A/N: So Bella finally contacts Edward! Have fun.
And thanks for the love on my lemon! I love everyone but cplust, cause she didn't review me. So now I'm mad. Hmmph. lol.
On to the story!
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It has been three weeks, six days, and fifteen hours since I received that email from Alice. Since I found out that I was right the entire time and that Edward really did love me. Since my world came to a grinding halt.
I have done absolutely nothing since that day. I go to work, come home, eat and sleep. There is nothing else. I'm actually ashamed of myself because of what a horrible recluse I've become. Alice has been over, Jasper, and even Rosalie. No one can break into my shell, because none of them are Edward.
So… I pick up my phone.
And I stare at it.
Then I dial Emmett's telephone number.
Hang up.
Try again.
Three different times.
I'm sure whoever is on the other end of the line wants to kill me at this point, but I can't bring myself to stay on the line past the first ring. I almost made the second ring the last time, but it's so hard. I don't even know if I forgive Edward, and I certainly don't know if I'm ready to see him.
But I try one last time, and this time, whoever is on the other end is ready for me, because the answer on the first ring. "BELLA MARIE CULLEN!" I hear Emmett's voice screaming at me, "IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT THE FUCK UP, I'M COMING OVER THERE AND STRANGLING YOU!" Actually, the threat makes me laugh. I'd like to see Emmett try and strangle me. I can whip that boy in an arm wrestling contest.
Course, I was quite a bit younger than, and I haven't exactly been lifting the weights too much these days, not like Emmett, who could probably lift an entire car at this point.
"Sorry, Em," I laugh into the phone, and then I hear him sigh, and I know something is up. "Emmett?" I ask into the receiver, cautiously.
"Bella, honey, he has to go. I love him, he's my brother, but you two need to make up or something cause fuck, he's got to go." Emmett sounds exhausted, and I'm not sure what has him that way. Edward can't possibly be that moody and emo, can he?
"Why? What could I do for him, Emmett? He can't move back in here. There's no fucking way," I say, almost snidely, the thought making me want to heave the casserole I choked down for supper. "I have no say in what Edward does and where Edward goes anymore."
Emmett chuckles humourlessly, "Believe me, no one knows that as well as I do. But that's not the reason I need him to leave." I'm curious at his, and I think I even make a huh? sound into the phone because Emmett's voice gets slightly lower and more secretive. "Rose is going stircrazy. I don't know why she can't even be in the same room as him for more than a half hour, but every time she sees him, she gets this weird look on her face."
Rosalie…? I think to myself, wondering what in the hell she would have to be weird around Edward for. I figured that she didn't even care about what he had done, she hadn't called me for the first couple of months we had been split up. Then I seen her while shopping one day and we caught up over lunch.
"What do you mean, weird?" I ask, slowly and deliberately. I feel as if there is something me and Emmett are both missing here, but neither of us can figure it out.
"Well…I don't know, Bells. She gets right cold and distant, refuses to talk. She never mentions Edward's name unless someone directly asks her a question. I can't understand it." I can practically see Em's face and I know that he's rolling his eyes at his fiancee's antics. "But he has to go, I can't fucking deal with it anymore."
Suddenly I hear a "Hey! Fuck off, man!" from Emmett and then Edward comes on the line, talking to Emmett behind him. "I'll get the fuck out of your hair soon, asshole. Jesus." He sounds angry and tired. A little slurred.
"Hello, Edward," I whisper into the mouthpiece, both offended that I apparently couldn't talk to his brother, and nervous as hell that I am finally talking to the person I called to talk to.
His voice hitches a little, and his slur is more pronounced now that he's speaking directly into the phone. "Hey, baby," he whispers back, and I cringe a little.
"Don't call me that." I don't mean to sound so rude and abrupt, but him calling me baby just stirs up too many memories.
"I'm sorry, bab-Bella," he sighs a little, and then I hear him shuffling. "Can we talk?"
*~*
Five years ago.
Bella stared down at the little stick wondering what in the fucking hell she was going to do. There was no way, they were only in their third year of college. Hell, she had only turned 20 years old a month ago. They could barely afford to pay their rent, gas, and groceries on top of internet and cable and phone. They even had to move to a different, even shittier apartment when it became too much at Big John's.
