AUTHOR'S NOTE: As you will see this is the last chapter written from Nessie's POV. I hadn't planned on writing this but was asked about what she was thinking and feeling, so here it is. I want to thank all of my loyal reviewers while I'm at it! You guys are seriously what makes me power up the lt when I'm tired and just want to crash. I still can't believe there are people out there that like this as much as I do! Anyway happy reading and keep the reviews coming!
I was just about at the tail end of my hysterics when I heard him. "Nessie, it's me, Jake."
Oh God no. I lifted my head, wiping away tears from my no doubt puffy bloodshot eyes. "I, don't, want, anyone, to, see, me, like, this." I hiccupped between sobs.
Jake moved slowly as he sat down beside me, like he was afraid I'd bolt again. He mirrored how I sat, his long arms hanging off his bent knees. "Well then it's a good thing I'm not just anyone."
I laughed a little, a semi smile lifting the corners of my mouth. "You're sure full of yourself." It was amazing, the tension and fear was already starting to leave my body. It was as if Jake was an emotional save for me. This doesn't make any sense!
He winked at me. "It's the only way to be baby."
I actually laughed this time. "I'll take your word for it."
We sat silent for a while, just watching the ocean. I could feel the fear melting away with every second I spent in Jake's presence. It was like I was absorbing the warmth of his personality. I could almost feel it chasing away the cold numbness that usually held me prisoner, even on a good day. Jake finally broke the silence. "We should head back."
I sighed; I didn't want to leave, not yet. I was enjoying the peacefulness that had settled around me and Jacob. Letting my head roll to the side, my eyes trailed over Jacob's strong profile. "Do we have too?"
His head rolled to face me. His teasing smile caused my spirits to lift on the wings of the butterflies that fluttered in my stomach suddenly. "Not if you don't want to share me yet we don't."
I rolled my eyes and pushed at his leg. Freakin' boys I swear. "It's not like that. I just need a little more time before I'm ready to deal with people again."
"You want me to go?" I could have sworn I heard a note of regret in his tone. I'm totally hearing things.
"No!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. It was just that I never EVER had gotten over an 'episode' this quickly. As I sat here with Jacob it was like it almost hadn't happened, or that it had happened to someone else. He's better then my meds. Sitting here beside him I felt…normal. Wow I had forgotten what that felt like.
Jacob's entire face lit up with his heart stopping smile. "So what do you want to do?"
I shrugged as I played with my hair. It's a nervous habit, shoot me. The truth was as long as he was here I didn't care what we did. "Whatever. It doesn't matter."
Jake looked around like he was trying to decide on something. "You want to hit the ocean?"
I looked to the ocean and then to him almost giggling. What the hell has gotten into me? I'm acting like, like, a teenage girl! "Why would I hit the ocean? It's never done anything to me." Oh God did I really just say that?
Jake shook his head trying not to laugh. "Totally lame."
I tried to look hurt. "It wasn't that bad!" My face cracked into a smile. Rachel is right I have no poker face. "Okay maybe it was."
Jake laughed. "Trust me, it was. Now, are we getting in the water or what?" I chewed my bottom lip as I looked down at myself. Going into the water meant taking off his shirt and being exposed. When I looked back up Jake's eyes had gentled. "You can wear it in if you want. I don't care."
I felt my heart flip as I realized he understood. He wanted me to be at ease unlike most guys who would have been giving me crap for it. I shook my head. "No. I'll uhhh be okay."
Jake raised a brow. Obviously that didn't come out all that convincingly. "You sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
I was right! He was more worried about be being comfortable than anything. Get a grip Renesmee. He's already seen you in the bathing suit…remember? Oh yeah, duh. "Yeah I'm sure." I stood and before I could change my mind I took off his shirt. I placed it neatly on the ground at my feet. "I would like to wear it again when we head back if that's okay?"
Jake gave me an almost approving smile. "That's more than okay with me."
I turned to look at the water so he wouldn't see the slight blush creeping into my cheeks. "Okay. Last one to the water is a rotten egg?" Again that came out more of a question then a statement.
"Prepare to stink!" Jake yelled laughing before hopping up and running into the water. A second later he dove in and disappeared below the waves. I ran towards the water searching frantically for signs of him. Where is he? I swear I didn't breathe until I saw him come up again. He had no idea of the panic he had just caused me or, judging by the look of worry on his face, maybe he did. "What's wrong?"
I looked down at the water. No way was I telling him I just about had a heart attack. "It's colder than I thought it would be." Yeah THAT sounds convincing.
Jake gave me the 'are you serious?' look before laughing, hard. "You're serious? It's too cold for you? I didn't realize you were such a priss."
