Erasing Impossibility 12: Star & Hierophant
First of all, I would like to apologize for the long wait. I had all of the ideas ready and yet I couldn't seem to find the words when I wanted to write them. Plus, I have so many things going on thanks to uni, especially since my finals for this semester is coming up. And I have been... in a terrible mood lately so it doesn't help with my writing at all.
Therefore if any parts of this chapter seems either rushed, half assed or just plain bad... I am sorry. I tried my best and this is all I can offer to you with my current state.
For a better feel of this chapter, I strongly recommend you listening to "Life is Full of Goodbyes" Cover by Akatin before you start reading.
Warnings: angst, fluff, friendship, suicide attempt AND mentions of said suicide attempt, CREEPY OLD MEN PLOTTING
I wake up to poundings on my apartment door.
It takes me a few moments to process, but there is someone who is pounding on the door and- Is that Kakashi's voice?
It is, Rinny answers, yawning loudly. It's definitely his chakra, too.
Feeling confused and worried-because Kakashi is not someone who acts like this-I quickly rush to the front door, simply wearing soft purple pajamas and bunny slippers. Not that I care. And when I open the door to see Kakashi's anxious face, I know he gives no shit about my attire either.
"Rin," Kakashi shouts out, his hand reaching out to hold mine. He tugs it, an indication that he wants me to follow him. His chakra is agitated, rolling and spiking in waves. Hasty, insistent, scared. His dark eyes are wide, panic and fear clearly visible within them.
"Rin, you have to-" He chokes out, "my father-"
He does not need to elaborate some more.
It is at that very second that I feel like a lightning has struck me, and Rinny herself lets out a gasp of realization and horror.
No!
"W-Wa-Wait! Sandals!" I don't quite manage to slip my feet into any shinobi standard sandals, and end up running outside with my bunny slippers as Kakashi drags me out of the apartment. The door is quickly shut behind us, and if it's not an emergency as this one, I would've been concerned over its unlocked door. But unlocked door be damned, because if my assumption is right, the very reason of Kakashi's fear is Sakumo's attempt on seppuku.
Dammit, Sakumo, I can't help but curse inwardly as we speed through the streets, boosting our movements with chakra. I've talked to him, is it not enough?
Is it really a fixed event?
That thought has me clenching my teeth in frustration, and both Rinny and I respond in same Hell no.
If Sakumo is still alive when I reach the compound, I'm going to save him. I'm going to make him survive.
There will no fucking fixed event bullshit if I can help it, dang it!
The sky roars while we run, thunders blaze indicating the incoming of a huge rain. Kakashi doesn't speak the entire run back to his compound, focusing simply on running and dragging me. I myself don't have anything to say in a situation like this, nor is it the right time to strike a friendly conversation anyway. What matters right now is not talking, but to reach the compound in time.
If five minutes is what it takes for a civilian to go to the Hatake Compound from my apartment, it takes us a minute tops, but with our current speed, I can only hope it's way earlier than that. Luckily, the street is nearly empty around this hour, so it certainly helps with our run.
Soon enough, we see the compound's front doors which are decorated with the Hatake Clan insignia.
We increases our speed and finds Pakkun waiting for us near the front doors.
"Kakashi!" Pakkun exclaims, and for he is still a pup, his voice is not as deep as it will be during canon timeline, "Sakumo just lost his consciousness, quick!"
Shit!
Kakashi rushes inside, still dragging me along with him, and the sight that welcomes me is of an unconscious Sakumo lying on his back surrounded by whining puppies. Puppies who back away instantly the very moment Kakashi and I step into the room.
I quickly rush over, cursing at his bleeding stomach. And if the blood dripping down his chin is any indication, he's coughed up blood, as well.
I hastily rip his shirt off, and uses it as a makeshift pillow for his head. I have to make sure he doesn't choke on his own blood...
Done positioning the White Fang, I quickly flash through the seals for Mystical Palm Jutsu as soon as I cleaned my hand. My hands flicker to green and I quickly set out to work. It's deep, I can't help but notice. I've never treated wounds this deep before. I've never...
"Kakashi!" I exclaim to the boy who is busy hovering over us anxiously just mere moments ago, making him jolt in surprise, "you have to go to the hospital and get help. I can't do this alone, I'm not that experienced yet!" The green flickers to blue in reaction to my anxiousness and loss of focus, and I curse. "Get Kishimoto-sensei from the hospital, he knows me and he will definitely help! If you can't find him, find Oro-cha- I mean, Orochimaru-sama! He knows me, he may know where Kishimoto-sensei is!" I grit my teeth as I try to focus on the task at hand, and after some few tense seconds, the blue finally turns back to green.
Rinny takes note on how Kakashi is still rooted on the spot, and I have to growl out. "What are you doing?! Hurry!"
