Title: One more Time to Kill the Pain
Notes: Final countdown. And I'm not talking about the days I have left of school. This is about the end here. Trust me. This is short compared to everything else I've written. Plus depression's being a bitch and getting me in a slump so you won't have to wait, I'll find a good ending. I'll make The Sopranos ending. (Mukuro walked into the room... Your computer screen goes blank.)
Anyway... This one's weird. Sarah and Skeleton Man were both kinda based off Angela from Silent Hill 2. Skeleton Man's part was based on the last time you see her. Yeah, I'm a big Silent Hill fan. If you didn't already know that is. But I hated the movie. It was crap. They should have done the ending with the six Pyramid Head monsters instead of the barbed wire rape. I couldn't sit for a week after that. I felt too mentally tender.
I think it would be ironic if I updated this on Father's Day. (If you don't get it, I suggest you reread this whole fanfic and ask me if you STILL don't get it.) PS I put the translation of Yomi and Mukuro's conversation from the last chapter if you wanted to know. (It's still there.)

-.-.-
Chapter 11 Emotionless

The Sarafists happened to appear again to gain women's rights. I don't remember ever granting them permission to track me down to fight for their cause, which was how things were supposed to be done. But apparently it happened. (They couldn't have just barged right in. They would have been dead before they reached me.)

Their leader who called herself Sara spoke first. "I've seen that you give slaves equal citizenship. I like that. You took one step closer to making us all equal. What I don't appreciate is how women basically have no rights still. Women could be raped and it's their fault for 'looking too appealing to the man'. I want that to change. I want women to be open to more jobs and for them to be allowed into the military.

"You're an honest man. I'll give you that. I haven't seen you do too much backstabbing. Well, you've started more wars than are necessary but you were true to your word and never tried to convince us that you were a peacemaker. (Actually, I never said anything about whether or not war continued. I just started them. The other side just liked to think i was stabbing them in the back. Or that I pulled a fast one on them. It's actually pretty amusing.) You haven't taken in any whores like I'm sure others have. Obviously Yomi's lacking in moral fiber. (What, and I am not?) I appreciate that. So because of that I assume that you must sympathize with me, no, us. I want you to make these changes on-" She opened a bag she brought with her looking for some list of demands.

"I won't look at it," I interrupted her.

"WHAT?" the second Sarafist clenched her fists. "You refuse without looking at it! There's some pretty reasonable stuff in there!"

"Do you really think everyone will immediately accept all that right now? You ask for immediate change. I can't just do that. I can't just tell people to change the way society has been formed. Not without a mass pointing of guns to people's heads, anyway. The people will change themselves. Ask for change among your villages, your towns, your cities. That's all you can do. I just can't do that. I have to take care of the military and laws but I can't take care of the minds of the people. Yomi did that and you see what' s wrong with his people. I don't want to be like him. I don't think you want me to either."

"She's wrong! You're not an honest man! You don't sympathize women!" the third Sarafist pointed an accusing finger at me. "You just think that we're all whores! You don't know what it's like to be a woman. You don't know the pain of being looked down upon. Have you ever been pregnant and endured all that for a miscarriage, stillborn or even just the pain of birth? No. You don't. It's not pleasant to be a woman but no rights makes it worse! It..."

"Enough! You rambling about how repressed your gender is making it worse for you. You say you're making a point but you made the point for the wrong side." I glanced at the group of twenty or thirty women. They're preaching to the choir. Besides, it would look strange if I made reforms like that so suddenly, alongside all my freeing of the slaves. People would have started to put two and two together. No matter what we say, people aren't that stupid. "I'll talk to your leader of your group and make everything work."

The second Sarafist screamed, "I don't want anyone in this room alone with you. How do I know that you won't do anything to our sister?"

"I'm an honest man, aren't I?" I raised an eyebrow at her. She couldn't see. As far as she was concerned, I was just smiling and letting the puppet strings pulls them around. "That's what your leader just said. I thought you would agree with her on something like that. But if we must come to some sort of an agreement.. Would it make you feel better if I told you that if I tried anything that made her feel uncomfortable in any way that she can scream and if she doesn't leave the room you can all burst in and kill me if need be."

"No! No, I don't believe you!" Sarah, the third Sarafist, reached down her shirt and took out a gun. At that point, I was reminding myself of what I was dealing with. These women weren't exactly the brightest in the bunch. I doubt that this woman ever fired at gun, especially at a target that could easily step out of the bullet's way. "The Goddess Sarafim gives me full permission to fire this and split your head. I'm from Grandara and proud of it. I won't feel bad about this."

"Sarah. Put it away. I made sure that that wasn't loaded. Sisters, don't worry. We shall come to a compromise. Leave now. I can talk to him easier man to man..." Sara glanced at me as if sizing me up. "Woman to woman. Goddess to goddess."

