DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT~


When I was sure that Bella had already fallen asleep, I relaxed my influence over her. She'd be good for another twelve hours or so. I rose from my chair beside her bed, and stretched. I glanced down at her, even in sleep, she somehow did not seem peaceful. I retrieved the small notebook I found clutched in her hands when I found her this morning. A peek wouldn't hurt would it? Anyway, if we knew to cause of her

upset we would somewhat know how to cure it, right?

I flipped to the first page; The Life of Bella Swan. Whoops. Wrong choice. Alice and Bella would kill me if I read it. Its some girls' thing I guess. Without reading on, I slid the book back into my pocket as if nothing had happened. I'll go see what Edward and Carlisle are up to.

I paused at the door.

"What's happening, Carlisle?" Edward whispered; dejected. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Edward," Carlisle sighed as he rested his palm on Edward's shoulder. "When I first examined her after…that incident with Victoria and Riley, I examined wrong." Carlisle took a deep breath, a wave of remorse radiated out from Carlisle.

Edward stiffened. "I want every word, Carlisle. Jasper, come in here, I know you're outside." Bella's diary suddenly weighed a ton as I stepped into the room, shocked at first by the tense atmosphere in the room. Carlisle was nervous- I should help him with that. Slowly, I released a calming yellow mist towards him, soothing his being from head to toe.

"When Bella hit her head," I felt Edward wince beside me, "severe damage was not done to her memory but more so to the part of the brain which deals with emotions. That's why she can remember us and what we are. And that's also the reason why the only people she cannot remember are Edward and Jacob."

I stared at him, confused. Carlisle seemed reluctant so say it out loud, as if it was already immensely difficult. Edward must have known the reason why the moment it appeared in Carlisle's head, so the only reason he would want Carlisle to say it out loud was for the benefit of me.

"Yes, Jasper needs to know too. Since he's her guardian angel." His face pinched up in pain. I wouldn't need his gift to know what he was thinking- how much he yearned that it was him and not me, that it was himself who was keeping Bella safe, not me. He feels that it is his job not mine, and he blames himself for not being able to do that for her.

Carlisle ignored the last part of Edward's comment, and turned towards me. "Edward and Jacob were pulling her apart emotionally," he risked a glance at Edward. "She loved both of them, but of course she wanted to be with Edward more. However, that had its consequences. Every minute she spent with Edward resulted in, of course, one less spent with Jacob which led to her to feel more distressed. She felt guilty for the pain that Jacob felt, and would torment herself for his pain. She was also angry at herself for allowing Edward to see through her, and that he could see she loved him as well."

"Wait, how do you know all this?" I asked, patting the diary in my pocket.

Edward gave me one of his how-stupid-do-you-think-I-am looks and said, "Jazz, don't you know that Bella is like an open book? Did I mention that she can't lie properly, not to me at least."

"Thus," Carlisle continued, "Once Bella hit her head, it was something like hitting the 'reset' button. Most unpleasant memories were gotten rid off, including the causes of a major part of her distress- the memory of Edward and Jacob. Or it could be the memories which triggered the most emotions in her. The ones who were most important to her, who have impacted her deeply."

"But Bella was fine…" I let my question trail of into and invisible question mark.

"Yes, yes" Carlisle's forehead creased in confusion the same time Edward got off his chair and started pacing. "That's what we're confused about. There must have been something that triggered that instinct, to protect herself from further emotional harm. But we don't know what…"

My thoughts flickered to the diary in my pockets. Before I knew it, it was gone from my pocket and handed to Carlisle. "Her diary?" Edward asked me. "Jazz…how…when?"

Carlisle began to flip through her diary. I placed my hand over it, "You know, its some girls thing. They don't like boys reading their diaries." Edward slapped my hand away.

"Ah," Carlisle sighed. And he began reading whatever was written there out loud.

When he left

He never returned me my heart

Tore me

Apart

Tears have poured

Stinging like acid

Attacking

My core

Can't breathe…

Its so hard to survive but

For Charlie, for Jake, for Renee

I must

The hole in my heart is

Impossible to

Ignore

The pain never fades, just keeps getting

More

And

More

Sometimes I wonder why

I don't

Fall apart. The emptiness continues to

Envelope me, no ending, no

Start

Everyday my eyes yearn

To look at him

My nose yearns for his scent

My arms yearn to embrace him

But then I remember that

He went away

He no longer cares

No longer wants to share

The memories which keep

Burning

Me

Now all that's left is just

I

Torn apart from

We

I shall continue to burn, I cannot

Be healed.

So before I am completely lost

I write this

Hoping for him to

Read it one day

So that he will understand

A little

About what happens to

A

Broken

Hearted

Girl.

I was rendered speechless, Bella did poetry? I could feel the emotions of he poem boring down on me, it made me want to just curl up and escape the world. But of course, it was not my own, it was Bella's. I could feel her pain, understand it. I could feel her longing for her other half. I could feel her struggle to stay alive. I could empathize with her.

"What…now, Carlisle?" Edward's words came out half strangled. I tried to shield Edward's emotions from myself – I was barely able to cope with Bella's.

Carlisle deliberated for a moment, "I'm not sure, Edward. But I have a theory… Since Bella's mind considers you a threat to her emotional health, you should try to show her mind that you can be trusted. Gain back her trust, talk to her, comfort her. Maybe the other good memories would come back as well."

Edward was halfway out the door when Carlisle warned, "Better take it slowly first, Edward. I believe she's still traumatized." He looked at me and I nodded.

"And, she's still sleeping." I told Edward and he rolled his eyes at me.


heyy guys, thanks LOADS for the reviews. I mean, it seriously builds up my buzz, y'know? This is not the last chapter, no worries. Now that exams are over and all that, i really enjoy writing fan , so i'll try to keep on writing from Jazz's POV, for as long as the storyline allows me to(: thanks so much (again) the reviews. i'm content(: yay! looking forward to more! thanks so much^^i hope you guys continue to support me(: