Morning Comrade,

Actually, maybe it's not morning where you are? Not that you'll read this anyway. It's Wednesday 6 pm, and I'm waiting for Celeste to arrive. We're headed to my Qualifier today. I found I'm going to see Guardian Schoenberg at the Badica's house outside Billings. It's a five-hour drive there, so we're leaving early and should be there about midnight. I'm to spend the day doing my Qualifier and then Celeste and I have been invited to spend the night at the Badica's and head back Thursday.

I'm nervous about the Qualifier but also about staying over at the Badica's. I'm hoping there's like a separate Guardian area or something and they won't even know we're there because it doesn't seem likely for a royal Moroi family to invite a Guardian and a Novice to stay?

I'll be missing a few days classes, but it's probably just as well. I haven't been sleeping well at night, so I've been sleepy during the day. Yesterday I fell asleep in Stan's class. He went off his head and bitched me out so I told him to fuck himself and he kicked me out of class. He did me a favor because I went back to my room and slept for two hours and felt heaps better.

Nothing else is happening here. Celeste and I train and I go to class. It seems like I hardly see Lissa these days. She's spending a lot of time with Christian. Hopefully, I'll see a bit more of her after classes finish for the year on Friday.

I dreamed of you last night. We were in a flat somewhere. Our flat where we lived together. In my dream, we woke up and you made me breakfast and then we made love. It felt so real that I really thought I'd open my eyes and be beside you, but of course, I wasn't.

Where are you, Comrade? Are you still safe? I wonder about the others you're with. Do you talk with them, or are you keeping to yourself? Do you know anyone there? I hate to think of you being all alone, but then you can be surrounded by people you've known all your life and still be horribly lonely. Trust me, I know.

I'll email you again after my Qualifier. Hopefully, I'll pass so I can do my field experience in the New Year. Who knows – you might be back by then! With you gone it feels like a part of me is missing. Keep safe and know that you are so very very loved.

Always your,
Roza

I'd just pressed send when I heard a beep from downstairs. I looked out the window and saw Celeste waving an arm out the window of an Academy SUV. Shouldering my duffel bag, I bounded down the stairs and into the warmth of the car.

"Hey – you ready for this?" she asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I groaned.

"You alright? You look tired."

"Yeah. Just having trouble sleeping. Too much on my mind, I guess. And when I do fall asleep I've been having really wicked dreams…"

"Wicked good dreams?" Celeste said giving me a naughty look.

"Yeah well one of them was," I said with a guilty smile. It had been awesome! It had been Dimitri and me in bed and boy did I wake up smiling…

"Most of them I can't remember properly other than they're very bright. It's just annoying because I'm tired but can't get to sleep and when I do I have these full on dreams and then the next day I'm exhausted and falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I think it's from changing human to Moroi times. My body clock is still all stuffed up."

Celeste nodded. "You get used to it after a while, not that I've had to change times for a while. If it's just one day, I usually stay awake and work through."

"So have you done enough extra shifts to take the days off while your family is here?"

"Yeah – all but one day. Alberta knew I was hoping to take the whole time off, so she said I could owe her one. I'll pick up another extra shift once they've gone home."

"That's nice of her," I said. Alberta was an amazing Guardian but also a kind person. She looked out for the Novices and Guardians in her care

"Yeah, it is. I try to save my annual leave and visit my family for two weeks every June, so I'd rather pick up extra shifts where I can to get time off when they visit here."

Celeste and I wouldn't be training while her family visited. I was a bit bummed about it but completely understood. Plus I was hoping maybe Christian's Aunt might want to train with me while she was visiting. She'd known Dimitri for a long time, so I was hoping to find out more dirt on my man.

Sigh. Dimitri.

I thought time was meant to make feelings fade, but that sure as hell wasn't happening. If anything, the longing was getting worse. After the trip to Missoula with Lissa and Christian, I'd been desperate to hear his voice. On a hunch, I'd dialed his number. I knew it wouldn't be answered, but I'd hoped he might have voicemail set up. He did, so I rang over and over again to hear his soulful voice say 'You've reached Dimitri Belikov. Please leave a message.'

Opening my eyes, I pulled myself back to the present. Celeste had done a kind thing offering to be the one to come with me to my Qualifier. The least I could do is try to make sure she didn't regret it.

Five hours was a long time to drive, so we spent the time chatting. Celeste told me all about her family. It turns out her Moroi Dad and Dhampir Mom were still together. They'd been together since high school, her Mom remaining his mistress when he'd entered into a semi-arranged marriage with another Moroi royal. Celeste was twenty-eight and had two younger Moroi half-siblings from her Dad's marriage. When her Dad divorced some ten years ago, he moved in with her Mom, and eight years ago they had her sister Stella.

