Lapses

Chapter 11: Hard Journey

"I'm sorry, sir, but are you telling us that you actually landed on your head?"

"Pretty much. It's a good thing we got that new shipment of cowls in."

"Indeed, sir," said Alfred fervently, remembering the helm that had shattered after he had swung at it with a simple baseball bat.

"But you know, I don't think they ever got the graphite mixture just right, because…

After a few minutes the Batman fought himself to consciousness, a struggle almost as exhausting as the one with Bane. Silence greeted him. He hoped it was just a lull and not something wrong with his ears. Dimly he knew that he could not stay there, that people were coming. That's right, he had notified the police. He needed to get out of there. He could not let Jim Gorden, or worse, some other cop find him like this. He didn't even bother trying to imagine the ramifications. He needed… he needed…Alfred. That's right, Alfred would help, make it right, make the pain go away. When was Alfred coming? Oh, yea… he needed to call Alfred. Slowly, excruciatingly, he brought his left arm up to his face, the right one would have been better because communications was in the right ear, but that arm didn't want to move, and he wasn't going to argue. Carefully he turned his head over so the right side now faced the sky. He taped an invisible button.

"…Alfred…" he struggled to whisper "Alfred… I need… I need… I'm at the –the old south district… I need… I need... Alfred?" Why wasn't he answering? Was there something wrong with Alfred? Had some one burned down the house? Focus. Clarity. No- no pain. The house was fine, Alfred was fine; the helm had not survived the impact, cracks spider-webbed up and down that whole side. That was why Alfred was not answering. There was nothing wrong with Alfred; there was something wrong with him.

Alfred could not help him. Who else was there? No one. Except… he carefully edged his hand so that he could reach under the gauntlet of his left hand. This of course meant that he would have to use his right side. There is no pain. There is no pain. There is no pa-… Got it. A new device cooked up by Alfred and Bruce on a few of those rare occasions when the Master was not needed elsewhere. He pressed the button and hoped it would work. A few minutes of silence, then a few more, then the comforting hum of the Tumbler, he still could not bring himself to call it the media dubbed 'bat mobile', rumbled up, stopping a couple yards from his own prone figure. Two yards had never seemed so long. He wondered what time in was. Probably late, I mean early. Dawn was probably coming. Alfred would be worried. He remembered a time, long ago, when he had gone on an adventure to fight evil and gotten himself terribly lost. In his own back yard. He had a big yard. It had gotten late and Alfred had gotten worried and come looking for him. So had his Mom and Dad, but, they wouldn't come looking for him ever agai- There is no pain. There is no pain. Focus. The point was that if he didn't get home then Alfred would worry, and that was bad. He began to pull himself towards the car. As he dragged himself into the cockpit he was struck by a thought. That time, long ago, he was scared of the night. Now he was scared of the day. That struck him as extremely funny. Not a good sign. He set the auto pilot for home.

A loud beeping brought him from semi-consciousness. There is no pain. He was sprawled in the front seat of the tumbler. There is no pain. It was traveling down a dirt road. No pain. A soft feminine voice was speaking:

"Prepare for ramp-less jump."

What? No pain. Right. The tumbler had almost gotten him home. The auto pilot could navigate the streets, reasonably, but could not make the jump needed to enter the cave. He had to be awake for that. No pain. He shifted him self into position and placed his hand on the throttle. No pain. He inanely hoped that the auto pilot had obeyed the rules of the road. He didn't want another lecture about thrill seeking from Alfred. Alfred. No pain. He needed to see Alfred. No pain. No pain. There is no pain.

"Now please," came the soft voice.

He throttled up and pushed the button. The tumbler careened out into open air. Then crashed down, jarring its passenger. There is no pain. He had to stop before he hit someone- something. He wasn't sure what stopped him: the break, or the wall. Probably both. He thought he would just sit here a bit.

An indeterminable amount of time later, Bruce opened his eyes. Pain. Bad idea. Where was Alfred? He should be here. He must know that Bruce had returned, he had installed that device to alert him of entry into the cave. He thought he was so sneaky and clever, but Bruce had known about it before Alfred finished making it. They didn't call him the world's greatest detective for nothing. But Alfred got a kick out of 'surprising' Bruce, and Bruce got a kick out of Alfred getting a kick, so he never let on he knew. But what all that meant was that… if Alfred wasn't in the cave, something was wrong. And it was up to Bruce to find out what. If he could get out of the car.

He released the roof. That was hard. And that was the easy part. Now he had to get to the intercom which was situated at the bottom of the stairs, over a dozen feet away. Step one: banish pain. There is no pain. That wasn't working. There is not much pain. Better. Step two: get out of the Car. Using mainly his left hand and mustering some strength to his feet, he managed to roll out of the car and onto the floor. There is no pain. No pain. No pain. Step three: call Alfred. Bruce began to pull himself across the floor. There is no pain, call Alfred. Soon the world narrowed to one intercom box and two thoughts. There is no pain. Call Alfred. There is no pain. Alfred. No pain. No pain. No pain! Alfred! He'd never know how far he got before his body betrayed him.

"I knew that I could not allow any criminals or even the police to find me that way, so I called the Tumbler, and set the auto pilot for home," finished Bruce and as far as he was concerned that was all Alfred needed to know.

"Master Bruce, do you know at which time you returned to the cave?"

"I- I'm sorry, Alfred," hesitated Bruce, "It's all rather confused." It had been four thirty.

"Really, Alfred, you must not beat yourself up over this," scolded Leslie, "You got there as fast as you could."

"Ah, yes, of course. I think I'll just go get a fresh pot of tea."

"Don't mind him, Brucie dear, you just gave him a rather bad scare, he'll be fine, we all will."

"I'm sure we will." He paused a wry smile pulling at the side of his mouth, "You know, its been a long time since anyone I can stand being around called me 'Brucie'."

"Oh, yes, sorry. I suppose it's just 'Master Bruce' now," she said, adopting a phony British accent "but I do suppose you are rather old for it."

"No. No, I like it. It reminds me of…," he trailed off "Well, you know…"

"That I do… Brucie."

A/N: Poor Alfred... Anyway this is still not the end. You can't get rid of me that easy. So please review (I luvs reviews ; ) ), and I'll try to post more soon!