only way I could help, then I'd gladly open my ears to his words.

"It was my father's fault, really. If he had never become a Death Eater back in his young years, I wouldn't be in the situation. He did, though, and now, I had to deal with the consequences of his bad choices. Then, last year when you and your little Gryffindor team put my father in Azkaban after defeating him in the Department of Mysteries, I knew I would be a Death Eater by the summer. Lucius had failed the Dark Lord, and the Dark Lord punished me and my mother. He cornered me into getting the mark. He told me that my father was a disappointment, and as a result, I needed to step up and be the man of the house, take my father's place to restore the Malfoy name in the Dark circle. I hesitated to answer, because I wanted to say no. I knew what would happen if I said no, but I wanted to disobey the Dark Lord. He caught my hesitation and cursed my mother on the spot. So, I said yes."

"Merlin, I'm so sorry," I cried for him. Even though I had read these words, it was more emotional to hear Draco's watery voice said the words. He kissed me again, giving me a sharp thrust with his member, and I squealed in delight. His slow thrusts, the hard slap of our pelvises against each other, the sweet kisses and solemn truth he spilled to me were putting me on the edge. I bit my lip, determined not to orgasm until he finished his story, until he could fully give himself to me.

"I had to say yes, Hermione. Please understand that. If I didn't, he'd kill my mother. If I don't complete his tasks, he's gonna' kill my mum. That's the one thing, besides you, that I need in my life. My mother is my world, my everything. You have my love Hermione, but my mother has all of me. She is a part of me just as I am a part of her. I needed her to live. I had to say yes. I didn't have a choice. Merlin, I didn't have a bloody choice. You and I, we grew up in two different circles. While you've always got to make your own decisions without any harsh consequences, I could not. Once, when I was seven, my father told me not to ride my broom around the manor. I chose to disobey him, I chose to say no to him. He responded by having a house-elf beat me, and then he took my mother on a two-week holiday in Italy. I cried each day and night that I couldn't see my mother. When they came back, I didn't leave her side for a month."

How could Lucius punish a child by taking away his happiness? It was true, Draco just couldn't make his own decisions. If he chose the wrong one, he was punished.

"I learned then that I had no choice in my decisions. That may be why I was such a horrible person to you. You've always been attractive, but you were inferior to me. So, I was angry for thinking you were even remotely pretty. I was angry because, as I grew up, you were forbidden. I didn't want you, not at those times of our younger years, but I was angry because even if I did, I couldn't have you. I'd be punished for liking you, for wanting you. The fact that I didn't even hav a choice to pick the girl I wanted to have a crush on pissed me off. Then, I became a Death Eater, and I had to grow up quickly. Then, you come along and lure me into your sexual trap. It wasn't supposed to turn into love. It was an obsession I had with you. I was obsessed with having something that I wasn't allowed to have, obsessed that you could make my nightmares run away, obsessed that when I was with you, I didn't see myself as a Death Eater. I was just Draco, and you were just Hermione. I craved for those moments. I live for those moments. I'd kill just to have those moments again."

I cried out, shaking with desperation as his thrusts started to pick up, as his hips slammed into mine quickly. His member thickened, and I raked my nails down his back to hear him curse and slam harder into me.

"I had dream, Hermione. I dreamed that you and I were married. We sat on the porch of this small, quaint house, because I know how much you hate massive mansions. There was this little girl running around, chasing small lion cubs and baby snakes. She had big gray eyes, light brown freckles, and chestnut curls. She was Aurora Malfoy, a product of you and me. I woke up from the dream, tears streaming down my face because that's what I wanted. That's the future that I need, even if I don't deserve it. Oh God, Hermione, if you were pregnant with my child, I'd get the help that you want me to get. I wouldn't put my child through the torture and pain I went through for sixteen years. I want her to have a better life, a better family, a better father. Oh God, Hermione-"

"Hermione, I love you so much!" he grunted with tears running down his face. He pulsed in me, his pelvis slamming ruthlessly into mine, and I sobbed his name, my entire body tingling and shaking as I came ferociously, my eyes open and wide, staring directly into his lust-filled ones. He grunted and growled, screaming my name as he threw his head back and released himself in me, coating my insides with his thick arousal. He continued to pump shallowly into me after he came, spreading hot and wet kisses all over my face, caressing me with his love.

"I hope that when you read this letter, you'll have a better understanding of my life. Maybe you'll understand the pressure that I'm under, and why I just couldn't give you to someone better than me. The truth is, there is no one better for you. I am what you need, just as you are what I need. I have a small sliver of hope that you'll read this and come back to me, come back and love me. I don't deserve you or your love, but I'll be damned if someone else gets what I need to live, what I need to breathe. When you read this, I just hope that you'll love me again. Even if you don't, even if you never love me again, I hope you can forgive me. If you can forgive me, maybe I can forgive myself. If you can move on, maybe I'll be able to redeem myself in the future. But I'll never forget you, Hermione. I'll never stop loving you. I'll redeem myself, and I'll be a better man, because you've taught me how important love is. You've shown me how important it is to have that feeling, even if it hurts sometimes. Hopefully, I can show my future wife the love that I've showed you, and maybe she can love as much as you loved me. I'll never deserve it, but I'll thank you for it. You showed me how to be loved, and how to love someone else. I am forever grateful to you, Hermione Granger. I am forever in your debt.

Love,

Draco."

End of Chapter Eleven.

I'm happy and grateful for the reviews, faves and follows. Without them, I'd probably have forgotten about the story.

But you guys keep me going!

Anyways, the summary of this chapter: Basically, they got back together. I know how much you guys wanted it, and I knew you guys wanted Hermione to read the letter. Ultimately, the letter is what brought them back together. So, in his chapter, Hermione realizes how much she loves Draco, and despite him being the enemy, she couldn't love anyone else. When Hermione is angry, she goes all cold-hearted and emotionless. Bu hey, she learned that he was a Death Eater. How could she just be like "Oh really? Well that's okay, it's not like I'm fighting against you."

No, that's not real.

She was angry, and she needed time to process the information. She needed to think about it, and then, she felt like she should just give up because Draco has so much self-loathing and self-pity for himself, he thinks he doesn't deserve or need any happiness or help. Thankfully, his hope to receive Hermione's love again encouraged her, and it influenced her own hope to keep her love for him alive. It's going to be hard to try and get Draco to realize that he's worth more than the Dark Mark on his arm, but do you guys think she can handle that challenge? Do you think he'll ever think better of himself?

Oh, and there is another little surprise coming for the couple. A surprise that will test the couple's love for one another, but will also test how they feel about themselves.

Stay tuned for Chapter 12.