POV District 9 Adshywor Tash

There are so many statistics, so many different ways the world can work. With every breath a person takes, they could just as easily stop. With every word a person says, they could just as easily say another. With every choice a person makes, they could just as easily choose another. With every event that ever happens, something else could happen entirely. Just as easily as the old, "remarkable" President Snow took the highroad and extinguished the flames the 74th Victors, he could've done something drastic right away, and what would've happened then? Just as easily as my name - Adshywor Tash - could be said as the District 9 tribute for the 100th Hunger Games, my best friend - Estos Voif - could be called instead. Or his sister, Saest Voif. Or a combination of one of us and her. "It's a dangerous thing we play," I said with a sigh.

We were laying out in the grain fields, though it would be a long while before it grew in the fall. Estos looked towards me, though he didn't respond. "What, the Games?" Saest asked, carefully brushing my hair. She had tried to argue that coming and laying in the dirt while she did our hair for us would be counterproductive, but she had given up by now.

"Anything really," I responded. I squinted my eyes to keep the sun out, and my elbows were getting sore from digging in the dirt to prop myself up. "Just life in general. Obviously the Hunger Games are dangerous. But how easily something else could kill you."

Saest and Estos shared a look. "It's Reaping day. It always messes with his head."

"Think about it," I insisted, sitting up. "There are hundreds of people that can just go through life without ever being touched or effected by the Reapings or the Games, and others who can have their entire family just disappear."

The two of them didn't respond, and we fell silent for a long while before we silently all got up to return to our families and head for the Town Square. We walked side by side in silence, and I somewhat wished I had kept my mouth shut. They were right, the Reapings always made me overthink things. We got in the same line to sign in. I was first in line, followed by Estos, and then Saest. I noticed the peacekeepers shared a glance. It would've been a whole lot easier if we got in separate lines, but we refused to separate. Though in the long run, I would get through and stand with the other eighteen-year-olds before Estos would join me, and Saest wouldn't. She was year younger than the two of us and was also a girl, so we wouldn't be anywhere near her.

I realized this would be my last year, my last Reaping. But if I grew up and had my own kids, I'd still be in the Reaping. But maybe I could actually be one of the people that never gets touched by the Reapings, never gets hurt by them. But what if Estos got pulled? That would affect me, I would've be able to live without my best friend. Or Saest getting reaped. I realized, with a massive wave crushing me, how much I didn't want her to get hurt either. It was a terrible thing to be realizing now, since I had never realized it before though we had been by one another's side since we were young. This was my last year, but she would have one more. I would've been concerned for her no matter what, but now I was more worried for her than for me. I had a better chance of getting called, with statistics, but why wouldn't the world want to hurt me?

"Next, next, are you deaf?" The peacekeeper growled at me. Estos nudged me forward, and I was snapped into reality. I quickly complied, and the peacekeeper was glad to get me through quickly and get rid of me. I made my way over to the back of the guys, glancing back to the line. Estos was focused on getting signed in, but Saest had turned. When I locked my dark brown eyes on her blue-silver eyes, she gave me a gentle, sympathetic smile and a small wave. I just kept looking over my shoulder, smashing right into the rope before I finally had to turn away and duck under.

I looked back around, keeping my eyes on her even though she was now getting checked in and Estos made his way to me. "Hey," He greeted, slipping in beside me.

"Hey," I replied tightly, turning around to face the stage. We didn't say any more, but just being beside one another kept us from trying to run. Within a couple minutes, the anthem began to play. Romara Hind was the name of our escort. This year, she was dressed in a golden brown, skin tight dress that went down to her ankles, which forced her to shuffle. She had a matching, long stretch of fabric wrapped around her neck, shoulders, and arms and then continued to fall to the ground. Her dark brown, almost black hair was curled so tightly it looked like she had cinnamon buns from the bakery draped from her head. Her face was painted with make-up so you could barely see her pink-dyed eyes.

