Chapter Eleven:
"I think it's a great idea to get your mom a present. It's probably been a long time since she's gotten anything," Maxie told Emma as they walked through the hospital resort to the gift shop.
"But didn't she get anything when it was her birthday?" Emma asked, her eyes wide with disbelief.
Maxie smiled and nodded.
"She might have, but it wasn't from you or your daddy, and those presents mean more."
Emma seemed happy with that and they walked into the store.
"Mommy loves Hershey kisses," Emma said. "Can we get some of those?"
Maxie nodded and looked at Matt who waited in the hall, keeping watch. They felt very safe there, but he insisted on staying close to them.
She loved it.
"How about we get her some hair products," Maxie said.
Emma rolled her eyes.
"Mommy doesn't need anything like that. She's so pretty."
Maxie grinned and shrugged.
"Every woman likes to be pampered."
"What does that mean?"
Maxie shrugged.
"Taken care of. Made to feel pretty."
"Shampoo does that?"
"Well not shampoo, really, but looking pretty. Your mommy hasn't had anyone take care of her for a while and if we help her to look more like herself, then maybe she will feel more like herself."
"But she looks like mommy already," Emma said, confused.
Maxie laughed.
"You're right. No hair products."
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Patrick walked back into the room after telling the nurses to come in.
"They are on the way," he said and froze when he saw the bed was empty.
"Robin? Robin?" he ran to the bathroom but saw it was empty. The IV pole was there and the tube was capped. She didn't rip it out, but she obviously capped it. Someone did.
"Robin? Help!" he ran into the hall and the nurses rushed up.
"My wife is gone or missing. I was with her and I stepped out and now she's gone. We need to find her."
"Maybe someone took her for a walk?"
"No," he said brokenly. "She can barely move. She isn't strong enough to go for a walk."
"Let me check if someone took her for tests," the nurse said and walked away.
He knew she wasn't taken for any test. She was scared and she ran. He could have kicked himself when he thought about her words. She tried to get rid of him. She didn't trust in what she saw.
What was he going to do?
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Matt brought over two ice cream cones and handed one to Emma when they walked out of the shop. She grinned and took it as they sat down on a bench.
"That's almost as big as she is," Maxie said as she took hers.
"Jealous?" Matt grinned.
"Maybe," she said and took a bite of her cone. "Didn't you get one for yourself?"
"I thought we could share," he said and wiggled his eyebrows.
"Not gonna happen," she said. "Never get in between a woman and her ice cream."
Emma looked at the people walking around and she smiled when she saw Robin.
"Mommy!" she got up and ran over to Robin.
Matt and Maxie followed.
Robin was sitting on the bench, looking around, confused and startled by all the people. This wasn't like any other place. Maybe this wasn't another trick?
Maybe she was truly safe and that was Patrick?
She tried to believe it. She wanted to, but she had the wrong voices in her head.
She looked at Emma and her heart warmed.
"Mommy? Why are you sitting out here? Are you cold? Your legs are uncovered and you're not wearing much. Do you want some ice cream?" she handed Robin her cone and it dripped onto her lap.
Matt grabbed a nurse and asked for a blanket as Maxie sat down next to Robin. He texted Patrick and told him where they were.
"Em? Let's give mommy some space," Maxie said and took the ice cream from her before it fell.
"But she's my mommy," Emma said. "She doesn't need space from me."
Robin reached her hand to Emma and touched the little girl's hair.
"Emma?"
"Hi mommy," she said. "Do you need a hug?"
Robin nodded and Emma crawled onto her lap and hugged her neck. Robin wrapped her arms around her daughter and Emma buried her head in Robin's neck.
"My baby girl?" Robin said and cried as she held her daughter. "I've missed you so much."
Maxie let her tears fall as Patrick rushed into the area and stopped when he saw the scene. Matt handed him a blanket and they tentatively walked closer.
Maxie got up and joined Matt and Patrick walked over and wrapped the blanket around Robin's back.
"Daddy? Look who we found," Emma said as she turned to look at him, her arms still around Robin.
Patrick nodded.
"I see you found mommy. I'm so glad," he said softly.
Robin looked at her family and her tears fell.
"I'm sorry. I got scared. I didn't think it was you."
Patrick nodded and shrugged.
"We aren't going anywhere. Whatever it takes for you to believe in me, I'll wait."
