I'm so sorry you guys! Real life post graduating college has been getting to me since the last update…which was two months ago. We're still sitting at an M rating with trigger warnings for mentions of teen pregnancy and abortion. Please note that while I have never been pregnant as a teen nor have I ever endured an abortion, thorough and adequate research went into these chapters so that it's as close to realistic and authentic as possible.

Addison was completely floored; she didn't know what to think or how to feel. Her daughter, her baby girl had had an abortion, and recently. She took a deep breath before turning to face Miranda,

"Did they um, did, did the blood work tell how recent the abortion-"

"It was about a month ago," Miranda said quietly; thankfully Addison had taken a seat on a nearby empty swivel chair.

"I can't believe this Miranda; how could I have been so…this was a mistake," Addison's voice was muffled from her head being in her lap.

"Addison…" Miranda's voice was gentle when she spoke.

"I shouldn't have done this; coming here to Seattle, uprooting my children, not forcing Carson to go to therapy. I should…moving back to Seattle was a mistake," Addison let out a long and tiring sigh, unfortunately, it was at the exact moment that Derek chose to stick his head into the trauma room.

"Coming back here was a mistake?" His eyes were full of hurt as he turned and walked away.

"Derek-"

"Wow,"

"Derek…"

"No, you say coming back here was a mistake but then you neglected to tell Miranda that Carson has been spiraling out of control for a while now-" Miranda looks at Addison in shock.

"Addison did you-"

"I never knew it was this bad Miranda I swear I didn't know about any of it, about the drugs, her abortion-" Addison's body tenses as Derek's eyes narrow.

"What did you just say?" Addison shakes her head slowly.

"Derek-"

"No, did you say she had an abortion?" Derek is furious as he runs a hand over his face and then through his hair.

"Derek, Miranda only just told me and-"

"You're an OBGYN Addison, the best there is! How the hell could you have not known our daughter was pregnant and had an abortion!?" Derek is furious, absolutely furious as he throws surgical and medical instruments across the room.

"Derek-"

"No, you stay far away from me as possible,"

"Derek I didn't know about the abortion-"

"How am I supposed to believe that Addie? How can I believe you or Amelia or anyone around me? Nobody told me anything about my kid and…you're right, this, this was a grave mistake," Derek tosses Addison one final glance before walking away.

"Derek, Derek wait, I didn't …dammit can this day get any worse?" Addison groaned as she made her way out of the trauma room to talk to her husband.

4 Weeks Ago

Carson was scared; sure, she'd done some pretty scary and shitty things in her life recently but this, this was by far the scariest and stupidest. She lay in bed underneath her favorite sheets waiting for what she assumed to be the death of her unborn fetus. She didn't call it a child because to her, it wasn't, no, it couldn't be a child. She was just a child herself and her mother had always told her that whatever decision a woman made in regards to her body and pregnancy was always her decision and should be respected. Of course, her mother was speaking in general terms, not thinking in the event that her own teenage daughter would become pregnant. While Carson may be angry at her mother for irrational-but-rational reasons, she still wished that she were home.

She had followed the necessary steps based on the pamphlet she'd gotten and her own personal research. There was nothing more to do but wait for the inevitable. In order to pass the time and to keep her from thinking about the process happening in her body, Carson decided to binge watch a few shows on demand. She'd been so engrossed in her shows that she barely heard the soft knock on the door.

"Hey, you okay?" Her mother had poked her head into the door slightly; things were still pretty tense between them.

"Uh, yeah; just not feeling too well; I um, I skipped fourth period. I totally got a pass though," Addison sighs heavily and shakes her head. Carson can see it, the frustration in her eyes, the way her shoulders sag, the purse of her lips; her mother is heated. However, she surprises her by asking,

"Did you at least get the assignments for the rest of the day?" Carson blinks once, then twice; was she hearing her mother right?

"Uh, yeah; I texted Jessica earlier…I think I'm coming down with something so I'm gonna be up here in my room for the night. I'm feeling a little queasy so…no school tomorrow?" Carson tilts her head to the side, hoping that she's still got some sort of clout with her mother.

Addison shakes her head and walks over to the bed, going into full doctor mode, checking for a fever and whatnot.

"I want to trust you Carson but-"

"I know I haven't done anything to make me trust you lately mom and…I'm so sorry," And she means it, is totally and completely sincere in her words but still, her mother's eyes are guarded, distrustful and it totally hurts.

"Carson…where did everything go wrong between us? Was it me dating Kevin? Was it us moving back to Seattle? Was it, was it me getting back together with your dad-"

"Wait, you two are serious about that, about getting back together?" Addison sighs heavily and shakes her head.

"Yeah, we are; is that where things got so messed up between us? Because Carson I really want to fix this but, I have to know where it all fell apart," Carson is silent for a few moments before pulling herself out of her mom's embrace and curling up into a ball in the opposite direction.

"And we're back to this; Carson, I am trying, I really am. But I can't be the only one working to fix this; if you're not feeling well in the morning, stay home from school but please be here when your brother gets off the bus," With that, her mother stands up and walks out of the room.

