"You smell like that naturally?"
TWTWTW
This was not a good day for Ianto, he knew he would need to keep himself busy, deliberately not think too much. He decided to concentrate on the others in the hub, try to interest himself in their concerns and needs, after all it was what he did best.
He had spent the previous night convincing Jack to allow him to purchase the latest video game for Owen on the Torchwood account and he had needed to be very inventive in order to get Jack to agree. It had been a pleasant way to spend an evening, persuading his captain was always pleasant, but at the back of his mind had been the notion that Owen needed entertaining.
TWTWTW
'Please Jack' begged Ianto kissing his captain's neck softly.
'Ianto...how do I justify video games on the accounts? I'm not exactly a do things by the book person, but that's a stretch even for me' insisted Jack whilst closing his eyes to enjoy his Welshman's work on his neck.
'Jack..you are a very intelligent man..I feel sure you could come up with a reason..I know you can do it sir' Ianto continued kissing and nibbling at Jack's neck and holding his wrists with a barely there touch, pushing his body to within touching distance of Jack's.
'I might..oh God...I might be able to think of a way' gasped Jack responding to Ianto's ministrations.
Ianto stopped to look him in the face and with his mouth within millimetres of Jack's he whispered.
'How can I persuade you sir?'
'Oh God' sighed Jack again.
Ianto barely brushed his hand across Jack's groin feeling the large lump under his trousers. He continued to kiss and lick at Jack's neck and kept talking to him.
'Will this convince you sir?' he asked squeezing Jack's erection.
Jack rested his head on Ianto's shoulder but otherwise did not respond. Ianto slowly unzipped Jack's trousers and slipped his hand inside, grasping the erection gently and rubbing slowly and teasingly.
'What about this sir?...is this better?..'
Jack's breathing hitched, he loved it when Ianto did this. He loved the tease, the persuasion, he loved Ianto calling him sir and doing as he was told.
Ianto had pushed Jack's trousers and underwear just down far enough over his hips to have access to his cock and was rubbing backwards and forwards in slow tantalising strokes designed to drive Jack mad. He added a slight twist of his wrist and swiped his palm over the head.
'Ianto' breathed Jack his body stiffening with the effort to hold back orgasm.
This really shouldn't be such a turn on some part of his mind was telling him. But Ianto in his suit with his hand down Jack's trousers, calling him sir and begging for something was a fantasy that made Jack desperately hard. He looked down and saw Ianto's hand on his hard cock still languidly stroking and listened to his sexy Welsh voice being all submissive and it became too much for Jack.
'Am I being a good boy?...will you give me a reward?' asked Ianto licking the captain's neck.
Jack could take no more teasing and threw an arm across Ianto's chest to hold him in place against the door and put his own hand over the one Ianto had wrapped around Jack's cock. He began pumping with determination, not looking at Ianto's face but only at his suit clad body.
'You will be a good boy...you will stand still...and I am going to ruin your suit' Jack smiled with undisguised aggression.
Ianto struggled slightly as he realised Jack's intention, this was his favourite suit. But the struggle just excited Jack more and he increased the pressure on the arm holding Ianto in place and sped up the movement of their hands.
'Stand still...let me do it Ianto..be a good boy' Jack's voice was strangled with need.
'Let me Ianto...arrh...let me'
His head fell into Ianto's chest as he felt his cock expand and erupt and he watched his own come spurt onto Ianto's trousers. He slowed and eventually stopped his strokes, released Ianto's hand and stood up properly to remove his arm from across his chest. Jack looked up at Ianto with a smug grin on his face to be met with a grim expression on Ianto's own. He gave him a small smile.
'It can go on the account Ianto...dry cleaning...and Owen's video game' he offered.
'You are getting altogether too good at using my sexual appetites to get you own way' he continued as Ianto looked at him smugly 'you are turning into something of a slut' he added.
'Perhaps you should punish me sir' said Ianto in a tone of innocence such as a grown man should not be able to achieve.
Jack laughed and conceded defeat.
'Ianto Jones you really will be the death of me' he smiled.
Ianto smiled with him, he had got what he wanted and wasn't nearly as annoyed as he pretended to be, but he knew it added to Jack's pleasure if he thought Ianto was grieved about his clothes.
