Rei barley had time to gasp as Drigger came spinning thru the air…and it was aimed straight for his head...


Tala noticed the change in Kai as soon at it happened. He narrowed his icy blue eyes when he saw what Kai was about to do. It had been years since he had seen those moves and it scared the shit out of him to see them again. "No fucking way…" he hissed under his breath. He barked a quick order to Ryan and both boys darted forward.


Rei on the other hand, didn't have time to do anything… so he just closed his eyes in anticipation of the pain he knew was only a nanosecond away. The moment after he closed his eyes, his whole body jerked sideways and he suddenly felt himself falling. He opened his eyes just in time to see his blade whiz by overhead. He hit the floor hard and his breath came out in a 'whoosh' as he felt someone fall on top of him.


Kai hardly knew what he was doing… all he knew was that it felt great. He hadn't felt this much power flowing through him in such a long time. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew something was wrong…knew that what he was doing was wrong, but that part of him was powerless to do anything to stop what he was doing. He forced Dranzer to slam into Rei's blade over and over again…and then with one last hit, he sent Drigger flying out of the dish, directing it right at Rei.

Kai was so focused on the task at hand that he didn't even notice the two people darting across the room towards him and Rei. Just before Drigger collided with its master, Rei was tackled to the floor. At the same moment something hit Kai's jaw - hard. His head snapped to the side and he took two steps back. Furious and not even thinking, he raised his fist and aimed it at the person who had punched him.

"Do it and I'll kick your sorry ass into next week!" Tala growled at him. He held his arms up and in front of him, protecting his body in case Kai did actually attack him.

"T - Tala?" Kai blinked, the darkness fading from his eyes as he seemed to once again be aware of his surroundings. "What in the…?" He looked past Tala and saw Ryan helping Rei get back on his feet. Kai's gaze darted back to Tala. "What did I just do?" he asked. There was a certain amount of fear creeping into his voice.

Tala relaxed his stance and took a step forward. Kai retreated one step, keeping distance between him and his friend. The panic he felt was clearly reflected in his eyes.

"Take it easy Kai." Tala said evenly. "Just calm down alright?"

By this time Hiro had stopped Nika's and Tyson's practice and the three of them were watching Tala and Kai intently.

"Answer me Tala!" Kai snapped. "What the fuck did I just do?"

Tala sighed and looked over his shoulder at Hiro and the rest of the gang. "Lets not talk about it here ok?"

Kai's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my gosh… "

Tala could see that he understood what he had done. He noticed Kai starting to shake and realized he had to get him out of here before he had a nervous breakdown. "Come on, lets go outside for a minute." he said, as he walked over to the other teen and started guiding him towards the doors.

Kai allowed Tala to lead him for a few steps before he stopped and turned back to his confused team mates. He looked straight at Rei. "I'm sorry." he said, the guilt and pain he felt over what he had done was evident in his tone. "I'm so sorry."

Rei nodded and smiled a little. "Yeah, it's ok. Just don't do that again alright?"

Tala pulled lightly at Kai's wrist. "Come on."

Tala led him outside and away from all the buildings before Kai finally lost it. Dropping to his knees he heaved loudly several times, coughing up bile since he hadn't eaten anything since the day before.

Tala stood a little ways away from him till he was done. Kai finally rocked back on his heels and just sat there. Tala walked over to him placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but didn't say anything.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Tala asked.

Kai sat silent for quite a while. Tala was about to give up and leave him alone when he suddenly took a deep shuttering breath and muttered something softly.

Tala felt the blood drain from his face as he looked at him. "What was that?"

"I said I want to die…" Kai said darkly. He looked up over his shoulder and Tala was somewhat shocked to see that there were tears on Ka's face. "If this is what it's gonna be like, I wont be able to live with myself Tala." He replayed his last attack over and over again in his mind. "I was about to kill Rei…kill him! He's my friend for fucks sake and I was about to slice his throat wide open. The thing of it is, I wasn't even aware of any of that." Kai paused, trying to regain his composure. "I cant let myself go back to that… If I go there again, I'll never be able to pull out. Black Dranzer is much stronger this time around… either that or I'm weaker than I used to be."

Tala sat next to Kai and looked over at him. "I doubt that you're any weaker now than you were 3 or 4 years ago. If anything, you've gotten stronger. Voltaire probably did something to enhance BD's power."

Kai snorted. "Oh fan-fucking-tastic."

"Kai… you promised me you would never try to kill yourself again after I found you that time. Can I still hold you to that?"

Kai shook his head. "I… I don't know Tala. If it's a matter of my life or someone else's, I'd hope I could chose the right one, and that may mean taking my own life." He glanced over at the red-head. "You understand where I'm coming from right?"

"Sure I guess." Tala was worried though. Kai hadn't been in a state like this since Tiffany died and he tried to off himself. There were plenty of other times when the boy had been depressed, but it had never again driven him to the point he was at now. At least not that he knew of. Kai was good at keeping secrets, but Tala could usually read him like an open book. He shook his head in defiance. "Kai look, I do get where you're coming from but there has to be another way."

"Yeah well when you figure out that other way be sure to let me know." Kai mumbled.

Suddenly, both boys heard a noise behind them. Tala jumped to his feet and Kai looked over his shoulder. Ryan stood a few feet away from them. Rei and Nika stood a few paces behind him, looking worried. Kai groaned audibly and looked away.

Tala glanced down at Kai and frowned, then walked up to Ryan. "Everything alright?" he asked looking past him to Rei and Nika.

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, its just that they wanted to see if he was ok and since they wouldn't shut up about it I thought I should come too. Is he ok?"

"No, not even close, but they don't need to know that." he answered quietly.

