To SilverStormyWolf: Unfortunately Nightstar's path isn't going to be a happy one with forgiveness and uh, "feel betters?" Along the way. I might consider bringing Strike or Moon (or both) for a chapter or two though ;) As for developing Shadespark's character more, I needed her to feel neglected and left out, but yeah I see what you mean she needs more time in the story! ^^
Chapter 10: End of Friends?
Allegiances:
NightClan:
Leader:
Nightstar: Light grey tabby she-cat with blue eyes. A real mystery nowadays...
Deputy:
Mosslight: Brown pointed she-cat with green eyes. Has a good sense of humour but can become rather serious and often daydreams. Rather lazy and has a bad memory.
Medicine cat:
Mosslight: Brown pointed she-cat with green eyes. Has a good sense of humour but can become rather serious and often daydreams. Rather lazy and has a bad memory.
Warriors:
Sparkflight: Dark grey she-cat with white on muzzle and chest with golden eyes. Bold and quick to fight but loyal to close friends.
Other cats: (who we'll probably never see again -_- sorry guys)
Moon: Dark grey tabby she-cat with white paws and amber eyes. Very strict and demanding. Rainstar's mother.
Strike: White furred tom with a black hind leg with green eyes. Strict but good-natured. Foxflame's foster father.
D.A.R.K.N.E.S.S:
Jessica: Slightly dark grey tabby she-cat with icy blue eyes. Convincing and cunning, not very merciful. Brilliant fighter.
Spruce: Dark brown she-cat with a splash of black on her back with blue eyes. Bossy and boastful, likes things her way.
Pumpkin: Light orange tabby tom with amber eyes. Quick thinker and first to think out flaws in plans.
Luna: Black she-cat with russet fur on chest and brown eyes, has a slightly squashed muzzle. Unusually more flexible than most cats and has fast reflexes.
Sailor: Black tom with white splotches and yellow eyes. Good hunter and though not the brightest cat around, can be the cat to unexpectedly come up with a good idea.
Blueberry: Grey-brown tabby tom with grey-blue eyes. Loyal to Jessica, can be a little shy.
Scar: Light grey and pink hairless she-cat with orange eyes. Self-conscious, and jealous of other cats' fluffy fur.
Eli: White longhaired tom, but his coat is so dirty it looks grey-brown, he has green eyes. Though annoying and just plain stupid at times, very aggressive.
Peter: Orange tabby tom with brown eyes, scrawny. Though he was forced to go with the rouges he tries to live life to the fullest.
Mushroom: Lilac coloured coat with darker points, blue eyed she-cat with abnormally short legs. Good climber and surprisingly fast despite her short legs.
Ginger: Cream coloured tom with dark blue eyes. Has lots of energy and gets excited by small things.
Curls: Curly grey long haired she-cat with yellow eyes. Grumpy and easily annoyed.
Bamboo: A pink hairless cat with abnormally short legs. Like Scar, he is jealous of the other cats for their fluffy fur, and he is jealous of some of the rouges longer legs, very self-centred.
Nightstar wrenched her eyes open, heart racing and breathing heavily. A dream, a dream! Just a dream... Calm down...
But her heart continued to pound, the words from her dream roaring in her ears. Not just a dream... A nightmare...
She remembered when she used to go up to Mosslight to tell her if she had a nightmare, where her friend would usually make her feel better.
I can't tell her about this. The look Mosslight had given her in the nightmare... She could still see the cold gaze.
I thought she was a true friend. No cat is, not in the world full of lies upon lies... Who knows if she even sees me as a friend? With the way they all are treating me, I don't know anymore...
"Nightstar?"
The leader lifted her head to see the cat that had been coldly staring at her, watching as the rest of her 'friends' attack her in her dream.
"What is it Mosslight?" She mumbled. The deputy shifted her paws. "I... If I'm deputy who's medicine cat?"
"Pfft. Easy, you are both then." Nightstar arched her back in a long stretch. "If you find an apprentice or whatever teach them medicine stuff and once they are ready to be a full time medicine cat you become a full time deputy."