"Dad and I get along well but we're not super close," she admitted. "I mean he was around when I was growing up, but always as a visitor, not a full-time parent. By the time he'd divorced and moved in with Mom, I'd all but graduated. Still, it's nice we're developing something of a relationship now, and he's a wonderful father to my little sister Stella," she said sounding a little wistful. "What about your family?"

"Not much to know there. Mom dropped me at the Academy when I was four. I've seen her a handful of times since. I haven't seen her since just before I was fifteen. I don't know anything at all about my father." I paused while I thought about that. "I've always kind of hoped he'd look me up one day." I shrugged. I didn't even know if he knew about me.

We stopped for breakfast at a Burger King. "God I miss junk food," I moaned into my burger.

Celeste chuckled. "Yeah, I miss it, too. Every time I know a Guardian's going into Missoula I get them to pick me up a burger and a Krispy Kreme."

"One Krispy Kreme?" I asked, shocked.

She shot me a sideways look. "No – a BOX!" she clarified and we both cracked up. I was actually laughing so hard I was nearly crying. And then I did start crying because I realized it was the first time I'd really laughed since he went away.

"He'd want you to be happy," Celeste said, knowing without asking what was going on and passing me a napkin from the fast food bag.

"I know. That's pretty the last thing he said to me," I admitted. "It's just so hard when it feels like half of me is missing."

I didn't say anything more. In fact, I'd probably already said too much. Celeste knew Dimitri and I were more than mentor and student, but I wasn't sure if she knew just how far beyond that we'd strayed.

We listened to the radio, thankfully not 80s or Country, Celeste told me some amusing gossip from around campus, and I filled her in on some of the Novice happenings.

"You're not seeing anyone?" I asked shyly.

"No," she said casually, but I could see her knuckles go white where she gripped the steering wheel. "There was a guy… But he did a real number on me. I haven't wanted to go there again since. I have a bit of fun from time to time, but nothing serious."

"I'm sorry," I said, and I was. I wished I hadn't asked, now.

"It's ok. It was a long time ago now, and I got through it. Just not keen to go a second round, you know?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I do."

We stopped to get petrol and use the restrooms and Celeste checked directions. We were getting close to our destination and I was starting to get nervous.

"We've made good time. They're not expecting us until midnight but we should be there about 11.30," Celeste commented. "Do you think it will be ok to arrive early?"

Obviously, I wasn't the only nervous one. Actually nervous was an understatement to describe how I felt. I was completely shitting myself. I know Qualifiers were meant to be a chat about being a Guardian and what it took and our attitudes, but surely that could have been done over the phone? Eddie and Mason had said theirs took about an hour with a panel of Guardians – but Alberta said mine would take quite a few hours and would only be with Guardian Schoenberg. Oh man, I hope he didn't want to spar with me. The man was a freaking God. I could feel my hamburger rolling around uncomfortably in my stomach and wished I had decided on something a little less greasy.

"It's a long drive so they'll probably expect our arrival could be a bit variable," I assured her.

And before I knew it we were driving through a set of ornate gates and up a long windy driveway. Stopping in front of a large stone house my stomach was churning and it was all I could do not to throw up. I honestly felt queasy as hell. There were no lights on inside or out but it wasn't snowing just now, and the moon was out, so even though it was behind a cloud, we had some light to see by. It was quiet. Too quiet.

"Celeste? Is there a spare stake in the car," I asked very softly remembering how queasy I'd felt just before I'd encountered Strigoi Natalie. Celeste looked at me alarmed, pointing to the glove box. I opened it and noticed two stakes. I grabbed both. "Do you have a second?"

She nodded. "Do you think there's a problem?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's part of my Qualifier, but I have a bad feeling. You're the senior – what do we do?"

"Call it into the nearest Guardian stronghold as a precaution then investigate," she said decisively. "Keep a good watch," she ordered, grabbing her phone out of the cradle so it wouldn't go through the car Bluetooth system. She made a quick call whispering the required information and agreed that if she didn't call back within twenty minutes backup would be sent.

Phonecall done, Celeste ran through instructions on how we'd handle this. Basically, we'd try and stay together and I was to obey any of her orders instantly and without question.

Silently exciting the car my stomach kept lurching, waves of nausea passing through me, but I ignored them. We were almost at the front door when a cloud passed from in front of the moon and we could see the front door hanging from its hinges. We stopped to look at one another and we heard a scream from inside.

Not stopping to contemplate, Celeste ran inside towards the now unmistakable sound of fighting. We found ourselves in a large room filled with comfortable couches and a roaring fire. It was also filled with Strigoi, or so it seemed.

