A/N: Okay, So I don't really like this chapter, but it is a must to keep the story going s here it is. BTW, thanks for the great reviews, you guys are great ;)
ChApTeR 12
A deep sense of calmness has taken over me, making me feel as if my body is floating brokenly through the sky as the wind carries me to a land far, far away… a strange land of mysteries. Now, I don't know if this sensation was provoked by exhaustion of the spirit or by the strange rituals the old woman made on me, all I know is that I feel half drugged.
While my body feels like floating away my eyes are fixed on my wrist, staring at the two swollen punctures imprinted there as if expecting to see right through them. Who knows, maybe I can see right through them, maybe if I will my eyes to it I might get a peek at my flesh and bones.
As I try to see past my broken skin I hear someone talking. The voice comes from outside and is soon joined by another… both of them speaking a strange language that I don't understand.
Nothing new, I see that even when I've been floating around I'm still stuck in Brazil, bummer.
Anyway, the interruption of the sepulchral silence that reigned the poorly lit room makes Phil's hand move once again, resuming the motion of his fingers lazily running through my hair.
I think that for a moment he dozed off, and because I know he thinks I'm still sleeping I make no movement that would tell him otherwise. I just lay still and allow him to soothe me with his tender touch.
He has been here for a while, sitting in a chair behind me as I lay in the hard bed I was left to rest… and just as I lay immobile so does he; only his fingers move through my hair and during all the time he's been with me he has spoken no word, neither have I.
He probably thinks I'm angry… but I'm not, I'm just… calm, numb; floating around and waiting to land on my own two feet.
"Maryse." His voice is a soft whisper, a bit hoarse from the lack of use. I wonder if I made a movement that gave away my state of being awake or if he is just trying to wake me up; whatever it is it prompted his hand to slide down my arm.
He moves me, making me turn around so that I'm now looking at him so I guess there is no pretending now. But I don't speak; I just stare deep into his olive green orbs while he scans my face with them.
"Are you feeling better?" He asks, his fingers returning to my hair as I just stare at him. For a while that's all I do, until he rest his forehead to mine and breathes from my breathing.
"I shouldn't have left you there." He whispers and my heart shrinks one size… but still I say nothing, I can't, not now that my throat is dry and there is huge lump there.
I don't know, maybe saying nothing is for the best; after all I do need to detach myself from him and I shouldn't wait until we get back home to do it.
But God, I'm not sure if this is coming from what just happened or by whatever the woman did to me, but as I lay here I don't see how can I can really detach myself from him when his lips kiss mine. Sure, it's just a light peck but it's a peck from his lips, how can I ever detach myself from those lips? From those eyes?
I… this is stupid, I'm probably drugged so I just need to sleep this off. I mean seriously...
As I try to clear my mind a little bit, Phil draws back a little and his hands come down to cradle my face, his thumbs moving over my cheeks in a tender caress. "You know, I've never been good with this stuff… but damn I really hate myself right now and watching you cry is not helping, like at all."
I blink, and I'm about to speak for the first time since my embarrassing panic attack this morning, when I'm about to tell him that I'm not crying I realize that I am.
It's not an attack of sobs or anything like that, just a few imprudent tears that leaked out. I clumsily try to wipe them away with my good hand; the last thing I want is for him to see me cry.
But before I can do or say anything, the old woman makes an appearance, carrying with her some kind of cup that she brings to me.
Phil lets go of my face but he doesn't move from his spot at my side, and when the woman motions me to drink the content of the cup I'm very tempted to shake my head no.
I think she read apprehension in my eyes because she is now talking that language of hers, nearing the cup to my lips as I feel my eyes growing in my face.
"I don't want that." I say stubbornly, fully knowing that she can't understand… but hey, I don't understand a word she is saying either and that's not stopping chatter.
With the corner of my eyes I see that Phil takes the cup from the woman's hands and takes a look at it, he even goes as far as to smell it. As he does that the woman changes her attention to him, now talking to him.
"I don't want to drink it." I say once again.
The woman takes the cup from Phil's hands and starts to speak more animatedly, motioning me to drink it… and because I'm not in my right mind and she is starting to annoy me I take the cup and drink it, swallowing in one gulp to be done with this already. "Eww,"
Now, I don't know what was that… only that it was extremely sweet, almost to the point of making me gag. At least that makes her happy and she finally leaves, but not before smiling a huge toothless grin.
After that Phil and I are left alone and once again I lay on my side; only that this time I'm facing him instead of showing my back to him.
He rests his head on the wooden bed, almost touching mine while his body remains on the chair. For a while neither of us speak and his fingers go back to do their thing, this time venturing down to my face.
"We'll get out of here soon, I talked to Patterson and he said that the big boss would be more than happy to send a pilot our way."
I nod, not sure how to feel about that. I know that I don't want to get into another plane, but I also know that's our only way out of here.
"And once we get out of here we'll get home and we can go back to normal, hopefully by then you won't be mad at me…"
"I'm not mad at you." I say and I mean it, I'm just getting used to the idea that we are indeed going back to normal and that in that normalcy this man is not for me. He's already somebody else's and yeah, I have someone as well to go back home with. Thinking about that, I sigh, my lips pouting as I look into his eyes. "I'm just tired."
He kisses my temple, his lips lingering on my skin for a moment before pulling away. "You should be mad at me, I'm a jerk and who knows what would have happened if that woman hadn't been around. I mean I would never forgive myself if something happened to you."
I feel like smiling because this is the most genuine thing he has told me. Sure, it's not a confession and it doesn't mean that his having a hard time like me; but with those words he's letting me know that he cares about me and that just makes me feel a little better.
