'That's pretty tough.' Ejiro is sitting on the floor of Katsuki's room, his back against the bed that Katsuki is lying on. The blonde has just finished explaining the entire situation revolving All Might and Izuku. He still can't really wrap his mind around it, but he can't go back to discuss it today anymore anyways.
Ejiro reaches out to pick up one of the All Might plushies that was lying around. 'So all of these were from your friend?' Katsuki hums while staring up at the ceiling. Most of the All Might merchandise lying around his room used to be Izuku's. Some of it were his.
He turns over to his side, his gaze fixated on the back of Ejiro's head. 'You think I should apologize?' he asks. Ejiro glances over his shoulder at Katsuki, raising an eyebrow at him. Katsuki rolls his eyes and looks away. Of course he'd get a response like that. 'I lashed out at him. I didn't tell him that it was my fault too.'
'It wasn't anyone's fault,' Ejiro adds. Katsuki grits his teeth. 'Yeah. I know. I just… he would probably feel just as shitty as I am now. Well, less. He didn't know him for fourteen fucking years.' Ejiro scoots over to face Katsuki, who simply raises an amused eyebrow at him. 'What are you going to tell him?'
Katsuki shrugs. 'Maybe about our past. That I used to bully him and stuff. I don't need him to understand me, or to see it as taking the other half of the blame. I just want him to understand that we both feel bad about it and… maybe he can help me.'
Ejiro has to try very hard not to smile. It's a weird reaction to such a heavy topic, but he simply can't help it. Bakugou Katsuki, the boy who separated himself from all of his classmates and refused to take any help until Ejiro kept pushing, is now actually admitting that he would like some guidance. Even to someone that has known Katsuki for this short amount of time, he could tell that it was huge.
'What the fuck are you grinning at!' Katsuki snarls, throwing one of the pillows into Ejiro's face, making the red-head topple over. Ejiro chuckles as he gets up again. 'Sorry, sorry,' he apologizes. Katsuki huffs and looks away.
Ejiro looks around the room since Katsuki is no longer paying attention to him anyways. Most of the walls were lined with All Might posters. Almost all of the shelves were covered in all kinds of All Might figurines and other memorabilia, and Katsuki's bed was strewn with plushies and pillows of the #1 Hero. Ejiro wonders if there was even anything left in this room that was truly Katsuki's; something that wouldn't remind him of Izuku.
He supposes the death of his childhood friend had made more of an impact on the blonde than he would let on. It makes Ejiro feel a little uneasy. At this point, it couldn't be called grieving anymore, more like an unhealthy obsession.
Ejiro opens his mouth to say something about it, when Katsuki speaks up first. 'It's starting to get late. You'd better go home.' Ejiro snaps his mouth shut and simply nods in agreement. 'Yeah. Early day tomorrow again, right?' he says, grinning, looking at Katsuki. But Katsuki isn't looking at him.
He swings his legs over the edge of the bed to guide Ejiro outside as usual. Right before Katsuki closes the door, Ejiro turns around. 'Can I ask you something?' Katsuki raises an eyebrow at him, his crimson eyes staring at Ejiro in question.
'Will you ever get over him?'
Katsuki doesn't know how to respond. He feels like something has stabbed him in the heart, the head and his stomach, all at the same time. What kind of question is that to even ask? If he'll ever get over the death of his former best friend? What a fucking joke.
'It's just… you seem so hung up on him, and I'm just afraid that you'll get stuck in the past so… I'm just worried and-'
'There's nothing to worry about.' Katsuki is nearly growling. His gaze is aimed at the ground and his hands are balled into fists. 'Katsuki,' Ejiro says, reaching out. Katsuki swats him away. 'I didn't meant to-'
'Just get lost,' Katsuki says, slamming the door in his face. He turns around on his heels, storming off to his room again. 'Katsuki? What's wrong?' his mom asks. 'Nothing!' he shouts back, when in fact, he felt miserable.
It isn't so much that Katsuki was offended by the question, he just really didn't know. It had been over a year since Izuku had leapt off that roof, and Katsuki felt like he was making progress, but at the same time he felt stuck. He tried so hard to get over him, to get back to his old self, but it was something he'd never truly achieve, much less if he forced himself to.
Katsuki just felt like every time he made a little progress, something would come along the way to push him back. He found the strength to go help Inko go through Izuku's stuff, and then relapsed by nostalgia. He finally was able to talk to Ejiro about what had happened, and then gets punched in the gut by his former idol. It was a cruel game that life played with him.
As Katsuki laid back down in his bed, pulling the covers closer around him, he couldn't escape the feeling of guilt eating away at him. Not guilt for Izuku's suicide, nor for leaving All Might to blame himself, no.
Katsuki regretted immensely that he had turned away his only friend yet again.
The day at U.A. started slow. Ejiro had come to greet Katsuki as usual, and it made the blonde feel a little better that the red-head wasn't taking his behavior from the previous day personal. Still, Katsuki wanted to talk to All Might about yesterday, and it was agonizingly long until lunch break arrived.
