Live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone
Hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
Before It's Too Late – Goo Goo Dolls
Chapter 12
Hold On Before It's Too Late
Roxas sighed happily, snuggling closer to the warm side that he was leaning against. Axel let a soft smile spread over his features; his arm tightening around Roxas' shoulders as the two of them silently watched TV from their place on the couch. The blond rested his head against Axel's shoulder, his nose just brushing the pale skin of the redhead's throat as he breathed deep of the scent of fire.
Axel's fingers traced lazy patterns over Roxas' shoulder, his cheek coming down to rest on Roxas' blond spikes as his eyes closed slowly, contentedly.
They had been together now for nearly 3 months, and Roxas could never remember being this happy. Every day seemed like an eternity, a forever to spend with this man that he loved. He was content and satisfied to spend each day with Axel, and he knew that he had done the right thing when he had helped Axel get back on his feet.
Roxas knew that Axel had tried hard for him, and he was immensely proud of the fact that the redhead had managed to clean himself up and get free of the drugs, now he was a man that Roxas was proud to love.
The redhead interrupted Roxas' thoughts by shifting slightly. "Hey Hero, do you have any medicine?"
The blond frowned, turning his head to look up at Axel. "How come? Do you have a headache or something?"
Axel nodded, raising his other hand to rub at his forehead. "Yea, a little bit of one. It's nothing to worry about though, no worries. I was just thinking it would be nice to take some meds and try to kill it before it really gets bad; it kind of reminds me of the migraines I was getting back when I first got into rehab."
Roxas nodded at that, pushing himself to his feet and leading the way towards the kitchen. He heard Axel get up after him, following him silently. The blond rifled through their medicine cabinet, smiling when he turned up a small bottle of aspirin. He turned around, the bottle held in his hand, but as he did his heart skipped a beat.
Axel was standing in the entrance to the small kitchen, pale as a ghost. His hand was braced against the doorframe, his knuckles white on the wood as he held himself there. He was shaking; Roxas could easily see that from where he was standing. Terrified, the blond took a step forward. "Axel?"
The acid green eyes met his for only an instant, and then they rolled up into Axel's skull, his body going limp a second later.
Roxas let out a cry, diving forward as the bottle hit the ground with a clatter. Axel hit the floor, crumpling up like a rag doll, his head bouncing off the hard, cold tile of the kitchen. He reached out towards the redhead, but his hands shivered and stopped just before touching him.
His head… I don't want to jar anything… but… Axel!
A door slammed open a moment later, Cloud running in looking a little frantic. "Roxas, what's… Oh God!"
Roxas moved back as his brother ran forward to kneel beside Axel's limp form. Cloud carefully ran his hands over Axel's neck, checking for injuries before carefully rolling the redhead over. There was a reddened bump on his forehead, his face relaxed but slightly pained. Cloud swore faintly, pulling one of Axel's eyelids open to check his pupils before carefully hoisting the limp form into his arms.
Roxas followed his brother as he went towards the door, running ahead to open the door before following him out of the apartment and out to his car.
Please Axel… please be okay!
"Axel… Axel, wake up!"
There was a sharp pain through his skull, and he winced faintly, his eyes squeezing tighter shut. Everything was a blur around him, only faint flashes of what looked like concerned blue eyes coming to him.
"See if you can get him to wake up, Roxas."
"I'm trying!"
No… he didn't want to wake up… the pain would get worse…
He felt something shaking him, and he moaned softly, the movement sending stabs of pain through his head.
No… stay asleep…stay away from the pain….
"Axel… please… please, open your eyes!"
There were gentle hands running over his hair, along his face. They were coaxing, gentle and soft as they tried to wake him. But above everything there was pain.
Pain….
White.
And it was really, really bright.
Axel had never been a big fan of white. He squinted, trying to block out the brightness of the room, but eventually his eyes got used to the torture and his eyes opened.
A hospital. But how had he gotten here?
The redhead rolled his head to the right, looking out the window that showed the hallway of the big hospital. He didn't see anyone that he knew right now, but his eyes moved back to the room, still searching. He knew that Roxas would be close by, or someone would be coming soon now that he was awake.
Sure enough, he spotted Cloud outside of the room, walking by the window towards a chair that was situated just beneath his sight on the right side of the window. The tall blond leaned down, and Axel blinked as he saw Roxas' spiky blond head come into view. The teen stood sharply as he saw his brother, and Axel could see the faint red of his eyes.
He'd been crying.
Why?... What happened?
Cloud rubbed a hand through his bangs, and then spoke softly. Axel wasn't much of a lip reader, so it was useless trying to understand what the doctor had said. He looked to Roxas instead, and felt his heart stutter.
Roxas' hands were over his mouth, and now tears were gathering in his eyes, though they didn't fall. The blond looked down, and then he slowly sank out of Axel's sight, his knees obviously not holding him up.
Oh no… what's going on this time? What's wrong with me?
He kept his eyes trained on the window, watching as Cloud bent down to comfort his younger brother, his face pained. Axel frowned, trying to see them, but failing and falling back to the bed as pain lanced behind his eyes.
He lay on the bed silently for a moment, breathing deeply to try and ease the discomfort he was in, and then the sound of the door opening made him open his eyes slowly. He turned his head to see Roxas closing the door behind himself, his blue eyes shimmering with tears.
Axel watched as the blond sat beside him, reaching out to take the redhead's pale hand. Roxas was silent for a long time, and then he spoke softly. "Axel… Remember those migraines you would get?"
The redhead blinked at this odd start to the conversation, but nodded, tightening his grip on Roxas' hand. The blond breathed in deeply, his grip shaking and tight as he raised Axel's hand to his face, rubbing his cheek along the back of Axel's pale hand. "They… they found out why you were having them."
Axel blinked, and then felt fear blossom somewhere in his chest. "Hero, what's going on?"
"There's…" Roxas swallowed, and the tears started to fall. One single tear fell down his cheek, and then he spoke again. "There's a tumor, wrapped around the front of the base of your brain, up into your brain and also down around your spinal cord."
Axel's eyes widened. "Hero…"
"You have brain cancer, Axel."
Axel's world shattered.
We don't own "Before It's Too Late" by The Goo Goo Dolls.