"R-Right!" Just like that, Kakashi rushes back out of the compound, leaving me to deal with a bleeding out Hatake Sakumo.
Dammit, dammit, dammit.
I've never treated a wound this deep before, and I can't help but to worry incessantly over Sakumo's safety because I like him, dammit, I like him so much and I can't bear losing another person. Not now, not this soon, please, please, please-
In the back of my mind, a fear that I can't do this, I can't save him rings through and makes me feel cold.
This is probably why in my world Back Then, doctors aren't allowed to treat family members. They get too nervous, too unfocused, too distracted to do their actual job.
Here, though? Your family members, your teammates, your beloved cat, and even yourself, as long as you are qualified to heal, unless you want them to die, then go fucking heal them.
Medics here receive training to control their emotions so they can bulldoze and survive through this kind of scenario, and while Kishimoto-sensei has helped me tremendously with maintaining focus against external disturbances, he hasn't taught me to control emotions against anxiousness and worry going haywire.
I, as I have mentioned to Kakashi, am not experienced just yet. I am not in Kishimoto-sensei's caliber just yet no matter what he says about my natural genius medic talent or whatever, nor am I the kind of medic Senju Tsunade will approve to allow me to set my little feet in the battleground.. yet.
I still need to learn.
But do I have the chance to learn more now? Of course not. Right now is emergency. And even if I am afraid, I have to do it. Kakashi has gone to reach Kishimoto-sensei, and all I have to do is make sure Sakumo is stable enough until Kishimoto-sensei arrives.
"Come on, come on," I whisper, biting my lip when the chakra surrounding my hands turn into blue, again. Fuck it all. "Goddammit, come on!"
Don't worry. Rinny's voice is like a nice shower of water during a particularly hot day during summer, and I can feel Rinny taking my anxiety to herself. I'll help you, I'll keep your emotions in check. Just focus. Remember Kishimoto-sensei's lessons about anatomy, and Orochimaru-sama's rants. Fix the tissues, first. Go on...
That's right.
I remember the lessons. I remember Oro-chan-san's rants.
All I have to do is apply them accordingly.
That's my partner. You can do it. We can do it.
My mouth lifts up in a small smile as my hands are enveloped in green once again.
Thank you, partner
I do not know how long I stay there, fixing the wound as much as I can (why the fuck is it so deep? I asked one time to myself, but then thought, well, he wanted to die, so of course it's deep) before Kishimoto-sensei arrives. By then, the rain has started and lightning seems to be having so much fun out there, for it seems to strike the earth for every five seconds.
Kishimoto-sensei is wearing his white medic garbs, kneeling down next to Sakumo as he wordlessly performs the Mystical Palm Jutsu. His hands reach out to touch the spot my hands are still resting on, and even though I am startled at his abrupt arrival for being too focused on keeping myself focused in healing Sakumo, I let my hands move away from the wound so he can take over. Kishimoto-sensei's eyebrows seem to furrow for a little bit, before his lips twitch in a small smile.
"Halfway done. Good job, Rin-chan. I can handle this by myself, now. Go clean your hands."
The relieved sigh I've let out is in no way rehearsed. I didn't fuck up, thank God.
I look down on my hands, only now noticing on how they're soaked with blood. Sakumo's blood. The sleeves of my purple pajamas seem to be dirtied by it, as well, and I can't help but cringe. Cleaning blood off of civilian clothes will be a bitch, considering they don't have the same materials as the ones specially made for shinobi. Cleaning blood off of clothes is not a hard thing because I was a woman Back Then as well and bloody clothes happened occasionally, but still.
And here I was hoping I won't have to clean blood off of clothes until I get my second first menstruation.
Lips pressed into a thin line, I stand up to let Kishimoto-sensei focus on his work and my gaze sweeps to the side where a drenched Kakashi is standing, his eyes solely focused on his father.
I walk toward him and nudge him with my shoulder, and his startled jump is an enough hint that he's not exactly there, or at least, his focus is not entirely on all of his surroundings. Understandable, considering what is happening right now.
"Don't worry," I whisper to him, "Kishimoto-sensei is a great medic. If there's anyone in the village who can save Sakumo-san, it's him."
"..." His worried gaze finally flickers away from Sakumo's form, and instead focuses on me. He seems to see the sincerity and absolute trust I place in Kishimoto-sensei, for he nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. I nod back at him before I retreat to the bathroom to wash my hands. There is a medic jutsu to clean my hands off of blood and germs, but when you have water supply nearby, why would you do that?
When I come back to Kakashi, I notice that his gaze is focused on Kishimoto-sensei and Sakumo, and that his hands are shaking.
...Oh.