Katsuki swore that if he would get one more question on English Literature today, he would burst. Even though every single one of his study materials was simply tiring him out and annoying him, Katsuki's body went into immediate stress mode as soon as the lunch bell rang.
His shoulders tensed up and a knot formed in his stomach. Everything in his brain told him to turn around and simply eat lunch at the cafeteria like everyone else and just avoid the confrontation altogether. So much for fucking bravery.
Knowing that that wasn't the best course of action, Katsuki forced himself down the path towards the teachers' lounge, the agitating feeling in his stomach only growing worse with every step closer he got. After knocking politely he was told to come in. Instead of seeing the person he came looking for, he was met with his homeroom teacher, Aizawa.
Katsuki looked around warily, not seeing any sign of All Might's presence. 'Looking for someone?' Aizawa asked. 'I was hoping to find All Might,' Katsuki begrudgingly admitted. 'He called in sick this morning.' Katsuki looked at him, probably a dumbstruck look etched on his face. 'Why?' Aizawa asked, seemingly uninterested.
'I.. I wanted to ask him something.'
'And you can't ask me?'
Katsuki looked up at Aizawa. Even though the guy usually seemed pretty uninterested, Katsuki could tell that if he needed to he could go to him. But Aizawa wasn't the person he had to apologize to. Katsuki grit his teeth. Of all days to get sick.
'No.'
Katsuki turns to leave. He has no business here without All Might being present. 'I feel like I should let you know that he has said he won't be back for a while.' Katsuki stops in his track, his body going rigid.
'How long?' Katsuki asks through gritted teeth, refusing to look back. 'At least three months.' Katsuki balls his hands into fists, trying to contain his frustration. 'Thanks,' he pushes past his lips as he makes his way out of the office.
As he winds through the halls, he tries to keep his breathing steady. His hands are shaking and he feels like he's going to vomit. When reaching an abandoned part of the building, he slumps down against the wall, his face in his hands.
He has to remind himself over and over again that All Might has simply called in sick. No wonder, after seeing that broken down form he was shown yesterday; All Might was in terrible shape. But to leave for three months. Katsuki felt like there was more behind it.
He tried so hard to convince himself that All Might hadn't left because of him. He had confronted him, and after that, his teacher had disappeared. It couldn't be a coincidence right? It had to be a coincidence. There was just one thing that Katsuki couldn't place. If he was so convinced that it wasn't his fault, then why did he feel so bad?
After talking to Aizawa and gathering his thoughts, Katsuki had returned to class. The rest of the day had gone by even slower than the first half and it was agonizing. During the entirety of the rest of classes, Katsuki was unable to focus. The words on the board were swimming in front of his eyes and his brain felt like a junk drawer stuffed too full.
As soon as the end of class bell had rung, Katsuki got to his feet and made his way out, Ejiro hot on his trail. Katsuki had promised Ejiro an extra study class today, so instead of making his way home like he wanted to, he took a right towards the café they always went to.
Katsuki stared out the window, thoughtlessly poking into the piece of cheesecake Ejiro had ordered him. A hand waving in front of his eyes finally catches his attention. 'You there? I asked if you could explain the grammar here,' Ejiro states.
Katsuki rubs his eyes before attempting to read the paragraph they were supposed to analyze. 'It's a past present… uh.. present tense sentence.' Ejiro cocks his head at him. 'Are you okay?' Katsuki rubs his eyes again. 'Can't fucking focus.'
'Maybe we should call it a day.' Katsuki looks up at him as Ejiro shoves the last piece of his cake into his mouth. 'You sure? You understand all of that?' Katsuki asks, not really believing it. Ejiro grins sheepishly. 'It's fine, I'll manage.'
'If you say so.' Katsuki gets out of the booth, not really feeling up to it to argue against leaving Ejiro behind when he obviously needed tutoring, and reaches for his wallet to pay for the food.
'No need to pay.' He looks at Ejiro questioningly. 'You didn't even eat anything.' Katsuki looks down at his assaulted cheesecake. The thing has died from at least three dozen stab wounds and is lying tattered across the plate.
'I wasn't that hungry,' he explains. 'No worries, I'll take it,' Ejiro says, reaching out for the plate and already starts digging in before Katsuki can even say anything about it.
'Go home and rest,' Ejiro tells him, mouth already stuffed with cheesecake again. 'You look tired.'
Katsuki feels tired. He feels exhausted. He nods, incapable of thinking of a better response. 'See ya tomorrow,' he says as he slings his bag over his shoulder. Ejiro nods. 'See ya.'
As Katsuki walks out of the café, he can feel his eyes drooping. He's glad the way back home isn't too long. When he gets there he drops his bag and shoes at the entrance, dragging his feet as he makes his way to his room. His mom pokes her head out from the living room.
'Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes,' she says. Katsuki looks at her. 'I'm not hungry,' he simply replies before continuing to go to his room. He still has quite some homework to do, but he's simply too exhausted to do anything.
Without even bothering to change his clothes, he drops onto his bed, his eyes immediately falling shut and drifting off into sleep.