They looked older and scarier than Natalie had. Yet in the back of my head, I heard Dimitri's voice telling me not to hesitate, and so I didn't. I had a stake in the heart of one from behind before they were even aware of our presence, Celeste managing to do likewise. On the other side of the room, Guardian Schoenberg was fighting one Strigoi as nine others circled waiting for their chance. Well. Seven now thanks to Celeste and me.

Now aware of our presence, several broke away to face us. Using my panic as fuel the way Dimitri had taught me, I engaged with the closest. He had been Dhampir and was fast – nothing had prepared me for just how fast – but at the same time he was sloppy; obviously used to relying on his speed to the detriment of maintaining his skills. After being the recipient of several almost bone-crushing hits, I was able to sneak in under his defenses. And with the not insignificant speed of my own, I downed my second Strigoi, sliding the stake cleanly into his malevolent heart.

Kicking his body away, I turned to face another opponent. I could see Guardian Schoenberg had succeeded in getting a couple down and Celeste staked her second just as I engaged with my third.

This one had been human before she'd been turned, so while she had Strigoi speed and strength, she lacked the understanding of how to best protect herself from a Guardian. It was almost as though she'd never fought a Guardian, well ok – an almost Guardian – before. Maybe she hadn't? In any case, I used the fact she was mostly focussed on defending her upper body to kick the side of her knee, causing the bone to shatter and her to tumble. As she fell, I straddled her, sliding my stake between her ribs and up into her heart.

Three for three! I was on a roll!

There were three left when I heard an order barked at me.

"Hathaway! Get upstairs. The panic room is in the Master Bedroom, straight ahead at the end of the corridor, entry via the French armoire. They won't let you in, but use the radio there to ID yourself and check if everyone is in there. There should be six – three children, three adults."

I nodded, leaving Celeste and Guardian Schoenberg to finish off what was hopefully the last of the Strigoi as I carefully crept up the stairs. Everything seemed quiet and undisturbed, but I was still wary. Making my way to the Master bedroom, I found the big cupboard I thought was an armoire and opened the door. Yep. Panic room. I picked up the radio handset next to the solid steel door, clearing my throat before introducing myself and asking for confirmation that the entire Moroi family had made it within.

A distressed man's voice replied almost instantly saying all but their three-year-old son was inside. In the background, I could hear a woman's distressed pleas for me to find him.

"Please remain calm. I'll search for Lord Badica now. If you have a phone or cell phone, please call through to your closest Guardian stronghold and let them know it's a confirmed attack with at least ten Strigoi, two Guardians, and one Novice." I instructed before closing the door to the cupboard and creeping back along the hallway looking for the kids' bedrooms. I was standing in a doorway when I saw the handle on the door opposite me turn. I slipped into the room and behind the door, peeping through the crack in the door jamb to see a Strigoi exit the room and head to the next.

Shit! I hoped he was the only one up here; else I was screwed!

I was pondering whether to wait for him to find me or to go after him when I heard the tiniest noise behind me. Turning, I saw a little boy hiding in the drapes on the other side of the room looking at me with huge scared eyes. At least I'd found the boy before the Strigoi had. I held my finger up to my lips, lifting my stake and showing it to him. I didn't have a promise mark, otherwise I would have pointed to that, but hopefully my tentative smile and my stake would reassure him enough not to scream and give our position away.

I turned back to the doorway and only just in time. The door opened and standing there was the Strigoi I'd seen leaving the room opposite. He looked at me and smiled.

"And what do we have here? Appetizer and main course?"

Damn! He'd spotted the kid. He'd want to feed on Moroi blood as quickly as possible, so he'd be stronger or gone by the time the inevitable Guardian reinforcements arrived. Which meant he'd want to dispose of me as quickly as possible.

"And aren't you just the charmer," I said facetiously. "It's been a while since a guy's told me I look good enough to eat…"

He stepped forward a little eying me up and down. He'd been Moroi before he'd turned and like a lot of Moroi men, he found my curves appealing.

"You do look good enough to eat, my dear," he said with an oddly formal speech. Either English was not his first language, or he spoke an older English than I was used to. Hopefully the former because if it was the latter, then he must be really old which also meant really strong. "However I'm afraid I don't have the time today to savor you as I'd like. Besides as good as you taste, your little friend there will taste better…"

But he never had a chance to find out, because he crumpled at my feet – staked from behind by Guardian Schoenberg.

"Lance this is Novice Hathaway – she's a friend of mine," Guardian Schoenberg said addressing the child hiding behind the curtains. "I need you to go with her into your parents' bedroom and wait for me there. You need to do whatever she says," he ordered in a firm but friendly tone.

