Author's Note: FINALLY. I first want to thank all those who have read, reviewed, favorited, followed, and supported this story. I apologize for the delay. I'm loving my classes, but Graduate School is killing my time (and sanity. Guess I can relate to Mikey on that level). I know how I want the next chapter to be, but I'm unsure of how long it will take me. Hopefully, much quicker than last time! I'm looking forward to getting deeper into what's really happening in the story. I just want to thank you all again for your support! It gets me going! Please feel free to message me if you have any thoughts as well, reviews are always appreciated! Also, I'm more so on my tumblr if you wish to follow me as well (the same username as my account here!). Once again, thank you all again so so so much. I'll see you next chapter!

Disclaimer: Song quote from, "Safe & Sound" (By Civil Wars ft. Taylor Swift). I do not own TMNT.

...

A Turtle and His Sisyphus

…..….

"I remember you said, don't leave me here alone"

...

"My sons." Splinter's voice halted the room. "We're in a desperate position. I am not comfortable putting my sons at anymore danger than you four already are. We must also remember that it was not the mask that you wore during that time that created the distance in our family. You four understand the risks. As a father, I wish to take you all away until it is once again safe to return. As your Sensei, I believe Leonardo is correct. As long as you four protect each other, I trust in his judgment. For now, we will rest and prepare for tonight. Leonardo, you must rest. Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, we will continue with training. I fear that we are underestimating our enemy; we must be prepared for anything at any moment. Bishop is a manipulative and vindictive man. I will not sit by and watch you four be at risk like you were years ago with him. We must prepare your mind, and body, for this task. Otherwise, a fate worse than death will befall on us all."

/././././././././././././././././././

"Leo? What are you most afraid of?"

The question caught him off guard. "I…I don't know, Mikey. Why?"

"You aren't afraid of anything. I want to know how you can do that!"

"That's not true. I do get scared. I'm afraid…of you guys getting hurt."

"Dude, that happens anyway! Like all the time, bro! It doesn't mean it wasn't your fault That's not really what you're most afraid of, is it?"

It was. It still is.

And Bishop knows it. I won't let him use that against me.

Not this time. I'll show him what happens when he messes with my family.

/./././././././././././././././././././

It's been a few hours since the training with Sensei. I haven't felt this exhausted in a long time. Maybe it's just been a long time since I've felt that pushed in a training— not that Leo didn't do it either! Maybe I am more tired than I thought…

"My son, I thought you were getting some rest."

Donatello jumped from his seat. Standing at his doorway was Splinter. Unlike how he looked in the past weeks, Splinter stood tall and stronger than before. It put his mind at ease to see his Sensei looking a lot better. At least he didn't have to worry about him anymore.

Just a million and one other things….

"I'm sorry, Sensei. I did, I just…I still want to run a couple of more test on this encryption before tonight. I'll get rest when I'm done, honest." Donnie felt himself fluster. He knew he couldn't fool Splinter. Sitting back down in his chair, he turned back into his work.

"Donatello," Splinter approached him, placing his paw on his shoulder. "You have worked the hardest these last weeks. You need to allow yourself a moment of peace. If your brothers need you, I will assist. You must go rest. Now."

"Okay, okay." Donnie hated leaving his work unfinished, but with Splinter starting him down? Guess I have no choice after all…

/././././././././././././././././././

"Donnie? What makes you scared?"

"Huh? Mikey, I'm really really busy—if you're getting ammunition for April Fool's again…"

"What? No! I already have it planned for Raph. I was just wondering, that's all…"

"Uh, okay. I guess….Making a bad mistake?"

"Dude, we all make mistakes. I mean, maybe I do more than you, but everyone does it! You're really scared of doing what everyone else does?"

I don't think of it that way. There's a lot more riding on me then you think, Mikey. I can't make a mistake. If I make a mistake, it'll cost more than the mission. It could be your lives. All because I made a bad call.

I can't make a mistake. This time, I'll be prepared for Bishop. He won't outsmart me. I'll make him second-guess himself.

I'll surpass him.

/././././././././././././././././././

Leonardo quick-stepped away from his brother's hit.

"So," Raphael said smugly. "Karai."

"So, what?" Leonardo retorted defensively. Quickly striking from his brother's side.

"So, do you two usually meet in the dead of night or…?"

Leonardo scowled. "Whatever you're implying, enough of it. Focus. Your recovery is weak."