Mosslight seemed to be struggling to take in all the information. "So... I.. Okay..."
Nightstar watched as she padded away. Mosslight went up to Sparkflight. The warrior asked Mosslight something, before Mosslight sighed and pushed the bird she was about to eat towards her friend. Sparkflight mewed happily and went away with the freshkill, leaving Mosslight to grab a vole instead.
Nightstar narrowed her eyes. Hmph. Sparkflight only went up there for the prey. Not because they were friends, or to say hello...
That proves my point. No cat is a true friend.
Nightstar heard a tiny voice in her head whisper, what if you just don't have friends hm? How do you know? Are you jealous? The voice mocked.
Shut up! I have friends, and if I don't, I'm strong enough, I don't need friends to help me through and make me strong!
• • •
"Moss!"
A light grey tabby was bounding towards her. "My mom finally let me take a break from hunting and she said I could play with you!"
"That's awesome!" The pointed brown she-cat exclaimed. "What about moss-ball? Ooh ooh ooh or prey and hunter! Oooh, ooorrrr-"
"Moss! Rain!" Fox came sprinting to them. "I knew you two would come here! Spark's on her way, she's usually late but whatever she'll be here soon."
Rain purred in delight. "Yes! Hey, how about-"
Leaves crackled under the weight of approaching paws. A dark grey cat sprang into view, panting from her run. "Heeey!"
"You made it!" Fox and Moss meowed. Rain waved her tail in an enthusiastic greeting. "Now like I was saying, how about we go around and explore? We can make our own fake warrior clan territory almost!"
"YES!" Moss cried. "So excited! Where do we start?" Fox gestured with her tail at the small stream, which ran down into a lake. "That will be RiverClan territory. We can each pretend to be part of a clan. I'm RiverClan!"
"ThunderClan for me." Rain insisted. "ShadowClan!" Spark unsheathed her claws and growled in what she thought was a menacing way. "WindClan for me definitely, I love running and open spaces." Moss looked eagerly to a stretch of grass, with only a couple shrubs nearby.
"Then let's start!" Moss yowled.
A sudden and strange shining star flashed in front of her, in the centre of where she and her friends where standing.
It shone, sparkling white, so bright she screwed her eyes tight-
Mosslight's eyes shot open. Comfrey, sorrel, and daisy were at her paws. I must've fallen asleep while sorting herbs...
The cordial friendship and joy that had filed her dream had vanished. The clan, Foxflame's betrayal, Nightstar's uncharacteristic behaviour and Sparkflight's dull and bored attitude, about almost everything, Night and Rain being confused and twisted, all came rushing back to her.
Mosslight pushed some of the sorrel half-heartedly into her storage. What's the point of the clan?
Padding out, she grabbed a bird from the freshkill pile, was about to eat when Sparkflight came up.
"Spark, Again?" Mosslight teased. They still sometimes used their names given to them by their parents to address each other, though this time it reminded her of a pang about her dream. "Are you always that hungry?"
Sparkflight purred, "Yeah! Now gimme 'dat birdy! I'm hungry!"
Mosslight rolled her eyes, "Pff, fine." She pushed the prey and gave a fake exasperated sigh. Sparkflight laughed, "Yaay! I love birds, 'nom 'nom." She imitated a chewing sound. "There is a vole near the bottom if you want that instead."
"'Kay, thanks." Mosslight called after her as she pulled the vole out, and began to eat her new piece of prey.
She looked up at the sky, wondering how long it was to Sunhigh when she realized Nightstar was staring at her with a strange look in her eye.
Mosslight waved awkwardly with her tail. "Hi?..."
Nightstar gritted her teeth, a resentful agony flashing in her eyes. Mosslight flicked the tip of her tail back and forth uncertainly.
"Oh-" Mosslight suddenly remembered she was also deputy now. "Hey Rainstar, about-"
Nightstar froze. A furious, disbelieving look came over her face. She shot to her paws and launched herself at Mosslight.
