Chapter Eleven;
the Deep End

Raped. You're a whore.

Slash.

Heartbroken by the same guy too many times to keep track of.

Slice.

Treated like a freak of nature.

Swipe.

With crimson stained, horrendously trembling pale hands Cat held the blade of her knife over her damaged wrist, pressing the point of her weapon to its final position, vertically, straight along the veins of her forearm. Tears clouded her vision, fogging the once bright chocolate brown irises and making it very hard to see what she was doing – droplets cascaded down flushed cheekbones like mini waterfalls, broken sobs eliciting from lightly parted, pink lips. Four days had passed since Andre's surprise visit, and during the course of those painful 95 hours they had not said a word to each other. Sitting at different lunch tables, avoiding eye contact and she, going all the way, managed to switch partners in her singing class so she wouldn't have to bother saying a word to him ever again. It was complete torture; she didn't bother to hide her despair.

And the worst part? He didn't seem to care at all. Of course she knew that she may not have been right about that, because she knew for a fact that not all guys liked to show their emotions so publicly like girls did. Cat didn't; she had been managing to hide them all of her life (despite when she was so mercilessly raped not too long ago – that was when her mask fell down), but she had felt no energy left to even bother anymore. It was like it was completely impossible for her to hide whatever she was feeling and push her horrid, depressing thoughts to the back of her mind.

If anyone knew Cat, they'd know that she had her mental breakdowns time and time again, but they could always be cured with a gentle hug and some ice cream. Ever since she had been raped that had not been the case. But now, this was no mental breakdown, this was one of great proportion. One where she was locked up in her bathroom, home alone, sobbing her heart out with a knife pressed against her trembling wrist, ready to take her life at any moment. It was everything piling up upon her shoulders, pressing down as though with the weight of the world – and she couldn't take it anymore. Never had she imagined she would take her life so mercilessly; hell, she would have never imagined harming herself in this way at all, even under any circumstances. It was unfathomable. And to think she was doing so, only high off of adrenaline, was near unbelievable.

No one was home, there was no one to stop her, and no one was going to be home for quite some time to stop her. She would already be dead by the time they even got back into Hollywood. And she doubted that any of them, maybe beside her brother, would care that she had taken her life in her own hands, literally, and ended it without a single goodbye. Save for the note for Jade, Tori, Robbie, Beck and her brother that resided upon her large pink comforter in the room beside the one she was currently sitting within. There was a note for Andre, yes (a rather long note, she might add) but she had slipped it in his locker when he left after school so no one else could read it. He would get it tomorrow morning.

By then, she'd already be gone.

Fearing she has waited far too long, Cat Valentine carved the final wound that would end her life.

Meanwhile

Tori Vega was livid. Not only was there a horrible knot tying within her flat stomach, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but she hadn't seen Andre all day long. For the past couple of days he had been avoiding her like a plague, only talking to her for a moment or so, pecking her lips just barely with his own, before zooming off in the opposite direction. She hadn't seen him this wonky since an incident she'd rather not recall, and based upon her own instinct she suspected something was going on that he, nor her friends (if they knew), were telling her. In fact, Andre's mother had called her a few nights ago asking if her eldest son was still at her house – her answer had of course been no – before telling her that he was still not home. Of course she had gotten worried, especially when none of her calls were received. And, to make her suspicions rise, Cat, Jade and Beck had resorted in sitting at a different lunch table than the usual. Rotten glares from both Jade and the smaller redhead, which earnestly surprised Tori, bore into the back of her head like sharp knives. Only the Goth had sense to actually say something to her face.

But then again, when did she not say anything rude to her face? It was like a must on her to-do-list, if one even existed in that of Jade West's life. She doubted those odds, but who really knew.

Determined to discover what was going on, if it was the last thing she did, she marched into the music room within their precious high school with her arms crossed over each other and glared at the musician composing upon one of the grand keyboards set up in the middle of the room. He was startled as the door clicked shut, rather loudly, behind her, and turned around with brown eyes round in surprise. "T-Tori! Wow, uh, you scared me there. I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry" She apologized coolly, brows furrowing as she narrowed her eyes, "but I'm here to put an end to this wonk!"

"What wonk, babe?" He asked her as he slowly rose from his recumbent stance upon the leather chair before the keyboard he was recently playing, swallowing thickly. He did not like the sound of this. "There is no wonk here, see, no wonk!"

"Andre, I'm done playing these games. Be the man that you're supposed to be and tell me the honest truth…" Tori paused, gauging his reaction as he stood nervously, some feet away from her. She could feel her anger rising, boiling within her veins – because if it was one thing that this Latina despised, it was being lied to. Normally she could control her anger, but she was done with being in the dark; at least though, she concluded to herself, she wouldn't take drastic measures like Jade might have. "Where were you after you left my house the other night?"

"Oh, um, the other night?"

"Yes. Please, Dre, don't lie to me. We built this relationship off of our friendship and we promised we'd always be honest with each other." She said as she took a step closer, "my Tori Vega-wrath will be ten times worse if I find out what exactly you're hiding, rather than you just straight up telling me. It makes me feel like you're responsible enough."