"Yes Uncle Artie," the lad lisped, coming out from behind the curtain and taking my hand.

"Hathaway I think we're clear. Take the boy to the panic room and let him speak through the radio with his parents – they'll be very worried. Stay on guard and tell them to remain where they are until backup arrives. Matthews and I are doing a thorough sweep."

"Yes sir," I said, obeying his order immediately and without question. Leading the child to the Master bedroom, I went back to the armoire and again used the radio to communicate with those within.

"Novice Hathaway reporting. Have located the child and he is safe here now. Guardians Schoenberg and Matthews believe the situation is contained but advise you to stay in the panic room until backup arrives. I will stay on guard with the child."

I looked down at the little boy who was still looking frightened.

"Sweetheart, you can talk to Momma through this. Tell Momma you're ok – she's very worried."

It took a bit of managing but we timed it so they could talk back and forth. It seemed like I was standing there for hours, but it was probably only ten minutes later when Guardian Schoenberg appeared along with a bunch of Guardians I didn't know.

"Stand down Novice Hathaway," he said kindly before picking up Lance from where he stood beside me, grabbing the radio and giving the all clear to the family within the panic room.

They emerged a few moments later, clearly distressed.

"Hathaway, please join the Guardians downstairs in the main room. You will need to identify your kills, and then you can observe the cleanup." I nodded, waving goodbye to the little boy who was cuddled in his weeping mother's arms, walking down the corridor and to the room downstairs.

Two of the Guardians, Merson, and Rodriguez introduced themselves and ran me through the ID and cleanup, occasionally asking me my opinion or a question. It was all fairly textbook, so if this was to form part of my assessment, I was pretty confident I was doing ok. We were wrapping up when Celeste came in, coming straight over and without preamble hugging me.

"How are you feeling?"

I looked at her. Yeah – I'd just killed my first three Strigoi. I hadn't even stopped to think about it, yet.

"Ok, I guess? I'm sure it's going to hit me later."

"Probably," she agreed. "But you did a magnificent job. There aren't a lot of Novices who could pull that off, particularly after missing two years of training. He'd be very very proud of you." She whispered the last part so only I could hear it.

Yes. He would be.

Once the main room had been returned to rights as much as possible, the bulk of the Guardians retired to the kitchen. I was sitting there with Celeste when Guardian Schoenberg came in. He spoke with some of the Guardians there making arrangements. The family were worried about the attack and were preparing to leave for court at first light. Everything with the family and the Guardians arranged, he poured himself a coffee and came over to where Celeste and I were sitting.

"Now may I formally introduce myself? I'm Arthur Schoenberg and the assessor for your Qualifier today," he said wryly, holding out his hand.

"Rose Hathaway," I said shaking his hand.

"Belikov was right about you," he said. "When he rang me and asked me to do your Qualifier I told him I couldn't be bothered dealing with Novices. But he told me you were exceptional and that I'd kick myself if I passed up the opportunity. Not that I was expecting to get a chance to see you in action," he said raising his eyebrows. "I've been a Guardian a long time, and I've never seen a Novice pull off anything like you did tonight. If you two hadn't been here, the outcome would have been very different. Congratulations – you've passed your Qualifier and I'll be writing you a glowing letter of recommendation."

"Thank you. He's an amazing mentor," I said smiling softly, dropping my eyes to the counter and trying to stop myself crying.

"Yes. It looks as though he is. I'll be sure to make sure Belikov knows how well you did tonight," he said kindly. "The two of you are close, aren't you?" he asked curiously. Something about the way he said it made me wonder whether he suspected.

"Yeah, we are. He's on leave at the moment," I said sadly, sticking to the party line. "Visiting his family, I think."

"Rose? I know where Belikov is and the circumstances involving his leave," Schoenberg said confirming what I already suspected. "We're concerned tonight was not a random attack and I need to communicate that information to the Guardian in charge where he is. Is there any message you'd like me to pass on to Guardian Belikov?"

I stopped to think. I couldn't send a love message to him, much as I wanted to. So instead I said, "Could you tell him Roza is missing him like crazy?"

"Roza?"

"It's my name in Russian. It's his nickname for me and I call him Comrade," I said, my voice quivering infinitesimally. I hoped hearing me refer to myself as Roza would let my Russian God know the message I was wanting to send. That I loved him. That I wanted him. That I was his.

"Right then. Can you and Matthews follow me to my office?" Schoenberg ordered standing up. "I'll just make that call and then sign off on your paperwork," he said, suddenly all business again.