Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay on the chapter. But it's up and long with a lemon for you so hopefully that will make up for it!
So first I want to congratulate my first beta Jaspered01, she had twins a few weeks ago so go her! Better her than me honestly! But I am happy for her. With that being said unfortunately being able to continue being my beta and caring for twins would prove to be difficult so I have a new beta, and she rocks also!
My new beta PAIGET is super cool and got this chapter to me super fast! So let's all thank her for helping me not look like a total fool when I post this!
Also disclaimer you all know I own nothing.
Oh and warning there is mention of abuse in this chapter and also some derogatory terms so if any of this offends you please move on. I don't want reviews about how insensitive I am, lol, you have been warned!
EdwardsPOV:
"Christ almighty…..keep your voice down damn it." I whisper yelled to the person currently trailing behind me as I tripped up the stairs nearly rolling back down them. I heard the snickering behind me and looked over my shoulder to see Felix laughing at me from behind his hand.
I couldn't help but smile at him. He really was kind of adorable and totally drunk, which worked well for my nefarious purposes. I just prayed that my parents stayed at the benefit late. It wouldn't do to have my father walk in on us. He would lose his shit.
My father, Liam Cullen, was old Irish money and was currently trying to get appointed to the Bench. He was one of the best defense attorneys in all of Chicago and very old fashioned in his thinking. My mother Maggie wasn't much better. They were blue blood through and through and had little to no tolerance for 'alternative' lifestyle choices.
Of course that wasn't my father's "official" stand on things; he had to appear unbiased in the public eye. That didn't mean that in our house talk about homosexuality wasn't instantly met with hostility and degrading slurs. I was locked away in a closest I no longer wanted to be in but had little choice in the matter at this point.
I had always known I was gay for the most part. When boys started talking about girls in the locker room in junior high I took more notice of the boys that were doing the talking. My parents and I never talked about sex or anything that went along with it. I do remember a few years ago hearing my dad go off on a rant the made me realize I would never be able to come out to them though. It was a few years ago, I was just starting high school, when one of the society families had a daughter that came out.
My parents ranted and raved for days on the subject. It was a huge deal in high society and turned into a big scandal making the Chicago Tribune society pages. Apparently the Hales were more supportive of their daughter than my parents thought they should be. It wasn't long after the 'scandal of the decade' as my mother called it, that the Hale's packed up and left to pursue 'new business ventures'. I felt jealous that they were willing to make sacrifices for their daughter's happiness that I was sure my parents would never make for mine.
The only person I knew who would sacrifice anything for me was my older brother, Carlisle. He and Rosalie had actually known each other. They went to the same high school and were in the same grade. He was currently studying pre-med at Northwestern University here in Chicago. He just started his junior year. He was a bit older than me, and I idolized him. He was caring and compassionate, for the most part.
One thing about Carlisle that most people never saw was that he had an explosive temper when pushed. I had personally never been on the receiving end of his fury and honestly had no desire to. I was never afraid of him, he was fiercely loyal and protective of those he loves and fortunately I was counted among those very few. I think it comes from being forced to bottle up his emotions for so much of his life.
I was brought out of my musing by a warm body covering me on the stairs and I snapped my head up to see Felix staring intently at me as he leaned over me.
"Where did you go? I thought you were going to have your way with me?" He asked huskily and I couldn't keep the cocky grin off my face.
"Sorry, just lost in thought for a moment." I leaned up and captured his lips with mine plundering his mouth with my tongue. Damn he tasted like peppermint and cream. Probably from the weird holiday drink he had had at the benefit. Yes we were underage but like that mattered when your parents were completely snookered. Holiday benefits were just an excuse for everyone to get shit faced under the pretense of helping those less fortunate and no one ever paid attention to us kids at those things. Most benefits kids didn't even attend but this one was a family affair.
"Let's go up to your room, you have some promises to keep." He got off me and tugged me up off the stairs.
"Oh, and what promises are those?" I asked playing ignorant.
"I seem to remember you saying you could make me scream your name without even touching my cock? Were you just blowing smoke or is this actually a skill you possess?" His eyes darkened at the thought and I grabbed his hand pulling him up the stairs to my room.
"Guess you'll just have to wait and find out." I pulled him into my room and slammed him against the door, which was difficult seeing as how he was about 3 inches taller than me. Felix was huge for his age; he was 17 and a year older than me. He clocked in at about 6' 4", and was built like a damn cage fighter. He was stacked and I knew the only reason he let me dominate him was because he knew I need to feel some control in something.
Renewing my attack on his mouth and trailing kisses over his jaw and down his neck. His hands found my hair yanking on it tightly causing me to moan. He threw his head back hitting the wood door hard as I moved my lips down over his clavicle and up to suck on his Adam's apple. There was something about an Adam's apple that just did it for me, I thought they were sexy as fuck.
"Oh God, Edward, more." I ran my hand down his chest to his khaki covered bulge. He was hard as a rock and panting with need, hell I was also. We had been teasing each other all night. So I finally gave myself over to the lust and let myself go pushing all thoughts of my family and drama to the side and just enjoyed the sensations flowing through my body.
I worked my hand back up and over his chest not currently having the patience to deal with buttons so I grabbed each side of his shirt and pulled hard effectively ripping it open and exposing his chiseled chest and torso for my viewing pleasure.
