Hi guys hope you like the new chapter though I'm not sure you'll like me by the end of it.
DISCLAIMER I don't own Doctor Who or any characters
She woke briefly in the night but in the dark she felt his hand tighten slightly over the small bump and smiled, snuggling closer she drifted into sleep.
It was still dark when she woke and something was wrong her stomach hurt and when she touched her hand to her thigh it came away damp and in the gloom she could see that it was dark and slightly sticky. Leaning over she shook the Doctor's shoulder.
"Wake up, I'm bleeding." She said shaking his shoulder harder. His eyes opened and he flicked the light on. Standing up unsteadily she assessed the amount of blood. It wasn't a lot but as she stood she felt it start to run down her leg. She walked to the bathroom grabbing a pair of pants on the way out. She left the door open as she changed her pants and placed a towel on the clean pair. The lighting changed and she saw the Doctor stood in the bathroom door holding a pair of loose fitting trousers and a large jumper.
"River we need to go to the hospital." His expression was calm but behind his eyes he was fighting a storm of pain. She didn't argue but put the clothes he handed her on and he realised that she was terrified.
"Hey." He said softly. "You'll be alright." He kissed her forehead "I'm going to start the car." He said gently seeing that she needed a moment. Without thinking about it she walked back into the bed room and took the necklace that she had had since she was fourteen and placed it around her neck. It was gold made of three circles one inside the other with a small hourglass filled with sand in the middle she tucked it into her jumper.
Stepping out of the front door she felt snow drift into her hair. She crunched over to the car and got in. As the car pulled out onto the main road she felt his hand touch hers and briefly she felt better. Then she drew her knees up and lent against the window. Normally she loved the snow but now, now she could find no joy in it. The radio crackled to life and a tear rolled down her cheek.
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
This was the song that had been on the morning she had told him she was pregnant.
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
She ran her hand along the small bump and thought bitterly I couldn't keep you safe.
Don't you dare look out your window, darling, Just close your eyes
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when music's gone
Gone
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
When they arrived the Doctor parked quickly and taking her hand they walked into the emergency ward. As they entered the woman at the front desk smiled and she hated her for it.
"How can I help you?" she asked cheerfully and this was the point that River stopped listening but she caught the word miscarriage and for a moment her whole world span in dizzying circles. She felt the Doctor's arms catch her before she fell. She was taken through to the ward and she had several tests.
"Do you want a coffee?" He asked as they waited tensely for the results.
"I'm not supposed to drink coffee while I'm preg…" She trailed off and she seemed to shrink and he cursed himself inwardly for having been so stupid.
"Hot chocolate then?" this was what he always made her when she had been younger and had been having problems at college. She sat up and her lips quirked upwards slightly, he reached out and touched her hair. He felt her relax ever so slightly under his touch and pulled her gently forwards so that her head was against his stomach and she hugged him tightly.
"I'm sorry." She whispered and he looked at her shocked.
"Melody Pond, River Song you have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault!"
"Really? You don't think this is the universes way of revenge for me killing you?"
"No I don't and I'll be back in five minutes with that hot chocolate."
Be back in five minutes she mused unable to help but think of the last Pond he had said that too. But as promised he was back five minutes later. They sat in silence as they drank.
"Sit with me?" she asked after a while.
"Always." He said and she lay her head against his chest. Half an hour later they were still lead like that when a doctor in a white coat came in. The Doctor got up off the bed and looked the man in the eyes, he turned away from what he saw there. Pity and sympathy. River too was staring at the man intently.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news." He said quietly. "Miss Song-"
"River." She corrected automatically.
"River I'm sorry to tell you that you have had a miscarriage." There was no visible reaction from her but the Doctor saw what this had done to her but he also knew that she would give nothing away in from of a stranger.
"Okay." She said softly. The man placed a hand on her shoulder looking slightly surprised at her lack of emotion. Most people cried or looked shocked or at least looked sad but she looked like he had said something that was of absolutely no interest to her.
"I'm truly sorry." He said gently looking from River to the Doctor. And after a second he turned and left. Her head fell back onto the pillows and her breath came out in a whoosh. She hadn't even realised she was holding it. There was nothing to say, there were no words of comfort they could give each other. She closed her eyes so he wouldn't see what was in her mind, it reminded her of a song she had loved a few years ago.
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
The song was right. There was on where she could hide from the fact that this time she couldn't protect him. Not from her.
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
"I want to go home." She whispered. As he turned to ask if they could leave she looked up and said.
"I'm really sorry I couldn't make you a dad. I'm sorry that I lost you our child." Her voice was soft and he moved back and hugged her.
"It wasn't your fault."
She turned her head away from him so he couldn't look at her face. She was starting to feel numb.
They made it home within the next hour. It was five am and the snow was still falling. He walked into the house and left her stood on the step. She tilted her face towards the sky. It was grey and blue and purple and absolutely beautiful. Snow kissed her cheeks and she welcomed the crisp cold on her skin. It helped her to feel something.
Reviews? Also I'm so sorry
