Two weeks, and SummerSlam had passed and things were definitely changing between Paul and I. He was acting more like the man I fell in love with rather than this stranger I'd been living with for the past month or two. Things seemed to be getting better but there was something in the back of my mind that had me feeling guilty about the situation.
Kissing Randy.
I'd debated with myself back and forth whether it was a good idea to inform Paul of the incident. Things felt like they were going so well, and I knew telling him that would cause a huge blow-up. But honesty, above all, was a trait my brother and I would forever have in common. I felt bad keeping it from Paul, particularly when he was finally showing me what I was asking for. There was no way I couldn't give him the same respect and not tell him about the situation.
Being a part of the Nexus, I hardly had a private moment with Paul to make my confession. We were at a house show and no matter where we went, there were at least two other members of the stable right behind us. Something I imagined - without hesitation - that Stu cooked up since he still 'didn't trust' that Paul and I were abiding by his all for one and one for all Nexus decree. I'd wait until we got back to the hotel and could actually sit and talk like adults about the situation.
I accompanied Paul and Heath during their tag team match. Playing the reluctant valet to the bad guys while attempting to interact with the fans and getting scolded by the rest of the guys. Once the match was over, I stripped out of the Nexus shirt to the tank top I wore under it and pulled off the arm band, shoving them both into my suitcase. I sat down to wait for Paul to shower and change so we could head back to the hotel. I reached into my purse to grab my phone, it beeped with in incoming message.
From Randy, it read: "Where you been, Cena girl?"
I smiled and sent a reply, telling him briefly that I'd been stuck with the Nexus crew and it was hard to get a few moments away. Though, I had a feeling he knew I was attempting to repair things with Paul, he'd been a little colder the last time we spoke in person and I could see disappointment in his eyes. For some reason, that hurt to see. I'd always thought I'd been nothing more than a little sister type to Randy, but over the last few weeks I'd come to realize that sentiment wasn't the whole truth. Maybe he had feelings for me now the way I'd had for him all those years ago. Maybe the feelings I had for him never totally went away, but I was already feeling guilty enough and didn't want to heap anything else on top of it all.
Randy replied again: "Really? Wanna get away?"
"I'd love to," I text back. "But tonight is bad. I need to talk with Paul about something. Potential rough night."
"Good luck?" He said. "What's going on?"
"I have to tell him... about the kiss. I know it wasn't a big deal... but I feel like he'll make it one if I say nothing."
"Regret it?" Randy asked.
"Regret, no. Feeling guilty, a little."
"Sorry." Randy said.
"Don't be. It's fine, really. I gotta go. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" I said.
"Yep."
With a sigh, I closed my phone and shoved it back in my purse as Paul came back into the room.
"All ready to go, Arianne?" He asked with a smile.
"Yeah," I blew out a breath. "Um, Paul... when we get to the hotel... I have to talk to you about something."
"Is everything okay?" He asked.
"We'll see."
The ride to the hotel was quiet and slightly awkward. I was going over how I'd break the news to Paul about what had happened. We checked into the hotel and once we were settled in, I tried to work up the nerve to tell Paul what had happened.
"So you wanted to talk to me about something, love?" Paul asked, settling down on the bed.
"Yes. Paul... a few weeks ago... something kinda happened." I paused, taking a deep breath. "I was hanging out with Randy and we were just watching movies and talking and I fell asleep... with him. I promise you nothing happened. I fell asleep fully clothed and woke up that way and so did he!"
Paul glared at me, folding his arms across his chest. "Is that all?"
"No," I hesitated and sighed again. "He kissed me... and I kissed him back."
Paul was quiet for a long stretch of time, just glaring at me. My stomach was in knots, I couldn't take the silence. I didn't even care if he yelled at me, I just wanted to hear something. Anything.
"And you... Arianne you were the one preaching at me to change my ways. And you think that was okay? You thought sleeping with him was alright?"
"I didn't have sex with Randy! We slept, in the most literal way, in the same bed, that's all! Nothing happened...!"
"Except you kissed him!" Paul yelled.
"I know! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Paul. I shouldn't have done it," I said, holding my hands up defensively. "It was wrong of me and I'm sorry. I can't take it back..."
"Do you even want to?" Paul interrupted. "I knew there was something going on between you and Randy Orton!"
"There's nothing going on with us! There's nothing happening! It was one time and I'm sorry for it!" I yelled. "Randy and I are friends, that's it! Nothing more!"
"And that's what friends do, right?" Paul snarled.
"God Paul what do you want me to say? I'm sorry. It never should have happened but it did and I'm sorry! It was a mistake!"
"You had the nerve to tell me that I needed to change. That you needed to see me doing something different. To make you happy! And this is what you do? And you claim there's nothing between you two. I'm supposed to just believe you now, after this?" Paul said.
"I understand that you're angry at me, and I don't know what else you want me to say! I should have told you when it happened. I didn't and I'm sorry. I really am." I sighed heavily. "I don't know what it's going to take to get you to believe me..."
"Right now, Arianne, I don't believe you. In fact, if it's Randy Orton you want to sleep with, why don't you go and do that tonight." Paul said sharply.
"What?"
"Get out. I don't want you in here tonight." Paul stood, grabbed my purse and threw it at me. "Leave."
My heart dropped to my toes. I had a feeling he'd be angry, but I didn't think he'd be this angry. Paul shoved my suitcase towards the door and grabbed me by the elbow, dragging me to my feet. He pushed me toward the door and I stumbled to grab my suitcase and pull my bag up on my shoulder. I pulled the door open and drug my suitcase out with me. The door slammed shut and I heard the lock click into place. I sighed, pulling my phone out of my purse and dialed John's number.
