Rating: M

A/N: -looks at last update date and winces- I'm really, really sorry for taking so long -__-; Too. Many. Stories. Ngh.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

How Long is Forever?

Chapter 11

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I settled into the spring Axel had chosen. He'd wanted to go for the most remote one since Demyx and Zexion were in the one closest to the front, which was just fine with me.

I exhaled, smiling as I did and suppressing a shudder. The hot water all around me felt absolutely amazing.

"Okay," I called out, glancing elsewhere and signaling that I was ready. Axel had turned around while I was getting… situated… at my request. I was returning the courtesy and looking away. I heard him enter the pool and felt the water ripple as he approached me but still didn't look at him.

"You know," he said, pausing in front of me, "I already said that you could look at me." I blushed then looked at him uncertainly, thankful that he was kneeling and that the water came up to his waist.

"I k-know you d-did," I replied. He grinned in response. "What?"

"You're so cute when you're nervous," he replied. I blushed as he sat next to me, hating Demyx for his 'choice'. "Relax, Rox, enjoy yourself… That's why we're here." I nodded slowly, sliding down more and letting the water come up to my shoulders. A long silence ensued.

"What're you thinking about?" he finally asked. I glanced up at him. He looked genuinely curious so I decided to indulge him.

"More like wondering."

"About..?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah," I said, glancing away.

"What about me?" I laughed lightly.

"Well…" I began, "everything, I suppose." I saw him nod in my peripheral vision.

"Rightly so…" he said as our eyes locked. He looked conflicted again as well as... frightened?

"It's later," I remarked. The red-head looked at me questioningly. "What do you do for a living?" I asked, watching him carefully. Axel bit his lower lip.

"N-no Rox, I… I can't."

"Why? What are you so afraid of?!" I started questioning, stopping when he closed his eyes, looking ill as he slid further into the water. "What do you have to lose?" I asked softly.

"You!" he yelled, making me jump at the outburst. Our eyes locked as he gripped my shoulders, pulling me closer to make sure that I was listening. "If I lost you… It'd kill me," he whispered. I grasped either side of his face, sighing softly.

"Really? You're doing something horrible enough that it'd drive me away?" I asked coaxingly. The red-head remained silent. "Did I know about it before?" I asked. He nodded hesitantly. "And I'm still here, aren't I?" Axel didn't answer refusing to meet my gaze.

"Remember that I said I'd ask if I wanted help remembering something?" I asked, "Well I'm asking now because I really want to know! …Please?"

"Why is what I do so important?" I shook my head.

"It's not just what you do. I want to know anything and everything about you. Because I don't just want what's on the exterior. I want to know what you're like on the inside too and what events have made you the person you are today," I said, leaning closer yet and staring into his eyes daringly. "I want to know more about the man I loved enough to marry," I whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. I felt his grip loosen as I moved to his ear, "and when I finally tell you that I love you again," I said in his ear, "you can be sure that I love every single part of you and will never have to worry about that changing because you left something out."

I pulled back, watching him intently. "So can you please do that for me?" Axel bit his lower lip then opened his mouth, closed it, looking like he was going to be sick again, and then reopened it as he looked away.

"I run the largest, most powerful gang in Hallow Bastion."

I was staring. I knew I was.

"You… you run a ga— how exactly did we meet?!" I asked, mind reeling.

"I guess I saved you."

"Saved me? From what?! How?!"

"The other person I'm sure you're dying to know about," he said, watching me carefully. I nodded slowly, letting what he was saying sink in and knew that he was talking about Vexen.

"Who was he? An abusive boyfriend? Or what?" I asked. Steely emerald locked with my sapphire.

"I'm not telling you, Rox."

"But-"

"No," he said, eyes darkening. "You can pout, get angry, hate me for it, hit me, whatever, but I'm not telling you and I hope that you never remember."

"I have a right to know." Axel glanced away.

"I know you do… but I want what's best for you." I scoffed at him.

"There you go again, assuming what's best for me!" The red-head sighed before running a hand through his hair.