"Did I strike a nerve?" Raphael mocked, picking up his pace. The blunt of his sai collided with Leonardo's sword. "Ya can tell me the dirty details, bro. I won't say anythin'!"

"Enough!" Leonardo dodged Raphael's attack, striking him right in the side causing Raph to fall to his side. "You're going right in on the action, alone. You need to be ready for anything."

"Damn it, Leo!" Raphael growled. As if he didn't beat me down before, damn it! He knew Leo was pissed, and scared. But that didn't give him a right to feel so righteous. Rising back up, he struck back at his brother. He had the upper hand—he was fast, hitting his brother right down. "Guess I'm ready after all."

"Looks like it. Good attack." Leo got back up on his feet. "The last time we did this, things got tense, huh?"

"Yeah," Raphael chuckled, returning his Sai to his side. "Ya were being a dick."

"Right." Leonardo rolled his eyes. "Anyway, are you going to be alright tonight?"

"Sure," Raphael shrugged. Being the Nightwatcher wasn't any different for him. Maybe he was a bit more violent, and ruthless. But in a way, it was a part of him. Putting on the suit made him different, he knew that. But he's not the same person anymore. "The faster we find Bishop, the faster he can get what's comin' to him."

/././././././././././././././././././

Just a few more hours until tonight.

Raphael still felt sore from the training this morning. Splinter pushed them hard; way harder than Leo did over the past few weeks. While his oldest brother fought to stay with training, Splinter ordered him best rest. Fearless is probably still passed out. Or secretly training in his room alone. Eh, I'd put my money on defiantly not sleeping.

Donnie was probably just as exhausted as Raph. Though, he refused to rest. He too has retreated to his space, keeping his empty promise of rest. Probably still looking through that weird tech with Leatherhead. I better check on him later, that dork won't get any sleep if someone doesn't push him into it.

Raph was most surprised with Mikey's eagerness to train, being way more involved than he thought he'd be. He was focus, driven, and faster. Hell, he even beat him twice in a spar match. Hell, I was going easy on him at first. He's really taking this in. He barley looked tired. I wouldn't be either after what he's going through.

Raphael absentmindedly twirled his sai around his hand. He hated waiting. He knew better than to think this was easy. Karai handing them information on a silver platter? Stupid. Since when has she ever looked out for us? The hell is Leo thinking? Then again. Not like we have anything else to lead to.

He slowly glanced over at his youngest brother, who was stretched out across the couch trying to find something to watch. Besides his shoulder still wrapped up, he seemed like he was his normal self again. It made him feel better, at least. After all, Don did say he would eventually be back to himself. But he knew better than that too…

Donnie's voice cracked. "If this is a trap, we're sending Raph right in it. What if he gets drugged, or worse? Mikey can still relapse, we want to add Raph's danger on top of it?"

The hell is Bishop waiting for? He could have taken Mikey, Leo, hell even Splinter if he wanted to. What the hell is he waiting for…?

"So," Michelangelo's voice was quiet as he continued to flip through the channels. "how'd you convince Leo to let you be Nightwatcher again?"

"Didn't need to." Raphael shrugged. "Well, sort of. I can get in and out, it's not like I didn't do it before as the Nightwatcher."

"You're not like, worried?" Michelangelo slowly asked. "What if it is a trap?"

Raphael sighed. He knew how worried they were, even when he was the Nightwatcher, and no matter how mad Don was, the two of them always gave him that look. Easing up, he offered a small smile. "Then you guys are right behind me, this time. I can take care of myself, Mikey. Ya shouldn't have to worry about that, y'know."

"Doesn't mean we don't." Michelangelo said irritably. "Then again, it's not the first time you go off doing whatever you want. You never really cared about anything, or anyone for that matter."

The hell? Raphael's eyes widened. What was his problem? Feeling his anger rise, he slowly walked over to his brother. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Huh?" Mikey blinked. His eyes looked duller. His voice was soft, his head tilting in confusion, "Dude, what's wrong? I was just asking if you were worried, geez…"

"No you weren't. You said…?" Raphael noticed his brother's demeanor completely shift. His eyes narrowed onto the screen, a grimace stretched across his face. He was clearly upset. Mikey sat up on the couch, settling on some channel. Raphael sat on the sofa chair next to Mikey. "Uh…Ya okay? Seem kind of…off."

Michelangelo immediately loosened up, forcing a smile back. "Huh? Yeah, I'm good."

He's such a shitty lair. Hanging out with me so much as kids, you'd think he'd be better.

"Really?" Raphael dully retorted. He wasn't buying it.