Emma looked at them.
"It's daddy. Ask him anything," she smiled. "He's the smartest person alive."
Robin smiled.
"Did he tell you that?"
Patrick grinned and blushed.
"He said you were smart, too."
"Is that right?" Robin smiled at Patrick. "What else did he say?"
"He said that you used to chase him all over the hospital until he went to dinner with you."
She raised her eyebrows.
"That's not true," she grinned. "Your daddy is the one who did all the chasing."
Emma grinned.
"I know. That was a test."
Patrick looked at Robin and shrugged.
"She's your daughter."
Robin laughed and she looked at her husband and daughter.
"Will you both come back to my room with me? I would like to talk more," she said.
Patrick felt his heart soar.
"Of course."
Matt and Maxie walked them back and then went to the hotel room.
Patrick helped Robin get back into bed and Emma cuddled up next to her. He wanted to take a picture, but he hesitated.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
Emma looked at Robin.
"Do you want some macaroni and cheese? I always like macaroni and cheese and I ate it a lot when you were away. Do you remember when we always made it?"
Robin nodded and looked at Patrick who held her gaze.
"I do. We ate it in coffee mugs by the fire," she said. "When daddy was at work and then we told stories."
Robin smiled.
"I thought a lot about those stories while I missed you."
"Me too. I wrote down some stories and I want to show them to you when we go home."
"I would love that. I wrote some things, too. Writing helped me feel close to both of you," Robin said and Patrick knew she was talking about her journal.
"I'm so glad you're home, mommy," she said and yawned.
Robin held her hand on Emma's back as the little girl lay down next to her.
"Me too. I missed you so much."
"Did you miss daddy, too?"
Patrick smiled and put a blanket over his daughter.
"Em, let's just let mommy rest now. We can ask her a million questions later."
Emma rolled her eyes.
"It wasn't a million."
"Yes," Robin said softly as she looked at Patrick. "I missed daddy, too."
Patrick sat down and Robin reached to take his hand in hers.
He put his head in his free hand and let his tears fall.
"But I don't want to miss either one of you any more," she said and her own eyes filled.
Emma smiled as she fell asleep and Patrick picked her up and placed her on the couch in the plush room, covering her gently. He walked back to the bed and sat down on the chair.
"I'm sorry I ran. I am struggling with a few things," she said simply.
"I understand. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I don't want you to be scared of anything anymore."
She nodded and looked at him.
"I'm not scared of you," she said softly. "I'm scared of the people who had me. They were really terrible, Patrick, and as much as I know it wasn't you who hurt me, I have trouble believing they aren't trying to trick me again. When I let myself believe it was you, the punishment was severe. I don't want to be tricked again just because I so badly want it to be you."
He looked at his hands and reached for hers.
"I wish I knew how to help you believe. I wish I knew a way to prove to you who I am."
"No," she said as she stroked his hand. "This isn't about you, but me. You don't have to do anything. I just got so lost, you know? I hate that I was weak, Patrick. I am better than that. I'm stronger than that."
"What? You are the strongest woman I have ever met and you survived something I can't even begin to comprehend. You are my hero, Robin, and I am so amazed by you. I love you so much and that hasn't changed. I ache for you and these past years have been like one long dark tunnel. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am that I didn't look for you. I am so sorry for that. I am so sorry you thought I didn't care. If I had known, I would have searched forever until I found you."
She reached up and touched his cheek.
"I love you, too. I need you and I ache for you. I just don't know what to do. I'm a mess and I feel like one minute I know what's real and the next I am back in my head and full of panic. I don't know how to stay in the here and now. I'm so scared I will get lost within my fear and I don't want that," she said and began to cry.
He didn't think about it. He got up and sat on the bed, pulling her into his arms. She stiffened at first and then she held him, resting her head against his chest and finally looking up at him. She reached her hand to his cheek and pulled him to her, his mouth connecting with hers and as they kissed, her body came alive.
"Patrick," she said inches from his mouth.
"It's okay," he whispered. "I won't push."
"I don't want you to go. I don't want to be alone," she said as she kept her hand on his chest.
"I'm not leaving," he said and they lay down, her body against his and his arms around her petite frame.
"You're going to be okay," he said. "We both are."
She ran her hand over his clothed chest and sighed in contentment. She would do whatever she could to stay in this moment.
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