I feel like slapping my own face right now. Of course Kakashi is shaken; this is his father for God's sake! I was too occupied to save Sakumo that I didn't bother to give him any resemblance of comfort, when obviously he's hurting as well. What kind of a friend am I?
I step closer to him, and my hand reaches toward Kakashi's own, giving it a gentle squeeze. The Hatake tenses, if only barely, looking at me in apprehension.
"It'll be okay," I whisper to him. "I promise."
He squeezes my hand back as an answer.
It'll be okay.
Kishimoto-sensei takes Sakumo to the hospital, and admits him to a private room. Some people who are not busy with their own business are glaring at Sakumo and Kakashi as they walk by, and I do my best to glare at them while keeping up with Kishimoto-sensei's long strides.
Kakashi is adamant on not leaving his father behind, and only when Kishimoto-sensei promises that he'll get proper treatment and security seals Kakashi agrees to go home.
I can see the reasoning behind it, really. The people of Konoha (most of them, anyway) hates Sakumo like the idiots they really are, and therefore it is understandable if Kakashi is wary. But Sakumo needs treatment and monitoring, and thus hospital is the best place he should be in right now. Kishimoto-sensei's assurances are good enough for now, and it's a plus that Kishimoto-sensei knows both Sakumo and I on a rather personal level. I trust him, and I tell Kakashi as much.
Kakashi gazes in contemplation at Kishimoto-sensei for a short moment before he nods in acceptance.
Soon enough, when Sakumo is settled and sedated (to prevent any more suicide attempts, Kishimoto-sensei reasons), we bid our goodbyes and offer our thanks to Kishimoto-sensei, who smiles easily and ruffles both of our hairs, much to Kakashi's ire.
Only when I walk back home with Kakashi, each of us holding an umbrella loaned by the hospital, that I realize a small problem.
"Kakashi... Do you want to go back to the compound?"
Kakashi stops dead in his tracks, and he glances at me with incomprehension before realization dawns into him and he pales.
His compound isn't cleaned yet. The floor is still stained with Sakumo's blood and with the Hatake's high sense of smell, the smell of blood must be everywhere. If I am Kakashi, I won't want to sleep there, no matter what. It will simply give me unpleasant memories and thoughts, and I won't be able to rest (not that I think Kakashi can rest properly anyway, not after tonight. But anywhere is better than that compound with its floor caked with blood).
"You can sleep over in my apartment tonight," I tell him, nodding to myself. It is a good plan. My apartment is big, and I have spare futons. Actually, even Sakumo and Kakashi both can sleep there and the apartment still won't be that packed. It's that big. I wonder if my parents ever plan of having multiple children or something.
...Okay, the sudden thought about them makes me sad.
Sad thoughts, go away!
I stare at Kakashi to gouge his reaction. Kakashi hesitates, and he looks like he's ready to refuse. I have to withhold a sigh. It's obvious he's uncomfortable with going back to the compound, but something is holding him back from saying so. Is it pride? Or is he just that uncomfortable around me? We did just make up recently, after all. However my opinion still stands that there is no way Kakashi wants to go back to the compound. Not tonight, at the very least.
"I insist," I add as soon as his mask moves in an indication that he's about to speak. Kakashi still looks hesitant, the brat.
"I can... I can sleep over at Minato-sensei's place. It's not the first time."
"And bother his sleep?" I raise an eyebrow, and I know Kakashi knows he's lost this argument. But that doesn't stop him from trying to scowl, and I can't help but to roll my eyes rather playfully and smacks his shoulder.
"Come on. My apartment is big and I have spare futons. It's not like my parents are there to refuse your entry anyway," it hurts to mention so casually that they're, you know, dead, but it is time for me to let the pain go and move the fuck on. "Do you want to go back to get some clothes first or are you going to do that in the morning?"
Kakashi mutters something unintelligible, before he speaks clearly. "...Let's grab some clothes first."
"Aye, aye, sir."
The short trip to Kakashi's compound is... short. He literally speed walks through the room, eyes pointedly away from the bloodied floor and the tanto lying innocently on it. He barges into his room and comes out not even a minute later, a bag in his hold obviously holding some clothes.
"Come on," he mutters, and I don't mention to him that it is very clear that he's running away from that blood and that damned tanto, a remembrance on what exactly Sakumo had done.
We arrive in my apartment around two minutes later, and when I slip my feet out of the slippers, only then I notice that my bunny slippers are dirty, their fluffy fluff round heads are caked with mud and dirt, and I have to restrain an automatic sob, though a whine do come out.
"My bunny slippers..."
Kakashi looks down just as his feet slip into my extra set of slippers, this time in the form of fluffy pandas. He takes one look at the dirty bunnies and winces. "...Sorry," he says quietly, seemingly realizing that their poor condition is because I was forced to run in it with chakra in the middle of the rain.