TWTWTW
Owen was sitting in his med lab working on his computer and muttering under his breath. He was trying to analyse various samples taken from an alien they had caught and killed the week before.
He was determined to discover what the traces of an unidentified compound in its blood were. The compound was unknown to earth science and Owen was having difficulty discovering both its origins and its uses.
Never one to give up easily Owen had been devising more and more new tests to subject his samples too, and was working long hours reviewing his results.
Ianto took him the new video game that he had left the hub especially to purchase. He knew that Owen needed to relax even if he could not sleep, for his mental well being. Owen had no physical needs but mentally he had plenty. He needed amusement t o keep from being constantly bored especially with all the extra time that not being able to sleep gave him.
He also needed the company and concern of his friends but was, if anything, even more reluctant to admit this than he had been when alive. At least then he could pretend his need for company was purely sexual, now that excuse was no longer feasible but he actually needed to be around people more. Now he needed actual relationships rather than just casual shags.
'I'm busy' he insisted when Ianto waggled the game in front of his face.
'No you're not' answered Ianto 'these tests will wait but your ability to hold back your temper will not...take a break Owen...for all our sakes' he added.
'Get lost Ianto...what would you know about anything to do with me..what do you know about mental needs...what do you know about anything that is not food or coffee related or to do with how Jack likes to be shagged' sneered Owen.
Owen was feeling desperate about his lack of ability to eat, drink, shag or any of the other myriad physical sensations he had once enjoyed so freely. He was actually grateful for Ianto's thoughtful gesture he just couldn't bring himself to show it. He needed to take it out on someone and Ianto was nearest and least likely to take offence.
But today Ianto seethed. He knew Owen was getting frustrated by his inability to discover anything of use from his samples, but sometimes he wished he would take out his bad temper on someone else. It was Owen's way of coping, Ianto knew that, but it didn't stop him becoming upset by the constant digs. Ianto got his breathing under control and gulped down his anger, he had tried to help his friend and it had been thrown back in his face, along with insults for good measure.
'Go and be the captain's comforter...that's what you're employed for' Owen had a final dig.
He watched Ianto wince at that one and felt a slight pang of remorse. Ianto was the only one who remembered Owen's condition and tried to help whilst being unobtrusive. Gwen and Jack were usually too wrapped up in themselves to give it thought and Toshiko tried too hard, achieving little beyond aggravating Owen's already fragile mental state. Owen sighed, he would get around to apologising later.
On his way to the kitchen Ianto stopped at Gwen's workstation when he noticed how tense she appeared to be.
'Gwen? You ok?' he asked.
'Yeah. Got to go and speak to the Thompson's this afternoon. How do you tell a father and son that their mother and wife have been eaten by a rampaging alien?' she asked.
'Well' smiled Ianto 'perhaps you should leave out the alien part'
Gwen smiled back at him.
'Yeah..I kinda figured that part' she replied.
'Maybe...' Ianto was about to give Gwen his opinion on how to break bad news to people when she interrupted him in exasperation.
'Ianto I'm not seriously asking you. After all I did train for this in the police. I don't need your advice'
She turned away effectively dismissing him. Ianto stood for a moment nonplussed. He knew that Gwen had received training for these situations but that didn't mean he had no experience, that he couldn't understand grief.
Gwen should know that. She had seen him grieve for Lisa, she knew he had lost his father. She didn't have to take his advice, but neither did she need to dismiss it so thoughtlessly.
Ianto turned back to his kitchen duties a little sadly. Owen treating him with contempt he could live with, few people earned Owen's respect, but he had thought the other members of the team liked and appreciated him. He and Gwen had always been friendly despite her sometimes obvious desire for Jack. This was turning into an even worse day than he had expected.
Ianto returned to his kitchen and began to prepare sandwiches and salads for the team. As usual he had everyone's favourite ingredients, and prepared them all with the utmost care, delivering them to each person's desk to save them the trouble of moving.
Gwen managed 'mmph' when he delivered hers, but Toshiko looked up eagerly and said a genuine
'Thank you Ianto'
Ianto began to imagine there was at least one team member who appreciated him. He looked over Toshiko's shoulder at the programme she was running.
'Looks interesting Tosh...what is it?' he asked thinking to show some interest in her concerns that he knew she would not get from the others.