Kai finally stood up and walked over to Tala and Ryan. "Why are they here?" he asked nodding towards Rei and Nika.

Ryan looked at him. "They're worried about you." he said bluntly.

Kai sighed and went over to his anxious teammates. He looked at Rei. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. A little concerned about you though…"

"I'm fine." Kai said curtly. "Just tired."

Nika cleared her throat a little. "Um… Yeah, you know we don't buy that excuse right?"

Kai dropped his head slightly and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Look, I said I was sorry. I'm tired and I don't feel good… I have an awful headache that's making it hard to focus on things. I must have lost control of Dranzer… that's all there is to it."

Ryan and Tala walked up and stood next to Kai. Tala glanced at Kai out of the corner of his eye. He was extremely pale and he was sweating. He turned his gaze to Rei and Nika. "I think you guys should go back inside. Let Hiro know that Kai is done for the day… he'll be in his room if the team needs him for anything."

Tala spoke in an authoritative tone and as much Rei and Nika didn't want to go just yet, they knew they had no choice.

"Ok." Rei said starting to turn back to the building. "Hey Kai?"

"Hm?"

"Take care of yourself ok? Let me know if you need anything."

"Sure thing Kon, thanks."

Nika looked at Kai. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. Kai shook his head at her, understanding that she was struggling with wanting to stay and help. She shut her mouth and gave him a small smile before turning to catch up with Rei.

Ryan watched them walk off. He tilted his head to the side a little and looked over at Tala. "Want me to go with em?" he asked.

Tala shrugged. "I guess if you want. It doesn't really matter at this point." Turning to Kai he said, "You should get back to your room and try to rest a bit. You look like shit."

Kai just nodded and started to walk back toward the hotel. Tala and Ryan watched him go.

"You think he's gonna be ok?" Ryan asked.

"I honestly have no idea."


Kai absent-mindedly walked back to the hotel. Once inside, he made his way towards his room but stopped in front of the door. He stared at it for about 2 minutes before he started walking again. Eventually, Kai found his way back onto the roof. He sat down and leaned back on the wall next to the door, closing his eyes. He sat like that for quite some time, not sleeping, but not really self-aware at the same time. After a while, he came out of his trance like state and opened his eyes.

"How could I have been so stupid?" he mentally chided himself. "I got careless and let my guard down… I should have known better than to keep that damned thing with me."

He pulled the Black Dranzer Bit-chip out of his pocket and glowered at it. "Never again will you get the better of me you piece of shit." he mumbled. Then he laughed softly. "Ha! Damn Kai, you really have totally lost your mind if you've started talking to inanimate objects!"

He put the bit-chip back in his pocket and stood up. He was somewhat surprised to notice that the sun had started to set already, meaning he had been up on the roof all afternoon. He cracked his neck and stretched his arms over his head… and then spun around. He had heard something behind him and, fast as lightning, he was in a fighting stance with his center of gravity low and his fists raised. He quickly lowered them however when he saw who had alarmed him in the first place.

"Rei!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." he apologized.

"No, it's fine. What's up?"

"Nothing, I just figured you might be up here."

Kai raised an eyebrow. "Tala told you I'd be in my room."

Rei chuckled. "I think I know you a little better than that! You never do what your told. Besides, when you want to be alone you don't usually hang out in places where it's easy for people to find you. Oh, and if memory serves me right, you spent most of your alone time up on the roof tops when you first joined the team"

Kai smirked. "Yeah ok fine, you got me there. You really pay attention to the little details, don't you? But seriously, what are you doing up here?"

"I just wanted to talk to you I guess." Rei said as he nervously shrugged his shoulders.

Kai tensed a little. "About what?"

"You know what..." Rei looked over at him and sighed. "Relax! I'm not mad at you for what happened. I'm confused and upset, but I'm not mad and I don't blame you. I just want to understand what happened, that's all."

Kai groaned. "Ugh… Look, I already told you -"

"You told us a lie!" Rei interrupted him, golden eyes flashing. "You may be able to fool Nika with that BS, but I've known you a lot longer that she has, so that trick wont work on me."

Kai looked away and shifted his weight uncomfortably, but he didn't say anything.

"Kai, I just want to know what going on with you. If there's anything I can do to -"

"There's nothing you can do ok!" Kai cut him off angrily. "I… I cant tell you what's going on and even if I could there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it! You really wanna help? Than butt out of my life!" Kai loaded his words with as much venom as he could manage, but inside it was tearing him up. He wanted so much to tell Rei what was really going on… but he had to stick to his plan. He had to push all his friends away again… he had to keep them away or else he might end up pulling them down and destroying them all.

Rei was visibly hurt by Kai's words and tone. He studied the Russians face for any sign that the boy didn't really mean what he had just said, but there was nothing. Kai's eyes were clear and sure and his posture was confident, not defensive like it would have been if he was lying. Rei nodded slowly. "So that's how it is now huh? We're back to this… Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you. I guess we'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, sure."

Rei turned and walked towards the door. He grabbed the handle and opened the it, but paused halfway through. He looked back at Kai with un-shed tears in his eyes. "I don't know why you feel the need to hide behind this wall again Kai, but it scares me. I hope you know that you can still trust us… all of us. We're a team, but more than that, we're like a family and no matter what, we'll always be there for each other. Never forget that"

Rei closed the door before Kai could answer.


Well there ya have it... Sorry for the POV changes in the the beginning of the chapter. I tried to re-write if so it wasn't like that, but it just wasn't working out right so I left it alone. Kinda thought you might to see something from me even though it's not perfect. Then again, maybe I'm wrong. Lemme know what you think please? It'll help me a lot! Thanks!