Hissing in surprise, Mosslight instinctively tried to scramble away, thrashing. Nightstar pinned her down firmly, spitting in rage.
"YOU!" She howled. Sparkflight raced out from under the bush where she was eating, eyes wide with terror.
The warrior stiffened in shock as she saw the medicine cat being pinned down by her leader's claws.
"What are you-?" Sparkflight gasped but Nightstar cut her off, fur on end and tail twice it's size.
"YOU CALLED ME RAINSTAR!" Nightstar screeched. "YOU. CALLED. ME. RAINSTAR!"
Mosslight's heart was pounding painfully against her ribs, her friend's claws against the organ.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Mosslight cried, currently not thinking about why Nightstar was so upset by this. "I'm so-"
Nightstar dug her claws in, not enough to draw blood but deep enough for it to sting painfully. Her breathing was coming in ragged gasps, eyes unfocused.
"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" Nightstar screamed. She sheathed her claws and spun around, dashing off to the forest.
Not again! Mosslight recalled when Nightstar had done the same when she confessed to Acornfur.
Sparkflight padded slowly and uncertainly up to Mosslight. "Uh... Okay then. Why?..."
Mosslight didn't answer. Sparkflight fidgeted beside her. "Should we chase?..."
"Ye... No. She'll be okay..." Mosslight muttered. It hadn't ended too well the last time they followed Nightstar.
Mosslight stumbled back to her den on unsteady paws, leaving Sparkflight looking disappointed and strangely sad in the clearing.
Why was Nightstar so upset?... Mosslight stared blankly as she saw a black feather waiting for near her nest.
Brushing it away, Mosslight slid into her nest, resenting the clan even more than before.
• • •
Nightstar lay under some tall growing ferns. It was beginning to rain, fat drops sliding off the leaves, trees and undergrowth, and landing with a plop on Nightstar's pelt.
She flicked her ear as a particularly fat drop landed near her ear fur.
I am not Rainstar! Rainstar is weak, stupid, foolish. She may be generous and nice but that makes you foolishly trusting and weak! Nightstar, I am Nightstar I am stronger I am better! You can trust no cat, not even your closest friends for even they can betray you in this world of lies and.. And...
Thoughts tumbling about angrily around her head, she felt a growl rumbling in her throat before she forced it down, and laid her head on her paws.
Mosslight doesn't cherish how lucky and fortunate she is... Nightstar felt a prick of jealousy. Careless daydreaming, good at herbs, kind parents, able to be lazy and get away with it, ignorant but able to think that she has true friends...
The rain pounded down more heavily, drip after drip of water falling down.
• • •
Mosslight stared out worriedly. Nightstar still hadn't come back.
Maybe I could just... Check a little...
Sparkflight was dozing in the warriors den alone. I just... Won't disturb her. Creeping past the sleeping warrior, she left the camp, following the scent trail.
It began to rain, wetting her fur. It was getting more difficult to follow Nightstar's scent.
Luckily, Mosslight finally found the trail once more after losing it, and tasting the air, found that her friend wasn't too far away.
Stepping loudly on twigs and brushing past the undergrowth to alert Nightstar, she saw the grey she-cat laying down, eyes fixed on her paws.
"Hi." Mosslight meowed. Nightstar twitched her ear to acknowledge her.
Mosslight laid down beside her. Looking out at the trees, she shifted her paws. She hadn't planned this out, and the silence was getting awkward.
"Life has changed me."
Mosslight pricked her ears. Nightstar had finally spoken. "In more ways than you can ever imagine."
The pattering of water was all around them, rustling the bushes and leaves, but to Mosslight all had gone dead quiet, nothing to be heard or seen except Nightstar.
"I'm hurt and broken, and I will never be the kind, gentle, Rainfeather again. I became Nightfrost. My hatred for others changed me into the twisted, broken creature I am now."
The medicine cat's heart was steadily beating quicker. Nightstar's words seemed to be getting worse each heartbeat.