"Ugh," Mikey began rubbing his template, as he rose to his feet. "Huh? Sorry, bro. I feel weird, think it's my shoulder again. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

Weird? That's never a good thing. Damn it. Better get him to talk before anythin'.

"Not so fast." Raphael reached for his brother's arm, quickly grasping it. "You're not getting away that-."

Suddenly Mikey's hand gripped onto Raphael's with a tight squeeze. Slowly, he began twisting it back. His voice deepened, a sinister smile stretched across his face. It was almost like he was enjoying seeing his brother flinch in pain. "You know what? I don't owe you a single thing, Raphael. Back. Off."

"The fuck?" Raphael shoved Mikey off his arm. Finally releasing his grip on him, Raph took a couple of steps back. "What's your problem?!"

"You are." Twisting his brother's hand harder, he kicked Raphael in the gut. Sending him straight to the ground.

"What the fuck?!" Raphael didn't care that his hand hurt. He was fuming. Bouncing back on his feet, he tackled his younger brother right to the ground. "I don't know what the fuck is into you, but snap out of it!"

Mikey's head his the ground hard. His eyes snapped, staring right back at Raph. "W-What? What…happened? Raph? Are you okay? W-What's going on…?"

"Oh Raphael…You didn't stop Leonardo from abandoning your family. You couldn't stop Donatello's infection from nearly killing him, and if I recall correctly you needed my help. You think you can stop Michelangelo when he's already gone?"

No. He's not. He's here!

"Me? What about you?" Raphael kept him pinned him down. How could he snap and not remember? Was he relapsing again? It scared him, but being angry was just easier. "YOU attacked me! You don't remember?!"

"No…?" Mikey's face flushed. His skin getting paler. It was happening again. "Raph? I'm…I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I thought I was just going to bed, I wanted to be alone—I didn't mean to! AH!"

Michelangelo reached for his head, gripping it tightly. Realizing his brother's pain, Raphael quickly jumped off. "Mikey? What's wrong?! Shit!"

"What is going on here?!" Splinter's voice echoed, as he rushed to his youngest at his side. "Raphael, what happened to your brother?"

"I-I don't know!" Raphael exclaimed, watching Mikey grimace in pain. "H-He snapped at me and attacked me!"

Leonardo and Donatello weren't far behind, rushing to Raphael. His eyes darted from him to Mikey, his mind trying to wrap around the chaos around him. "Raph, what's going on?"

"My sons, help me bring your brother into the dojo. I'm afraid we may lose him again."

/././././././././././././././././././

Life is so cruel. Maybe I should say more so ironic since I'm a mutant ninja turtle who lives in the sewers trying to live a some-what average life— not exactly normal. Hell, maybe that's being a little dramatic, huh? After all, I have my family and friends—not many people do. Saying that life is so negative is degrading everythin' Sensei and my bro's do.

Let me rephrase that.

Master Splinter used to say that sometimes, we can't control what happens but we can control what affects us. I didn't really understand, or care really, what he meant at the time. Leo likes to plan ahead, coordinating every single step. Don, he's real good at thinkin' on the spot; and he's quick to react. Mikey's creative, and optimistic enough for all of us—no matter how annoying it can get.

No matter what, we always pull through. We always seem to get by.

That was, until Leo was injured a couple of years ago. Everything in that moment became real; that we are, what my brothers and I do, how in a split second our lives can be completely altered—It was a shell shock. Ugh, no pun intended. But, it was really at that moment that we all began to see what Sensei saw.

We are vulnerable. We always will be.

It's crazy that no matter how hard we can train, or now strong we are. In a second. Everything can change.

"Raphie, what are you most afraid of?"

"Nothing!" I was a really cocky kid. "It's stupid to be scared. If ya strong, there's nothin' to be afraid of! Like Sensei!"

"B-But…We all get scared of something! You're afraid of bugs!"

"DO NOT!" I had to defend myself, otherwise I'd never hear the end of it. And I never did. "They're just gross! I'm afraid of nothin'!"

"Raphie? C-Can you teach me how to not be afraid?"

/././././././././././././././././././

I remember being really tired. Flipping through the TV didn't do me much good, anyway. Leo was probably meditating. Donnie was probably researching. Raph was probably just playing with his Sai- oh yeah, he was.

I remember thinking a lot about tonight. Raph being the Nightwatcher again? Possibly getting closer to more info-? It's like everything was totally coming together!

Until I got a headache. I just wanted to sleep.