'Hmm...it is interesting...but you wouldn't understand it Ianto so I won't bother to explain'
This was too much, even Toshiko, the one person apart from Jack that he felt genuinely close to was dismissing his abilities. He looked at the screen again.
'Well I can see the graph represents a time/space continuum and the formulae suggest you are working on rift wavelengths and the likelihood of them overlapping somewhere on the continuum. The calculations suggest you are trying to work out future predictions on overlaps and their significance for rift spikes and activity' he said somewhat huffily.
Toshiko looked up at him in surprise.
'That's just from a brief glimpse of that one screen...but you're right Tosh...I probably wouldn't understand' and without waiting for a reply Ianto stormed off to take Jack his lunch.
Jack was busy writing reports and completing paperwork. He looked up at Ianto and smiled and Ianto felt his bad humour fade away. He placed Jack's lunch on the table and sat on the edge to have a brief conversation.
Jack placed a warm hand on Ianto's thigh.
'This looks great, thank you' he said indicating the food.
'Problems?' asked Ianto pointing at the paperwork Jack was obviously having difficulty completing.
'No..just boring' said Jack pushing the notes away from him.
Ianto looked at him.
'Well it's obviously upset you...so share' he said.
'Not the sort of thing I need to share with the team..just need to get it done' replied Jack.
'I'm not asking you to share with the team...I'm asking you to share with me...let me in Jack..let me help' said Ianto.
Jack stood up and pulled Ianto to his feet, drew him into a hug and added a surreptitious grope of his arse for good measure.
'You help me in much better ways' he whispered huskily into Ianto's ear.
Ianto could not help but smile and return the hug. He kissed Jack gently then looked him in the eyes and said.
'Sometimes captain I would like to be more than a member of the team, you claim to love me and yet seem determined to share so little' he said 'I'm not just the captain's comforter' he finished remembering Owen's snide remark.
Jack looked at him.
'I share lots with you Ianto..more than I have with anyone else for such a long time..and I want to share more but you always insist on putting me off' said Jack getting annoyed.
Jack could not understand why Ianto would say such things to him. He had no desire to share boring paperwork with the man but he did want to share other things in his life and yet it was Ianto who always denied them this, so why was he saying these things?
Ianto knew he was being unreasonable. Jack was right he did try to share more than Ianto was always comfortable with and it was always Ianto who called a halt to such sharing. Ianto was not really upset with Jack for not talking to him about paperwork, he was upset with the rest of the team and taking it out on the person closest to him. He knew how unfair he was being, but the insults of the team had finally broken his reserve.
Ianto was finally reacting to being overlooked by the whole team. He felt unable to stop being annoyed with Jack and unable to explain the real problem to him.
The problem was Lisa.
'Ianto?' said Jack carefully 'Shelby's florists rang your phone' he indicated the phone lying on the desk where Ianto had left it earlier.
'They want to know if the address for the flowers was 36 or 56 Royale Way..' Jack waited for a reaction.
'Oh...' said Ianto a little nervously 'I'll ring them back' and he made to pick up his phone. Jack caught his wrist as he did so.
'Ianto...why are you sending flowers to London?' he asked.
Ianto took a deep breath, he hadn't really wanted anyone to know what day it was and he didn't really want to discuss this with Jack.
'They are for Lisa' he said quietly.
Jack's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise.
'Ianto..Lisa is dead' he said softly.
'I know that Jack...the flowers have gone to her mother...it's Lisa's birthday today...her mother is all alone...I want her to know someone remembers..someone else misses her...someone else wishes she were still here' he said emotion creeping into his voice.
Jack looked down to shield Ianto from seeing the hurt on his face. It shouldn't bother him but it did. Lisa was still in Ianto's thoughts, he still wanted her.
'I want her back Jack...I want that life we were planning' he whispered.
'But now I feel guilty' he looked up into his captain's face 'because I think I want you more' he finished as tears filled his eyes.
'I feel like I'm letting her go...like her memory is slipping through my fingers... and I can't make up my mind to clutch tighter...as if I'm allowing it to happen...I should be clinging on to her Jack and I'm not sure I want to any more...I disgust myself...I have no loyalty' he sobbed.
Jack stood and pulled his lover into his arms and just held him for a while until Ianto started to pull away.
'Letting go is alright Ianto...you're not forgetting her...you're just living your life...that's not disloyal..that's normal' Jack whispered.