"Trust me, please. I know it's hard to be understanding right now but please try. This time I'm right."

"If you're so set on believing that then excuse me," I said, reaching for my towel and wrapping it around myself as I stood. The red-head closed his eyes but otherwise didn't move until I started to get out of the spring. I froze, petrified, when he stood as well and wrapped his arms around me from behind, blushing as he pulled me into his chest and our bodies pressed together. I knew that he had no intention of releasing me by the way he was holding me.

"Rox, wait, please…"

"L-let go."

"Not yet."

"Why?"

"I want you to know why I'm telling you 'no' and why I have and will continue assuming what's best for you." I nodded slowly, "It's…" he said softly, "It's because I want you to be happy. Because I want to protect you from getting hurt again, because… you didn't deserve what happened to you and now that you can't remember it, it's like it never did."

"What happened to me?" I whispered as he turned me around in his arms, already knowing what his answer was going to be and wishing with all my might that I could remember.

"I…" I sighed, irritated. Just because he wanted me to forget didn't mean that it never happened.

"Let me guess, you won't tell me."

I felt his chin rest on top of my head and glared at his chest. "It's for the best not to tell you…" I was about to protest but he continued, "…for now. I'll tell you everything when I think that you're ready."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you thought I was lying to you at any point in time, then I wouldn't be surprised if you left me." I nodded slowly. I knew that he didn't want that. "I'm willing to compromise. For you."

I sighed, knowing that that was the best I was probably going to get. "Okay," I whispered, looking up at his face and realizing how tense he was for the first time. I bit my lower lip. "I'm stressing you out, aren't I?"

Axel laughed nervously. "Yes." Great. We were supposed to be relaxing and I was making him a nervous wreck.

"I'm sorry," I replied. It was a wonder I hadn't given him gray hair, I thought, guiltily. "I just… I don't want you to protect me from every little thing. I need to be able to experience life- the good and the bad parts."

"I know you do," he whispered. "And I want you to know- what I'm protecting you from isn't little." I felt myself tense when my chin was forcibly raised. "I think I'm letting you experience a lot, considering. You don't have much of a memory, Rox."

"I know enough," I whispered as our eyes locked. "I can handle the truth- I'm not as fragile as you seem to think I am." The red-head smiled, shaking his head as his emerald bore into my sapphire.

"All you really know, and seem to want to know, is me and some of what our life consists of. You don't seem to have much of a desire to be with your friends or to learn about and resume the life you had before."

"Maybe I don't want to." Axel closed his eyes, going silent for a long time. "Maybe I just want to be with you. Why can't you be enough?"

"Because focusing, fixating, entirely on one person isn't healthy."

"But what if I want you to be my entire world?" Those green eyes snapped open and the red-head stared outright. He stared harder but didn't resist when I gripped his neck and pulled him closer. I felt his pulse quicken.

"Why?" He was debating, weighing, calculating. I could tell by the look on his face.

"Because you're kind… care about my well being… mysterious… beautiful… you're perfect."

After a moment or two, the red-head closed his eyes and chuckled. "Oh. I see… you're infatuated…"

I pouted up at him. "That's not nice," I whispered, "Saying that my feelings are superficial." Axel leant in closely, gripped my neck and pressed his lips to mine. When I didn't resist, he immediately deepened the kiss, pulling back after a moment or two.

"Sounds like it to me," he murmured against my lips. I gasped again, tremoring as his tongue ran down my neck as he pulled me to himself, making sure I wouldn't go anywhere. I moaned as he began to nibble then bite and suckle the skin.

"I…no it-ah," I whimpered, biting my lower lip.

"Then why are you placing me on a pedestal?" he whispered in my ear. "Why do you let me- want me to- kiss you?" I gasped again, realizing that he was trying to prove his point, before moaning and arching my back as hands grasped my waist. "Why do you let me touch you… when you barely know me still?" It was true. I barely knew him- hell, I'd just let him come back into our bedroom last night… but it didn't feel that way.

