So, I'm so sorry for not updating this story all over break. I just lost interest. I recently recieved a review saying that this story was missed and that sort of resparked my interest. I know how annoying and disappointing it is for a story to just stop...and, again, I'm very sorry. Hopefully the wait is worth it! This is officially an AU in which Snow and Emma do not return from FTL. So, without further ado...
Time is a funny thing. It allows emotions to grow into something more. Furtive glances become loving gazes. Injuries become distant memories. Tenative aquaintances become friends. But, just as time is the bringer of stronger connections it also allows fear to fester. Many of the inhabitants of Storybrooke were quite perturbed by Rumplestiltskin's sudden disappearance, and the longer he was missing the more concerned they became. Regina's condition had improved a lot; she was nearly completely recovered. Her burns were mere scars. Her broken limbs were starting to bear the weight of a normal load. Belle found herself surprisingly proud of her new love. Regina almost looked like the woman Belle had met so long ago. It was almost a comfort to see the fiery eyes of the evil monarch returning. But, this Regina was different from her former incarnation. She was no longer evil, but she retained the strength of a queen. Hope for a better future was possible, and both women felt it. But, the threat of the Dark One's probable attack loomed over all their heads and, even in moments of joy, everyone was waiting for it to drop.
Regina sat in her office pouring over an old spellbook, searching desperately for some sort of protection spell for an assault she could barely imagine.
"What could he be planning?" she thought as she turned another page. Belle poked her head into the room, smiling.
"Are you ever going to take a break from this...this studying? You're going to wear yourself out, Regina." The younger woman quipped as she approached. Regina turned and shot Belle a small smile before returning to her work. Belle frowned playfully and snatched the book out of the former evil queen's hands.
"Belle!" Belle was unperturbed by Regina's slight irritation. She leafed through the pages, dancing just out of Regina's grasp. Regina rose to her feet.
"Belle, please. I just-" Suddenly, Belle slammed the book shut and leaned in very close. The rush of heat startled Regina; it gave her delicious pause.
"Just what, Your Majesty?" Belle asked, her voice coming out lower than she expected. Regina raised an eyebrow. She had never seen such behavior in the little librarian. It was brazen. It was inquisitive. It was...something Regina found very arousing. But, clearing the lustful thoughts from her head Regina smiled and placed a soft kiss on Belle's forehead.
"I just want to be prepared for when Gold comes back...Who knows what he is planning?" There was a small silence and the older woman pulled the younger into her arms.
"I'm scared, Belle. Rumplestiltskin has haunted me since I was merely a thought in my mother's head. He has pushed me to some of the lowest points of my life. He has hurt me and you...He has hurt us both so much. I want to be with you, laugh with you...But I can't so long as that monster roams free." They held each other a moment more, then parted gently. Belle placed the book she was still clutching onto the desk and turned to leave.
"Regina, I think I'm falling in love with you." Those words. That word in particular...A weakness. Regina could say nothing for a moment.
"I can't. Not yet." She thought sadly. But Belle was getting closer and closer to the door. Regina knew silence would weigh too heavily for another afternoon. How many times had Belle come to her this week? How many more silences would she endure before she stopped coming altogether?
"Belle. I...Stop." Regina said softly. The young beauty obliged her, but did not turn around. She knew Regina was afraid. She knew Rumplestiltskin could walk back into the mansion any day and tear down everything that they had come to cherish.
"At least I cherish it." Belle thought sourly. Regina had ignored many of her recent advances to further their relationship. She was always busy, or sad...or spending time with her son. All of that was fine and good, but Belle was craving something more. She wanted to spend these nights in Regina's bed, beside her. She wanted to take Regina into herself, to hold her there. She wanted to be more than "mommy's friend Belle" who no longer spent the night because Regina was on the mend.
"Does she not realize I'm not here because she's broken anymore...I'm here because...Gods, why am I here?" Belle thought darkly.
"Regina, I don't want to distract you. You're right about Rumple. I was thinking about heading over to the library. I havent seen Ruby in a while either. I've been so busy worrying about you, but you seem completely capable of managing for a bit..." Belle's voice trailed off. She couldn't hide the dissapointment in her voice and she knew it. Regina walked past her and blocked the door.
"Belle, please."
"Please what, Your Majesty?" Belle spat.
"Please, just wait. Once I find a way to-"
"I have waited. I have waited weeks by your bedside, nursing you day and night. I have patiently waited to be invited into your private moments and I'm thrilled to be present when that happens, but everything, and I do mean everything is on your terms and I am losing my mind waiting for you." Belle shouted, her emotions suddenly taking a life of their own. Silence hung in the air between them for a moment. The Queen's eyes became misty with tears. Belle felt foolish, childish...Regina felt old...She felt old and worn.
"Belle, I-" Regina's plea was cut off by a rush of heat. Belle took Regina's face into her hands and kissed her fiercely. Shocked at first, the regal woman began to soften. She wasn't ready for Belle to come into her world yet, for the younger woman to know all of her darkness, but this...this was something Regina hadn't felt in a long time. It was something she couldn't quite put her finger on. The older woman gently took Belle's hand in her own and soon their tongues were intertwined as well. Belle's free hand made its way to the small of Regina's back to pull her in closer. There was no space between their bodies. The former monarch pulled back to gasp for air. Belle's eyes scoured her lover's, searching desperately for some sign of light.
"Regina, there is so much to be scared of in this world...please don't be scared of me too." Belle whispered. For a moment Regina was speechless. She was terrified. If she let this woman, this beautiful thing, into her life...She had no idea what to expect. Things would be out of her control.
