Chapter 11

Fours lips fit with mine in a way I didn't know was possible. Everything about it felt right, felt… perfect. It was as if this moment was playing out exactly how the universe planned it, no hiccups or wrong turns. It was simply meant to happen.

I brought my good hand to his neck, trying vainly to get as close to him as possible. Fours hands stayed firmly on my waist, as if he was worried that he moved them anywhere else that it would hurt me. It was sweet, I suppose, but I wished that he would allow them to roam.

We only parted when the both us needed air. His forehead was resting against mine, and I could tell that his chest was heaving slightly, like he had just run a race and couldn't catch his breath.

"Call me Tobias," he whispered after a moment.

"Tobias," I whispered back, testing it out. A vague memory of Christina introducing him by that name when they first visited me in the hospital came to mind. I had almost completely forgotten about it since absolutely no one actually called him that. It was Four, the tough sports guy who didn't put up with anyone's bullshit.

"Only when we're alone though," he added quickly. "Everyone already knows my name, but I only want to hear it when I'm with you."

I pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. "Okay."

Tobias gazed back at me and brought a hand up to cup my cheek. His thumb lightly grazed the soft skin as his eyes flicked down to my lips.

"I should go," he murmured.

A fire ignited in my stomach as I registered his words.

"No!" I nearly yelled, startling myself by the ferocity of my tone. Closing my eyes briefly to collect myself, I continued. "You are not going back to that house. Not tonight. You can stay here."

Tobias looked hesitant as his gaze wandered around the room. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said adamantly. "Absolutely. I'm not letting you put yourself into a dangerous situation. My bed is plenty big enough to fit two people."

A smile played on his lips and Tobias pressed a quick peck onto my own. "I'll sleep on the floor, Tris. You don't have to give up half of your bed."

"Tobias, you don't ha-"

"I'll sleep on the floor." He repeated.

I relented and set about grabbing extra blankets and pillows to try and make his stay as comfortable as possible. Once I was satisfied, I grabbed my phone and changed my morning alarm so that it would go off a little earlier, so I'd have time to sneak Tobias out in the morning.

"I'd offer you some different clothes to sleep in, but obviously they wouldn't fit you," I said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"That's okay," Tobias replied, the side of his mouth quirking up in a half smile. "I prefer no clothes when I sleep anyway."

I almost choked at his statement. Tobias ignored my sputtering but kept eye contact with me while he took his shirt off. My head tilted to the side slightly as I took in his half nude body. I knew my staring was obvious, but I didn't really care in that moment. Tobias chuckled, and I snapped my eyes back up to his.

"Goodnight Tris," he mumbled, pressing a light kiss to my cheek. Before he got to comfortable, I reached out and pulled him back to me, giving him a proper goodnight kiss. Finally, I let him go and he settled in to his makeshift bed.

"Goodnight Tobias."

-break-

In the morning, once my alarm went off, I swung my legs of the bed to walk over to the bathroom and promptly tripped. A strong arm reached around my waist and kept me from falling down completely.

Right. Four – Tobias – was here.

"I don't think you need to be taking anymore falls, Tris," his voice mumbled, heavy with sleep.

"Well, you're here to catch me, so I'm not too concerned," I murmured back.

Tobias just grunted, finally releasing my waist to rub his hands over his face, vainly trying to wake himself up more. He sat up and looked over at me, giving me a half smile.

"Oh, Tobias," I whispered, tentatively reaching out to light brush his cheek with my fingertips. His eye was a solid, purple-blue color and there was semi-dried blood leaking out from under the bandage above his eyebrow. There were a variety of light bruises peppering his chin as well.

"I'll just tell everyone I got jumped in a parking lot or something," Tobias shrugged, almost nonchalantly, pulling away from my touch. I couldn't help but be unnerved by how casual he was suddenly acting about the situation. Last night he had been a completely different person. Sad, lost, confused, almost childlike. But in the morning, he turned back to his old self. Cold, hard, callous, just about unfeeling. It didn't sit well with me.

"I'll clean you up again and then you'll have to sneak out the window. Natalie can't find you here." I told him, abruptly standing and turning away from him so that he couldn't see the flush on my cheeks as I struggled to hold back my emotions. If he was going to act like nothing happened, maybe I should too.

I grabbed the first aid kit that I had left discarded on my desk, took one deep breath in for composure, and turned back towards the boy who had spent the night on my floor. His eyes were watching me curiously, trying to get me to meet his gaze. I refused, and instead started pulling the bandage off of his forehead. Tobias hissed as the adhesive clung to his skin, and again as I wiped at the wound with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball. I rebandaged the cut and turned to put the first aid kit away.