I shrug in response, "It's okay. I have some more. Washing them will be a hassle, though." I take out another extra set of slippers, in the form of fluffy white kitten heads and Kakashi doesn't attempt to stop himself from making a face. A very judging one, that is. With the scrunching nose, furrowed eyebrows and everything.
"Why do you have all of these ridiculous slippers?"
"They're cute, okay? None of them are ridiculous. Especially the bunnies and the pandas."
Kakashi looks down on his slippers, the little pandas smiling up at him. He lifts one of his leg for a better view for a moment before he shrugs, his gaze deadpan. Clearly, he doesn't see the appeal from such cute little panda slippers. His fashion sense is horrible, after all. I mean, look at that green abomination he calls as a scarf! Though he doesn't wear it anymore outside of day offs, so I guess it's getting better.
"I thought you would've had a hedgehog one," Kakashi says, then, while waiting for me to guide him inside the apartment.
"You know, that isn't a bad idea." I say, grinning, walking toward the living room with Kakashi close behind me. "I don't know how they'll make the spikes though."
"You can just use senbon," he suggests, and I have to wonder if he's joking with a straight face, while sitting on the couch once I tell him to, looking around the apartment in some kind of wonder and curiosity. Huh.. Right. All these times, it had always been me who visited Kakashi's house, not the other way around. And, well, you won't realize it if you don't think about it, but Kakashi is a pretty polite person, and he clearly has meticulous manners. Only, he's usually not polite when he chats with me, because he's a little shit that way. Still, when he talks to the elders or his superiors, he's... polite. Though that doesn't stop his sass. I think nothing can ever stop his sass from pouring out in waves.
Anyway, even though it's just me and my apartment, he's still polite like any guest should be. I can only hope he'll get used to this apartment soon and get comfortable in it. Maybe I should invite him over some more in the future... Hm. That is a thought.
Lips quirking up in a crooked grin, I respond to his suggestion.
"And acupuncture my feet? Kakashi~" I sing song. "I know you're a sadist sometimes but this takes the cake!"
He scowls at me through his mask, not saying anything more as I giggle. I think he was joking, or maybe it was just him insulting me again. Who knows? With Kakashi, there's always something else. Underneath the underneath, remember?
"The bathroom's over there, Kakashi," I point to a room, "I'll be taking my own shower in my room."
When all is said and done, with both of us cleaned from dirt, mud, rain and Sakumo's blood, both of us clad in clean pajamas (and he's still wearing the mask, is he going to sleep while wearing the mask?), it is finally time for sleep.
"Wait here, I'll take the futons!"
Kakashi grunts, and I hurry to my parents room to take out two large futons. They are large, but they're fluffy, and I'm pretty sure Kakashi can get comfortable in it. I dump the futon to the floor near the couch and hurry back up to take two pillows, Pupuruhi and Mr. Carrot, my two beloved plush toys. One for me, and another for Kakashi to strangle in his sleep.
When I return back to the living room, Kakashi has set up the two futon next to each other and is staring at the futon strangely. I frown a bit, raising an eyebrow at him as his gaze sweeps to me, confusion in his own gaze.
"What's wrong? Is it too small? Is it smelly? ...Fleas?" I ask hesitantly, and blink in surprise when instead, he comments on how he can use one futon just fine.
I can't help it, I laugh a bit.
"Bakashi, the other one is for me!" I tell him cheerfully.
"...What?" Kakashi stares dumbly at me, and I roll my eyes.
"Silly Kakashi, do you really think that I will let you sleep in the living room alone? You're my guest, I'm sleeping with you."
Red creeps to Kakashi's cheeks, slightly visible at the edge of his mask, and I have to wonder if he's a pervert this early. Surely, my 'sleeping with him' suggestion doesn't make him think of anything dirty?
...Nah.
He's probably just embarrassed. Kakashi does get adorably flustered when it comes to random act of kindness, after all. Whether it's done by someone else for him or he's the one who does so. Inside, Rinny agrees with me. There is no way Kakashi is a pervert this young... He hasn't even gotten The Talk just yet, I'm sure. (Still waiting patiently for that time, by the way, I have so many things to say and possibly mentally scar my boys forever).
...I can't wait until Icha Icha gets published.
...Are we going to read it? Rinny asks, and I can sense the bubbling curiosity and hidden excitement there. My lips quirk up in an excited smile, and I know Rinny is grinning as well.
Hell yeah we are.
Back to the reality, I've dropped Pupuruhi to the futon I've chosen to be mine for the night, the white tiger plush toy lying innocently on the futon while I choose to throw Mr. Carrot at Kakashi, who catches it expertly. The silver haired boy, bewildered beyond any points imaginable, stares at the orange big carrot, very fluffy and cute in my opinion, which smiles at him with its fake eyes and lips. Its small arms and legs are limp as Kakashi hasn't dropped it from his grip on its orange body, and I almost wonder on how long he's going to stare at Mr. Carrot when he opens his mouth to speak.