But she was staring straight at it, and that color was not changing.
It was times like these that she wished to God that Alice hadn't moved to California with Jasper. Fuck, she wished that they were all back in Forks so she had her best friend to turn too.
Sure, Rosalie was her best friend now, her only friend outside of Edward and Emmett. There was a couple of chicks that Bella had met through Rosalie, Jessica and Angela, but neither of them were all that invested in her life. This wasn't something she could turn to them with. Rosalie would help her, but she'd tell Emmett and he'd tell his brother. This wasn't something Bella could afford to have Edward hear from anyone but her.
Pink.
Fuck. Change.
But it didn't. She stared at it for ten minutes, and the little strip stayed pink. She reread the instructions twenty times, but each time it said 'Pink = Positive'. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "What the hell am I gonna tell, Edward?" she asked the air.
She heard the key in the lock and quickly stuffed the pregnancy test and the box in her purse before standing up and fixing herself up. It would be no good to be nervous or seem anxious around Edward. She'd head down to the walk-in clinic tomorrow and get them to do a real pregnancy test. She just had to keep her head together until then.
"Hey, baby," Edward said as she walked out of the bathroom. He leaned over and kissed her, lingering a little, and smiling against her lips. "God, I love that lip gloss. Never ever buy anything else."
Bella grinned, swiping a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She walked into the kitchen, pulling out pots. "How was work?" she called, grabbing stuff for stroganoff.
"Great, Tim came in late today, but we still managed to get everything accomplished. The Halloween displays look awesome, your photos really bring everything together." He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and nuzzling her neck.
Then he reached up and flicked the burner off, "Not hungry, Bellikins. Not for stroganoff, anyway." And then their lips met in a passionate kiss.
--
The next day, Bella was standing outside Seattle Grace Woman's Clinic and nervously wringing her hands. Deciding to just get it over with, she ducked inside, hoping against hope that no one had seen her.
She walked up to the desk, registered and sat down in the waiting room. Taking a look around, she noticed girls younger than her, clutching their swollen bellies and gabbing to their girlfriends, some carefree, some scared to death. She looked down at her own stomach and wondered, not for the first time, what the hell they'd do if she was pregnant.
"Isabella Swan."
Bella stood up and followed the nurse into the doctor's office. She gulped, looking at the stirrups and the medical equipment. She didn't even get yearly paps since she only slept with Edward, so who knows what was going on. But, Bella hoped to god the doctor didn't make her get one today. If there was one thing she hated, it was those damn things.
"Miss Swan?" came a voice behind her, making her jump a little. The doctor smiled apologetically and waved at her to sit down. "I'm Dr. James, the ob-gyn here." He was polite, and if Bella wasn't so nervous, she'd probably think he was smoking hot.
On second thought, if you want to go poking around up there, it's quite alright with me, Bella's dirty mind thought to her.
"Umm… hi," she replied, dumbly, sitting in the seat indicated. "I'm uh… well, I think I might be pregnant." Bella's face fell as she said the last words, and it was quite obvious to Dr. James that pregnant was definitely not what she wanted to be.
"Well, let's have a look at your file, then." He flipped open a file folder that had a few sheets attached to it. "Twenty-one, healthy, appendix out when you were fourteen." He nodded along with everything he said, and Bella almost giggled, it was that cute. "Your family doctor is Dr. Carlisle Cullen?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Yep, since I was twelve." Charlie had tried to make Bella go to some haggy old lady by the name of Dr. Shrembotter, something, to this day, Bella wasn't sure if it was pronounced 'Sh-rem-boat-er' or 'Shroom-botter'. She thought it might be the later, because that old lady sure as hell acted like she was on drugs. When Bella took a big enough fit, however, Charlie asked Carlisle if he could make an exception and take on another patient.
Dr. James smiled at her, "He was my mentor when I did my residency in Forks, fifteen years ago." Bella's eyes almost bugged out of their skull: this guy did not look at least 38 years old. "How's he doing?"
"Oh, great. He's doing the family practice thing now, and Esme owns her own bakery. I'm actually dating his son, Edward."
Dr. James laughed, "Ah yes, Emmie and Eddie, the goofball twins." Bella giggled at the nicknames. "Don't laugh, when they were 5 and 7 that's what we used to call them." She laughed one more time, before Dr. James handed her a cup and told her to pee in it.