'Sorry...didn't mean to say all that...just the others' Ianto indicated out of the window 'they've not helped...I try hard to do things for them and today it's been thrown back at me..doesn't usually bother me..but today..' he left it hanging.
Jack wondered what exactly had occurred between Ianto and other team members to make him feel upset and determined to get to the bottom of it.
'You had all this hanging over you and you still worried about getting Owen his new game' Jack marvelled.
Ianto shrugged.
'He needs distracting..he has too much time now and not enough things he likes that he can still do'
Jack contemplated the amazing man in front of him. He could not resist.
'Ianto...I'm sorry...I need to know...I'm sorry...do you really want me more than your old life with Lisa?' asked Jack.
The two men looked at each other. Ianto knew Jack was asking for some confirmation of his feelings, he knew Jack wanted a declaration of love. Ianto had put off this declaration for so long it now felt enormous, something he couldn't say because the implications were too big. He wished he had said it long ago when he didn't feel it, so that he could have got used to the words, now his mouth would not form the words and his tongue would stumble over their pronunciation.
He knew he had to give something to Jack. He wanted to.
'If she were here now.. and I had the choice.. it would break my heart' he said looking down, but then he looked back up into Jack's eyes.
'But I would choose you' he finished quietly.
Jack felt the tears well in his eyes. He had achieved his aim of surpassing Lisa but he did not feel the triumph he had expected, just an overwhelming need and desire for the man before him. He would find a way to make him feel better, make everybody in the hub appreciate him more.
Ianto...take the day off..do something for yourself' Jack insisted.
'But Jack...there are things that need doing' objected Ianto.
'And someone else can do them' insisted Jack 'in fact take tomorrow as well and I'll brandish the whip over this lot and get them to pull their weight around here and stop taking you for granted'
Ianto still looked doubtful.
'Please Ianto...I think we all need to think about the way we treat each other and our roles...you're not just the butler anymore yet you still do all those things and we take advantage...a couple of days without you will help us all to see that' begged Jack.
Ianto nodded. It would be good to take some time away, he always seemed to be here and maybe it was time for the other team members to realise how much he did. The easiest way to show them that, would be to stop doing it for a short time.
He turned sadly out of the room. Only Jack noticed him leave.
TWTWTW
Two days later saw Gwen, Owen Toshiko and Jack in foul moods at the hub. Ianto had not been in to work since he left at the start of his shift forty eight hours ago, only Jack knew why.
The team had figured that they had all upset Ianto and Jack had given them individually a dressing down and then another as a team. They needed to respect each other's areas of expertise and that meant Ianto as well. Since Jack had returned Ianto had been out in the field almost as much as any of them and yet they still thought of him as the office help. He still did all his butler duties but was now a more active member of the team as well, Ianto did more than any of them and they were beginning to realise it. They were certainly getting to know Ianto's areas of expertise and were suffering in his absence.
No one had had a decent cup of coffee since he had left, only instant had been available as Jack had insisted no one touch Ianto's coffee machine. He knew he had been most at fault. Ianto would have suffered the indifference of the others but Jack's casual dismissal of his offer of help had been the straw that broke the camel's back. He should have noticed that something out of the ordinary was bothering Ianto and he was annoyed with himself that he hadn't, he was trying to put that right.
Owen was smashing around in the med lab and swearing to himself.
'What?!' Jack eventually screamed down at him.
'No clean scalpels or retractors' shouted Owen back to him.
'Why not?' asked Jack.
'Bloody teaboy normally sticks them in the autoclave, and he's not bloody here. He's sitting on his arse somewhere sulking' said Owen.
'Unlike you who are sitting in the lab sulking because he's not done something that is technically part of your job description' threw back Jack.
He was becoming increasingly annoyed with the other team members as it became more obvious just how much work Ianto had done around the hub and just how much of it had technically been the responsibility of others.
Gwen and Toshiko reappeared after going to interview a couple who were reportedly in contact with what they were claiming was an alien spacecraft.
'The pair of them are bonkers' reported Gwen 'I swear the police only sent us to investigate for a laugh. The couple are at least eighty and their 'contact' was interference on their radio. Tosh retuned it for them' she said exasperated.