"...What."
It's amazing how it's so flat it doesn't even sound like a question.
"It's Mr. Carrot!" I chirp, because I can. Kakashi's eyebrows seem to go so high up his forehead they may fly off somewhere to outer space, and his mask moves in an indication of a jaw drop.
"What."
"I said, it's Mr. Carrot," I roll my eyes playfully, flopping down on my futon and snuggle with Pupuruhi. "This white tiger here is Pupu, or well, Pupuruhi if you wanna know her full name. Seeing as Pupuruhi will become grouchy if I give her to somebody else-"
"That's a plush toy, it doesn't get grouchy-"
"So I'm giving you Mr. Carrot to snuggle during the night," I expertly ignore his interruption. Kakashi's gaze has gone from bewildered to deadpan in the matter of seconds the very moment I say the word 'snuggle', the silver haired boy eyeing the carrot as if it's going to go all Chucky or Annabelle on him during the night.
"You named your toys."
"...So? I was a kid. Still a kid, even. Hello, not even ten year old girl, over here."
"You named your toys."
"You know, it is during these times that I always wonder if you're really a kid or if you're just a person born with no imagination at all."
"What kind of name is Pupuruhi?"
"An amazing name, you ass," I bite out with no real heat, "don't you dare insult the great Pupu's name! Anyone should be delighted to be blessed with her name."
Kakashi rolls his eyes. "I won't name my ninken Pupu, not even a fish will be happy being named that."
"Says the one who named a bulldog as Bull," I sniff haughtily, and Kakashi scowls.
"Oi," he socks my shoulder, but there's humor in his eyes as he grouches out, "it's a fitting name."
I stick my tongue out at him childishly. "And so are Pupuruhi and Mr. Carrot, thank you very much!"
The Hatake sighs, "Whatever. I don't need this carrot." He shoves the plush toy at me, in which I shove it back at him as quick as I can.
"Nope," I chirp, "you're keeping it."
"What-"
"Nope."
"Rin-"
"Nope. Nope."
"Why you-"
"No."
"I said I don't nee-"
"Noooooo. Just keep it lying next to you while you sleep."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...A hug before bed?"
"...I hate you," Kakashi mutters, as his arms circle around my waist in a loose hug, a contradiction to my tight and very nice hug. As much as a nice cushion Kakashi is for a hug, he's not a great hugger. At least I know I triumph over him in terms of hugging skills. Though Obito beats me in that very aspect, and Gai is close to second with his painful bear hugs and tackle hugs. Still, hugs are nice. Hugs are good. Both of us need hugs right now, and Kakashi is so warm. Probably because of the hot shower.
I giggle at his disgruntled muter, "Aw. I love you too, Kakashi!"
"Ugh."
"..."
"...The carro-"
"No."
A sigh. "Rin..."
"Snuggling is to make a happy soul."
"That doesn't even-"
"Shhhh. Just hug Mr. Carrot and let your stress fly away."
He rolls his eyes as he mutters, "hugs reduce stress, yeah, yeah, whatever." He looks like he's debating whether he must shove the pointy end of Mr. Carrot to my mouth or not. "I don't want to... snuggle... this... carrot."
"Oh. Well... Unless you want to snuggle with me instea-"
"Night," Kakashi's respond is quick and immediate as he rushes under the covers taking Mr. Carrot with him, though I catch sight of red on his ear and I have to stifle my laughter. Rinny has no qualms with giggling inside of the Mind Palace, though, lucky her.
He's so tsundere it's cute sometimes.
I stare at the lump beside my futon, his entire body covered with white blanket, a small smile sporting on my lips before I settle to sleep for the night.
"Night, Bakashi."
"...Hn."
"Keep an eye on that one."
"Already done so."
"Good."
"...About the girl-"
"If the girl continues to grow," the other's words are cut off abruptly, "you know what to do."
"..."
"You know what to do, don't you?"
"Yes. I do."
"Good. Now go."
"..."
I wake up to the scene of Kakashi's sleeping face. During the night, the boy seems to have kicked the covers off of him and he, as a matter of fact, is currently hugging Mr. Carrot. I have to stifle my snort at seeing such scene. Not because Mr. Carrot is being hugged by a sleeping Kakashi (because that is a scene worth both squeal and laugh worthy), but mainly because he looks so peaceful while sleeping and it'll be a crime to disrupt his sleep.
...And he's not wearing his mask, clearly he took it off sometime during the night, and that mole on his face is a heavy reminder of Jounin Kakashi taking off his Sukea disguise and being shirtless and taking a shower and gOD THOSE MUSCLES-
Erm.