"I can see everything clearly now. Cats think you're nice cause you give out prey and always follow their orders, they think you are very nice and generous." Nightstar growled bitterly. "But they're are wrong. You did those because you didn't want them to get mad at you, you wanted friends. But are they really friends?"
Mosslight wanted to force her friend to stop talking, stop speaking, stop telling her these things, yet at the same time trying to contain as much information as possible, learn the truth... The truth of what?
"Life taught me a lesson, though I don't want to believe it."
Nightstar's next words felt like a heavy, sharp stone had slashed itself into Mosslight.
"True friends don't exist."
• • •
As soon as the words were out, they wouldn't stop. Tumbling out like rushing water, she went on, spilling her thoughts and feelings out like no cat was there.
"You think she's a friend? Well, she must have seen something in you that she needs so she became your friend. When you loose what she wants, she leaves. Like how you left me."
Mosslight was staring at her, a devastated horror in her eyes. Nightstar ignored it. She doesn't care about me. Wants to use me so she can be part of my clan I worked so hard to build when she did nothing. Stupid, lazy-
"You are stupid you know." Nightstar spat. "Filling your mind with your silly imaginations. Those aren't true. And you know that, deep inside. You just don't want to believe them."
She kept her sentences short, watching the silvery drops continue to splash down, forming more puddles. All her hatred, jealousy and despair came crashing down on her.
"But trust me. Forget about them. As your former best friend, I'm warning you. You'll suffer the consequences if you don't, like me. I'm dead serious here. Face the truth."
Mosslight's breathing grew ragged and uneven. Nightstar unsheathed her claws, shredding blades of grass.
You've changed. You became stupid, lazy, imagination running off. You had more sense when we were kits...
"Remember when we were kits? When we first met, we just clicked together. Remember how we used to help each other, how we comforted each other? I treasured those memories, like how I treasured you." Nightstar's voice cracked as she had a fleeting vision of the two of them laughing and playing, still only five moons old in the bright sunlight, her mother watching them lovingly.
"But you betrayed me, like the others. That turned me into the broken creature I am now. I'm not saying that it's all your fault,"- Foxflame's treachery, Shadespark not caring for the clan... -"But you played quite a big role in it too."
Mosslight kept looking at her, not saying anything, not giving any sign she was understanding what she was meaning.
Idiot... Nightstar restrained herself from lashing out suddenly, making her feel all the pain Mosslight had made her feel.
"I'm saying these straight from my heart. If you choose to ignore them, and continue what you're doing, I can't help you then."
The wind blew stronger, ruffling her fur as it made a whooshing sound, rattling the branches and disturbing the undergrowth.
"I know I should hate you with all my soul right now, considering what you did to me in the past."
Blabbing about Acornfur, lazing around the clan, not working hard, not helping me through these difficult times, not supporting me and instead defending that traitor, Foxflame...
Mosslight opened her mouth very slightly, the despairing look growing stronger in the green eyes. "But I just can't bring my self to do so. Perhaps there is just a bit of Rainfeather left in me, perhaps you still have something that's worth me saving. I don't know."
Nightstar looked away, gritting her teeth. "I'm just telling you this because you were once was my best friend." Never again... "Believe it, or leave it. It's your choice. This is all I can do for you."
• • •
"This is all I can do for you." Nightstar wasn't looking at Mosslight.
The brown she-cat looked at the ground. It was getting muddier as more water fell from the sky.
I need to say something... Mosslight opened her mouth and let the words tumble out.
"I know my silly imagination is crazy, but it makes me who I am." She began hesitantly. "I'm sorry I can't be that true friend. There may be a friend waiting for you in the future, I can only hope it doesn't end up like this, and you two are happy."
Has our friendship ended like this? Is it really over? "It hurts me to hear you like this. Wishing I could help, but only making things worse." Mosslight strained to keep her voice steady, though it raspy with sorrow.
"I'm sorry. I don't know how to lift you up from this dark hole, into the light we once shared."
