Chapter 11

Beverly hesitated inside the doorway. Lieutenant Commander T'Sara was still conversing with Yar, and she hadn't expected this. Yar sat on the recovery bed, while T'Sara stood nearby with the perfect posture common in Vulcans.

Yar's face was battered black and blue in some places. Although Beverly knew it would fade in just a few days with dermal regeneration, it was still alarming. Still, a confident smile was plastered on her face. Whether it was a defensive smile, or genuine, Crusher could only guess. It was odd seeing Yar this way, as she had on every other occasion seemed restrained and formal.

"Are you refusing to provide a statement about what happened to you, Lieutenant Yar?"

Her smile faded slightly. "I told you...I already wrote a security report and submitted it to Commander Data."

"I am not averse to filing a report regarding your insubordination, Lieutenant," T'Sara said stiffly.

"Oh, are you giving me an order? Now I remember...you wanted to keep everything professional between us."

"Starfleet regulations require that-"

"Let's not quote regulations, alright? Let's just be honest why you're really here," Yar insisted, leaning forward, again with an innate confidence.

What is happening with these two? "Lieutenant," announced Beverly, walking briskly in to Yar's recovery room.

Yar straightened in alarm when Crusher entered the room, but then smiled with apparent relief. She leaned her weight back on the recovery bed, returning her gaze to the science officer. "Lucky me, it looks like visiting hours are over," she remarked, shooting the Vulcan a smug grin.

T'Sara turned to Crusher respectfully. Beverly detected a surprising glint of embarrassment in the Vulcan's dark eyes. "If you will excuse me, Doctor, I am needed on the bridge," T'Sara said before moving to exit the room.

"Thanks," Yar said, giving Crusher a sideways glance.

Just like that, the reserve is back. Beverly cleared her throat and grabbed a stray tricorder that was sitting on a nearby table, and dropped it into her pocket. "So...what was that all about?"

She met Yar's gaze the young woman looked away with a shrug. "It's personal," she murmured.

"I gathered that."

Yar looked downright guilty, and Beverly couldn't tell if it was just her bruised ego as Security Chief at having left the captain behind, or something else. Despite what Wesley had told her, she couldn't shake the suspicion that still lingered when it came to Yar.

"Doctor," Yar said uncertainly, folding her hands in her lap. "The nurse was just here," she said quickly.

"I know," Beverly said, frowning as she read Yar's chart. "And she said you were entirely non-cooperative. In fact, nurse Chavez said you refused to be examined. Care to try this again?" she asked with a deceptively sweet voice, plopping the chart down on the end of the bed.

Yar shifted and her left hand floated to her right side. Beverly noted that the knuckles of both hands were bruised purple. "I did cooperate," she said quietly. "I let them stitch me up and everything." She pointed to a small dermal knitter along her jawline. "So I am fine," she said as if that settled everything.

"Of course you are," Beverly said, sitting down next to Yar. "Now," she said, reaching out both hands to feel along Yar's jawline gently. "Turn your head for me to the left… up and down… now to the right. Good. Now keep your head still and follow with your eyes." She held up her index finger and moved it slowly from one end of Yar's field of vision to the other, and Tasha complied. "Amazingly you have no concussion, which I never thought would be possible, considering the beating you took."

Yar flinched visibly. "Beating? I was in a fight. It wasn't a beating, Doctor," she said in a way that communicated where she came from there was a large difference between the two.

Beverly gave a small shrug as she tested the reflexes in Yar's arms and legs. "Was it a fair fight?" she asked neutrally.

Yar laughed shortly. "I guess," she said coolly and looked away.

Beverly smiled slowly. "You don't trust me, do you?"

Yar keep her gaze averted. "Please don't take offense," she said quietly. "I don't trust anyone."

"Not even Counselor T'Sara?" She tapped at Yar's inner wrist, testing her reflexes.

Yar made a derisive sound. "Right."

"I should think you would be more careful when speaking with your commanding officers, Lieutenant. T'Sara could have you formally reprimanded."

Yar's expression tightened, but she said nothing.

"Is that how you treat everyone who cares about you?"

Yar rolled her eyes up at the ceiling. "She doesn't care about me, Doctor," she said convincingly. "And that's fine. Nothing new there."

Beverly ran her tricorder along Yar's shin, and looked at her sharply. "You've got a hairline fracture here that was missed earlier. How did you get it?"

"I kicked him and he blocked it—most of it."

"Caine?" Beverly said, still using the bone knitter on the injured leg. Yar didn't answer, but Beverly could feel her tense up further. "Wesley told me what you did." She tried to catch Yar's gaze, but she continued to look away. "He told me that you saved his life in fact. Thank you."