Her voice was scratchy and tough, and she always sounded like she had drank too much. I paid attention to her during the Dark Days video, and she was wobbling back and forth of her extremely tall, cream heels. I guessed she would've wanted to sit down, but I could barely even see her body move with her breathing, even considering that I was a good distance from her. "And now," She continued, her voice strained. "We'll first pick the girl."

She half shuffled, half limped over to the girls' bowl. She seemed to loose her balance once she got there, leaning into the bowl wall she shuffled the names though her fingers. She finally picked one, shoving herself out of the bowl before making her way back to the microphone. She continued to shift as she tried to undo the tape keeping the name folded. I noticed that her nails, which were painted yellow and pink, were chewed to their nail beds. After a minute or so of struggling, she ripped it open and read quickly into the microphone, "Saest Voif."

NO. No, no, no, no, no, no... I was wobbling on my feet, and I couldn't catch myself before I tripped backward, pulling the rope down with me. Rain had started to trickle down, though I hadn't noticed. The ground was muddy, and though I made no effort to stand. Estos was trying to pull me up, and while I gave him a look of shock and confusion, I was unresponsive. How was he handling this? It was his sister after all.

"I volunteer!" Estos immediately turned around, and I peered past the other guys to try and see. Saest was almost up to the stage, but she had stopped dead when someone volunteered. It was a thirteen-year-old girl, her hand raised in the air, pushing her way through the crowd. She looked like she was twelve, and she had semi-short red-blond hair. Saest was staring in shock, remaining in her spot as the peacekeepers abandoned her and led the girl up to the stage, though she was well ahead of them.

The look of shock on Romara's face was indescribable. "What's your name?" She asked, leading the girl over to the microphone with hands on each of her shoulders.

"Neassale Enther," She repeated quickly. Another eighteen-year-old, who I knew from school - Fagav - started pacing around in circles, his hands clamped on his head.

Then I remembered. Fagav Enther. Fagav Enther had a little sister, though I never met her. His little sister had volunteered. I felt terrible for Fagav, but the only thing I could do was whisper to myself, "Thank you. Thank you Neassale Enther."

"And now, the boys," Romara said, trying to keep going while the rain started to pour down. She hustled over to the bowl and quickly grabbed one from the bottom. She was probably just trying to find one that would be dry. She sheltered the piece of paper under her hand, and hunched over it as much as she could while she unfolded it. Her makeup was starting to drip, revealing her eyes more. She leaned in to the mic and quickly said, "Adshywor Tash."

I froze in place, where I sat in the mud. Everyone slowly glanced towards me, even Fagav looking up to me, forgetting the panic for his sister for a few moments. Estos offered me a shaky hand, which I finally accepted. I was soaked and covered in mud, hardly a great impression to make as I walked, slowly and stiffly, up to the stage. I would've gone into the Games with Saest. But if Neassale volunteered, would I still have gone in with Saest? Maybe Romara would've chosen one from the top, or the middle, since there wouldn't have been more time for the rain to soak into those.

Saest was still standing in the spot she was in when Neassale volunteered. I locked eyes with her again, my dark brown hair started to get in my eyes as the rain pelted down. Her blond hair was plastered to her shoulders and face, and she was breathing hard. As I got closer, she ran towards me and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," She said shakily. I said nothing, but before the peacekeepers could get to us, I peeled her off me. My eyes were wide, searching her face to find an escape from the world.

I gave her a kiss on her forehead before I let go of her shaky hands. I had been gripping her so hard that my hands hurt, and I wondered if I had hurt her. I continued up to the stage, every step a challenge, every breath an obstacle. Romara didn't come to lead me, she just waited for me, not wanting to shuffle back through the rain. She had me and Neassale shake hands, and as I looked into her brown eyes, I wondered how many times I'd have to thank her or help her to be even for saving my friend. And if it weren't for the Games, I might try to become more with. I don't know why she did what she did, but she had saved another girl's life. What was that like?