"Hey Ari-kid!"
"Hey John," I said. "Got room for your little sister tonight?"
"I always have room for you, kid. What's going on?"
"I'll explain when I get there. What room are you in?" I said.
"Six-twelve. Come on over."
"Thanks Johnny, I'll be there in a minute."
I hung up, stuffing my phone back into my purse and heading to the elevator. I was two floors below John and the elevator ride was quick. I knocked on John's door and he opened it immediately. John grabbed my suitcase, pulling it inside and I followed him in, shutting the door behind me. The couch was already pulled out into an extra bed and there was a blanket and pillow laid on it. I sat on the edge of the pull-out bed, dropping my purse on the floor, putting my head in my hands.
"What happened, Ari-kid?" John sat down next to me, putting a huge arm around me.
"I made a mistake. I owned up to it, and I told Paul. He's pissed at me and kicked me out of the room." I said softly.
John groaned. "He kicked you out? Why?"
"I kissed Randy. A few weeks ago," I lifted my head, sighing. "Paul and I weren't talking and it just sort of happened. Randy and I were hanging out and watching movies and stuff and we fell asleep together. Nothing happened. I didn't have sex with him, I didn't do anything. The next morning, he kissed me... I kissed him back. That's all. I told Paul and he was pissed. He told me if it's Randy I wanted to sleep with then I should go do that. He told me he didn't want in the room tonight, so here I am."
John squeezed me. "I'm sorry kid. Randy actually told me about that."
"He did?" I squeaked.
"Yeah," John nodded. "Randy and I talk. We're boys, he tells me stuff. I tell him stuff."
I sighed, unzipping my boots and dragging them off. "So what's he been telling you? Or is that breaking some kind of bro code and you're sworn to secrecy?"
John laughed. "Nah. He's always told me that if you ask, I can tell you. If you really wanna know."
"Why doesn't he just tell me himself?" I asked, leaning my head on John's shoulder.
"Beats the hell outta me. But he talks to me," John said. "He's got a thing for you. And he's got it bad. He isn't trying to step on toes or nothing but he's in it for you. He likes you is what I'm trying to say. He lost a little bit of control when he kissed you but he definitely feels bad for putting you in an awkward situation."
"I don't have guys do this, John," I groaned. "It just doesn't make sense. Guys don't lose themselves over me. I'm the friend, the little sister. I'm not the girl that guys fawn over. I'm certainly not the type of girl Randy Orton would go for!"
"Well obviously you are, Ari-kid. I can't explain it any better than you can try and work it out but Randy has it bad for you. I'm sure he spares me the gory details of exactly how bad he's got it for you but I know he does and he's not trying to play you. He's not trying to make you choose or anything like that. But he thinks you're too good for Paul, and frankly I agree." John said.
"You do?" I asked.
"Damn right I do," John said. "You're my little sister. I'm gonna think you're too good for any jerk who doesn't treat you right..."
"But how am I any better than that, doing this?" I groaned.
"Arianne! You're talking like you actually did something wrong with Randy. Sure it wasn't exactly the best move to kiss him but that's on him, too. But you owned up to it. You admitted your mistake and it's not your fault he blew up," John said. "You can't have predicted how he would react. You didn't do anything that hasn't happened a million and a half times. If you're going to be with Paul, though, I'd suggest you and Randy keep your mouths away from each other."
My laugh was shaky at best. "Yeah, I know."
I rolled out from under John's arm and sat in the middle of the bed, pulling my knees up to my chest. He patted my foot and leaned back on his hands.
"So tell me something, Ari," He said cautiously. "How do you feel about Randy?"
I sighed, pulling my hair to one side. "I've always liked Randy. As a friend, as more than a friend, as a brother. I didn't know how he felt. I guess if I had... maybe I wouldn't be in this situation now. Obviously you know I had a crush on Randy when I met him and I think I always have liked Randy in some capacity. I just never thought I'd ever have a chance. So when Paul came along and I really fell in love with him, I sort of forgot about how I felt for Randy. But... talking with him lately and us hanging out a lot. And the problems I've been having in this relationship... it just felt good to be wanted. I know I have feelings for Randy... and when we get put in a position where we're that close... I guess things happen."
"So then, when it really comes down to it, you have a choice to make," John said. "It's obvious from what you just told about how you feel, that you're preferring one to the other right now."
"I love Paul, I really do John... but I'm just thinking is it enough? We've been so back and forth lately and he's been trying so hard to do better when it comes to me. Then this happens and I feel so guilty about it. And I feel so awkward having feelings for Randy at the same time. I feel like I'm being split in half!"
John sighed, reaching over and squeezing my knee. "I know. But you've gotta sort things out, for your own sanity if nothing else. You can't keep being pulled in six different directions, that'll make you crazy. But I want you to do what feels right to you, and what's best for you. I can't tell you who to pick, how to do it, or what to do, but you just gotta do it."
"I know," I said, laying back. "So thanks for letting me stay."
"Of course. Any time, Ari-kid," He said and pulled me up by the arm. "Get up. Go change and relax. Sleep in the big bed, okay?"
"Oh, John! No, I'll sleep here. It's fine." I said. "I'm already putting you out of your room..."
"Nope. Don't argue. It's fine! Now go on, relax. You need it.."
I leaned forward, hugging my brother. He squeezed me tight in those big arms of his. It was one of those hugs that I needed. One of those big brother hugs that made me feel better about the word. I stayed there for a long moment, just enjoying the comfort a bone-crushing hug from John provided. My brother and I were always close, he was always there when I needed him and in this moment with everything going on around me, I absolutely needed him.