"Fuck, Edward, I love it when you go all animal!" He moaned out with a slight chuckle. I didn't answer verbally instead moved my mouth down his throat and used my tongue to trace the defined muscles of his chest. My tongue flicked out against his peaked nipple and I heard the thumb of his head hitting the door again.
"So good, please…more." He panted out as I continued my assault on his amazing chest. I moved lower trailing my wet tongue over his defined abs loving the way they twitched and flexed with the attention I was lavishing on them. My hand moved to his belt and made quick work of ridding him of the offensive khaki that covered my promise land.
I looked up and I sank to my knees and ran my tongue over the waist band of his tight black boxer briefs. The moan that followed was wanton and needy and I loved that I was able to do this to him. I quickly yanked down the briefs narrowly missing getting slapped in the face by his heavy cock being set free. He quickly stepped out of them and spread his legs a bit wider for me.
I leaned back on my heals taking a few minutes to admire his gloriousness. His dick was a thing of beauty in all honesty, it was long and thick the head flaring out just right glistening with pre-cum and begging for a taste. I was about to lean in to savor it when I remembered my promise to him and smiled up at him wickedly.
"I almost broke a promise, that's a shame cause I really wanted a taste. Oh well I will have to settle for something of a different flavor." With that I flicked my tongue out and lapped at each of his balls, giving them an obscene amount of attention. Felix's hands were almost painfully tight in my hair and his moans had turned into almost strangled sobs as he begged me to go to the one place that would relieve him of the tension I could see building.
I removed my mouth from his sac and stood up taking his hand and leading him over to the bed I pushed him down and pulled his legs so his ass was hanging over the edge giving me better access to what I wanted to do.
"Stay there, and don't move or even think about touching yourself." I commanded as I moved away from the bed and to my night stand picking out the lube and condom I would need when I was ready. I strode back over to where Felix was on display for me, popped the cap on the lube, and coated my fingers in the sticky substance. I reached my hand down again bypassing his twitching cock and balls altogether this time and going for the sweet spot just behind his sac.
I applied light pressure and watched in fascination as he arched completely off the bed and started whimpering. I moved my fingers slowly over his perineum and down over his entrance. I continued to tease him with my finger pressing against his opening but never actually penetrating it was a sweet and wondrous torture watching him come undone.
"God, Edward, please, please I can't take much more fuck me please." I may be a sick fuck but his begging was like music to my ears and I decided to have mercy on him and myself and finally allowed a finger to breech his tight hole. He let out a low hiss/moan as I slowly worked my finger in and out of him stretching him at the same time.
Carefully I continued to add digits, I may be a disconnected prick to most people but Felix is one of the few people that get to see the softer side.
"Shit, Felix, I can't wait to have my dick in you, always so tight." It always feels like the first time with him and I can't wait much longer.
I feel his muscles start to go slack around my fingers as he starts to rock his hips in time with my thrusts. I have purposely avoided hitting his sweet spot, he is so worked up it wouldn't take more than a couple of well place thrusts for him to be screaming.
"I'm ready, please for the love….ahhh, please now Edward." He pleads to me. I remove my fingers and grab the condom hissing as I roll it down my much neglected shaft thanking God that Felix is this worked up because I know once I enter him I will be about five seconds away from nirvana. I coat myself liberally with lube and my eyes roll back in my head from the friction I am finally getting.
"Shit, shit, fuck….so ready for, you're going to be screaming my name soon." I pump my cock a few times to make sure the lube is spread and move into place.
I stand on the side of the bed and position myself at his entrance grabbing his legs and pulling them up so they are propped on the side of the bed opening him up for better access. I lean in and capture his mouth with mine and slowly push my way into tight silky heat.
"Oh, mother of…..ugh….damn so tight." I pulled out slightly only to push back in going deep this time. Once I was fully encased in his warmth I paused to give us both time to adjust.
"Edward, oh…..yes….I love the way you fill me up." He pushed his hips down on me letting me know he was ok and that I could move again. I started to slowly pump myself in and out as his moans and groans got louder. His head thrashed from side to side.
"Felix, so good, ahhh….shit please tell me….fuck….your close?" I grunted between thrusts.
"So….close….need more, harder…..ED…..faster, something." I grabbed one of his legs and placed it over my shoulder and did the same with the other the new position causing me to go deeper and brush against his sweet spot.
"FUCK, FUCKIETY, FUCK, EDWARD!" He screamed and thrashed as each thrust rammed into his prostate. I could feel my own balls tighten as the burning in my stomach told me I was close.
"Shit, so…good…..come for me, NOW!" I commanded and thrust forward violently making sure to pound into his sweet spot causing him to scream as stream after stream of sticky white cum splattered on his chest and stomach.
"AHHHH, FUUUCKKKKK!" His head was thrown back and his muscles taut as he shuttered with the force of his orgasm. His tight cavern grew even tighter with the magnitude of his climax and clamped down on me like a vice sending me spiraling over the edge into near insanity.
"YES….SHIT….." That was all I could get out as I pulsed and twitched inside him as I filled the condom with my release.
After what felt like the longest orgasm ever I finally started to come down and collapsed on top of Felix utterly spent and softening inside him. His hands stroked up and down my back gently as my breathing returned to normal and I started to get my cognitive thinking back.
I pushed myself up and slid myself out of him causing him to groan and whimper.