I think I may have daydreamed a little bit over there.
Though this Kakashi in front of me is coo worthy, mostly because of that baby face and peaceful look, considering that I do not have this sudden urge to hug or kiss him or feel like my chest is gonna burst (other than that short squeee when I imagined Adult Kakashi, but this Kakashi and that Kakashi is different, at least in terms of physical aesthetics, thanks), it is safe to say I'm not a pedophile.
Friendly reminder you're a kid, as well.
God, I can't help it. I am so used to being twenty. The only ones I find hot these days are only Sakumo, Minato, Oro-chan-san, and Daichi-san in the hospital.
...Orochimaru-sama? You find Orochimaru-sama as hot?
Well I-
No, no, no, you know what? Don't answer that. Nope. Talk about Daichi-san instead. You like him?
He's nice and funny. His smile is so pretty and he's got a nice ass! This is my twenty year old woman hormones talking, okay?!
...Right. You're a kid, now, though. We are kids. I don't think it's pedophilia if you like the people around our age. Besides, the ones we know will grow into the ones we know from canon.
Well, yeah, if the future doesn't fuck up because of our doings.
Point is?
It's not pedophilia if I like people my age, yeah, thanks Rinny.
So?
...So?
What about Obito's-
Nope. Nope. You're a demon, Rinny. A literal demon, I tell you. Do you think that by a simple speech like that I will immediately know on what to do with Obito's feelings?!
Well, it's worth a try.
...I hate you.
No, you don't.
No, I don't. I amend, But still, I'm just... gonna keep quite for awhile. At least... At least until he confesses or something. I'm certainly not going to accept or pursue any relationship until I'm, like, a sixteen year old Nohara Rin with raging hormones.
Rinny seems like she's stifling a laughter, or is it a sob? I perk up in sudden worry, but Rinny is quick to wave me off.
I'm fine, I'm fine. Anyway, let's make breakfast!
Around ten o'clock in the morning, Kakashi and I set out to visit Sakumo in the hospital.
Both of us don't expect much, and therefore it is surprising that when Kishimoto-sensei takes care of the seal and opens the door for us, we see that Sakumo is very wide awake and sitting calmly on the bed.
In fact, Kakashi literally freezes in his tracks as if he's hit an invisible wall on his way.
Sakumo's gaze has found our wide eyed ones, and he manages a whisper that sounds so loud thanks to the silence in the room, Kishimoto-sensei having gotten out of the room to take care of his other patients.
"Kakashi," Sakumo breathes out and that seems to break Kakashi out of his stupor as Kakashi bolts toward his father, jumping at him in clear desperation and I am so close to shouting at him to be careful, that idiot, but Sakumo's arms catches his son expertly as if it's nothing, and Kakashi fits so easily in Sakumo's embrace and Kakashi lets out a choked sob and- and-
I mustn't be here.
This is their private moment, I must not be here, intruding them.
Before I can hear anything else, I step out of the room and closes the door.
"Nohara," Orochimaru's voice is what notifies me of his approach (I really need to train my chakra sensing ability, god dammit-) and I look up to see him in the usual hospital white garbs, blinking down at me. "What are you doing here."
Really, what is it with people in this world and their questions not sounding like questions?
"Oro-chan-san," I smile at him, and I wonder if he twitches because of the nickname or the smile, though I bulldoze on with fluttering eyelashes, "it is good to see you too."
The Snake Sannin rolls his eyes at my obvious jab at his pleasantries. Not that he cares about it much. He is Orochimaru after all. "I take it Kishimoto abandons you in the middle of your training again."
"Ah, no," I smile sheepishly, standing up because speaking to someone who is standing while you're sitting is, well, impolite. At least when you're not their superior. If you're the Hokage, you can sit all day until your butt hurts all you want. "I have no training today. I'm visiting someone."
"Is that so."
"Yep!" I chirp, "Sakumo-san's busy talking to Kakashi, though," or so I hope anyway, "so I'm giving them privacy."
His eyes find the bold name written under the room number, Hatake Sakumo, and lets out a hum. "The rumors are true, then."
"...There are more rumors about Sakumo-san?"
The Sannin snorts, "Konoha gossips about everything. I'd be surprised if the rumor mill doesn't find itself a new victim by the time the day ends."
"Including about how your hair is definitely Worth It?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Nothing, nothing," I wave him off with a grin as Orochimaru shoots a suspicious glare at me that could have killed a man if glares are lethal. "The rumors about Sakumo-san, are they bad?"
"If you consider a failed suicide attempt as bad," Orochimaru mutters, and raises an eyebrow at my grimace. "It is true, then."
I nod. "It was... messy."
"You found him, I take it?"
"No, it was Kakashi, I got there to fix him up."
It may be my imagination, but Orochimaru's eyes seem to flicker in intrigue, surprise and approval.