Once she's gone, Carson lets out the breath she'd been holding and allows her tears to fall.

She wants to fix things, but just when she feels like she's gotten to a good place, something always comes up, making it impossible for her to seek help. Her parents have been through enough within the last year-and-a-half, her telling them that she's pregnant and is currently in the process of having an abortion would only make things so much worse and frankly, she's tired of causing them pain.

oOo

The first thing she wakes up to is the sound of a constant beeping, the slow drag of air coming at even intervals. The world is still pretty hazy as the darkness of sleep begins to intertwine with the world around her. It's fuzzy for a moment but soon things begin to take shape and color. A nurse notices her first, begins calling for someone, though Carson can't quite make out who, again the world is still fuzzy and hazy around the edges. Someone, a doctor of some sort comes rushing into the room; there are soft hands, soft brown hands that are on her face and someone's talking to her.

"Carson, Carson honey can you hear me? It's Grandpa Richard; I know there's a lot going on but I need you to try and listen to me, okay. You've been in a medically induced coma for a few days…your parents are here and your brother and Mark. Carson, if you can understand what I'm saying I need you to blink one time for me,"

She's trying to process it all, what he, what Grandpa Richard is saying. She's in the hospital, her parents are here, so is Ryan and Mark…sorry, Uncle Mark.

It takes a moment for her brain to catch up but slowly, she blinks one time. She can almost feel the collective sigh of relief that fills the room. It takes her eyes a moment to adjust but they land on the one person she wants to see-her mom. Her hand is shaky when she tries to raise it off of the bed; it takes a moment but, she holds up a wobbly hand and points it at her mother.

"You wanna see your mom?" She tries to nod but it makes her head hurt so, she settles for blinking instead.

She can tell that her mother is hesitant on coming towards her, and if she's that hesitant then she must really be doing bad. But none of that seems to matter once her mother has pushed down the bedrails and runs a hand through her hair; Carson doesn't mind that a few of her tears fall on her face.

"Thank God you're alright," it's the clearest sound she's heard in a while.

But when she tries to talk something funny happens…she can't. She tries to open her mouth to speak but there's something there, something, something is stopping her from talking. She panics, her eyes darting around the room; she can faintly hear the sound of the beeping machine begin to beep faster. Her body goes numb; she can feel her heart racing in her chest. She's having a panic attack, maybe even a heart attack.

But then her mom's voice is in her ear, telling her to calm down, to relax; there's apparently a tube in her throat and if she'll hold on just a moment, Grandpa Richard has gone to get someone to take it out. She's still scared though because what the hell is happening, she can't seem to remember anything, anything at all. Of course, she knows the basics but, the events leading up to how she ended up in the hospital are unclear. Still, the feeling of her mother's thumb gently tracing the top of her hand is somehow keeping her calm.

It takes a few moments but a nurse and a few other doctors she knows but can't quite call by name come into the room and remove the tube from her throat. She nearly throws up once the tube is out and goes into a coughing fit. Her mouth feels like it's been stuffed with cotton and when the air hits it she coughs again. Her mom tells her that it's normal and that drinking water will help. The water burns when it goes down her throat, but after her third cup (assisted by her mother and a very thin straw), it doesn't burn as much. She's encouraged not to talk, but she's Carson and pushes it anyway. The sound of her voice is scary; it's raspy and slightly slurred as if she's been drinking.

"Carson, a lot's happened to you since you came into the hospital," a redheaded man…she knows him, knows his name but can't seem to remember it right now.

"You came in because you took a lot of drugs and you had a serious amount of alcohol in your system. Your brother and your parents found you passed out on the floor in your bedroom…your brain was without air for, well, we're still not sure how long. This isn't gonna be an easy task, getting back to where you were. You're gonna need lots of physical therapy. We've also talked to your parents and they've decided to check you into a 90 day rehab clinic," Carson's eyes are as wide as saucers as she looks over at her mom (she still hasn't been able to identify her dad just yet) and she sees it, the guilt in her mother's eyes.

"Carson I'm sorry but, I had no choice; honey I almost lost you and…I need you to get better,"

Though her memories are a bit hazy, she does remember the drugs and being high on a regular basis. Her mom is still by her side, but talking to the redheaded male doctor. She knows that this is what she needs, to get better, because apparently, she's a mess. She shakily reaches a hand up to tap her mother on the shoulder.

"I…I-I'll, g-g-go to r-r-ehab," It takes a lot out of her, to utter the words but she knows she's hit rock bottom.

She has to get her life back, she has to.

Chapter 12 to follow…

It's a short chapter but it took quite a bit to get it to a good ending point. So we're leaving a lot of things unsaid as far as Derek and Addison's relationship goes. They need lots of therapy that's for sure and they'll get it. I'm thinking that the next chapter will have a slight time jump, with a few flashbacks to give insight into things we missed. It's a slow progress but we're moving at a pretty good pace. Again, I do apologize for the long delays in between chapters. I hope that the heavy subject matter I'm covering is as realistic and as accurate as possible.

See you for the next update!

Xx