Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara!

The bridge was dark, as it had been a month ago. The water looked black as it had a month ago, with the full moon high in the air, suspended in the air. She looked at its reflection in the water. Slowly, she looked over the railing and Ikuto's nerves were on edge, as if she was about to make her second attempt. Amu could feel his tension rolling off in waves.

Ikuto was completely clueless to why they were here of all places. Without moving, he watched Amu.

Her palms came down to the railing, as her fingers curved themselves around it. Swallowing, she stared down at the water. The light coming from the moon reflected off of the band on her finger. Reflections, everywhere I turn there's a reflection. Every which way I look there's a reflection. There's who the person really is on the inside, and then the front they put up.

Amu was slightly hypocritical. As much as she hated the fronts people put up-mainly her parents-she couldn't destroy hers. Was it because she was so used to the habit of having one? Was she too scared for people to really see her? If her parents couldn't love her the way she was, could anyone else? She asked too many questions, something that got on Tadase's nerves when she dated him.

She dug her fingers into her pocket, gripping the blades. It was now or never, she realized. Either she'd do it, or she wouldn't. What was the worst that could happen? The worst was that maybe he'd be a little sad. She stopped to think of what he'd do if she let go of them though. She imagined the smile he'd have, if he'd hug her again. Touch still scares her, but she loves hugs.

"Goddammit," She whispered. Everything used to be black and white for her. There was no gray in between. There wasn't confusion. She knew her place. She knew the opinions. Her parents hated her, they wouldn't talk to her. She was cheated on. She had nearly been a victim of rape and murder. She was bullied. Now there was a huge gray expanse in her mind, which she found she couldn't cross on her own as she did everything else. "You changed everything." She said, with her voice wavering.

It was true. Everything was different now, and it had only been a month. What would happen-what else would change, what else could she feel-if he was around for a year? She told herself to not get her hopes up about that though. There was no telling at all if he'd leave or not.

A few tears slid down her cheeks. Her pink hair went past her breasts now, but she let it dangle over the railing. He stood on the right of her, frozen in place, confused on what to do, and what she was saying.

She sighed and threw the razors out of her hands. Ikuto let out a harsh breath as the clattered to the wood of the old bridge. "Take them," She said. "Take them all." Her voice was shaking as she slumped to her knees. "You wanted me to give them to you and I am. I'll try like you wanted." He stopped breathing. "I'll try like Utau, Kukai, Ami, and you want me to. I'll try to stop cutting."

She was so scared, scared of him walking out, scared of him not caring. Those rhombus shaped pieces of metal were her life line ever since the funeral. Slowly he bent down to pick them up. A few were stained with blood, probably from one of the times she lost control. Ikuto set them down next to her and watched in awe as she swiped them off of the edge of the bridge.

I'm not promising I won't relapse." She told him, wiping her eyes. "I'm not going to promise you anything at all." He chuckled at her threatening tone.

"Well, I promise to stay, even if you do relapse." She looked up at him, startled at his sudden proximity. Her golden orbs wavered as she stared up. His mouth was inches from her. He backed up a little, seeing a trace of fear come into her eyes. Amu's chest warmed when she saw his familiar smile. "Let's go," He said, reaching out to her with his hand.

She grasped it without any hesitation. Usually it was Ikuto who intertwined their fingers, but this time it was Amu. To anyone else, it was just a girl accepting his hand to help her up. But to them, it was something else. She reached out in a way, even if she wasn't totally aware of the fact yet. When he felt her small fingers slide through the spaces between his, he stared at her surprised.

But they smiled at each other.

XXX

He carried her up to her room, with her penguin in her arms. She fell asleep in the car on the way home. She was exhausted. He laid her down gently and tugged the sheets over her. He plugged her phone into its charger so it would be ready for when she had to leave for her shift at two the next day.

She only had to work a few hours, and she'd volunteered to do it. Ikuto guessed it was so she could get out of the house on Christmas.

Carefully, he leaned over to kiss the top of her head. He wasn't sure why he wanted to do that, but he did. She didn't stir from the light pressure of his lips on her hair. Quietly, he slipped out the door and walked to his room.

XXX

Through her three hour shift, there were only about five customers. Amu thought they were alone like her, and just looking for an escape. Taking that into her thoughts, she only spoke to them when she saw they had just come in. If they had an empty cup, she refilled it without any questions. Technically, she was supposed to charge seventy five cents for a refill, but it was Christmas. So she refilled them for free and paid for it herself.

Behind the counter she made some breakfast sandwiches in case any customers wanted any. She doubted it; they were rather absorbed in what they were doing. One blonde girl was reading. A girl with bright-obviously dyed, but pretty on her-red hair was reading on a Kindle Fire, or maybe she was playing a game. A man she guessed was in his forties sat quietly, flipping through papers in his brief case.

It was a peaceful quiet as she dwelled over last night, or early morning. Her bag was tossed on the counter, this time absent of all sharp objects, peroxide to clean wounds, and bandages. She wondered what Ikuto would do when he woke up and saw what she left for him. Amu shrugged, taking a drink of hot chocolate and then slipped on an oven mitten to pull out the hot pan of cookies.

She let the pan sit on a rack on the counter so they could cool.

XXX

Ikuto rolled over groaning. He wasn't ready to wake up yet. His clock on his dresser read four thirty. God, he'd slept for almost twelve hours he realized.

His blue hair fell in front of his face as he looked at his dresser. There was a pile of razors there, much more than she'd thrown off the bridge. "Dear Jesus, does she collect them?" he mumbled. From what Ikuto saw, he guessed there was over twenty. "She must have bought so many to hide in different places." He murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ever since he'd stolen hers, she'd bought extras. He snatched up the note beside them.

Hey, these are all of them. Do what you want with them. Thank you for the penguin and ring. I'm sorry I didn't actually get you anything, so this was the next best thing. I probably won't be back right after work.

Merry Christmas, Ikuto.

Love, Amu.

Ikuto smiled the whole way through, and folded it up and then slid the slip of paper in his wallet.

"So, she gave up her razors?" Utau's voice came from the door, through curved lips. She was wearing a simple red dress for the family celebrations. "Amu told me this morning." She explained. "She showed me her ring too. She was pretty excited. She all but dragged me up the stairs to show me her penguin."

He blushed a little. He really had made her happy, he realized.

"Yeah, she gave them up." His voice was a low murmur.

"You know, I never thought anyone would reach her." She said, closing the door behind her. She sat down on her brother's bed. "I've tried, but I could never get through the walls she surrounds herself with." He smirked a little. "You've helped her, but don't get cocky. That doesn't mean she's okay yet." He nodded. "She's got a long way to go, but I need to tell you something."

Her voice had suddenly turned grave and it sent chills down his spine. "What is it?" he asked.

"After Amu left for work, Mom told me something. The police that have started a new investigation on the attack on her, and the murder of her friends stopped by the house. Apparently the men that did it are looking for Amu now because she got away."

"What?" he yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Calm down, they don't 'know where she is. Amu isn't supposed to go the cemetery or the memorial." He nodded, feeling his heart sink. The sympathy for Amu was in both of their eyes. "Don't tell her though." He nodded again. "Don't worry, she's okay."

"Alright."

I seriously promise next chapter will be a long one, as long as I can make it. Drama and everything. I'll write in free time at school and at home. It's just hard to balance it all. I'm sorry for venting.

I can't wait to read your reviews, even if I don't deserve them sometimes.

-Kelsey.