PART ELEVEN
"You think you two can talk any time soon? It would be great if you could work things out." I was terrified by the thought of talking to Billie Joe. But a part of me – and I don't know how big that part might be – desperately wanted to do that. "I don't know. I guess I'm scared. No, I'm terrified." Josh smiled at me warmly. "Terrified of what? You've finally embraced reality. That should make you stronger." I'm beginning to see what an amazing friend Josh is. He's really trying to make things easier for me.
I felt something burning up inside me. My sanity was switched off. But for once I knew what I have to do. "I really need to talk to him." Josh smiled at my thoughts. "I should go to Rod's. Maybe he's hanging around." Josh put his hands on my shoulders, like he was trying to get me back to Earth. "Annie, in case you haven't noticed, it's raining like hell out here. Maybe you should talk to him tomorrow." I looked at him, still feeling the burning fire inside me. "I can't wait, Josh. I have to tell him now." I ran off the porch and quickly unlocked my car. I sat inside it and drive away. The last thing I saw behind me was Josh smiling.
The drive to Rod's seemed like an eternity. I nearly hit one of the cars in the parking lot, but I was too distracted to care. I ran inside and started looking for a known face. By the bar I noticed a shorter guy doing shots. I remembered him. He was the drummer that said 'kind of' all the time. I walked towards him and started talking right away. "Hi, you're Tre, right?" He looked at me and I could see he's tipsy. "I can be whoever you want me to be, honey." I ignored his comment. I didn't have time to give him a lesson right now. "Any idea where Billie Joe is?" I got right to the point. I had no time to waste. "He said he's gonna take a walk. Don't know where exactly, but he can't be far away." He had another shot and the alcohol was getting to his head. But he was the only one that could tell me anything. "Thanks." I was brief and walked – well, more like ran – out the door. I heard Tre talk to someone. "Wasn't that Bill's girl?" That made me smile for some reason. I figured I should walk. I didn't care about the rain; I just wanted to do what my heart was telling me to do, like Josh said. I walked for a few blocks without success. I was loosing hope and even the strength to go on. My phone vibrated again, another text message. It said "It's not worth giving up." Josh again. He knows me so well. The phone was already soaked from the rain, so I put it away. I walked on, telling myself that this is the right thing to do. At the corner of the street I looked around. On the left I saw someone walking. He was pretty far away, but I could tell he was wearing a leather jacket. His quite long, dark hair was – logically – wet. I'm not sure, but I think he had a guitar strapped on his back. My heart was going insane. I knew it was him. Who else would go for a walk in the pouring rain? What do I do now?
"Bill!" I didn't like calling him that, but I wasn't even sure if he heard me or not, so who cares. He stopped for a second and slowly began to turn around. I was as nervous as ever. Now he was looking my way. I had no idea what to do. We were two people, standing on the street in the rain, trying to reach out to each other. Trying to explain the unexplainable – which is, our feelings. I made a couple of steps forward and tried to keep myself from running right towards him. "I'm sorry!" I shouted, but my voice seemed weak. An apology was the least I could say to him. My breathing got deeper when I noticed he took a few steps my way. But we were still fairly distanced. "I'm sorry too." I couldn't believe his words. He was sorry? What for? For all that stuff years ago? He was forgiven the first day; I just wouldn't let him know that. I felt tears in my eyes. I stepped closer again. "I don't hate you. I never did. I just couldn't tell you. You're just so… Different." It was harder to speak with every word. It was impossible to express what I feel in words. He got close to me and I could finally see his face. Raindrops running down his hair to his face, his green eyes that were as clear as the sky on a sunny day and what seemed like a little smile on his lips. The only word that could describe what I saw was beautiful. There were no other words for him. "What about Hudson? I'm not exactly his favorite person." Hearing his voice was like the sweetest serenade. I could hardly focus on his question. "He's the reason I'm here. I would've never had the guts to come here if he wouldn't help me. He understands. He's my friend." He looked slightly confused, but the smile on his face didn't go anywhere.
"You're fuckin' nuts, you know that? I mean, you can catch a hell of a cold like this." Now I smiled too. "Yeah, but so can you, so we're even." He laughed quietly. I looked for his hand and wrapped his fingers with mine. I felt his other hand around my waist, pulling me even closer. He kissed me softly. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, then rested my hand on the back of his neck. For the very first time I felt this is where I belong.