I mean, I care about him too…
Not that it matters so I breathe in and blink a couple of times. "I'm fine." I say and I'm telling the truth. Sure, my arm feels bigger than it is, it itches a bit and I also feel a bit disoriented, but that's not to grave. It could have been a lot worse… of course, the first thing I'll do when I get back to civilization is visit a doctor, I don't want to take any risk. "Nothing that some sleep won't fix."
"Then you should sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."
I close my eyes just so I don't have to look into his eyes… but then I start to drift off, his touch lulling me to sleep…
"Maryse…, wake up."
I grumble, trying to push out of my mind the voice that is calling my name… but then I realize that the voice is not in my mind but whispering in my ear.
"Frenchie."
I open my eyes and when I do I see Phil's face hovering over mine. It takes me a while to remember where we are, the hard surface underneath me a cruel reminder.
I try to sit, but a wave of dizziness invades me and I have to lay down again, closing my eyes and mumbling under my breath that I don't want to get up.
"Come on, Frenchie. No more naps for today." He helps me to sit and I have to rest against him, my limbs failing me while everything spins around me.
I feel awful and I wonder if it has anything to do with the thing the old woman gave me. It has to, because I wasn't feeling like this before drinking it.
"I think I'm going to throw up." I mumble, but thankfully I don't. I still remain motionless, just in case because I don't want a sudden movement to make me feel ill. All the while Phil holds me, and if I would have indeed throw up I would have done so all over him.
That wouldn't have been sexy at all and definitely not how I want to parts ways with him.
"Better?" He asks after a while and I nod. "Good, because I wouldn't want you to puke your way towards the helicopter."
"What helicopter?" I ask, pulling away from him to take a look at his face.
"The one that will take us out of here… that's if you decided to get out of bed."
I blink a couple of times and before I can react to the news he is pulling me to my feet. Once I'm up he allows me some time so I can settle, but then he starts to walk away, dragging me with him.
"Do you want me to carry you?"
"No." I say while trying to cope with everything, my mind still feeling fuzzy. Are we really going home, after all this time?
On our way out we find the old woman, Phil thanks her and I do too, but I don't think she understands, she just smiles and waves us goodbye and off we go.
Brazil… what a strange place this is. I hope never to come back here.
As we walk to the helicopter, I notice that all these people whom once I thought to be cannibals keep going on with their lives as the buzzing machine stands in the middle of their village, only the kids seem to take any interest on it… and obviously Phil and I do too.
But we care because this is our ticket to go back home, the one thing that will end something that perhaps should have never started. Us.
But it is what it is.
When the pilot sees us he greets us and introduces himself; he says that he will takes us as far as Panama; from there we will take a plane back home.
After that brief introduction we get into the helicopter and out of Brazil we go… thank God for that.
The journey is a long one, but not as long as the one from Panama to the States. I sleep most part of the way, and the time I couldn't sleep I spent it on Phil's arms, the two of us submerged deep in our own thoughts as each passing second was taking us near home… and yeah, also marking our last moments together.
Now, if I have to be completely honest, the dread of having to let him go is much stronger than the fear I have that this jet would crash too; I mean for two weeks or so he's been all I had left and I got so used to him that it's even making me feel confused.
Weird, I know… but this is not something I want, if it were for me I would talk my mind into not thinking about him going away, I learn how to let go…
Maybe I can teach myself to do it, we just spent together a little over two weeks and that's not a lot of time if you come to think about it… but then again we went through so much, I owe him so much…
Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm in love with him, I mean pleeeasse, I love Mike… but it's just… God, I don't even know how to explain it.
As I muse over my feelings and how I'm going to get over him, the pilot announces our arrival. Part of me feels relieved because I'm home, I'm finally home.
"So are you ready for this?" He asks, he doesn't seem bothered in the slightest… in fact he seems happy about it. "I have a lot of cheat meals to make it up to the ones I missed. Shit, I'm going to get so fat."
"I don't know if I'm ready." I admit, rubbing my hands together because I don't know what else to do with them, I don't want to grab him and kiss him right here when I'm a few steps away from my reality.
"You'll be ok." He says and for a moment I almost believe him, I want to… "In two days you'll be as good as ever, think about it… chocolate cakes, bubble baths, purses, spa's… just imagine the possibilities."
I smile, looking at him and shaking my head. Since when does he knows so much about me? Well, probably since we've talked about all that crap while we were on the island.
For a while I just look at him, trying to imagine what he will do as soon as he gets home; but then he pulls away and I know it's time to get off this thing and face reality.
So, when the door is finally open we both stand and walk out, each step making me feel more nervous, not only because the deal with Phil but because I'm getting my life back and I feel antsy about it.
When we finally step out I immediately spot Mike, he's waiting impatiently as he paces all around. But then he sees me and before my heart can get into a frenzy he hurries to me, his eyes shining and his lips breaking into a smile.
I also see Beth, she's quietly standing in a corner and even though she seems eager she also looks pale as ghost… could be that she's anxious about Phil getting back to her? She probably is, because when she sees us she's smiles and starts to move towards us.
She seems as happy as Mike is.
As all this happens I just stay in my spot, I only react when Mike is in front of me and hugs me, lifting me up as I automatically wrap my arms around his neck. "God Maryse, I thought I was never going to see you again." He whispers against my ear and I close my eyes, unable to talk back to him but getting comfortable in his embrace. "I love you, I love you so much and I missed you like crazy."
I breathe into his familiar scent, letting him slide his lips to mine so he can kiss me. It feels weird but I kiss him back… I mean this is Mike, he is home to me and this is my life…
TBC