"But fear has brought me nothing but lonliness, nothing but cold icy walls..." Regina leaned in and met Belle's mouth once more. She pressed the younger woman a few steps back and into the desk. With a renewed fervor that the former Evil Queen hadn't felt since before Rumple's attack, she slid her hand down Belle's back. Shivers passed between them. Regina began to plant kisses down the neck of the woman beneath her who moaned lightly in response. Each kiss became hungrier and hungrier. Each caress became more urgent until Belle's deft fingers reached the top button of Regina's blouse. They paused on the precipice of their lovemaking. Belle's eyes begged for permission and Regina bit her lip and nodded. After all, this was her redemption. She was going to have to open up. That was the cost of happiness. Belle undid the first button, then the next, slowly making her way down until there were no buttons left. Regina smirked and allowed the top to slide down and off her body. She reached around to the zipper on Belle's dress and unzipped it with one long gesture. Belle smirked back and allowed the garment to fall. She kissed Regina deeply, then pulled away to speak.
"Regina, I don't want you to do this if you don't want to. I know I was angry, but I just...I just want-"
"You just want what, my dear?" Regina growled as her hand traced the open space of the younger woman's torso.
"I just want you!" The words burst from Belle's mouth before she could stop them. Both women were locked in each other's gazes, electricity flowing between them.
"And I want you, Belle." Regina answered, beginning to smile. Their lips locked once more and soon their hands found homes beneath the cloth that concealed their heated centers. They moved together, basking in the pleasure that they felt. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Both women scurried to make themselves decent. A tiny, male voice followed another knock.
"Mom? Are you still working? David said I could come invite you to Granny's." Belle scrambled to pull her dress over her shoulders, and in her haste she lost her balance and fell back onto the desk behind her. A laugh escaped her lips.
"Henry, I will be out in a moment. I just need to-" Regina paused, suddenly dumbstruck. She looked at Belle, panick in her eyes. Belle's mouth dropped open. She mouthed something along the lines of "You're in the middle of an appointment".
"Finish up the appointment I'm in. Give us a few minutes." Belle suppressed more laughter and was met with a warning look from Regina that would've been threatening if it hadn't been for the smile creeping into her lips.
"That's cool. I'll just wait out here." He answered. A few seconds later a rush of relief washed over both women and they found themselves laughing for the first time in a long time. Regina helped Belle off of the desk and affectionately pulled her in close.
"I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied lately. It's just...you know. It's been a while since I've gotten to know someone like this. I suppose I've been more apprehensive than I originally anticipated..." The Queen spoked softly into Belle's ear. Belle wrapped her arms around her lover.
"I know. I'm sorry that I got so flustered. I just worry that nothing I do reaches you sometimes. Your mind has been elsewhere and for good reason, I just...I just want to be with you. I want to soothe your wounds. Rumplestiltskin could attack us any day now, you're right. I just want to enjoy the time that we have in case..." Belle paused, overwhelmed with the weight in her chest. An image of losing Regina to her former lover flashed through her mind.
"I won't let anything happen to you, my darling."
"That's just it. I've watched you sacrifice yourself for me once...I can't let you die for me. I've been alone for so long, Regina. Even with Ruby...She doesn't understand what it's like to be so lonely for so long. She's got Snow and Granny that have always been there for her." Belle's voice wavered a bit, causing Regina to stroke her cheek and tighten her grip. The younger woman continued with a little snort.
"To be frank, some of that loneliness was caused by you directly so do me a favor and just be with me. You make me feel so, so I don't know. You make me feel protected. You make me feel whole. I know you're scared. I'm scared too...I just think that maybe if you let me hold your hand we won't be so scared anymore. We'll be together." She finished with a sigh and slowly ran her hands up and into Regina's dark locks. The older woman rose to the touch of her lover and closed her eyes, smiling.
"You're so brilliant, you know that?"
"I might. Tell me about it." Belle replied with a smirk. Their eyes met. A smoldering gaze passed between them.
"Why don't you come over tonight? We can pick up where we left off with the cider all those nights ago. Henry is staying with David this week, so there won't be any more interruptions. I do want this, us. I want us, Belle. But, if Rumplestiltskin is watching us we will certainly incur his wrath." Belle leaned in and planted a kiss on Regina's left cheek, then her right.
"Let him come. The most powerful magic of all is true love, and I doubt that's what you're going to find in one of your spellbooks. No, that's something you're going to find tonight. Now, let's go to Granny's." They finished adjusting their clothing then quietly exited the office. Henry was seated in one of the chairs near the receptionist's desk reading a book with a dragon on the cover. When he looked up he realized that Belle was holding his mother's hand. He arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. It was Regina who spoke up.
"Belle's coming with us, honey. She's my...We're-"
"We're together, Henry." Belle chimed in. The women exchanged a look, then waited for the boy to respond. His brow was furrowed in thought, but after a moment he chuckled.
"Oh, I know you guys are in lesbians. Don't look at me like that. It's a phrase I heard on the internet. Either way, I've known about you two for a while. I've never seen you look at someone the way you look at Belle, mom." Regina smiled broadly and blushed. Belle planted a kiss on her cheek.
"I think you guys are great together. Now, let's go get some food." Henry concluded. The three of them then trekked out of the office and into the autumn day. Regina took a deep breath and looked from her son to her new found love.
"I may know a lot about lonliness, Belle, but I certainly don't feel it right now."
"Neither do I." Belle answered. Together, they walked into the diner and slid into the booth that David was waiting at. He looked at their linked hands, then to Henry who gave a thumbs up.
"Let the Dark One come. I won't be facing him alone." Regina thought bravely as Belle leaned onto her shoulder.
"Fear is weakness, not love. No, love is something else."