'We ran out of petrol on the way there' said Toshiko 'I've never thought about putting petrol in the SUV before'
'And it's not been cleaned after we bought in those two weevils yesterday. It stunk to high heaven and there was blood all over the seats' moaned Gwen.
'More stuff that Ianto usually does then' Jack pointed out with a distinct lack of sympathy.
Jack noticed the team looking slightly ashamed of themselves, they were all beginning to appreciate Ianto and his abilities. Toshiko came over to him.
'We all need to use Ianto's language of looking after don't we?' she said 'I'm sorry Jack...and I will tell him so when he returns...please give him a hug from me' she finished.
Jack looked at her and smiled, he knew Toshiko was articulating things they all felt but she was probably the only one who would voice them. At least he felt satisfied that they were all learning the necessary lesson.
TWTWTW
'Oh God if I see one more pizza I will be sick' moaned Gwen 'I'm sure I've put on weight since Ianto left. No decent food just endless takeaways, is not good for weight or morale' she continued.
'Still missing Ianto then' spat Jack from the door of his office.
Jack was still angry. None of them had realised just how much the smooth running of the hub was almost entirely down to Ianto. More than anything though Jack had not realised how much he took Ianto for granted himself. Ianto always filed his paperwork for him, and often completed that which overwhelmed Jack with boredom. Ianto also knew where to find anything Jack wanted to see. Any file, any artefact, any reference to anything rift related or Torchwood related Ianto would be able to find quickly. Jack was surprised by how much he had come to rely on this ability.
He found he was missing his Welshman and not just for the sexual services he provided so willingly. He missed being able to share thoughts after the team had left at night, he missed warm arms that hugged when words were not enough after another nightmare day, he missed the care that Ianto gave him. He loved him and wanted him back where he belonged, in the hub and in his captain's bed. He had not contacted Ianto since he left, thinking to give the man some space but he was definitely going home to see him tonight.
Each member of the team were also surprised at how much they missed Ianto, not just for what he did for them but because they missed his capacity to listen and at least pretend to be interested. Ianto listened to each one of them as they spouted about their own speciality, told them how good they were at their jobs and sympathised with their frustrations.
Even the aliens were missing Ianto. Myfanwy was positively pining and Janet had not eaten properly since he left.
The team had been at each other's throats for the last twenty four hours. Without Ianto there to deflect everybody's bad humour and to conciliate in disputes, petty grievances had grown until hardly a civil word was to be had from anybody.
Ianto was always a centre of calm in the hub, a stabilising presence. He was never seen to be in a hurry, never stumped by a problem and never lost his temper. They were fast learning that he was in fact the lynchpin that held the whole team together and allowed them to operate at maximum efficiency.
When the air conditioning broke down late on the second day they were all ready to cry. Jack sent a text to Ianto.
'What did teaboy say about the air conditioning?' asked Owen.
Jack glared at him.
'I didn't ask him about the air con' he seethed 'I told him we miss him...and I told him I love him'
The other three looked at Jack in shock.
'There was no need to go overboard Jack. You shouldn't tell him things that you don't mean' said Gwen in amazement.
Jack's glare turned to be cast upon her.
'I do mean it...it's not the first time I've told him....maybe we should all show our appreciation more vocally and more often' he sneered.
There was a shocked silence in the hub. Gwen had not realised how deep the relationship between the two men had run. Toshiko had seen the looks that denoted more than a casual sexual interest in each other but had honestly never expected Jack to voice such emotions.
Only Owen had observed the full extent of the relationship. He had time on his hands now and often spent it speculating on the other team members. He had noticed how they treated each other. He knew the captain cared for Ianto a great deal but he was still surprised he would tell the team that.
Jack was looking mildly disconcerted at his revelation to the team. He was worried about what Ianto's reaction would be to his confession. He didn't care what the other three thought.
Owen considered this new development, Jack was a presence, enigmatic, charming and irrepressible, if Ianto had drawn confessions of love from this man then he was obviously much more fascinating than Owen gave him credit for.
Toshiko suddenly grinned widely at Jack and Jack smiled back knowing she was pleased. Gwen was not.
'But Jack...it's Ianto' she said in surprise, she had always assumed that Ianto would be the one to make announcements.
'Yes Gwen it's Ianto...a brilliant, witty, charming and self effacing man who is deeply under appreciated. I love him...and Torchwood needs him...when he returns tomorrow I suggest you all let him know how sorry you are' he snarled.
