The Pain We Suffer

AN/ I don't own NCIS. I am sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I hope that you all like it. please PM me or review and tell me what you think. It means a lot. Enjoy!!

Chapter 11

Abby's so relaxed in the tub that she falls asleep. It felt so good to her aching muscles. When Abby hadn't come out of the bathroom after forty-five minutes, Gibbs was concerned. So he went upstairs and knocks on the bathroom door. When he gets no answer, he knocks again and says, "Abby, are you alright?" He still gets no answer. Then it crosses his mind that maybe she couldn't answer. So Gibbs tries the door knob. He finds it unlocked and opens the door. "Abby, it's just me." Inside he finds her sleeping peacefully in her cozy bubble bath. He smiles and leans down to kiss her awake.

Once their lips pressed together, Abby moans as she starts to get into the kiss. Her arms go around Gibbs' neck. Once they pull apart, Abby's eyes are still closed.

"Quick, get out of the house. If Gibbs catches you here, he will kill you." Abby says with a wicked smile.

Gibbs smiles, "Who says Gibbs couldn't join us." Gibbs says in a deep whisper. Abby was shocked that she opened her eyes with a gasp. She had some fear in her eyes. Her face was showing some fear too. "Sorry Abs. I thought you would've thought it was funny. Did I say something wrong?" Gibbs grabs Abby's hand.

"I'm sorry Gibbs. I just… I guess that voice you used sounded a lot like his. And some… Never mind. What time is it? I think I might have fallen asleep." Abby rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. From the tiredness she was feeling and the unshed tears.

Gibbs helps her sit up, "You have been in here for forty-five minutes. I got worried and came to see if you were ok. You were sleeping. I thought a nice kiss to wake my sleeping beauty would be a wonderful way to wake you. I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound like him. I don't know what he sounds like. Well, NOW I do. But you need to get out of that tub. Do you mind if I hold your robe open for you? I swear I won't look, unless you want me to." Gibbs gives his signature grin.

Abby slaps his shoulder and says, "Gibbs, you dirty old man." Then she smiles. "You can hold my robe open. You can look if you want. But you need to be warned that I have bruises all over. I just didn't want you to see me that way." Abby's eyes saddened.

Gibbs gets her robe. He holds it open as she steps into in. Gibbs eyes Abby's naked flesh, but just glances. "Abby, you are beautiful. Bruises, deformities or extra body parts. You are beautiful. I love you for you, not you body. Although, I do have to say that it is gorgeous with or without bruises." Gibbs says, as Abby stands up and Gibbs wraps her robe around her along with his arms. He hugs her so tight she almost couldn't breath.

"Gibbs! I can't breath! Breathing becoming an issue." Abby says with a giggle.

"Sorry sweetie. I just love you so much. And I really need you to know that." Gibbs voice was getting that tone that he uses when he's on a case.

Abby was confused. "Why are you so determined for me to know that you love me? Oh God! Am I dying? Did you get a call from the doctor with news that they found a tumor?" Abby panics.

"No. I just don't ever want you to think that I didn't or don't love you. I would die for you and that baby. You understand me?" Gibbs had that stare going on too.

"Why are you saying this?" Abby was getting uncomfortable. This just came out of the blue. They had just told each other that they loved each other. She knew Gibbs was going to be protective of her and this child she carried. She was sure that he was thinking back to Shannon and Kelly. And he was scared that he might loose them. But this was excessive.

Gibbs pulls her into him again and kisses her on the top of the head. "Abby, I don't ever want you to fear for your life or your child's. I will always protect you, both. I just thought that you would sleep easier if you knew that. And I want you to feel you can tell me anything. I was a little concerned that you didn't trust me enough to tell me what he did to you. Come on, let's go have a talk. And you tell me if there is anything else I need to know. Now is the time to tell me. You know that I will listen and not judge." Gibbs ushers her back to her room.

A couple hours later, they were asleep in her bed. They had talked. Their emotions were racing. She told Gibbs about the threat this crazy guy made against him. And he waited for her to tell him about the other rapes. The other times he raped her. She had only told him about a single rape. So he knew that Abby was holding that back. He wasn't sure why she was holding it back. And after a while Abby fell asleep. Gibbs soon followed.

Not long after they had gone to sleep, Gibbs woke up when Abby turned over, away from him. When she was off him arm and chest, Gibbs got up and was going to start to cook something to eat. But then he decided to check her notebook again. He felt there was more that she might be hiding. So he got into her dresser drawer and took the notebook, then headed downstairs to start cooking.