"Shit sorry, was I too rough?" Damn I never wanted to hurt him.
"No Edward, just a little tender. I like it when you go all primal on me!" He chuckled as I pulled off the condom tied it up and tossed it in the trash next to the bed.
I move back to the bed and fall into it throwing my arm over my face. Felix moves and I feel him next to me but we make no move to cuddle or coddle each other. It's not our style.
Felix and I were not dating; he for all intents and purposes was actually straight (at least that's what he likes to think.) I tell him no straight man would love me shoving my dick in their ass the way he does. But it works for us both. No attachment, no commitment, just fucking. On occasion though I wish I could have more. Not with Felix, no there is no love there, only lust, but with someone that would accept and love me. At this point in my life I am not sure it's in the cards though.
"Well you kept your promise." I heard him say from next to me and I smirked but made no move to look at him. My thoughts now that I wasn't distracted were coming back full force.
"Hey man, what's your deal tonight?" I finally moved my arm and looked at Felix lying next to me confused.
"What do you mean?"
"You have been distracted all night, even when you were pounding into me you were somewhere else. Not that I'm offended or anything, just curious." I sighed and blew out a breath turning my head to look back at the ceiling.
"I don't know. Just a lot on my mind lately. Wondering if my life will always be like this. Hiding who I am to keep the rents happy even though I am miserable." I really hate being in the damned closet.
"Your parents are assholes just like mine. In two years you'll be 18 and can move out. Go to college, find your perfect man and live happily ever after." I snorted and laughed lightly.
"Not if I want them to pay for college. They could cut me off and then what the hell would I do?" Yeah I sounded like a spoiled snob but college was expensive. I was already having a hard time convincing my dad that Graphic Design was not a waste of time. He didn't understand my art or my desire to pursue a career in something that could use my talents.
"Oh, I don't know, you could get a job and student aid like every other red blooded college student out there." He was mocking me, I knew this and believe me I had actually considered it at one point. But without my dad's money I may have an issue getting into the school I wanted.
I wanted to attend The University of Washington badly. I know it was random wanting to move to the Pacific Northwest but I wanted to get away from my parents and all the high society shit and for some reason Seattle appealed to me. I would hate being so far away from Carlisle but we had talked about it and he told me if I went to Seattle he would try and find a position at a hospital out there once he graduated.
I smiled at the thought he really was the greatest big brother ever. I really should have told him about being gay ages ago. But it was honestly the one subject that I had no idea where he stood on. I could deal with my parents disowning me, it's not like they were mom and dad of the year anyway, but Carlisle hating me would absolutely break me.
"I thought about it and if something happens and I have to then I will. It would just be easier for them to foot the bill, it's the least they can do after all the shit they put us through." I rolled over and leaned into my nightstand pulling out a package of smokes lighting one up.
"I thought you quit?"
"I tried but it didn't take, obviously." I like Felix we were friends, with benefits, but sometimes I just wanted him to leave me in peace. Yes I can be a broody bastard but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't.
"I'm gonna head out. Wouldn't want mommy and daddy finding me here like this now would we?" I took a drag from my cigarette and watched in appreciation as he climbed over me and off the bed. He did have a fine ass, which I admired as he bent down to pickup his pants off the floor.
"So you want me to come over this weekend?" He asked as he pulled his pants over his hips and reached for his shirt.
"Not this weekend, Carlisle is coming home for the holidays and we are going to pretend to be a happy family." He chuckles and grabs his coat.
"Well you would be a happy family if you could just get rid of the parents." I nodded and sat up against the headboard smoking and watching Felix get his shoes on.
"Tell me about it, God life would be perfect if they would just disappear." Yes I know it sounds harsh but honestly I can't remember a time when my parents were ever there for me. Not as a child when I would do well in school would they offer praise, or when I was hurt would they offer comfort. Carlisle was the one who patched up my scrapes, and told me how proud he was of me. Sure he was only four years older than me, but that was just the way he was.
Felix leaned over the bed and pecked me on the lips scrunching his nose.
"I really hate the taste of those things." He said I got off the bed and pulled on my pajama pants as he turned to walk out the door. I leaned over and put out the cigarette so I could walk him out. He opened the door to my bed room and I froze instantly. Shit. This was not good.
"Edward you want to introduce me to your friend?" What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to be here yet. I was panicking and didn't know what to do. Thankfully Felix saved me by introducing himself.
"Hey, I'm Felix, a…..friend of Edwards." He stuck his hand out and my intruder grasped it firmly.
"Nice to meet you Felix, I'm Carlisle, Edwards's older brother." He released Felix's hand and looked over at me quirking his eyebrow. I eyed him wearily not sure what he was thinking. It was some weird silent standoff that no one seemed to want to break. The tension was thick before Carlisle sighed and stepped aside.
"Don't let me keep you." He said as he moved out of the way of the door. Felix told him it was nice to meet him and moved down the hall, as I went past him he grabbed my shoulder.
"Walk your….friend out, and then meet me in the game room. We need to talk." I nodded and made my way down the hall to the front door where Felix was getting his coat on.
"Shit, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was out there. I mean if I had known I would have snuck out the window like usual. I'm so sorry, he didn't seem mad though." He looked behind me and I turned to look at what he was seeing. Carlisle was just making his way down the stairs past the foyer on his way to the game room.