While she was waiting for the test results, Bella flipped through a magazine. "Miss Swan?" Dr. James called, twenty minutes later, "Can you come back in the office for a second?"
Bella nodded and stood up, following him in. She sat back in the chair she was sitting in earlier, and waited for him to speak. "Miss Swan, I can assure you that you aren't pregnant." Bella's whole face dissolved in relief. "However," at this, Bella sat up straighter, looking confused, "I believe there might be a problem with your eggs. I can't be certain, but the tests indicate a trace of scar tissue. Have your menstruations been heavier than normal lately?"
Bella nodded, too dumbfounded to speak. She may not want kids now, but children were on the menu for Edward and Bella. They had already discussed it, right down until the last detail.
"I can't confirm or deny anything right now. You'll have to get some more tests down, and unfortunately, your insurance won't cover you to get them down here." She stared with wide eyes, tears leaking out the corners without her noticing. "However, in Forks, they have the same equipment, and if your family doctor performs the tests, they will be covered, or at least, mostly covered by the insurance plan you have." Bella agreed, not really looking at him. "I'm so very sorry, but like I said, Miss Swan, these are only speculations. Don't get scared yet, it may turn out to be nothing."
Bella thanked the doctor quickly, and left the clinic. Once out in the street, she collapsed on a bench and drew her knees up to her chest, crying. She kept repeating the same mantra over and over to herself:
"It's just speculation, it's just speculation, it's just speculation…"
*~*
I nod, though he can't see me through the phone, then clear my throat and answer him. "Why else do you think I called, Edward?"
Edward is silent for a few minutes, and I can hear his heavy breathing. I wonder how much he's had to drink tonight, and if he's getting to work okay every morning. Then I start to wonder if Kate is still his secretary, or if fired her and got a new one. Knowing him, he didn't.
"Bella… how are… uh, you and that guy-what was his name?-Joshua?" I can hear the strain in his voice, as if he'd rather talk about anything in this world but the current status of my love life. Part of me feels I'd be vindicated in answering that we were doing fabulously and I had just gotten back from a mini-vacation on his yacht. But that wouldn't help us move forward, and that's what the bigger part of me craves.
"I broke up with him, Edward." I stop short from telling him it was the same day. That I did it because I seen him again.
"Oh…" he sounds slightly happier at this, and I can't help but smile a little. So he really was jealous that day on the boardwalk.
Not knowing what else to say, I turn to the only thing we have left to talk about: our feelings. "Alice seen that email you sent Jasper. She showed it to me."
There, out in the open.
I can hear him curse on the other end of the line, and I chuckle slightly. So like him to curse out whoever he can get away with cursing. "Don't blame Jasper, you know how Alice is," I can't help but defend my favourite cousin-in-law's honour. After all, I feel that I deserved to see that email anyway.
"Whatever, I'm going to rip his balls off the next time I see him. He's already got 1 and almost 2, he doesn't really need them anymore."
I laugh, "Alice might have a different story to tell." The banter comes easily, and it's so nice to fall into old habits with Edward. As much as I've missed my husband, I think I've missed my best friend more. Everything used to be so easy between me and Edward, until I ruined it, and he ruined it further.
So I stop laughing, and sigh. "We need to talk about it, Edward. Seriously."
He exhales loudly, and I can see his head resting on the back of the chair he's sitting on. It's his classic this-is-so-much-harder-than-it-should-be pose whenever something in his life goes wrong.
After a minute or two of silence, he agrees. "But not on the phone. Meet me for lunch, in person."
I'm busy for the following couple of days, and besides, I need a few days to prepare myself for this, but I gulp and nod, forgetting momentarily that he can't see me. "Alright, lunch. Next Friday at noon sound okay?"
Edward agrees, suggesting the diner for our meeting. As we go to say our goodbyes, Edward breaths low into the phone, and his words almost bring a tear to my eye:
"I miss you so much, Bellikins."
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A/N: So what did you think?
Preview for tomorrow: Lunch with Edward! hahah. How'd you already guess that? :P
Leave me some love! Especially you, Miss Too High and Mighty to Review My Story. See if I ever talk to you again. *tear* (Technically I'm talking to her as I post this :P)