Yar finally glanced at her. "He was very brave," she said. "I'm just glad that I showed up when I did."

Beverly allowed herself to smile. "I am too. Wes is going to be fine."

"Good," Yar said, looking down at her bruised hands.

Beverly reached out to place the tricorder down, and Yar jolted backwards before catching herself. She grabbed for her injured side again, and held her hand there. Beverly held out her open palms. "It's okay," she said gently. "You don't like to be touched…is that part of the problem here?"

Yar clamped her mouth shut. "It's not really that," she said tightly.

Beverly sighed and moved on the bed, putting some distance between them, hoping that things would improve. "Well? You don't have to tell me, but…."

"You make me nervous," Yar said abruptly, glancing back at her.

Beverly laughed, and touched her chest lightly in surprise. "Me? Why?"

Yar exhaled and shook her head looking somewhat mortified as she flushed a darker shade and looked away again.

Definitely more similar to Jean-Luc than I would have ever thought. "Oh," said Beverly now understanding. She cleared her throat. "Well, I certainly don't mean to make you nervous, Lieutenant. Let's just finish the exam, shall we?"

"Okay," Yar mumbled.

"Now," said Beverly. "I want to mention that anything you say to me in here is confidential…and I'm saying that now, because I want to talk about what happened to you before you left the Enterprise on the away team mission. Perhaps the same subject that T'Sara wanted to talk to you about?"

Yar closed her eyes and shook her head slowly as if silently berating herself. Maybe she was. But her expression was resigned as though it really wasn't worth trying to lie.

She's not surprised by the question, good. "Tasha…who stabbed you? I can see you made some kind of attempt to treat your wound, but it wasn't quite enough was it? You almost bled to death on that mission. I can't guarantee that Captain Picard won't find out about this later on…but I won't mention it to him, as long as you can be honest with me right now."

"I think he already knows," Yar said with a thin smile. "He figured it out before we left…back in the transporter room. He still let me go," she said

"Tasha…what happened to you?"

Yar shook her head. "I can't tell you, Doctor, I'm sorry."

Beverly walked slowly down the corridor toward her quarters, unsure it seemed of almost everything in her life. Except her exhaustion; she was sure of that, and could not wait to go and fall into bed. Whether she would be capable of falling asleep was another story.

She had momentarily closed her eyes while walking, as if to prepare them for sleeping when there was a loud rush of air and suddenly Jean-Luc was in front of her. And he was on fire. She screamed, and slowly the fire subsided to a reddish orange glow. His hair still appeared as though it was on fire as he addressed her.

"Beverly! It's alright…it's me."

"I know it's you, Jean-Luc! Now why the hell are you on fire?"

He smiled through the eerie glow. "I've been inside a star," he said. "It takes some time to fade," he admitted apologetically.

"Of course it does," she conceded in a resigned voice.

"Beverly," he said reaching out for her hand. She jumped as he took hold of her fingers, but to her surprise there was no heat, despite the continued corona surrounding his body.

"I'm angry with you, Jean-Luc. If you're alright, I'm very relieved…but forgive me if I can't actually tell, because you are on fire."

He laughed and the contrast of his teeth against his flaming face was almost beautiful it was so frightening. He held fast to her hand. "I want to marry you, Beverly," he said, and his hair seemed to flare more brightly.

Her mouth fell open.

"Will you marry me?" he asked.

She closed her mouth and came quickly to her senses. "I don't know," she blurted out.

The mini-sun that had been Jean-Luc was extinguished abruptly and he was in his regular uniform again. Bowing her head she quickly walked past him.

"Wait," he called after her. "What do you mean you don't know?"

She turned back. "I mean exactly what I said, Jean-Luc. I don't know."

"But I thought…but I love you, Beverly."

"I know."

"Then…."

"If I were to marry you," she said walking back to him. "It would have to be conditional on one thing," she said.

"Name it," he said quickly. "Anything."

"You have to give up your power. For good." She watched him closely. "So with that condition on the table, Jean-Luc…will you marry me?"

He looked stunned, then took a step backward. "I-I don't know."

"You don't know?" She didn't care that the hurt was evident in her voice.

"But…Seth is still out there. He's missing."

"And let me guess, you intend to leave here again in order to find him. I want to do anything I can to find him too, Jean-Luc, but not if it means you have to lose your humanity forever."

He grabbed her hand. "Just give me some time—"

She snatched her hand away. "You don't need any time. You've already made your choice." And she turned and walked away from him.