Lucile sighs, "I'm sorry…I just don't love you."

He looks at her as if she's stabbed him, "Why…why do you…how could you possibly love him more?"

"I never said that…I just said…I just…he treats me differently." She gets to her feet, "You've always treated me kindly, but when I first met him I hated him and he hated me."

"Then why?! This makes no sense!" Vilkas shouts. He grabs her arm and whirls her around, "He'll never love you, men like that don't care about women, they use them!"

She shakes her head, "Vilkas please!"

"Then again maybe that's what you do, use people. All this time I thought there was a chance between us, but there wasn't, was there? All this time you knew you would never love me, not in the way I needed you too! I hope you're satisfied, you've successfully become a harlot!"

"Vilkas…no…that's not-"

"Enough! I'm going back…you can go have fun with him…I'm done with you!"

"VILKAS!" her plea falls on deaf ears as he leaves her there next to his camp. She collapses to her knees sobbing after the only person she really considered her friend. Guilty and alone she curls up there, staring at the dwindling fire. "I guess I really did use him…how could I have been so selfish?"

Part of her considers lying to herself and running after him, telling him she's sorry and that she does love him and wasn't ready to admit it, but she knows better. He might fool himself for a little while but it'll be obvious she isn't happy. Sniffing she sits up and wipes her eyes, "Oh Vilkas," her voice cracks as she snuffs out the fire, "you'll never know how sorry I am."

Getting to her feet she stands there uneasily, staring at the tree line where he disappeared. She tries her best to calm herself in those few minutes, watching the leaves sway. Wrapping her arms around herself she leaves the campsite and walks back to the cave they'd moved to. It'd been too dangerous to stay in the actual guild. Inside most of the thieves are asleep, all except Brynjolf. She can see his silhouette reflected on the curtain by the candlelight. She stands there for a moment or two, staring at his shadow. With a deep breath she pulls open the curtain and steps inside.

'

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She breathes on her hands to warm them as Farkas settles into the snow beside her. A woman is coming out from a ruin. This is where Brynjolf's protégé said his savior was camping. "I see her but…she doesn't look like much."

The woman turns slowly then, with a whoosh she takes off running through the snow.

"Oh by the Gods!...Let's go!"

The woman is fast and she knows her surroundings better than the other two, but the other two had a sense of smell that rivaled the best blood hounds. They follow her scent until they run into a dead end, "Where'd she go?" Farkas asks, whipping his head around.

"Farkas." Lucile says calmly.

"What?"

"Look up."

He does as he's told and then smiles, "Hello, could you come down so we can talk."

Lucile sighs, rubbing her face in agitation, "Listen, we're only here to talk…we're trying to find Mercer-"

The Dark Elf sighs and stares at them with harsh eyes, "Don't bother, he'll be dead soon."

Lucile grins in a twisted way, "By my hand maybe, just tell me where he is-"

The woman launches herself off the branch and fires an arrow at Lucile who dodges quickly enough for it to barely slice past her shoulder, "Wait!"

Farkas sighs and takes off after her again. The two change at the same time, letting their inner beast shift outwards and engulf them. Lucile relishes it for all but a moment, the moment she remembers why she's there, galloping through the woods. The corner the dark elf and she screams. Lucile claps a hand over a furry ear and growls at the woman, "Listen-" she growls through the mangled vocal cords. She changes back and sighs, ruffling her hair, "Now…are you done running?"

The woman nods, her eyes wide.

"Mercer is ours, we intend to rid the world of him. I don't care what your vendetta is, but he's crossed a line with me, and you don't want to get between me and my prey."

The woman spits on the ground and sneers, "Fine…fine, what is it you need to know?"

Lucile takes a slip of paper from her armor and smiles wolfishly, "Well…there's this. It's a location, once you've found out just where Mercer is, you'll bring that information to me."

The woman looks down at it and laughs, "You expect me to-"

Lucile cuts her off by slamming her fist into the rock wall, "You don't scare me. This intimidation thing you've got going, it can't even match up to mine. I could eat you without much thought, literally, I've done it before. We feed for strength."

The woman looks from Lucile to Farkas, "Fine…fine, I'll do what I can."

Lucile pats her cheek and turns away, "Come Farkas, back south, where it's warm."

Farkas nods and follows her down the snowy path.