I narrowed my eyes on him. Did he have some kind of hand book on me or something cause yeah he sure knew what buttons to press. I'll show him who's a priss! Raising my head in defiance I slowly entered the water. Damn this is cold!
I wanted to wipe the smirk from his handsome face as he stood there making fun of me. "Not bad for a chicken."
You want to know how to get me to do something, anything? Goad me. It's a character flaw, I know. "I am NOT a chicken." I said through gritted teeth.
He clucked at me, clucked at me! Can you freakin believe it! My lips pursed as I glared at him. How dare he! I was not prone to violence but I HAD to do something in retaliation, so I splashed him as hard as I could. Of course then it seemed it was game on, cause he started splashing me back. I hate to admit it but I squealed like a girl and tried to get away.
Every move I made Jake countered perfectly. I had my head turned away laughing when the splashing suddenly stopped. I looked around for Jake only to scream when he popped up beside me. Without thinking I pushed his head back down under the water. That'll teach him. I thought with a nod. My smugness only last until he came back up coughing as if I had swallowed half the ocean.
Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God. What had I done? I reached out on instinct to make sure he was okay. "Oh my God, Jake? Are you okay? I'm so sorry."
I expected him to be pissed, but he wasn't. Instead he gave me a mischievous grin. "Not yet but you're gonna be."
Say what? I blinked up at him honestly confused, "what?"
Before you could say WTF I was suddenly in his arms. "If I were you, I'd hold my breath." He warned grinning. A part of my brain was trying to wave a red flag of warning; I SHOULD be panicking over this.
He couldn't possibly be thinking of throwing me, could he? My eyes widened as I realize that was exactly his plan. "Oh no you're not!" Bathing suits, especially ones this flimsy had a way of coming undone in such cases. No way could he be allowed to throw me. I wrapped my arms as tight as I could around his neck to try and keep him from accomplishing his goal.
Jake of course thought this was all very funny. "Funny, 'cause I think I am."
"Don't you dare, Jacob!" I hissed as I wrapped my legs around him. When he tried to pull me off I held on tighter. This had somehow become a battle of will for me that I had to win. It made no sense, I know but it was what it was. I was NOT going into the water by force.
Jake no doubt opened his mouth to say something smart but instead I heard, "WHAT THE FUCK?"
I looked over to see Embry standing on the shoreline looking even more pissed off then earlier. I scrambled to get out of Jake's arms; the position suddenly seemed very intimate when it hadn't been before. Hell maybe it had, I just hadn't been thinking. When was the last time that happened?
Jake stepped in front of me, sheltering me from the dark angry look in Embry's eyes. "Embry, man. It's not what it looks like."
I couldn't see him, but the fury in Embry's tone was unmistakable. "What the fuck ever. Sam says to get back. Rachel's worried."
A sad sigh left Jake before he turned back to me. "Guess we need to head back."
"Umm. Okay." I couldn't meet his gaze. I was mortified by my behavior. How could I let myself act this way? This wasn't me, not anymore. I wasn't some normal girl flirting with a cute guy, I was a messed up train wreck of emotions with my baggage scattered everywhere and anywhere.
As I waded out of the water slowly, Jake jogged over to where I had left his shirt and brought it back to me.
When I was completely out of the water I took it and quickly put it on. The awkwardness that hadn't been in the water was suddenly choking me. "Thanks." I managed to squeak out.
I was busy playing with my hair when Jake's hand came into view. "You ready?"
I stood there staring at his hand. I couldn't breathe. Something inside me was warning that this was one of those moments that could change my life forever. I was at the preverbal fork in the road. I could stay on the path I was currently following or venture into the unknown. I looked up into Jacob's patient non judgmental face. He wasn't going to pressure me one way or the other. Something seemed to click into place. The unknown path it is. Taking a deep breath I placed my hand in his and our fingers intertwined. "Not really." As soon as my hand touched his a calmness washed over me chasing away the worry and fear.
"I don't blame you for not wanting to share me either." Jake teased.
I rolled my eyes but the effect was ruined with my laughter. "Yeah. Okay. Whatever you say."
Jake just smiled down at me as we started to make our way back to the rest of the group. Our pace was slow. Neither of us was in a hurry to get back I guess. I wasn't in a hurry because I didn't want to face the twenty questions I knew Rachel would have waiting for me, especially if she saw us holding hands. I was guessing Jake wasn't in a hurry because he wasn't ready to face Embry. Whatever his reason, I was glad. It was nice to be 'normal' with someone again. It was a feeling I knew would be tested as soon as we got back to the others. Oh well, nothing gold ever stays, right? A part of me hoped just this once, maybe that song was wrong.