Then I was on the ground, Raph was yelling at me. I can't remember why.

Now, I'm here. So is Sensei, and Leo, and Raph. Wonder where….What was his name again?

Anyway, now I'm in the dojo. They're all staring at me nervously. Splinter is trying to say something to me, but there's so much going on I can't even focus-!

"My son, I want you to try and focus on your energy. Find peace in your mind. Pain is only in your mind. Release yourself from it, Michelangelo." Splinter calmly reached out his paw. "Take my hand, my son. Let us help you. "

I hesitated. Something, something made me hesitate. I wanted to trust him, something told me not to. He looks so desperate.

"Michelangelo, trust me. Close your eyes, take my hand."

"Trust me, my son." Wait. This happened before…I remember…

"You must atone for what you have done."

W-What did I do, father?

"Listen to my. Your brothers are gone because of your actions. You ruined this family, my family. If you wish to see them again, you will do as I say. Understood?"

I reached out to him. Squeezing his hand tight.

"Michelangelo. Focus on your feeling. Squeeze my hand if you are afraid, know that I am physically right here. Tell me. What do you see?"

"Listen to me carefully, the Shredder has taken your brothers. Because of you. They are not who you think they are."

Everything went black.

"I-It's dark. What…What brothers? I…I don't have…Brothers?"

Raphael, sitting beside Splinter, began to feel his stomach turn. Looking over on the other side of Splinter, Leonardo inched closer to Michelangelo. His eyes were wide, just as afraid as he was. And all he could do was watch.

"You have brothers, my son. What are their names?"

"…And to think. I originally wanted to use Leonardo. Though, it would be very interesting to assess his willpower…"

"Leonardo. H-He…He waned to use Leonardo. 'I want to assess his willpower'."

Donatello sat next to Raphael, impatiently feeling the tension in the room sink into him. He should have found an antidote faster. He should have fixed this. Please, Sensei. Help him.

Raphael saw his brother flitch at his name. Michelangelo's demeanor had completely changed. He was stiff, firm, while still holding Splinter's hand, he was still.

Leonardo shifted uncomfortably at the sound of his name. Bishop…he wanted me? Then damn it, why didn't he take me?! Why my brother?!

"Yes, my son, Leonardo is your brother. What are the other two's names?"

I think I can trust Splinter…I don't want to think anymore. It doesn't matter. They aren't real, right?

"They don't need you anymore."

"My son, what about your brothers?"

"You family is gone. All your doing. They didn't need you. They used you."

I felt like I was falling. It was so dark. Splinter's voice was getting further away.

"U-Used me! They used me!" Michelangelo exclaimed painfully, squeezing his father's fragile hand harder. "They never needed me!"

"Michelangelo," Splinter begged, tightening his grip on his son. "You are stronger than you believe. Your mind is clouded with doubts, you must remember who you are."

"Michelangelo. Do. As. I. Command."

I was falling. Everything was dark.

I no longer felt his hand.

/./././././././././././././././

"Mikey!" Leonardo was the first to react. Michelangelo began to fall backward, collapsing on the ground. Jumping from his place, he couldn't grab his brother in time. "Sensei! What happened?!"

"I tried to calm his mind," Splinter said snakingly. "He is fighting so hard. But, I'm afraid he is loosing the fight. There's something more at play. I'm afraid…There isn't much I can do."

"No," Raphael's voice cracked. "Sensei, there's gotta be something! Anything!"

"He could have killed you Raphael, surely you sensed that." Splinter admitted, pain stinging in his voice. "I will not give up, my sons. But we are running out of time."

"We can't bring him like this." Leonardo felt helpless watching his youngest brother. "Don, maybe you should stay with Mikey. I'll go with Raph, I'll call Casey and ask him to come with me. Maybe in a couple of hours he'll be okay, but I don't think I can risk this happening topside…"

"Maybe Bishop wants him to stay here." Donnie's voice broke nervously. "Bishop got down here before. Maybe he wants us to leave him behind like we did before. We still have some time before the meeting tonight, maybe after rest Mikey will be okay to go."

"So if he relapses topside, then what?" Raphael retorted. "I can't help, and he could snap and attack you guys up there! Don, leaving him here is his safest-!"

"Enough!" Leonardo exclaimed. "Sensei, we'll try to do what we can to help Mikey for now. Regardless of what happens tonight, we're getting answers. For Mikey's sake. Sensei's right. We're running out of time."

/./././././././././././././././././