The Sarafists reluctantly walked out in a single file. Sarah spent the most time walking out as she kept glaring knives into me and she slammed the door behind her. Very intimidating. If I hadn't seen that thousands of times before.

"So what are your thoughts on women's rights?" Sarah asked. Straight to the point. They really were from Grandara.

"I appreciate your effort. It shows real dedication. I'll agree to make sure more jobs are available to women. I'll even make sure more schools would take women. That's the first step. It'll take time to make sure that these will be enforced, but I will see that this will happen. As for your suggestion for women in the military, I refuse to let that happen."

"Why refuse?"

"I don't want any... Odd behavior going on in the military. You know what I mean by that. That's one of the things outside of my control."

"I see." She was really fighting jumping at me and shoving her views down my throat again. I could tell by the way she was clenching everything together. My guess is that this woman is too used to having things handed to her. I really wish I knew what that's like. (No I don't. No one should know what that's like. That's poison. It just is.)

"While I do make those changes that won't mean everything completely unbiased. Until the balance between the genders is equal I'll try and keep track of the changes in employment and the education system. Like I've said several time, I'm unable to ensure that society will accept these kinds of changes."

"How about punishment? Is it equal for males and females? I've been told that women don't get the same punishments and they don't even get the death penalty. I don't want people to be killed but it's the principle, you must understand. Why should the male killer get the worse punishment than a woman? It's the same crime so we should get the same punishment. If we can both commit the same crime, I don't think weakness should be a factor."

Who wrote that law? Were they a bit dull when they thought of that? In any case... "It is in this country. If someone commits a crime, be it male or female, they would be sent to prison in the sentence decided upon by the courts. I rarely do executions."

"Do you now? I had the impression that you were a cold blooded killer."

Well, everyone knew that. Even people here knew that. (Funny how they still followed after me even though I could have been the one who murdered their family...) "Are you thinking of my past?"

"Yes. But I've only heard rumors. Rumors are rarely true. You know the rumor of the borders between the three kingdoms being heavily guarded? We found that to be false, as you can tell. But back to the point... There are also statistics that show more prisoners die in prison. What happens to be wrong here?"

Wasn't there a saying about how statistics are lies? Either way, statistics are full of shit and numbers are full of shit. That should be written. "I don't know how it happens. I figure that they're nationalists or radicals in this country that are killing the prisoners. I don't do anything because assuming alone won't help. It's not causing any problems as far as I'm concerned."

"I see. Well, we've gotten to a good start. A very good start, I'm surprised. By the way... About Sarah. You must excuse her. She's not a very stable person since she hasn't been in a stable relationship. I suppose that troubles her. In fact, I'm sure most Sarafists are troubled women coming from any unstable relationships. I think one is an escaped Ice Maiden. I don't understand her, leaving an isolated home. I don't even know how she got here considering their home is basically an island of ice in the sky. I don't even know why this one came down here in the first place. I'm glad to have her but... Ice Maidens, have you heard of them?"

"I haven't." Actually I heard a rumor about their existence. But they were usually regarded as the stuff of urban legend, considering how few people have actually seen one. Though that should be for obvious reasons.

"Ice maidens are from a floating island called something like Hyouga. All of its inhabitants are female and therefore reproduce asexually every one hundred years. Now, because producing children with other men produces a violent male child, they stayed isolated to avoid men and any problems they see here. That's what I've been told. It's really interesting... I would like to visit these women one day... I thought you knew that after Yomi tried to claim it was part of his territory some time ago. Raizen did make a few good jokes about that ordeal."

I should have remembered that. I never have trouble remembering Yomi's stupidity. "I see."

There was a pounding at the door. Then the door was shaken. There was the voice of Sarah, barely audible from beyond the walls. "Sara! Sara! Sister! I'll save you!"

"Sister! Calm yourself! We are still speaking!" Sara sighed and grumbled something under her breath. She looked at me as if regaining focus. "You don't have an heir. You know that? I really don't see why you don't at least have a wife. We know Yomi has a son, or is planning to have a son, anyway. Raizen... I don't care enough about Raizen to know what's going on with him. But you... You're the smartest of the three, I'll give you that. But you have no one to take after you."

"No, I don't. I don't plan on having one either," I replied. Though I didn't see why people can't just accept an election. In fact, I don't see how this kingdom can even continue after my death. There's just too many expectations associated with the next one in line.

"Why not? If you die and you don't have an heir it'll be all out chaos!"

"Well I do love raising hell. If anything my second in command would just take over my position no questions asked."