"A-axe-el," I whimpered, shaking as those hands travelled ever-so-slowly lower, fingers running down my abdomen, along my naval, traveling lower and lower before stopping short. The red-head chuckled dangerously, making tremors go up and down my spine then paused, obviously waiting for an answer.

"I-I don't know," I admitted, mind fuzzy. "I do barely know you…" I whispered, "but I yearn to remember, and when we're not together, I feel like there's a gaping hole where my heart should be. I need you, I want you, more than I should… and it scares and excites me at the same time."

"You want me… and you don't even know why?" I nodded, closing my eyes.

"Very much. I think that the feelings that I had for you before are resurfacing, because I can see why I fell in love with you. I'm not placing you on a pedestal. You're a good, genuine, person." The red-head sighed, making a face.

"No I'm not-- I run a gang and kill people, sweetheart. I'm still surprised that we ended up together," he whispered, releasing me before likewise gripping his towel and wrapping it around himself. I shook my head in disagreement as he did, angry that he was still denying how wonderful he was after all this time.

"Weren't you forced to become the leader of it after your grandfather died?" Axel's eyes widened but I didn't stop, intent on scolding him, "And I really don't see why you're 'still surprised' that I chose you. You've shown me many times that you're generous and will do anything for someone, or something that you care about." He stared in disbelief.

"R-rox-?"

"Besides, I've already told you. It doesn't matter to me that you're running a gang or that you've killed people- I like you for who you are and I won't judge you based on your past. So don't feed me that 'I'm a bad person, you don't deserve me,' nonsense! Just by looking into your eyes, I can tell that-" I stopped talking when he grasped either side of my face. I looked at him questioningly. "…Axel?" I asked, just before he closed the space between us and his lips pressed to mine. I closed my eyes, tremoring against him—I could almost taste the emotion behind it: pure bliss. All I could do was stare in shock even after he pulled away and wonder what I'd done.

"Roxas… my Roxas…" He whispered decidedly, smiling as our noses brushed, making my heart pound. "You're remembering me again." I closed my eyes as his lips engulfed mine once again, feeling myself melt, gasping when he broke away too soon.

"I s-suppose I am," I whispered back, looking at him searchingly. He smiled widely.

"You've no idea, how happy that makes me." Actually, I did have an idea, I thought, and returned the smile then pouted at him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not infatuated." The red-head laughed at that.

"I'm sorry for saying your feelings were superficial." I smiled again.

"Then I'll forgive you… eventually." Axel gaped.

"But-" I smirked at him.

"I'll forgive you on my terms not yours." He pouted and I resisted the urge to hug him. "C'mon Mr. Badass Gang Leader. Let's go do something that involves you staying dry-- I want to see what else there is to do here that doesn't involve us being naked." The red-head mirrored my look.

"Nervous about being together, all alone, naked?" I swallowed. The way he said that seemed vaguely familiar.

"Maybe." Axel chuckled then kissed my forehead.

"You're so cute," he whispered, stepping out of the spring, and offering his hand to me. I took it and he helped me out. "You know, you don't have to worry about things like that, right? I won't push you into doing anything you don't want to. Even if it involves remembering who you were."

"Why?"

"Because I love you enough to place your desires above mine."

"A-axel…" I whispered. He smiled at me fondly.

"Come on, since you want to see what else there is to see. How about we start off with a massage with hot rocks?" I closed my eyes, shivering and wondering if I'd ever had one before then gripped his hand more tightly.

"Okay."

--

-TBC-

A/N: Hello all. Sorry again for the delay and if you've been patiently waiting on me ):

In regards to the story—I like where it's going. NOT A CLUE on how long it'll be and I might write another after this one that ties in: Reckoning, How long is Forever?, ?????

Also. If you're looking for a good read and enjoy supernatural (like me)—or just a good read (not all of her stories are supernatural)--, checkout BeehiveOneThreeZer0. Currently—I'm obsessing on her writing.

But two stories specifically that are very good: Ketchup by: BeehiveOneThreeZer0 and Rookie by: XbuttonsX.

Anyhow. About the update: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?