'

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'

Lucile sits on the stone slabs leading up to Jorrvaskr. She doesn't want to go inside, not after it became apparent that two out of three of her friends want nothing to do with her. Whiterun is as it usually is, everyone milling around, doing their daily errands without second thought to what might be happening outside the walls. Lucile, meanwhile, was overburdened with it all. She can feel the weight on her shoulders as if someone's dropped a boulder on top of her and expects her to stand tall. She rubs her throbbing temples and sighs. Even though her decision still stands, she felt too bad to spend much more time with Brynjolf than a few stolen hours while his guild slept around them. She did what was needed and returned to her home to wait out the days. She looks down where her booted feet crushed down on a small thistle flower. She lifts up and plucks the distraught flower from between the flagstones. "So strong, with your mighty thorns," she says forlornly, "and yet, the lightest pressure from a being ten times your size and those thorns break off, and your defenses mean nothing."

She sets the flower down on the grass and leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees, "I was once like you, strong with many thorns waiting to cut at anyone who tried to touch…and now I just feel so tired. Strange, isn't it, a few tiny events and you're hopping a battle sweeps you away to the ever after."

"Wishing for death now are we?"

Lucile, still sore from the semi betrayal keeps her back to the woman who spoke to her.

"It's childish to ignore someone," Aela says, still not coming down the steps.

"And it's disloyal, to leave your companion because you're smarting."

"Your loyalty is the one that should be questioned."

"I know where my loyalty lies, if any of those thieves were to shed any companion blood, I would kill them before they got to speak, but you….you and Vilkas-" Lucile turns to look up at Aela, "Have you lost the meaning to sanctity of life? Have you forgotten that every life has a meaning, no matter how criminal their acts seem to you?"

Aela folds her arms, "Vilkas told me you love that thief."

"I never said that," Lucile says walking slowly up the steps, "I never once mentioned love."

"Then you prefer him," Aela sneers.

"I didn't say that either." Lucile feels now, the oncoming attack. Whatever Aela is building up to, it will be ugly but she refuses to act on guard.

"Then why? Why make Vilkas feel as if he is worth less than a thief?"

"I am sorry he feels like that, but I never said-"

"Don't act as if your words do not carry secret meaning!" Aela shouts.

Lucile straightens to her full height and looks down at Aela, "Exactly what is it you'd like to say? I say what I mean Aela, Vilkas wanted me to commit to him, I will not do something because it is convenient for someone else. My heart stands completely idle, but-" she holds up a hand to silence Aela who looks as if she's about to shout again, "Brynjolf brings me more pleasure. I can't deny I have more sexual attraction towards him, though romantics are far from my mind right now. I will not stand here and defend myself to you! No two people think alike, Aela. I've said it once and I'll say it again, if you're so scorned by my disinterest in a romantic relationship with Vilkas, perhaps you'd like to pursue one yourself. If not then please, for the Gods sake, stay out of my personal life." Lucile gives her a long hard stare before moving to go up the hill to the sky forge but Aela stops her with a hand on her chest, "No Harbinger, I'm challenging you, for your position."

Lucile smiles bitterly, "That is not how it's done."

"If you have any honor in your body, you will allow it to be so."

Lucile looks at her again and swallows, "If that is what you think of me, that I have no honor, then I will battle you. If I win, this subject will be dropped for good, if you win I will leave Jorrvaskr and never return."

Aela opens her mouth with a look of shock but Lucile holds up a hand, "These are my conditions, accept them or withdraw your challenge."

Aela steels herself and nods, "Fine, if those are your conditions, then I accept. If you win, I will never again doubt your-"

"Do not lie, you will never not doubt me now, it's been seeded in your head and that will be how you will conceive me forever more. I will not fight to win back your trust or your loyalty for I no longer need either, but I will fight to shut your mouth. I cannot overlook the disgust I see in your eyes, I will not lie to protect friendships, life is too short for falsities, now rally your favorites to cheer for you. I will only do this once."

Aela looks almost as if she's been struck, but never the less, she nods and walks inside Jorrvaskr. Lucile sighs and looks upwards. "Gods give me strength to win, and control to not hurt that idiot more than she deserves."

Everyone in Jorrvaskr showed up and now line the small stone practice area. Those new recruits that had been shaken by Aelas aloofness now stand beside Lucile, along with the twins who look calm and composed. One of them leans closer and whispers, "You can do this Harbinger, just strike at her fast and give her no time to use those arrows."

"Silly children," she says with a half-hearted smile, "There are no bows and arrows in a challenge."

The girls grin, "Then you have the upper advantage."

"No, do not mistake Aela's strength or talent with a blade because she uses a bow and arrow, to be a Companion you must master several fighting styles and every weapon imaginable."

"We haven't done that yet and we're companions."