"Sister!" Sarah burst into the room pointing the gun at me. She had the craziest look on her face. It was the look dogs get when they're charging at you. "You...! You...! You bastard! Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do to my sister! I know you! I know men! Men are evil! All of you need to die!" She pulled the trigger but found that the gun was unloaded. (Apparently she couldn't have just tried to kill me with her own hands.) She threw it to the ground. "You bastard, you hear me...? You hear me! You bastard? You hear me you bastard? I know what you were going to do. You're only after one thing. You were going to rape her, weren't you? I hate you! You should be punished with death and burned in hell!"

"Peace, Sarah," Sara whispered. I could see at this point she was starting to get embarrassed.

"No! No! I won't! Unless... It'll make you love me... Will it make you love me? Will it make you love me, mama?" She fell to her knees in tears. Hell, this woman was more destroyed than we thought. I could somewhat comprehend what was running through her mind at the time... I didn't pursue her thoughts any further. "No! Mama! Mama! Why? You're stealing her away!"

"Sister..." Sara started to walk to her to giver her comfort. Sarah pushed her away, eyes still wide. She crawled away on all fours and continued to cower.

"I just want you to know..." I made sure they could hear my voice, the real one. Not the distortion that everyone else seemed to know. "Just for the record I don't quite understand the battle of the sexes. I have yet to understand where this idea of men being higher than women and where women being better than men came from. All I know is that males tend to attack each other physically and females tend to attack each other emotionally. Males tend to worry about their emotional appearance while women tend to worry about their physical appearance. I don't entirely sympathize with you because most of what you've done is complain not matter how many times I tell you can't do anything to change your placement among other people. I won't ask the impossible of my people."

"I... Is that your voice?" Sara gasped once she got out of her speechless state. "That's not masculine at all! Are you... Are you...? That's impossible... You can't be a..."

"Mind tricks! Mind tricks, I tell you! Don't let him fool you. He's bluffing. He's got you under his spell. Just you wait. He'll have you under his wing by the next hour and then... And then-" Sarah stopped herself. "You like his trickery. That's why. He won't rape you... It won't be rape because you want to be in his bed. Sarafim won't like this. She's crying. I see her. Right now. She's in my dreams and she tells me that you Nagare Yuiko will be damned in hell for your sins. She tells me... 'Hina Saname, you must stay away from Nagare Yuiko. She is a bad girl... A bad girl.' You're a bad girl, sister. She told me."

"If need be, I could split your head open with a snap of my fingers." Despite the fact that I couldn't really snap my fingers, she still fell on the ground in convulsions. When things escalate to this level, you use what weapons you have to get what you need.

"Sister Sarah! Sister Sarah! Saname! Saname! Saname Hina!" Sara shook her but froze when Sarah produced with a knife from her shirt. How many weapons did this woman bring with her?

"I love you Mama. I hope you love me now Mama..." She tore her shirt open and pierced her heart. She died a minute later and died with her real name: Saname Hina.

The Sarafists broke up some time after that. I don't know if they were aware of Sarah/Saname Hina's suicide or if they all decided that I was, or possibly that Sara/Nagare Yuiko, killed her. Or if they even spoke of the whole thing after knowing the victories they gained. In any case, I didn't see any of the members until the 1960's, and even then they were no longer the group that they used to be. It was a much smaller group with much less support. The leader Sara (She was Yuiko Nagare until the 1970's when she married and changed her name to Yukiko Ichikawa Nagasei, so the records say.) didn't turn up until 1969 when she worked as a prostitute, for some reason (Couldn't she have found something better than that?) and later in 1986 when she became a common housewife.

I remember after that meeting with the cult. I took a nail and punctured it into the middle of my palm. I just found the closest one lying around and I took it. I stared at it for a moment. I thought of the things that made those women do what they did, thought of you being the main obstacle in their way. Just thought of the hideousness that was you that should have been erased. My head started to pound. I began to think that there was one thing I could have done at the moment. All I could do was drive it through my palm, the excruciating pain of it going through the nerves in my hand... And I watched as it went through and pierced through the other side of my hand. I could feel the blood, warm, dripping down off my hand, down my arm, just dripping into emptiness.

"What did you do to your hand?" Kirin asked as if it were just a broken arm. His eyes were wide when he saw what I did to myself. And I knew he knew that I did it to myself. No one else would have been able to do it me.

I couldn't think of another way of putting it. I held it up and stared at it some more. "I punished myself. I knew I was weak. I always was weak. I needed them to punish me for my sins. I couldn't do it myself." That being said, I started to push it in and out of my palm, feeling the pain, watching as some of the flesh and skin rolled off with the nail's movement.

He held out a hand to get me to stop. But he felt too much that he couldn't touch me. I knew that. He just held out a hand. The best that he could say was, "You should get yourself some rest. You don't sound like you're feeling that good right now." His voice wavered in fear. He never saw this kind of thing happen before and maybe he never felt this way before. He really has a long way to go. "I'll find someone to fix that wound. It looks... painful. I don't think you want something like that to get infected either."