"No he didn't seem mad. But that doesn't mean anything. He is a master at hiding his emotions. A trait I wished I had learned." It was true Carlisle could be raging mad and be the calmest fucker in the world. It was kind of eerie at times. Not that he got mad often, but I have seen him take on this whole other voice and persona when he was angry. I really hoped I wasn't on the receiving end tonight.
"Alright, well if you need anything let me know. See you after the holidays." He made no move to kiss me again as he turned and made his way out the door. I just ran my hands through my hair, which I am sure, gave away the fact that I had just partaken in a thorough fucking, and turned to head to the game room.
Carlisle was sitting on the leather couch with a glass of what I assumed to be whiskey. He wasn't much of a drinker and usually didn't indulge due to not being of age yet. Yes he was only twenty and already a junior in college, can we say overachiever much?
"Edward, pour yourself something and come and sit with me, please." I didn't say anything as I made my way over to the bar and poured a tumbler of scotch for myself. I wasn't a huge fan of the stuff but I liked it better then the whiskey. With my drink in hand I went and sat on the opposite side of the couch and stared intently into the fire in front of me. I was not looking forward to this conversation.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Carlisle asked his voice sounding hurt and barely above a whisper. I looked over at him and he was staring down intently at his glass. I suddenly felt guilty for not being honest with him earlier, and for knowing that I would have kept it from him for, well probably ever. Maybe I can play it off.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat hoping he would let it go, but his exasperated sigh informed me that he wasn't going to.
"What do you take me for Edward?" He said in a sardonic voice that actually made me shiver. I looked up at him and what I saw made me cringe away, his eyes told the story his voice wouldn't portray, he was angry, not just angry he was livid.
"I'm…..I'm sorry, I can't help it….." I was cut off by the sound of glass shattering and saw Carlisle had thrown his tumbler into the hearth. The only sound was his deep irritated breathing and the hiss of the alcohol as it trickles down the fireplace walls and into the flames.
"Christ on a cracker Ed, I don't care if your gay. Fuck, you could tell me right now that you had a horse in your room you planned on fucking later and I wouldn't be upset. What pisses me off is that I had to find out like this. Why wouldn't you tell me?" He stood up and started pacing in front of the fire. I have never seen him this angry. I mean I know we both have some anger issues you know never really being taught as children how to handle emotions and shit and our go to instinct is to get pissed first. I was about to talk but his rant continued on.
"What would you have done if it had been dad there instead of me? What were you thinking bringing that into this house when you know their views on the topic? I don't know what he would have done to you if it had been one of them that caught you, how could you be so irresponsible? God Damn it!" His voice was rising slightly but still never quite reaching a full on yell, always the calm mother fucker even when roaring angry, never letting the façade slip.
"I'm sorry Car, I know I should have told you, but honestly I didn't know where you stood on the whole subject. It's the one thing we never really talked about ya know? I couldn't bear the thought of losing you; you're the only person in my life that really gets me." I look down at the floor feeling real guilty all of the sudden. I should have given him more credit from the start. I didn't even realize I was crying until I hear him cuss under his breath when he hears me sniffling.
"Damn it." He sighs and plops down next to me on the couch and puts an arm around me. He is the only one I have ever felt comfortable being this vulnerable with. No one has ever seen past the outer shell that I created. To everyone who 'knew' me I was confident, cocky, arrogant, and a bit of a prick. Only Car ever saw the true me and never so much as he was seeing right now. I was terrified, depressed, angry, heartbroken, and hiding. I longed more than anything for parents who would love and except me but knew they never would, and I was more hurt than I would ever tell anyone.
"Ple….please don't hate me." I manage to choke out hating that I am so emotional about this. He pulls me into a hug as I sob harder into his shoulder.
"Ed, I could never hate you." He sooths as he gently rubs my back. It's calming and reminds me of when I was a child and upset. He was always the one who comforted me. I should have had more faith in him and that just made the tears fall harder.
Nothing was said for a long while as he just comforted me and let me know he loved me and supported me no matter what. After what felt like an eternity I was finally able to pull myself together and pull out of his comforting embrace. He went back over to the bar and got a new tumbler filling it up before joining me on the couch again.
"So this Felix guy, is he your boyfriend?" Carlisle asked breaking the tension with his smirk.
"No, just a, well you know, friend with benefits sort of thing." I felt kind of dirty admitting that to him. Surely Car never did anything so untoward as to have a fuck buddy. I felt the need to try and justify it. "You know I can't really have a normal relationship, and Felix is 'straight' so he has just as much incentive to keep it quiet as I do and…" I was going to continue my rant but noticed him chuckling next to me and I lowered my eyes to my lap in shame.
"Ed, I understand, truly I do. What do you think Tanya is for?" My head snapped in his direction my confusion clearly on my face as he laughs harder. "What did you think I was a pure innocent virgin or something?" He asks incredulously.
"Well, I….no, but I thought you and Tanya were like a couple. Mom and dad think there are wedding bells in the near future. I think moms even gone so far as to book a reception hall for the summer after you graduate." I watched in amusement as he choked on the amber fluid that he had been drinking, I lightly patted him on the back and watched in bemusement as he tried to control himself. Once he was done wheezing and righted himself he looked at me with shear horror on his face.