A distant rumble of thunder sounded, but neither Mosslight or Nightstar reacted to the noise.
"Sometimes a dream about you, here again, being best friends. But once I wake up, I realize painfully it was only just a dream, and I can do nothing but savour it." Mosslight was reminded of her dream she had recently had, of the four of them playing happily, without a care in the world...
"I'm sorry." The medicine cat repeated. "Asking for your forgiveness is almost as crazy as my imagination. I know you may never be able to forgive me. I understand. I'm sorry. I wish I could help you..."
But I don't know why, what did I do, what did I do? Mosslight cried in her head. I don't get it, tell me, tell me...
Nightstar didn't seem to register the sincerity of her words.
"The point is, almost every cat in the clan joined because of you. Foxflame, Shadespark, Rosewind, all of them. You never really did anything for the clan, since you didn't take it seriously." She spat bitterly.
"You have no idea how much time I spent on NightClan." Nightstar finally turned to glare at her, icy blue eyes flashing. "Because you never cared. I want to banish you."
Mosslight's heart seemed to skip a beat, she didn't want to leave her friend, however much Nightstar may hate her now.
"But if you left, the clan would shatter. But if you stayed, the clan will never be a clan. It's like trying to make a clan out of a bunch of kittypets, which is nearly impossible."
Mosslight wanted to remind her about the new SkyClan and how they made the clan from rouges, loners, and kittypets, but it definitely didn't seem like the time.
"You have no idea how sad and frustrated I was." Nightstar unsheathed her claws and they sank into the mud.
"Rosewind and most of the clan were just like kittypets, unable to fully grasp the true concept of a clan. Sparkflight and Foxflame"-Nightstar growled out her former deputy's name- "were warriors to the core, but I knew that we could never be a clan anymore the moment cats left, the moment Foxflame betrayed us..."
"You were a loner, just a loner."
A loner... All alone, a friendless cat? Mosslight couldn't imagine life like that.
"I was a clan cat at heart, but I just didn't have the right opportunities. You see," Nightstar looked deep into Mosslight's green eyes. "nothing will work out the way you wanted it to, no matter how hard you tried, or how much you prayed or wished or hoped."
Another rumble of thunder came from above, rain splattering down harder.
"Something always come by and smash your plans to pieces, tear everything away you knew to shreds and left you to pluck up the scraps." The grey tabby snarled. "This is life, life is unfair. You just have to try and stand it. Which I- I..."
Her voice cracked, and she seemed to be biting back tears. "Which I almost can't." Nightstar shot to her paws, and splashing into puddles and nearly running into bushes and trees, raced away.
• • •
I can't, I can't I can't! Nightstar nearly collided with a bramble thicket, drawing up just in time and was about to go around the prickly brambles when she saw it.
Scarlet berries, hanging down on a bush with droplets of water dripping from every dark leaf. A sudden flash of lighting far away lit up the sky, and the berries shone, glistening and slick with water.
Yew berries...
In the Four Clans Tale, they were called deathberries. Different name as most cats called them, but still deadly poisonous.
Deadly poisonous... An image of her, escaping all her worries, troubles, her sins, by death from a single yew berry flashed in her head.
Another flash of lighting, and a rumble of thunder.
Stop... Don't think of suicide...
But she couldn't banish the thought from her head. End it all, end it all, end it all... The wind seemed to whisper as it whistled past her.
Almost unconsciously, not thinking, Nightstar stretched a trembling paw towards the scarlet berries.
I have nothing left to live for. My clan, my family, my friends, they all don't exist anymore. I have nothing, I am nothing...
There was a quiet crack of branch as she snapped it off from the main bush, silver droplets falling to the ground from the poison.
Nightstar stared at it. Am I really, really going to do this?
She shut her eyes tight, before opening them again.
Time to escape... Leave this world, leave my misery, my suffering...
Time to die...
MWAHAHAHAA I love cliff-hangers. :3 (or at least, I like writing them. :D)
Check out my other Fanfiction, Tigerstar's Hatred!
Review!