TWTWTW
Jack turned the key in the door and stepped into the hallway breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Ianto's coat hanging on the hook. He was home. Jack tried to step lightly up the stairs to Ianto's bedroom, standing at the doorway and watching him asleep in the bed.
'It's creepy you standing watching from the doorway' came a small voice from the bed.
Jack smiled, Ianto was not asleep after all.
'I didn't know if I would be welcome' he admitted in hushed tones.
'You are always welcome here Jack...I gave you a key..now get in to bed' said Ianto.
Jack stripped in double quick time and slid under the covers meeting Ianto's equally naked flesh.
'I didn't know if you were still my Ianto' said Jack.
Ianto smiled remembering their conversation when he had given Jack the key.
'I don't think I will ever be anyone else's Ianto ever again' he whispered snuggling backwards into Jack.
Jack grinned, he was edging Ianto ever closer to admitting his love, but for tonight he was happy to see his Welshman and to be in his arms once more. Ianto had told him he was more important than Lisa, that Jack would be his choice, he didn't need more than that.
'Are you still mad?...they're all really sorry...I'm sorry' said Jack.
'No I'm over it...it was stupid to get so annoyed..I know they didn't mean to be insensitive...I don't really know why it suddenly got to me...just anniversaries..you know?' admitted Ianto.
'Yeah...I know' said Jack softly.
'We can have anniversaries of our own' he continued 'our first kiss, our first date, the first time I stayed at your house...they will be the same as everybody else's...the same as you had with Lisa... and yet still unique to us' he finished quietly.
Ianto looked at him and realised the truth behind what he was being told.
'Yeah...maybe' he agreed.
'The hub has gone into meltdown without you and even Owen is desperate to have you back' Jack continued.
'Oh God...the hub is a mess isn't it?...I'm going to be days clearing up' sighed Ianto.
'Certainly not' hissed Jack 'do you seriously think I would allow them to get away with leaving everything for your return...they have all helped and all is shipshape' he finished.
Ianto was facing away from Jack and Jack curled around him, hugging him and beginning to kiss his neck. He kissed and licked just below his ears whispering.
'Come back...I need you...let me love you Ianto'
Ianto rolled over to look at him properly.
'My type of shipshape or yours' he asked pointedly refusing to allow Jack's kissing and nibbling to have the desired effect until he got a straight answer.
Jack shrugged.
'Probably mine...but we've all tried'
He passed his arms around Ianto and pulled him closer.
'Please come back...I miss you' he put his fingers to Ianto's lips 'not what you do...not filing or filling the SUV with petrol or feeding us, or finding files...I miss you'
'I missed you too' breathed Ianto.
They came together in a soft kiss that was full of sorrow for lost time and desire to make up for it. Tongues licked against lips and then against each other and the two men pulled closer feeling each other along the length of their bodies.
Ianto breathed in deeply relishing the unique smell that was his captain. Lisa had always smelt slightly of honeysuckle and he had loved that. Jack's scent was indescribable and Ianto just breathed him in, nuzzling into his neck and taking comfort in being back where he belonged.
Heads moved to the side and necks were subjected to kissing and licking as the two became increasingly aroused by the proximity of the other. They both lay on their sides facing each other with legs entangled so that their groins could be pushed together.
They continued kissing languidly rubbing erections together and becoming ever more excited. Jack took hold of Ianto's hand and entwined their fingers, taking both their hands and wrapping them around their cocks bringing the two into even closer contact and creating a channel for them to thrust into.
Looking into each other's eyes they began to thrust into their linked hands, tongues coming out to twist together and lick against the other, heightening the pleasure.
They began to thrust more strongly, finding a rhythm that suited them both and pushing together, feeling not only their hands but each other's hard cocks rubbing and straining together. Breathing quickened as both men began to lose a little control. Ianto's fingers on his spare hand were digging into Jack's bicep and holding tighter with every thrust.
'Jack' whispered Ianto getting closer to orgasm.
'Do it Ianto...I'm right with you' gasped Jack.
Thrusting lost all semblance of rhythm now as it became impossible for them to stay in sequence with each other. They were both struggling towards release and loosing themselves in the pleasure.