"Are you serious?" I only nodded the affirmative as he stood and started pacing again mumbling to himself. "That's asinine, I have never even brought her home or in any way made it seem as though she was more to me than a quick tension releaser. I have no desire to marry at this point especially not a whinny socialite who wants to ride the coattails of whomever she marries. Damn it what have I gotten myself into?" He ran his hands through his hair in annoyance.
"Maybe you should have decided to dip your wick into someone who wasn't in the blue blood circle. I'm sure Tanya is the one who opened her mouth about it to someone. You know that while the Denali's are social elite they are lower on the rung then we are so she would see this as a chance to climb the ladder." I had to point this out to him. If there was one thing dad ever taught us it was when you needed to bust a nut, yes he said it just like that too; you never do it with someone in the same social circle as you.
I know I sound like a hypocrite, but my situation is a tad different. I figured if I went outside my social circle it would open me up to blackmail and all sorts of nasty little headaches. While staying within the inner circle, if you will, the person has just as much to lose as I do if it ever came to light. Made sense to me and at least Felix can't try and show up with some illegitimate child claiming it's mine like I am sure Tanya would do if she felt her status with Car was ever threatened.
"No, she wouldn't do that. I was straight with her from the get go that this was nothing more than a matter of convenience. Damn it this isn't good." He collapsed back on the couch holding his head in his hands pulling on his hair.
"Well then I don't know where mom would get the idea that you were dating if it didn't come from one of the Denali's letting it 'slip'." Carlisle growled lowly next to me and I looked at him in shock. Like I said he was a very even tempered man most of the time, but one thing he hated was users, and liars, both of which our parents were. I have no idea how he ended up as normal as he did with my parents trying so hard to get us to be mini versions of them, but I am glad he did.
"Well nothing I can do about it now. When I get back to school I will break it off with her and maybe just pay for my company in the future." I looked at him in shock. "What, it would be less messy." I thought about it for a minute before nodding in agreement. It would be less messy for him.
I know with his schedule he doesn't have time to deal with the mess of relationships and the drama that goes with them. Especially a high maintenance one like he would have if he decided to actually date Tanya. Society girls were so demanding and in all honesty quite annoying. Thank god the idea of actually being with a woman repulses me, because the options of suitable companionship around here were pretty slim.
"At least you found out about it before she could come up with some plan to trap you or something." I told him hoping to give a positive light to the situation.
"Yeah, you're right." We sat in silence for a while just enjoying the company of each other without the stress of pomp and circumstance that was sure to come in the following days.
"We should head to bed, you know keeping up appearances is exhausting and I have been pulling all nighters for weeks studying for finals." I glanced at my brother and noticed the dark circles under his eyes for the first time. He really did work too hard. He stood from the couch stretching his limbs as he did.
"Yeah, pretending to be upper crust Cleavers' really is draining." I snarked and pulled myself off the couch and followed him as he turned to leave the game room flipping switches as he went to shut off the fire place and lights.
We made our way upstairs, Carlisle and I shared the second floor, and I got to my door but turned to look down the hall before going in.
"Hey Car," I called out just before he disappeared into his room.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks, for you know everything." I looked down at the floor in embarrassment. I wasn't great with emotions.
"You're welcome Ed, I love you." Then he disappeared into his darkened room.
"I love you too." I whispered as I shut the door to my own sanctuary.
The next few days passed by with an annoying amount of normalcy. If we were any other family it would be wonderful but we weren't, and what was worse was the Chicago Times was doing a story on dad so they ended up spending all of Christmas morning with us. It was wonderful just close family and 10 strangers just poking around capturing the hypocrisy live and uncensored. I wanted to vomit.
The article that ran was a comparison piece on each of the candidates running for the bench again this year, and included everything from case histories to family dynamics. It was bullshit and Carlisle and I knew it. But we pretended anyway. I gave all the right answers when asked and smiled when told. Wasn't I a great child? Yeah I thought so too.
After the first of the year Carlisle left to go back to school with the promise from me that if I needed anything ever I would call him. He in return promised to cut ties with Tanya and find a more suitable companion to scratch the itch that sometimes demanded attention. I was worried about the fallout from the whole Tanya thing but he swore it would be fine. I just had to trust him and I was going to from now on.
Life fell back into the normal routine and I craved for something else but was honestly too chicken shit to go after it. So here I sit in my room waiting for Felix to come over and help me escape the monotony of life for a few hours. We were into our second semester of our junior year and I couldn't wait for it all to be over. I was starting to fill out college applications, mostly to appease the rents, the only one I really wanted to go to, had been sent in weeks ago. I took an early SAT test and did amazingly well so I was able to send off college applications fairly early.
I was just waiting to see if I got my early acceptance letter. I was nervous to say the least. I wonder what dad will say when he hears I don't want to go to Dartmouth or Yale but the University of Washington. I can already see the vein in his head throb in furry. I was brought out of my musings by my bedroom door flying open and Felix strolling in like he owned the place.
"Hey sweet cheeks, how's it hanging?" He smirked at me as he tossed his shirt to the side wasting no time.
"Why don't you come over here and find out exactly how it's hanging?" I snarked back to him winking. He stalked over to the bed and pushed me back and hovered over me. Now usually I like to be the dominate one in the bedroom but on occasion I like to give up control and have more then once bottomed and for some reason Felix always seemed to know when I needed to give up the control.