But I realized she was glaring at me. Confusion set in on my face, but Romara was soon hustling us into the Justice Building to get out of the rain. Our shoes squeaked across the floor, and I almost slipped when Romara let go of my shoulder to let me go into my room. "Try not to get water all over the furniture!" She advised us before closing both our doors.

At first, I didn't move from where I stood beside the door. But after about two minutes of staring straight ahead, I stumbled back. I collapsed onto the floor, staying away from the furniture. I wasn't exactly obeying Romara, I just didn't care enough to get up and sit on what would turn into wet velvet. For once, my mind was blank. After a while, the door creaked open, but I didn't look to see who it was. I played with my pant cuff, staring at the soaked shoes in front of me. They walked over, and then squatted down in front of me, and I finally looked up to see Saest. "Hey," She whispered gently, though her voice cracked when she spoke.

"It's not your fault," I replied immediately. She moved and came to sit on the floor beside me. She didn't respond, and she didn't give me any sort of nod. She didn't believe me. Maybe she didn't feel like it was her fault, but just bad for it. Or maybe my speech that morning had gotten into both of our heads. But it's not her fault that Neassale intervened. "Where's Estos?"

"He went to see Neassale first," She explain, brushing my wet hair out of my face. "To thank her for saving me." I pushed myself forward so I was sitting directly beside her. "We're going to trade off, though her family will probably get there before I can." I stayed silent, searching her face. What if I had realized my feelings for her before? Would that have changed whether either of us would get reaped? "I wonder what was going through her head," She continued, trying to fight the silence away. She continued to run her fingers through my tangled hair. She was trying to hide their shaking. Her other hand was clamped in her lap, but I could feel her thumb bouncing against my cheek.

"She didn't volunteer until I was right beside her," Saest commented. "Was she specifically waiting for the right moment? Or...did she see my face and took pity on me for...some...random reason..." She trailed off, choking on her words. "What am I doing?" She whispered.

I took her hands, letting them drop in my lap. I ran my thumb over the back of her hands, scarred and calloused from working in the grain fields. "I could win, you know," I told her, looking down at her hands. "I could try. I could win. I could win for you." I looked up at her, and her eyes were fixed on me. "I will win for you."

Her mouth was open, trying to find something to say. Her eyes even seemed to shake in fear. "Is this just because of the Games...?" She asked, drawing herself away from me.

I shook my head. "While I was waiting to get signed in," I explained. "I was thinking about the Games. How easily I could be affected. I didn't want Estos to get hurt. And then I double checked to realize how much I didn't want you to get hurt."

"You were right," She said with a sigh, pulling herself closer again. "Imagine how much easier our lives could've been if you didn't get reaped. Neassale saved me, and it would've been all ok if you had been saved - or didn't need saving."

"Yeah," I replied. "Until next year. Estos and I would've been safe. You wouldn't be. You still won't be."

She stayed silent. "What are the odds that I'll be drawn twice?" When she finally responded, her voice was pained. "And what are the odds that you'll live?"

"For both...whatever the Capitol wants them to be." I didn't continue, and she didn't respond. My speech from that morning had been on my mind, and clearly it was on hers too. But it hadn't occurred to us that no matter what the real odds were, the Capitol controlled the variables. It wasn't up to fate. People like Neassale are the ones that act on fate. For everything else, the Capitol decides it.

I moved closer to her. How long had I been sitting on my feelings and not knowing it? I had met Estos on our first day of school. I didn't meet Saest until a year later. And then an even bigger question. How many people would I be willing to kill to get back to her and Estos? I leaned towards her, and for a second I thought it would be ok if I didn't live. Because she would. I didn't care if I was going insane anymore. This could easily be the last time I ever saw her. I closed the gap, kissing her. I don't know for how long, but it wasn't enough time before the peacekeepers came to the door, telling us her time was up.

"I'll live," I whispered to her, staying on the ground while she reluctantly got to her feet. She kept her eyes locked on me as she left the room. I suddenly didn't know if I wanted to live or if I wanted to die.