"Nothing I can do about the bruises," I said bluntly. "Christina could, but she wouldn't be able to shut up about the fact that you spent the night here." I glanced down at my watch quickly. "As a matter of fact, she's probably going to be here soon to force me into an outfit of her choosing, so you better get going."

I turned to find him shrugging on his jacket, still watching me. Averting my eyes, I instead busied myself with picking up the blankets and pillows on the ground and folded them before shoving them back in my closet.

"Tris," Tobias said softly.

I finally looked him in the eyes. "I'll see you at school," I replied simply, then pressed a quick kiss on his cheek before walking out of my room.

-break-

Christina had sensed that something was a little off this morning when she arrived at my house, but for once in her life she didn't push it. I'm not sure what exactly kept her from her usual pestering, but I was extremely thankful for whatever it was. She dressed me up in some simple skinny jeans, and striped t-shirt, and a pair of converse, and we then headed out.

"Is everything okay, Tris?" Christina asked tentatively. She wasn't being nosey, but genuinely concerned.

I looked out the window, briefly losing myself in the blurred landscape. "I will be."

The rest of the ride was filled with silence. I had no interest in speaking, and I think Christina was unsure of whether she should get me to speak. When we pulled up to the school parking lot, I hopped out of the car without a word and headed towards the school.

Christina hustled to catch up; I could hear her begging me to slow down.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked when she finally fell in step with me.

"Everything's fine, Christina. You don't need to worry about me," I replied impatiently. Just then I saw Tobias standing near his locker. He had a bunch of guys surrounding them, and I could hear their excited questions about whether he was able to retaliate against his "mugger."

His eyes flicked up and met mine. He seemed conflicted, like he couldn't decide whether or not he should stay and continue to fabricate his story or forget about his friends and walk over by me instead. I saw him take a small step forward, but I just turned my gaze ahead and kept walking.

"What was that about?" Christina asked, causing me to jump. It had slipped my mind that she was still walking beside me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said without looking at my friend.

"Yesterday you were practically all over each and today you're giving him the cold shoulder. Something happened."

"I didn't give him anything, stop worrying about it, okay?" I snapped.

Christina put her hands up in surrender, not saying any more. She turned down the hallway to go to her own locker and I let out a sigh of relief when I was finally alone. My relief ran out however, when I remembered that Tobias was the only one of my friends in my APUSH class. I felt a scowl form on my face as I all but slammed my locker door shut.

My normal seat did not look appealing in that moment, but I knew that I couldn't just steal someone else's. I sat down, flipped open my notebook, and decided to get a head start on copying down the notes Mr. Kang had written on the board. When Tobias settles in to the desk next to me, I don't look up. It's only us two in the room, since the bell wouldn't ring for another six or so minutes.

"Tris," he muttered quietly.

I raised an eyebrow to let him know I was listening.

"What's wrong?"

Keeping my eyes fixed on the notes I was jotting down, I replied, "Nothing's wrong. Everything is just fine."

"You're lying," Tobias tutted.

Finally, I looked up. "Well so are you."

In the brief moment we held eye contact, I saw a fire light up in his blue orbs. I knew what I said wasn't fair; he couldn't exactly tell everyone the truth about his bruises. However, he was lying to himself, acting like the situation wasn't a big deal. But I saw how it affected him the previous night. He was terrified, on the verge of losing control. Tobias just didn't want everyone to know that his armor was cracked.

I sighed, feeling like I couldn't leave the conversation at that. Without looking at him I quietly added, "You don't have to pretend with me. I'm not everyone else. I can see right through your walls."

I could feel his eyes burning into me, but if he had planned on saying something, he never got the chance; our classmates were starting to file into the classroom.

The class dragged by as I tried to keep my eyes on the teacher instead of the boy next to me. When the bell finally rang, I practically ran towards the door. There was no way I'd be able to focus on anything for the rest of the day if Tobias tried to hash things out during the two-minute walk to English. Christina was already in the classroom when I arrived, and I saw her eyes narrow when she realized that I was alone. Just ignoring her questioning eyes, I took my seat and tried to slyly keep an eye on the door.

Tobias never came.

I tried to keep my mind from racing throughout class. Tobias had been here, and now he was just gone. Did he just decide to skip this class? Did he go home? Did his father call and tell him to leave? What could have possibly led him to just not show up to class?