"Mastery of A-rank jutsu during a real life situation. ...Impressive."
"Um. No...? I mean, Kishimoto-sensei came by half way and took over, so..."
Orochimaru hums in a non-committal way, gaze flickering to the name once again before he seems to shrug mentally-because of course he's too cool to do that in real life, isn't he-and proceeds to continue to go to wherever he's going before he spotted me without any goodbyes, the rude ass man.
Still, I let it slide, because it's Orochimaru, and instead chooses to wave at his retreating back. "See you later, Oro-chan-san!"
Orochimaru only grunts in reply.
"I thought you were dead," Kakashi's grip on his father's hospital gown is tight, his hands trembling as his breath hitches, choking out words after words. "I thought- you were leaving me- you were going to leave me-why? How could you?"
"I'm sorry," his father breathes out, warm hands circled around him. Warm and alive and Kakashi thinks he can't be happier but that will be a lie, a lie because he's not happy, he's not, not at all, because while his father is alive and warm and breathing and oh God he's alive, he was the one who did this to himself and Kakashi- Kakashi can't forgive that.
He can't.
So he releases his hug from his father and says straight to his face, "You're my dad, how could you do that to me?"
Sakumo flinches as if his face has been struck, and it may very well be so, for his son now truly looks at him as if he's the best and the very worst person on earth all at once, and the guilt is on him again, weighing his shoulders and entire body and spirit and why can't he die properly for once-
"Dad," Kakashi's voice brings him back to reality, and it breaks him to see that his son himself is crumbling right in front of him. "Why? Am I not enough? I tried so hard- I wanted to- I- You can't leave me. You can't." And Kakashi is shaking his shoulders, gripping on his gown tightly he fears it may rip apart.
"Kakashi-"
"If you're gone," Kakashi keeps on speaking, and his next words remind Sakumo of what he's thought of that night in the compound, the split second regret in his chest as he choked on his own blood, the grief he felt when he saw his own son staring at him killing himself, "who am I going to come home to?"
I don't really want to die, the regret said to him as he choked out Kakashi's name, blood spurting out from his mouth.
"If- If you're gone," Kakashi says as Sakumo's own lips start to tremble, "I'm not going to have anyone and I-"
I want to be with him more longer, the grief said to him as Kakashi summoned his pups that night, sprinting out of the compound to look for help. I want to see him grow up.
"Please don't leave me."
The dam breaks, and Sakumo truly cries that day. Not the self pitying cries he did in the compound, not the cries for his comrades who turned their backs on him, not the cries for the breaking friendship between Kakashi and Rin, not the cries of self hatred and blame for the time when Rin's parents died in a war he caused.
This time, it is for Kakashi, for what kind of pain must he have inflicted upon his own son that Kakashi feels it necessary to plead, to beg him not to leave him behind? Not to die on him and leave his six year old lonesome to bury this pathetic fallen hero to the ground?
It is some time later in the future when Sakumo has healed and well in both mind and body, when realizes that he's a selfish, selfish man for wanting to die, for justifying that the attempted suicide is an act he did for Kakashi's sake so his records may not be tainted with such thing as a fallen hero, and while it may be so, it is also partially because he's a coward against his own demons, and it will take a beating both verbally and physically from someone else for him to realize such thing.
Alas, at the very moment, Sakumo doesn't think that way, but still he cries for Kakashi, anyway. And while some parts of him still whisper at him on how easy it will be to die, how he can arrange it some time later so Kakashi won't find him while he's in the middle of it, how he can succeed this time around- Kakashi's body is so small and warm against him, his son's desperation rolling out in waves and Sakumo-
Sakumo decides.
As long as Kakashi doesn't want him to leave...
He'll stay.
He'll try his very best to stay.
There are lots of things Hatake Sakumo and Hatake Kakashi talk about that day, in the hospital room.
Apologies are thrown in the picture, an explanation is presented, and Kakashi understands.
From the forty-seven minutes of privacy, a single choice is made, and Sakumo cannot bring himself to disagree even as his heart aches and his smile seems to slip a little bit from its previous sincerity.
"If what you did only brought you shame, I'm not going to do it."
Sakumo exhales and accepts, despite the fact that his heart is screaming at him that this is wrong, wrong, wrong-
"It's your choice, Kakashi," he rasps, sounding very tired, "But, Kakashi... I'm sure... there will be some of your friends who make choices different from yours."
Kakashi can think of six people who will do exactly that, actually.
Six people he knows well enough.
Five people he begrudgingly calls as his... friends, no matter if he won't say it aloud, and one person he acknowledges as his best friend, even if he won't say it aloud either.
"...Whatever they want to do, that's not my business." He says, and there's that.
("My dream... is to be strong and protect people I love..")