"Responsible enough? What am I supposed to be responsible for – our relationship? Tor, a relationship isn't built strictly on responsibility. I thought you would know that, by now at least." Said Andre, gaining a little bit of courage.

"I do know that! It's built on trust and friendship and contentment!" Tori fired back, "but how can you expect me to trust you when I know for a fact that you're hiding something from me, Andre?"

He said nothing in response, and her perturbation confirmed.

"Great, are you telling me that I can't?"

"Tori I didn't say that," He attempted to reason, but she held up a slim hand to stop him.

"You didn't say anything!"

"Listen!" Andre bellowed, finally loosing himself in his boiling anger – she could very much see it in his eyes, and for some reason, as she held his stare, her heart faltered. "Where was I Saturday night? After I left your house, I went to Cat's! I don't know why the hell I went there in the first place, but it could be something to do that I've been helping her Tori! I've been helping her deal with everything – drugs, her parents always arguing, her being raped the night after Keenan's party! And I know it was wrong to go without telling you, and I know it was wrong to kiss her that night too but I just couldn't help myself Tor..I couldn't help myself, and I don't know why. Really, a part of me thinks that I've been avoiding you because I just don't know how I feel anymore. About us, about me and Cat, about everything. My views changed, nothing is the same."

And if Tori's jaw wasn't hitting the floor the moment he started speaking, it surely was now. She stood, routed to the spot as she attempted to process everything that had been said – no, shouted – to her. Part of her wanted to believe that everything he had just said was a lie, but another part of her couldn't bring herself to think such a conclusion further. He had just bellowed out that one of her best friends had been raped, and has been doing drugs behind everyone's backs (really, everyone's? Who else knew beside Andre; Jade surely…Beck?), and had just admitted to kissing her the night that things had started acting weird between the two of them. She really should have known that something happened; the two were close friends from what she had seen, and now they acted like two strangers who don't even know each other's names, or that the other existed.

Clearing her throat, a sting vaguely prodding at her eyes as she fought back tears, she finally gained the composure to respond to her boyfriend, if she could even call him that now. "Why…why didn't anyone tell me any of this?"

"Because it wasn't meant to be told," Andre said, exasperated, as he sank back into the chair he once sat, "Tori, I'm so sorry…but…"

"I don't want apologies, Dre," she said softly, exhaling heavily through her parted lips, "I just need one more answer. That's all."

"Well now that everything's out in the open…Sure."

"You and Cat…there's obviously something going on. Something that isn't going on between me and you and I doubt it ever will, despite what I may want." Tori explained, taking another few steps and grabbing his larger hands in her own; he squeezed them lightly, but the physical contact didn't feel the same as it had a couple days, weeks, before. "Do you love her?"

"There is something there, you're right. But I think…" He hesitated, averting his eyes from hers, "I think that I'm starting to fall in love with her. I just don't want you to be hurt, 'cause trust me girl that was never my intentions. I promise."

"I guess that settles it then," Tori bit her lip and released his hands, adjusting her satchel upon her slim shoulder and backing up toward the door, "I hope that we can still be friends, you mean too much to me to lose. Well…friend-wise, I guess I should say huh?"

"Goodbye Tori." Murmured Andre, albeit it wasn't a goodbye that meant he would no longer see her again – it was a goodbye to their relationship, and their close companionship that they once had before.

"Bye, Andre."

And without another word she exited the music room, attempting to ignore the lump in her throat, and made her way to Cat's house.

She needed to have a word with that one.

Hey guys! I've finally updated after many many weeks of not doing so…So, I apologize for the extremely long wait. Midterms have been absolutely killing me – we have to do projects instead of tests now, and you can imagine how stressful it is to have all of your classes, including electives, pile up projects that are due in one week is. It's freaking me out, so when I finished my French one, I decided to take a break and start writing this up. And it doesn't help that I just recently got into a pretty bad car crash – and with a totaled car, a hospital ridden best friend (who is being released in a tomorrow morning :D), and bruised ribs, it hasn't been the best couple days of my life. But I managed to find sometime reading and writing up some of my stories. Which by the way, I've added a new one to the list on my profile. I'm really considering about uploading that one first because I have a really awesome plot line for it. I'm not sure yet though, I'll have to think about it and see what you guys think.

In Time – (AU) An underground lab experiment has sent a deadly, airborne virus spiraling all about America and infecting those many; namely, the sick. Disease is spread by the infected, and shortly, it's gone viral – worldwide. A group of nine remain, fighting for their lives, surrounded by flesh eating creatures they once knew as humans. When a promising call that there is civilization and safety on the outskirts of Hawaii, they are determined to reach it. Figuring out a way to get there certainly won't be their only problem…
*Summary will be shortened.Not your typical "zombie apocalypse" story, I promise! :)

I would add more to the summary but if I do it will give it all away. It's my first AU story, so…I hope it will be good enough for you guys if you chose to read it. The rating may be M though, depending on violence and everything else, so, just a fair warning and all. Oh, and I'm going to have a good majority of the chapters done before even uploading it onto the site, so I won't constantly leave you guys waiting and waiting and all that junk. I mentally kick myself for that lol.

Anywhoooo, I hope you guys liked this chapter! Be sure to leave a review and take a vote on the poll on my profile:)