"You have had a rough few weeks." It wasn't a question he knew he saw me at school and saw the weight of everything I was hiding dragging me down. He was giving me a chance to let everything go for a few short hours.
He leaned in and kissed me gently allowing me to feel his acceptance and love. Yes love, not romantic love, but the love of friends who understand each other.
He slid his hands down my chest and to the hem of my shirt slowly lifting it over my head only breaking the kiss so he could pull it over my head. The second it was off his lips found mine again.
"Let me make it go away for awhile." He whispered in my ear and nibbled lightly and I nodded giving myself over to the feelings of his hands on me. Before I knew it I had been rid of my pants and boxers and was getting lost in the sensation of his fingers wrapped around my cock.
If I had been paying attention I might have notice the door opening and the form that stood in shock just inside, but I didn't at least until I heard the roar which quickly snapped me out of my lust induced haze.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" My father yelled and Felix stilled all movements. Before I could react Felix's weight was off me and I saw him slumped on the floor.
"Da….." I started,
"NO, YOU DON'T GET TO TALK!" He screamed at me getting in my face before turning to Felix, "You get the fuck out of my house you faggot!" He seethed as Felix scrambled to get his cloths together.
"Sir, I really think you should just calm down and we can….." Felix was trying to sooth my dad I could tell he was worried about leaving me like this but he was cut off before he could finish his thought.
"WE can what? Sit down and have a nice chat about you FUCKING my son! How about we invite your parents, you know the SENATOR over for tea and discuss how this will ruin any chance he has for re-election?" He looked at Felix with malice waiting for a response but he just kept his head down, not that I blamed him I would have done the same.
"No? I didn't think so. Get the fuck out of my house and if I ever see you here again not only will your parents find out but there will be a nice editorial in the paper the next day about family values and how the good Senator must be raising his family to have a cock sucker for a son." Felix paled and gulped not saying another word he grabbed his stuff and bolted for the door.
I looked at my father and was honestly terrified, I had always been a little scared of him, but right now I was damn near about to piss myself I was that petrified.
"Cover yourself you ungrateful little shit!" He spoke with an eerie calm as he threw a pair of pants at me. I moved to quickly put them on and scrambled off the bed to stand in front of my father.
"Dad please just listen….." I felt the sting before I even saw his hand move.
"You don't get to talk, you listen. I have done everything for you! I have clothed you, fed you, kept a roof over your head, sent you to the best schools, and this is what you do to repay me!" I could feel my own anger start to bubble to the surface and was getting ready to blow. "This is just a phase you, were just experimenting. You ARE NOT A FUCKING FAG!" He screamed in my face again and I lost it.
"YES I AM! I LOVE COCK! I LOVE HAVING IT IN MY ASS, IN MY MOUTH, I LOVE POUNDING INTO SOMEONES TIGHT ASS AND WATCHING THEM SUCK ME OFF! I FUCKING LOVE TO SWALLOW!" I screamed back and before I knew what was happening he was on top of me raining hits anywhere he could. I tried defending myself but the pain I was in was unbearable. I just curled myself up and prayed for it to stop.
"NO, NO SON OF MINE!" He continued the insults and assault on me my pleas and screams not deterring him in the slightest.
After what felt like an eternity I felt a final blow land hard to my head and was suddenly fading into darkness. I welcomed it.
I don't know how long I was out for when I finally started to come to but I could hear a soft mumbling coming from somewhere. I tried to hear what was being said and who was saying it.
"No, Maggie, we can't just ship him off to boarding school." That had to be my father.
"Liam, I don't feel comfortable just tossing him out into the world, he is our son." Hmm, guess mom did have a heart after all.
"He is no son of mine! As of now, I have one child, that thing in there is dead to me." Just like that I shattered again and started sobbing. It was worse than I ever thought it would be. Yes I thought they would be pissed, did I ever actually think they would disown me? No, I didn't.
"Get your ass up." My dad said as he came back into the room, lightly kicking my leg. I rolled over and groaned as every muscle in my body ached from the brutal beating I just took. "You have 3 hours to get your shit packed and get the fuck out of my house. Your mom convinced me to give you a thousand dollars and allowing you to take the Volvo. Consider yourself lucky I wanted to toss you out with nothing but the clothes on your back." With that he left not sparing a look at me when he got to the door he turned back to me, "Oh and don't even think about going to your brother. If you do I will cut him off also and do you think he can afford to finish med school while working and taking care of your fairy ass?" Fuck.
What the hell was I going to do? I pulled myself up from the floor when I notice a shadow in the door way and looked over to see my mom standing there with tears in her eyes. It looked like she was going to say something but just shook her head and walked out. Great just fucking great.
I can't go to Carlisle I refuse to jeopardize his education because I couldn't keep it in my pants. I had no real friends that would be able to take me in without causing even more issues. Granted he said I could take the Volvo but I technically only had a permit being only 16. I was supposed to be going to get my license in a few months and honestly a grand wasn't much these days.
I continued to think about what I could possibly do while I started tossing stuff into duffle bags. I had a stash of my own money tucked away around here somewhere but it wasn't much. I grabbed my laptop and my iPod and tossed them into a bag with my clothes. There wasn't much by way of personal items I was really interested in taking with me, I honestly wanted no memories of this place. I wanted to start fresh and that's what I was going to do.