He decided to make a casserole. Something he could throw things together and then sit and read while it cooked. He put some shaved ham, broke up into pieces. Then Au Gratin potatoes into the pan. And last, but not least, a can of corn. And then he put it in the oven. After that was done, Gibbs sat down at the kitchen table and opened the notebook and began to read.

Entry 4

7/25/08

I don't feel right. Like he broke something in me that can't be fixed by anyone. I feel so alone. I can't tell anyone what he said. How can I believe a word he says? He hurt me, and he will try to hurt my Gibbs. If I tell him it will hurt him so bad. Will I ever be the same as I was before he kidnapped me? Will I ever feel safe anywhere? I hate feeling so unsure of things. One moment I feel so numb. Then the next I feel so angry and scared. I don't think we are meant to feel all these emotions at once. I guess this is what they call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have read about it. But you never understand what something means until you experiences it for yourself. And I care not to go through this again. I hope it goes away soon. Oh crap, I have an appointment. Gibbs hasn't let me out of his sight. So I have to stop for now. I would hate for Gibbs to see me writing. He might not understand. Bless his large heart.

Gibbs heard movement from upstairs and quickly hid the notebook in a cupboard that she would never need to get in. It was his boat equipment. A few minutes later, Abby's sleepy body make it around the corner and into the kitchen.

"Where did you go? I was worried about you." Abby rubs her eyes and heads to the fridge. She grabs a bottled water and sits at the table. She rubs her head and sighs.

"Sorry. I just thought you and little baby Suito might need nourishment. Does your head hurt? Do you want some Tylenol?" Gibbs was concerned.

"No. I don't want any medicines or anything that could be bad for the baby. What are you cooking? Mmmm, it smells so good." Abby closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Smelling the food baking in the oven.

"It's a casserole. A little ham, potatoes, and corn. Does that sound ok to you? Do you think that your stomach or the baby will find that ok. I was going to pull a little shredded cheese on top. But you let me know if you can eat it." Gibbs was moving around the kitchen. He was hoping Abby wouldn't notice the look in his eyes. The look like the kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Abby still rubbing her temples. "Sounds fine. I don't know if my stomach or the baby will rebel against it or not. But it smells so good. I am will to try anything. I am starving." Abby stop talking and took a drink of her water.

"You sure about the Tylenol? It won't hurt the baby." Gibbs looked over at her. He walks over and strokes her hair. "Honey, something's bothering you. What is it?" Gibbs asks in his best investigator voice.

"Jethro, I'm not a suspect. I am not a witness. So back off, ok. I need to get this headache gone. And I am starving." Abby looks over at Gibbs. Her eyes don't look right.

"Honey, is it just a headache? Are you running a fever?' Gibbs pulls his hand to her forehead. Abby pulled away from his hand. "Abby, hold still honey." He tries to put his hand back on her forehead. Abby tried to get up, but falls into Gibbs. He can feel the heat radiating from her body. "Abby, honey?" She is limp on him. He lays her on the floor carefully and calls Ducky.

Ducky answers, "Dr. Mallard."

Gibbs breathing pretty fast, "Ducky, something's wrong with Abby. She feels like she's running a high fever. She just passed out."

"I'm on my way Jethro." And Ducky was gone. Gibbs went to the living room quickly and got a throw pillow of the couch and the blanket off the back of the couch. He comes back and Abby's awake and trying to get up.

Gibbs pushes her back onto the floor and put the pillow under Abby's head. And he tried to put the blanket over her. "Abby, stay right there. We have Ducky coming to look you over. You passed out. You are running a fever. Now just stay were you are damn it!"

Abby looked weird. She wasn't acting like herself. He knew she was sick, but she looked like the polar opposite of his Abby. "Jethro, stop hovering! You are making me want to throw up! I am so achy. I thought me headache was just caffeine withdraw. But everything aches. Jethro, please don't tell Ducky about the baby. He will want details. And I just don't feel up to it. You said we could wait to tell them until after we caught this bastard! Please!" Abby sat up a little and looked like she was going to throw up. Gibbs grabs the trash can and holds it right under her mouth just in time. Abby lost what little food she had in her stomach. Gibbs holds her hair back and rubs her back.

"Abby, it's ok. We are going to make this ok. Don't you worry. I will be here for you. We'll find out what's wrong." Gibbs is distracted by the knock at the door. "Hold this babe. I have to answer the door." Gibbs makes sure she'll be ok without him for a moment. Gibbs goes to the door and opens it to see Ducky. "Follow me. And Ducky, she pregnant. With my child. So we have to take care of them both." Gibbs looks Ducky in the eye. Then they head to the kitchen and to take care of their beloved Abby and her unborn child.

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