Lucile smiles, this time with every ounce of her being, "That's because you girls have potential, as all new blood does. Over time you will learn them." She looks to where Aela and Vilkas are talking in a corner with Farkas looking uncomfortably between the two, "And if I fail," Lucile goes on, "and I lose this challenge…you will have to find another teacher…I would go to Farkas, his heart is not as easily swayed one way or the other."

"Why would we have to find another teacher?"

Lucile can't answer because Aela has just stepped into the circle and Lucile has to follow suit. Their swords clash and the dance begins. Aela is fast, just as fast as Lucile but not as powerful. Lucile dodges blow after blow and manages to land the flat of her blade on Aela's hip. The older woman hisses and steps back before lunging once more. This time she meets flesh, her blade slices easily through Lucile's armor and cutting her skin. She gasps and stumbles as Aela lunges again. Lucile sees everything slow and sees exactly what broke her heart. Aela was staring at the place she meant to hit, and her blade was pointed straight at it. Lucile could dodge, easily, but suddenly the desire to do so left her. Something rough slams into her, shoving her back as surprised cries echo around the courtyard. Lucile stares at Aela in shock, "You…you were aiming to kill me."

Aela swallows and Eorlund stares from one woman to the other. "This is not the Companions I know and love. There is no honor in fighting to kill your shield sister!"

Lucile looks at the sword in her hand and shoves it into the ground, "You've changed…that's fine, I yield, congrats on your win Aela, I'll be gone by morning."

"No wait Harbinger I didn't mean-"

"Stop!..." Lucile looks to Aela then to every face in the circle around them, "You fought to rid that title of me… you won… and now I hold up my end of the bargain…I will leave."

"Lucile, I didn't intend to kill, I just-"

"You've made your point Aela…you want me gone…and by the looks of it, so do most of the people around us. I won't make excuses, beg for anything, I've done nothing wrong. I refuse to slaughter people because they steal, stealing is jail time maximum, we only kill those who kill…that's the Companions I inherited as the Harbinger." She takes a deep breath and looks around again, "Therefore, as I see no one fit to take that role, I leave you now as the last Harbinger. It is our Tradition to pass on the title, that is how it is given. The Companions can apparently live on without this figure as it is not a leadership role but one for guidance. Aela, Vilkas, neither of you can give sound advice to save your life, you're so easily corrupted by your own jealousy that you would rather attack the problem then live with it for a short time. Farkas, the only reason I'm not giving the role to you is that you are still learning. If I survive without you as my shield brother, I will return to Jorrvaskr for one day to give you that role."

Farkas steps up to her and grabs her shoulders, "Don't do this Harbinger…Lucile, I'm asking as a friend. This fight between the three of you, it'll go away."

"Farkas…I will never be able to forget the look on her face…I will not stay where I am not wanted." She swallows hard and looks to the twins who look devastated, "Take care of my girls, eh, Farkas? I want them to be the strongest women in Skyrim…you know…" she has to struggle to keep her voice straight, "besides me that is."

Lucile smiles falsely and, clutching her wounded side she goes inside to collect her things. How can things change so fast? One moment she was joking with them, they were laughing at her antics, the way she played around with the thieves, then the next it's their greatest insult. She swallows her hurt as she packs her things away in a bag. How strange that there's so little for her to take even though this has always been her primary residence in Whiterun. Her own house seemed like a simple napping destination, a place she went for tiny stolen moments away from the others…where it's quiet and there aren't any sounds of bar fights and nord drunkenness. "And now I'll miss every bit of it."

She slings the bag over her shoulder and walks out into the hall, up the stairs, and out the double doors where nobody is waiting.

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Unfortunately this might be all you guys get for this week, merry Christmas, uh…and those other holidays I don't want to botch up how to spell and eventually insult someone.

The reason I'm not doing a three chapter update like usual is because …. Life is kicking my ass right now. I quit my job (don't feel bad it was terrible and I hated it), and my aunt and grandmother are crashing at my place. I don't know if I told you guys but my aunt was in the hospital since October, only getting out last week. She was on the verge of death and since she's the closest family member I have, I really got scared there for a while. Plus I might be losing the bestest friend I've ever had, she's decided to date my high school bully and blame this whole upsetting situation on my other friend, it's a long story but it's not my other friends fault in the slightest. There's just a lot on my plate, but I will get another chapter to you soon. I promise! I won't make any promises on the date but I'll see if I can get it to you by Friday at the earliest…or maybe earlier…I don't know, sorry guys I know things are starting to get good but I don't want to bum anyone out with my depressed writing…talk to you guys in the next chapter.