As I was packing I realized I already knew where I wanted to go, sure maybe it was two years earlier than expected but I could get there get a job, find a place to stay or something. It would work, I would make it work. With my decision on my destination made I picked up my few bags and made my way downstairs.
Neither of my parents was in sight but I saw the wad of cash sitting on the foyer table. I took it pulled out my coat and walked out the front door leaving the cell phone on the table. I wanted a clean break with no ties to Chicago at all.
One last look at my childhood home I got in my car and took off ready to start the next chapter in my life. Free to be who I wanted without the social restraints and archaic traditions being thrust upon me. I was going to Washington and I was going to be me for once in my life.
Alright so this isn't exactly what I thought it would be. Driving by yourself halfway across the country is boring as hell!
Minnesota too much snow couldn't wait to get out of that state! Not that Illinois doesn't have a lot of snow but for Christ sake that was just ridiculous.
Iowa, ummm, moving right along.
South Dakota, I got excited when there was a bump in the road!
Wyoming, all I can say is thank God I was only in that state for a few hours.
Montana, let's stop and talk about Montana for a few shall we? Long as fuck state that took for damn ever to go through, but scenery was very nice and I don't mean the landscape. Can we say hello Cowboys! Hell yeah, Yee Haw! I may or may not have spent a few extra days in this particular state and I will tell you why, rodeos and a nice cowboy named Blake!
Once the rodeo moved on, taking the tight ass cowboy with him I moved on as well. I had been on the road for almost two weeks and my funds were dwindling fast. So I figured I better haul ass as quick as possible to get to my destination.
From Montana driving straight through I made it to Seattle in about 9 hours, yes I may have sped just a bit. Rolling into the city I was in awe of it. Yes I lived in Chicago and it was a great city but Seattle had an artistic quality to it that just spoke to me.
I loved the sculptures that were set at seemingly random places throughout the city, the sporadic parks that seemed to pop up in the middle of the concrete, and truly unique places like Broadway (no they don't put on plays there), and the theater district (where they do put on plays). It was the type of city that went from upscale classy to grungy goodness in the span of a few streets and I loved it instantly.
My only issue was at this point money. I only had about one-hundred and fifty dollars to my name left and knew I would need to find a job but I wasn't sure how that would work having no address and no legal guardians. I had my permit still so maybe I could just make it up.
I couldn't afford to stay in hotels anymore so I decided to just find a deserted parking lot and hanker down in my car until I could find a job and more stable accommodations. The lot I chose seemed fairly safe so I locked all my doors leaned my seat back and drifted off to sleep.
I was woken up several hours later with a tapping on my window and looked over to see the cop staring at me. Shit, not good. I sat up and rolled down my window to address the cop.
"Everything alright officer?" I asked trying to sound as innocent aa possible.
"I was going to ask you the same thing? Why you out here, it's not safe son." Damn it I had to come up with something good I couldn't afford to have him try and take my information or try to reach my parents. Thinking of family I was suddenly hit with inspiration.
"Yeah, I know, sorry about that. I was on my way to visit family and got tired so decided to pull off and sleep for a few hours, you know better safe than sorry." He looked at me skeptically for a minute.
"Why didn't you just pull into a rest area?" Damn didn't think of that.
"Well, I have heard some horror stories about people getting mugged at rest stops and decided it would be safer in a more populated area." I watched him for his reaction and he looked a little pensive.
"Alright, here's the deal, I am taking your plate number and am going to put it on the vehicles to watch for list. This is your one warning; if you are caught sleeping in the city again you will be taken in. So get to this family's place and stay safe please." With that he turned around and walked back to his cruiser. I wasted no time in starting up my car and getting out of dodge.
I was a little bummed only having spent a day in the city but didn't want to chance getting hauled in and ending up in the system or worse having them call my parents. I made my way out of the city before pulling off at a rest stop and let my thoughts get away with me.
At this rate I was never going to get into college, I had little to no money, no prospects of getting money, no home, no family, and no idea of where I was headed. Despair started to set in and I broke down. The excitement of the new adventure and getting free from the hypocrites was fading. I was turning into the scared teenage boy I tried so desperately not to be.
I allowed myself a bit to cry before pulling myself together. Feeling sorry wasn't going to get me money, a place to stay, or a job. I pulled out a map and searched the state for something that looked appealing. I just got to my state of choice I didn't feel like leaving it so soon.
Looking at it I noticed a name that actually made me laugh out loud. Forks, I liked forks, you eat with them and I like eating. It was a little jaunt to get to but something was telling me that was the place to go. Any town named after my favorite utensil is a win for me.
With a new sense of purpose I pulled out of the rest stop and made my way to Forks.
I had been in Forks for about 6 days and had yet to find work. I am officially out of money now and was getting a bit desperate. I had tried the coffee shop, the diner, a gas station, a sporting goods store, and a garage. Nothing, no one was hiring and the desperation was filling me again. I was going to have to start eating out of garbage cans if something didn't break soon. At least I felt safer sleeping in my car here then I did in Seattle.
I pulled into the park that I had been parking at since I got here after spending most of the day at the beach. I thought back to what I had seen today. There was a man and two teenagers out there, two boys. Both of them were attractive, honestly all three of them were attractive, but one of the boys stood out to me. He was tall and skinny, and had this wavy blond hair that fell into his eyes. He was too far away so I couldn't see what color his eyes were, but I imagined they were blue, the deepest blue of the sea he was bobbing up and down on his surf board.