I decided to wait and see if he showed up to gym class, and if he didn't, I'd send him a text to see where he went. As I had figured, he didn't show up. When everyone was changed and out of the locker room, I hurriedly took out my phone.

Where did you go? Is everything okay?

After I sent the text, I shoved my phone in my bag and ran out to the gym, so I wouldn't be marked as tardy. I had started physical therapy for my shoulder a few days, so I was allowed to do some light activity as long as it wasn't too strenuous. Once I got out there, Christina approached me immediately.

"Do you know where Four went?"

I shook my head.

"What happened between you two?" Christina pushed.

"Nothing happened, Christina. I already told you that," I replied irritably. "Maybe he wasn't feeling well or something and just went home sick."

Christina scoffed. "Tris, I'm not blind. Yesterday you two were all blushy and cute, and now you're upset and standoffish and have been acting like he's the last person you want to be around. Oh, and he just so happens to have been in some kind of altercation as of last night. Something happened."

"Are you trying to insinuate that I gave him those bruises?" I demanded, really starting to get pissed off.

"No. You probably would have broken your hand if you tried to punch Four in the face. I'm just saying that I think you know more than you're letting on."

"Even if I did know something," I said, struggling to keep my voice even, "It wouldn't be my story to tell."

"Ever since the two of you have started to get close you've been more distant and secretive. You're a private person, but this isn't like you. I know he's insanely hot and all, but the Tris I knew wouldn't let a guy change who she is."

"In case you've forgotten, but the Tris you knew lost all her memories," I retorted. "I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I don't have answers for you, Christina, and I know how badly you want them. If I had something I could tell you, I would. But I don't, so I can't."

Christina just set her jaw and turned to walk back towards our friends. The rest of the class passed by awkwardly. Christina was still irritated with me, so she wasn't really talking. The rest of the group could sense the tension, and they also kept asking me if I knew what was up with Four. Like I had with Christina, I adamantly denied having any knowledge about where he had gone. Technically, I wasn't lying to them. I had no idea where Four had went. I just was withholding a lot of information about the whole story.

After class had finished, I fished out my phone to see if Tobias had texted me back. He hadn't. A pattern had begun to form. I would go to class, anxiously wait for a moment to check my phone, then be disappointed when I realized there wasn't a new message from Tobias. By the time I walked out of my final class, I was about to go crazy.

Despite still being frosty with me, Christina still showed up at my locker to give me a ride home. Feeling that I owed her at least a little bit of information, I told her, "I sent Four a text asking where he was. He never responded."

Christina just hummed a little, but I could tell that me revealing this had pleased her. When she dropped me off, we exchanged goodbyes and promises to see each other in the morning. Almost immediately after I had gotten out of the car, rain started to down pour. I hurried inside and immediately went upstairs to change out of my now damp clothes.

About an hour later, as I was sat in my bed, working on the little homework that I had, I heard a loud pounding on the door. Being the only one home, I hurried down the stairs to answer it. When I opened the door, standing outside on my porch in the pouring rain was Tobias.

"Tobias, what the hell are you doing here?" I demanded as I grabbed his arm and yanked him inside.

The boy was shaking and absolutely drenched. Seeing that I wasn't getting any response, I dragged him to the upstairs bathroom and turned on the shower. Before I could leave so that he could get undressed, Tobias stepped into the shower still fully clothed.

This is exactly like something out of a dumb movie, I thought to myself.

Tobias just stood under the steady stream for a few minutes, completely silent. If this went on any longer, I was going to strangle him.

"I have walls," Tobias muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"I have walls. I never let anyone get past them. I never let anyone even get close enough to try. But then you show up in all your amnesiac glory and blow them up without even trying. I don't get it. We were never close before."

I pause a moment to see if he's going to continue speaking. When he stays silent, I try to respond,
"Tobias-"

"You can't just do that, just make me trust you with everything. But you did, and as much as I don't want to, I would trust you with absolutely everything."

"I'm confused," I said slowly. "Are you mad at me or not?"

Tobias shut the water off and turned to look at me. "Not at you, just at the fact that it took basically nothing for you to see the real me."

I grabbed a towel and handed it to him, even though it wouldn't do much to dry his soaked clothes.

"Is that such a bad thing?" I asked.

"No," Tobias stammered. "No, it's not."

He dropped the towel and pulled me in for a kiss.

I really didn't care that my clothes were getting all wet.