"A scratch can heal in an hour or two. A cut can heal in a day or two. A gash could heal in a year or more. But they all scar nonetheless. What's a scar to a dying man anyway?"

He still didn't understand.

-.-.-
But it was only fantasy
The wall was too high as you can see
No matter how he tried he could not break free
And the worms ate into his brain
-Pink Floyd (Hey You)
-.-.-

It was a cemetery. It used to be a village but now it's only a valley of ashes. Still to this day, it's that way. It still looks the way it that day. Something that a photographer would masturbate to when it comes to award winning images- an anemic woman crawled to her emaciated husband. She saw he was long dead and cried the last tears she had. She cried, even though she knew that she had nothing left to let her do that. All I saw was two skeletons embracing in hell.

A teenaged boy ran out into the open dropping his shotgun as he did. He ran to us with open arms. "Mama!" Then he fell face flat into the ground. This skinny boy was delusional. This boy was a skeleton too. I was surprised he fit in the uniform he was wearing. The boy continued to moan for his mother. Then it came to an abrupt stop. Kirin walked to the boy, rolled him over, holding down his limps, and checked his breathing.

"Still breathing," Kirin said to himself. "Take him... He could be useful."

When he came to, I talked to him. I always did that just for no apparent reason. I used to think it was a good way to get into the enemy's heads, and it made it even easier to figure out how to fight the enemy. This way we could more easily know what makes them tick. This time was different. This time was more like understanding... Well, I don't know what I was fighting to understand, actually.

When the prisoner saw me come in, he leapt to the door. He screamed again, "Mama! Mama!" Then he realized it was just me. The dream was over for him at that point apparently. It took him a few moments to realize that it was. "...No, you're not."

And that killed me. It really did. It tore me for some reason. I still don't know why. "No. I just wanted to say..."

He grabbed the bandages on my face, held them tightly in his hand, daring me to try and stop him, and tore them off. He watched in some strange amusement to see the weak face that could have been hiding behind the mask. Instead of finding something to attack he saw me. He saw a woman. He stared at me with disbelief. "And you're not a man. Are you really Mukuro?"

There's no more room for lies here. "Yes. Since we're introducing ourselves, care to tell me your name?"

The boy shook his head too vigorously. I was actually waiting for his neck to snap in half from the force of it turning, from the weakness in his thin bones... "No. I'm no man anymore. Just call me Skeleton Man if you need to call me anything at all. You wanna know why thy call me Skeleton Man." He rolled up his sleeve to show his arm was only skin and bone to prove his point. He went silent. "You gotta knife on you?"

"Yes. Why?" I knew the answer. We both knew the answer.

"Can I have it?"

"No."

"Keeping it for yourself?"

"No. I don't... Want to kill myself." I said it almost mechanically. No, I did say it mechanically. I said it because I had to. "Don't do it. You can come with me and..."

"And what then? Would it make you love me? I got no Mama, anymore, because of you. I'm with Raizen and you're Mukuro. What the hell can you give me? Are you gonna make me your son or something? Or are you sick or something and make me your... No, you won't do that. I know you won't. I can see that you're not that person. But I still don't see what you can give me. What are you gonna give me? Can you take away the pain? You wanna know what my life's been turned into because of you...? So do you really think you could replace my mother...? Do you?" I couldn't answer. His face lost color and looked like he was on the verge of tears. I suppose he really wanted me to say that I could just take him in as one of my own. Take him in and replace his... "That's what I thought."

It was silent. I really can't say anything to that. I really can't. "It's hot as hell in here."

"Really now? For me it's always like this. It's always hell for me. It's always me against someone and me always being held down. Mama always protected me... And you know, I'm an asshole because I can't do the same for her. I never did the same for her. I never actually gave her anything back. I never did..." He stared at me and banged a fist on the table. "It's not fair... You look like her. You look like my mom. Almost to the last hair. Except the eyes and the scars. But you look like my damn mom. And you killed her. It's your fault. But still..." He shook his head. "It kinda makes me... It makes me want to find something to live for. But sometimes..." He pulled a pistol from a coat pocket and pointed it to his head. "You know sometimes, I just want to-"

"Hey don't-" -pull the trigger! He already did. The bullet beat me to his brain. I put the bandages on my face (The room didn't have windows. That might also be why there was a high death rate for prisoners of war now that I think about it.) and walked out. And there were no nails this time.

Kirin heard the shot and asked me what happened. I only told him to bury Skeleton Man. I remembered why. I saw myself in those eyes. I was that child in desperation. He was me. And a siren went off in the distance.

For you, Skeleton Man.

-.-.-
Hey you don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand Divided we fall
-Pink Floyd (Hey You)

Notes: Fuck. This was weird to edit and I don't care. I liked Silent Hill 2 too much back then. ...And caps lock.