I believe I might have soured all of the good reviews I've been getting with this weird chapter. Still, read it and then tell me how you felt about it. It's of course the product of another late night, but I did get a few chuckles from it.

If Life Could Be Like That

(derived from the song "Be Like That" from 3 Doors Down)

The time Harry spent at the Malfoy's passed rather quickly to him. Or maybe that was because he'd started to think he was in some weird time-warp…kind of…

Two weeks ago

"Hey Draco, I've figured it out!" Harry told him smugly the day after they returned from the hospital.

"Like I give a damn," Draco muttered in a bored voice, turning the page on his Shonen Jump comic…though he couldn't understand a single symbol on the page.

"Well you should! I've figured out a way to pass by all the boring and hard stuff in life without realizing it!"

Draco turned his head up to him in an "Oh really?" sort of way. "Uh-huh. Okay, crack-head, what's the secret?"

"It's pot-head, and the secret is…a montage!" Harry said excitedly.

Draco narrowed his eyes. "A montage? I'm sorry, last time I checked, this was Harry Potter not Rocky. Where the hell do you get off thinking that you can do years of training or something and compress it into a one minute slideshow? Real life isn't the movies, stupid!"

"Alright, suit yourself. When you're way behind me on skills years from now, you'll wish you'd done a montage too!" And with that Harry stormed off.

Draco gave a disdainful sniff. "Yeah, whatever. Dumbass." Though I could use a montage to teach me some kanji letters…why the hell don't they have a translation for this shit?!

Present day

So it had been two weeks and Harry had been busy with different activities to help with his montage.

The Malfoy's had banned him from eating dinner at the table, due to him suddenly becoming an overly fast and rude eater.

"Um, I cooked enough pastrami for everyone, Harry. There'll be enough for seconds," Mrs. Malfoy said as she watched Harry shove two forkfuls of food into this mouth at the same time.

"Must…do it…for…montage!" Harry choked between swallows.

After awhile, everyone had grown tired of his montage and wanted nothing to do with him or it. So, alone in his room, Harry wolfed down spicy tuna straight from the can…and what purpose this served was beyond even him. But it seemed appropriate.

He jumped rope in the drive way as fast as possible, wanting the rope to become a blur around him. Perhaps he was skilled on a Quidditch field, but Muggle jump-roping wasn't a talent of his. Three seconds later, he was lying face-first on the ground.

Wow, screw-ups! This will go great with my montage! You gotta show failures in order to understand the success!

Deep in the woods surrounding the property, Harry held a knife in his hand, and continuously stabbed a figure.

It was a straw dummy that was painted and dressed to look like Voldemort.

"Where's my money, bitch?" He yelled and shanked it, stabbing his knife deep into the dummy's stomach.

"Don't play me!" Harry said, knifing "Voldemort" again.

From a safe distance away, Draco watched him. What the hell is he doing?! Prison shanking dummies? Dude. Weak!

Finally, the day came where Harry reviewed his progress. Waving his wand in a way that he'd made up, he said "Montage revealious!" Out of nowhere, a DVD appeared in front of him. Harry picked it up and put it in the DVD player that he'd swiped from Dudley's room before leaving. The kid had so many, he wouldn't notice this one missing.

Harry appeared on the TV screen (yes, the Malfoy's have a TV, but no DVD player…and I say they're traditional wizards…let's ignore this little glitch in my imagination, eh?). The Harry on the TV screen was in a completely black room with only one bright spot-light on him. He was kneeling on the ground, head down and raven locks shadowing his eyes. Then Harry looks up with a fierce determination showing on his face…and thus Eye of the Tiger begins to play.

The movie goes through his disgusting eating habits, his solitude in his room with his spicy tuna, him falling to the ground (completely slow-mo…very dramatic. Harry nods his approval). Then it shows a scene that Harry didn't remember, but seemed ever so slightly possible.

He's running up a snow-covered mountain. He looses his footing and slips for a moment. Gritting his teeth, he pushes himself up again. The strong winds threaten to knock him back down. His body wants to quit, but his mind forces him to keep going. Then, a burst of adrenaline pushes him to the top. He's there! He's made it! In a deep voice that was most definitely not Harry's (he let Kingsley Shackelbolt do this part) he yells at the top of his lungs "I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!!"

Here, the montage DVD stops playing and goes back to the title menu (?!), another slideshow of overly-muscular Harry's flexing at the screen in different positions.

But the real Harry sat stunned on the sofa. What the hell was that?! Two weeks of training all for this?! I only have two more weeks until I'm 17 and I haven't improved on shit! Oh man, Voldemort's gonna cream me!

Draco happened to be strolling by the living room and peeked in to see the distraught Harry. "So, I'm guessing your montage didn't go as well as you'd hoped, huh? Well I could've told you that. See Harry, a montage can happen for anyone…if you actually do the work and make progress. Doing a bunch of cool or depressing things to make it seem like you've been through a lot doesn't mean that you've actually overcome something. So, put down the HIV remote and actually train!"

"That's DVD remote." Harry gave a huge sigh. "Damn. All that time, wasted."

"Go train, loser," Draco sneered, pointing a finger toward the exit. Like some obedient puppy, Harry went.

Okay, this chapter was a bit senseless…and yeah, I knew I said that I'd get back on track, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to do a montage myself here! Rather than take up time writing senseless chapters between the time of Harry and Voldemort's fight, I did one (or perhaps two) senseless chapters to get the ball rolling…some more…Anyways! I hope this was at least okay…remember what I wrote at the top of my last chapter, about the dvd's? I found myself thinking of Harry doing jutsu's rather than spells! And for anyone who's seen any of the anime versions of Naruto will understand that that last line Draco says sounded like Sasuke…yeah, you can tell what's going to be my next project! Alright, enough of the drabbles. Review, tell me straight up what you thought of this, even if it might hurt my feelings. Yay or nay?