Suddenly Ianto stilled and Jack felt his cock swell and burst next to his, felt his come hit his chest and stomach. It was all that was needed to send Jack over the top and with two more erratic thrusts he joined Ianto in bliss pulling the other man towards him as he pushed his groin forward in completion.
The two lay panting for a few moments recovering.
'Ow..Jack ow!' gasped Ianto trying to pull away gingerly from the other man.
'Sorry...' whispered Jack reluctantly releasing his hold on their now too sensitive cocks.
They lay looking at each other and smiling, pleased to be back together.
'I spoke to friends from my London days yesterday' Ianto whispered.
Ianto watched troubled thoughts cross Jack's mind and despite the sticky mess between them he pulled Jack closer to him.
'I told them about you' he whispered.
Jack's face lit up. Ianto must be moving on to tell Lisa's friends that he had a new relationship.
'What did they say?' he asked wondering suddenly if they would disapprove and how Ianto would deal with that.
'About time' said Ianto.
'What?' asked Jack in confusion.
'They said it was about time...that I moved on...they said it was ok to keep living...to never forget..but to love again' whispered Ianto.
He had been surprised at their reactions. Some of the people he had spoken to had been friends of Lisa before they became friends of his and he had wondered how they would take the news. Yet every last one of them had been pleased, had told him he was doing the right thing, even that Lisa would not want him to mourn forever and would approve. Ianto doubted this, but then thought of his Lisa and how kind and generous she had been and realised she probably would want him to be happy. It had been a startling realisation.
He had been longing to see Jack ever since. Ianto had looked down whilst talking but now looked up at Jack again to gauge his reaction.
'Then I'm glad you talked to them' admitted Jack.
Jack became suddenly serious.
'Ianto...I know what it is to lose someone you love...how hard it can be to put yourself in a position to be hurt again' he whispered holding the other man's hand in his own.
'But over my long life...well ...I've realised that sometimes the joy is worth the inevitable pain...and for me it will always be inevitable' he gulped and tried to force down the emotions.
'I will lose you...I know that...if you don't leave, then eventually you will die..even if that's sixty years from now it will happen...but I want you...I want you enough to suffer the eventual pain...you don't have to have that pain ever again...I will never leave you and I can't die, it's safe for you to love me' Jack's voice wavered with need.
Ianto smiled at him.
'In sixty years I will be an old man...if I live that long...would you really still want me?' he asked with a slightly incredulous tone.
'Ianto...why must everyone insist on me being shallow? You'll still be you...I love you...I wish I knew how to convince you...yes it was your looks and sexy suits that first attracted me to you...but you don't fall in love with the way someone looks..it takes more than that..if that's all it was, you would have been a casual fuck..instead of which you are a major part of my life'
Ianto stopped Jack's tirade with a kiss.
'Ianto.. do you really believe I'm shallow enough to leave if and when you look older than me?' he asked fervently.
'I don't know Jack...you said yourself you left lovers before so that you wouldn't see them get old' said Ianto.
'No!..' Jack almost shouted.
'I said I left so that they wouldn't see me not get old...nobody before you has known about..me..you do..you know I won't get old..I don't have to leave to stop you being scared..it's different this time' Jack was begging to be believed.
'Our lives are so different' sighed Ianto 'our experiences have been so different'
Ianto had a sudden revelation. He and Jack needed to build some memories together, they needed their own anniversaries just as Jack had told him. He needed to stop remembering all the things he had done with Lisa and think instead of all the things he had done with Jack.
If this was a relationship then he needed to think about it in those terms and start building a memory bank filled with all the things they had done and said together. Their shared life, their shared experiences, their shared pleasures be they physical or otherwise.
'We need some point of joint experience..tell me about your childhood..you said you grew up with mom, dad and a brother in a small community...that sounds like my childhood..tell me about it..let's see what we share' offered Ianto.
Jack told him. He talked of Boeshane and his family and the other families, of the games they had played, the petty grievances and the shared joys. Ianto laughed with him and told him of similar experiences in his own childhood, marvelling that, separated by three millennia young boys could still find joy in many of the same things.
They discovered something that night. They discovered shared memories, things they had both experienced even though separated by thousands of years. They discovered the ways in which they needed each other and that whilst the past would always be a part of their lives it did not need to detract from what they had now.
They discovered each other.
Ianto discovered a new love.