Her voice reverberates in his head, and Kakashi has to swallow down an apology toward his best friend, the strange guilt in his chest telling him he's betrayed something she believes as something important-
("Konoha prides itself on protecting comrades, Kakashi!")
No. They might, before. But not now. Not now when his father is disgraced for doing so, when he's shamed for doing exactly that-
("We rely on teamwork, on not leaving comrades behind, on protecting your precious people and fighting for them.")
No.
Things change.
People change.
Konoha changes, as well.
He thinks that perhaps, it's better if he changes his ideals, as well.
("If what you did only brought you shame, I'm not going to do it."
"It's your choice, Kakashi.")
It is.
It is his choice.
And Rin can have her own choice for all he cares. As a matter of fact, he doesn't care.
He doesn't.
Liar, his mind whispers to him as he walks out of the room and is greeted with her blinding smile.
Liar, it insists as she talks for a short while with his father.
Liar, it hisses at him as he once again sleeps over at her place until his father can be discharged tomorrow, as she cooks lunch and dinner with him, chatting with each other and throwing the usual friendly insults at each other.
Liar, it says as she gives him the carrot once again and wishes him a goodnight.
Shut up, he bites back.
He doesn't care.
(Not really, his mind adds).
Shimura Residence
11 PM
Name: Nohara Rin
Ninja registration number: 009721
Rank: Genin
Jounin Sensei: Uchiha Mikoto
A/N: Apprenticed under Kishimoto Masashi. Suspected to be under Orochimaru's tutelage.
Family member(s):
Nohara Takeshi (deceased)
Nohara Rei (deceased)
Blood Type: A
Status: Subject expresses absolute loyalty toward Konoha. Subject is not a liability or a danger toward Konoha.
Other notes: Upon further investigation, subject seems to be hungry of knowledge and is rumored to be a genius alongside Hatake Kakashi, whom subject is close to.
Subject spends a generous amount of time in the Uchiha Compound.
Subject shows great aptitude in chakra control.
Subject is...
Subject shows...
Subject is...
"Hm." Shimura Danzo hums, his fingers drumming against the paper containing the weekly five pages long report he's gotten from his subordinate.
A genius, conveniently an orphan, who attaches herself to few important figures in the village.
A genius who is hungry for knowledge.
"Good."
What an easy prey.
(Konoha General Hospital, 1 AM)
Any patients on suicide watch are subject to sedation every night, and Hatake Sakumo cannot escape that rule, no matter if he is seemingly repentant over his attempt. That is good, the figure thinks as they creep closer to the bed, for that means Sakumo can't realize that they're here.
The figure looks down at the still, sleeping form of Hatake Sakumo and thinks.
Hatake Sakumo is supposed to be dead.
Hatake Sakumo has to die.
If he's alive, then it is not a good factor for the plan. Hatake Sakumo is not a good variable to add up with the genin they've set their eyes onto.
Later, they can't help but think, that if the plan fails and she doesn't obey, Nohara Rin has to die as well.
It doesn't matter. What matters now is Hatake Sakumo, isn't it? They remind themselves.
Their hand reaches out toward the sleeping form of the White Fang, making sure not to leak any killing intent lest anyone finds out what they're doing.
It's going to be a quick death, they think, and it'll be easy for them to make it like someo-
"And what," a dry voice interrupts their thoughts, and the figure tenses, "do you think you're doing?"
The figure turns around-
and finds himself face to face with Orochimaru.
Oh look, I updated! And does this ending count as a cliffhanger? Hm, I think not. I want to thank you all for your patience in waiting for this chapter and your kind reviews and gosh, I am sorry for this half assed writing. Finals is upon me, guys, and my moods don't help me in writing this chapter.
I hope you can forgive me and still enjoyed this chapter.
Sooooo! Rinny is a nagging grandma when it comes to love life, Rin thinks Orochimaru is hot, I hope you're not hoping I will make a cameo for Nice Ass Daichi, Sakumo lives, Kakashi decides to be a dick, Kakashi secretly likes Mr. Carrot, Danzo is being creepy, a ROOT member is stalking an eight year old girl and made five pages long report about it like the nerd that ROOT member secretly is, there's the typical Detective Conan mysterious figure approaching sleeping Sakumo, Orochimaru may or may not be a Disney Prince who is there to save the day, and Rin is oblivious. That's basically this whole chapter.
If you've noticed, Rin's registration number is different from canon.
Why? Because she graduates early.
Therefore I placed her right after Kakashi's own registration number.
Meep. Thank you for reading this chapter! Again, I'm sorry if you think the quality is bad, this is really what I can dish out. Let's hope the next chapter will be better!
Ramen for your thoughts?
PREVIEW:
"Minato-sensei, you're so lame."
Next chapter: Teamwork