I wanted to know him, they all looked happy joking and splashing each other between waves. Carefree and young, I envied that, craved it. I had never been able to just let go and be a kid like that. It was always the best private schools, the extracurricular activities that would look good on my college applications, volunteering, anything that made my family and parents look good. No relaxing down time for the Mason's.
I pulled my jacket around myself and laid my seat back, shutting my eyes as I welcomed the images of the blond boy bobbing on the ocean, the sun fading into the background creating a halo around his golden locks and making him look like an angel.
I woke with a start to a tapping on the driver's side window. I groaned as I looked out the window and saw the uniformed officer staring back at me. Why couldn't things just ever go how I wanted them to? All I wanted was a few hours of sleep before I tried to find a job again.
The cop knocked again and gestured for me to roll down my window. I sighed and looked around looking for an easy escape. I noticed his cruiser had blocked me in. Hmmm, looks like we got a smart cop on our hands. I resigned myself to having to actually talk to him and rolled my window down.
"You alright in there son?" The cop asked with concern. Something about his voice set me on edge and soothed me at the same time. I didn't like it.
"Yes sir, I'm fine. Just resting my eyes before moving on." I told him truthfully.
"Hmm, may I see your ID please?" Shit, why did he have to ask for that? Stupid little bored hick cop.
"Officer really if you just move your car I will be out of your town and on my way never to bother you again." I looked at him pleadingly he just shook his head.
Sighing I handed over my permit he took it looking at it a frown now firmly in place.
"Son, this is only a permit, do you actually have a license?" This was not good. I was going to have to be honest with him. Instead of speaking I just shook my head trying to avoid eye contact.
"Where are your parents son?" I felt the tears start to build at the concern in his voice, something I never heard in my own father's voice and I found myself wanting to tell him everything.
"They kicked me out." I told him sniffling a bit.
"I see, and why did they do that?" He sounded concerned for me but I wondered if he would feel the same way once he heard the reason. This was a small town and I wasn't overly confident in the open mindedness of the good officer here. But I figured I go for it anyway.
"My father walked in on me in an intimate position," I looked up at him and he didn't say anything but his eyebrows rose to his hair line in question, "with a man." I finished the unanswered question looking away from him to hide the tears that started forming again. I heard a quick intake of breath and chanced a look at him once again.
He didn't look disgusted, more sympathetic.
"Alright, out of the car and into the cruiser please." My heart sank as he pulled my door open and I stepped out making my way over to his vehicle. I went to get in the back but was surprised when he opened the front passenger side. He just shrugged and I threw myself into the seat.
He made his way to the driver side and got in pulling out his cell phone.
"Hey baby," He paused for the person on the other end and he broke out into the hugest grin you could see the love etched in his features.
"Well, I wanted to see if you would please meet me at the dinner?" He paused again.
"Can't Leah watch it for a few hours?" More waiting.
"Thank you babe, see you in a few, love ya." Another short pause and smiled again before closing his phone and looking at me.
"When was the last time you ate a good meal?" He asked me as he started up the car. I was confused and it must have shown on my face.
"I'm not taking you in Edward, I want to talk to you find out what's going on, I don't want to arrest you." I blinked a few times and he laughed lightly.
"Thank you sir." I didn't know what else to say to him.
"Please call me Charlie." I nodded and we fell into a companionable silence as he drove to the dinner. Once there we hopped out and made our way in.
"Hey Chief." I heard a few people call out as we entered.
"Hey everyone, how's it going on this fine day?" He greeted in return as he made his way to a booth and sat. I followed behind sliding in across from him.
"It's going," The waitress said placing an orange juice and coffee down in front of Charlie and handing me a menu. "Peter joining you?" She asked him and I was even more confused.
"Yeah he should be here…" He never got to finish as a voice behind me answered.
"Now," I turned and saw the man I saw at the beach yesterday. He slid in next to him and leaned over kissing him soundly on his lips and my jaw hit the table and I knew I was staring.
"Son, you may wanna close your mouth, never know what you could catch with it just hanging open like that." My mouth snapped shut and both of them just chuckled at me.
"So baby, you brining home strays now?" The new man asked Charlie.
"You know me, can't help it. Peter, this is Edward, Edward this is my husband Peter." I just continued to stare at them.
"Hey Edward, you both want to tell me what's going on?" Peter asked. Before anyone could answer the waitress came to take our order, well my order, Charlie and Peter just ordered their usual.
"Well, I have noticed Edward around town for a few days," Oops, this was news to me; "I noticed this morning that he was sleeping in his car and wanted to know what was going on. I was worried, he doesn't look much older than ours, so here we are just waiting to hear his story." With that they both looked at me in anticipation. I felt better knowing they wouldn't be judgmental about me being gay, but I wasn't sure how they would respond to everything else.
The food arrived and I launched into my story deciding to trust them and maybe they could help me. I told them everything from my dad finding me with Felix, the beating, our family history, my trip, having to leave Seattle so quickly, I didn't spare any detail. When I finished they looked at each other seeming to have a silent conversation with each other. After a few minutes Peter spoke up looking at Charlie not me.
"We need to call Marcus."
So there we have Edward! YAY! As always reviews get previews! Hope you liked it! Drop me a line and let me know what you think!