Chapter Twelve

The drive to Brittany's house was quiet. Natalia must have sensed that I didn't want to talk and was silently amusing herself in the backseat. I was nervous about talking to Brittany and the feelings that it would stir up. Did I really want to give her a second chance? Would giving her the chance to explain make her think that I was willing to take her back?

I pulled up outside Brittany's house and took a deep breath. It will be fine, it will be fine.

'Okay, mija, we're here,' I smiled at Natalia as I noticed she was already taking her seatbelt off.

'Are you coming in with me, mama?' Talia asked me as she saw me getting out of the car as well.

'I need to speak to your mommy, baby,' I told her as I locked the car and took her hand and led her to the front door.

'What about?' she asked me nosily as she rang the bell.

'Grown up stuff,' I laughed as she groaned beside me.

'Hey,' Brittany said quietly as she opened the door to look at me. 'What're you doing here?'

'Mommy!' Natalia cried as she jumped into Brittany's arms.

'Hey, baby,' Brittany smiled as she hugged Natalia. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too,' Natalia told her as she pulled away from the hug. 'Mama says she needs to speak to you.'

'Okay, come in Santana,' Brittany said quietly as she moved away from the door so I could walk into the hallway. 'Talia, why don't you go play in your room while me and your mama talk?'

'Fine,' Natalia huffed as she stomped up the stairs, causing me and Brittany to laugh.

'Is the living room okay?' Brittany asked me once we heard Natalia's bedroom door shut.

'That's fine,' I told her as I followed her down the hall.

'If this is about what happened on Saturday, I want to apologise,' Brittany began once we'd both sat down. 'What I did was completely out of the blue and I don't blame you for running away.'

'It's fine, it just shocked me,' I told her honestly. I paused before I continued. 'What you said, Brittany, did you mean it? That you love me?'

'Yes,' Brittany told me bluntly. I was shocked by her honesty. 'I know that I've taken a long time to say it but I love you, Santana. I don't want to get divorced, I want to get back together.'

'Okay...' I replied slowly as I took in what she just said.

'And I know that you'll have doubts because of what I did last time, which I completely understand,' Brittany began as she looked me straight in the eyes without any signs of fear whatsoever. 'I'm not asking you to forgot, but I' asking you to forgive me so that we can move on together and be a family again.'

'What about Brett?' I asked her dumbly. It wasn't supposed to go like this. I was supposed to be in charge and instead I was looking at Brittany gormlessly while my mouth opened and closed like a fish.

'I broke up with him on Sunday,' Brittany replied quickly. 'I told him that it wasn't fair for me to be with him and lead him on when I still had feelings for him.'

'Wow...' I still had no idea what to say.

'I'm not expecting us to jump right back into a relationship, I know we'll have to take it slow but I want to try,' Brittany looked at me expectantly. 'Santana, do you have anything you want to say?'

'I'm not sure,' I told her honestly. 'I'm a bit surprised. You left me, Britt.'

'I know, and I regret it every day,' Brittany told me, still confident as ever. 'I've always regretted it but being with Brett reinforced it to me. I want to be with you and no one else. Seeing you and Quinn together at the party made me remember how much fun the three of us used to have together. Leaving you was the dumbest thing I've ever done and I want to fix it and I won't stop trying until you let me.'

'I'm going to have to think about it, Britt,' I sighed as I looked at her. 'It's a lot to take in.'

'That's fine, I'll wait until you're ready,' Brittany told me firmly. 'But for now can we at least be friends? I miss not talking to you.'

'Sure,' I smiled meekly at her. 'Friends.'

What the fuck?!


'You should have said more,' Quinn chastised me as we sat in front of the TV in her house.

'You shouldn't have gone over at all,' Puck snorted as he shoved more chips into his mouth.

'And why not, Noah?' Quinn eyed him eating the chips with disgust. 'You're such an animal.'

'Leave me alone, woman,' he snapped back as he turned round on the sofa to look at us. 'She shouldn't have gone round because Brittany doesn't deserve a second chance. She had one and she blew it. Big time.'

'Think of all the times we broke up and got back together. Should I not have given you a second chance?' Quinn narrowed her eyes at him.

'I never walked out on you while you had post natal depression, then tried to divorce you two years later, only to turn around and say that I still loved you,' Puck countered her. 'She's messing Santana around and I don't like it.'

'Think about how Santana messed her around in high school though,' Quinn added.

'Yeah, but that wasn't because she didn't love her. She was scared,' Puck argued back.

'Yes, and Brittany left because she was scared too,' Quinn sighed exasperatedly.

'You guys!' I shouted from my place on the opposite couch to shut them up. 'I came here to ask for your advice, not so that you could argue about it in front of me!'

'Sorry, San,' Quinn apologised as she looked over at me. 'What do you want to do?'

'I honestly don't know,' I sighed. 'I love her and I want to give Natalia a real home but I'm terrified in case it goes wrong again.'

'That's completely understandable, S, but you can't live your life not doing things because you're scared of the consequences. I mean, if you had always lived like that you would have never even came out,' Quinn told me softly.

'Yes, but she has a child now, Quinn,' Puck argued before turning to me. 'Anything you do, especially this, is going to affect Natalia. She's old enough now for you two breaking up to do real damage to her.'

'I know, that's why I'm apprehensive,' I told him. 'But if it works out, it'll be the best thing I've ever done for her.'

'Well, I think that you should give it a try,' Quinn told me. 'You could keep it between yourselves at first until you're at a point where you feel like it's going to work and then you can tell people. Don't agree to anything until you've thought it through first though.'

'Well, I think that you shouldn't,' Puck told me angrily. 'That bitch ruined you once and I don't want to see her do it again.'


'IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!'

'Yes, Rachel, we know!' Quinn shouted back at an over excited Rachel. The few drinks she'd had were obviously already having an effect on her.

Today was Rachel's birthday and all the girls were going out to a club to celebrate. Yes, all the girls. For the first time since Brittany and I had separated, one of our friends didn't have to do two separate events to celebrate. After Brittany had told Rachel that she was fine with me being there, Rachel had asked me the same thing. I couldn't say no, could I? That would make me the difficult one and Mercedes was only in town for a few days. That's why I was stood in Rachel's kitchen with Quinn, Mercedes, Kurt, Brittany and fucking Tina having pre-drinks.

'Leave her alone, Quinn, she's just excited,' Tina said not so jokingly as she glowered over at Quinn.

'I'll leave her alone, Tina as soon as you-' Quinn began angrily.

'Ladies!' Kurt interrupted quickly. 'It's Rachel's birthday, let's all be civil with each other for one night, please.'

'She started it,' Quinn mumbled as she moved to stand closer to me. 'Stupid bitch.'

'I heard that!' Tina shouted over from where she was sat at the kitchen table with Brittany.

'Good!' Quinn shouted back before she took a large gulp from her glass.

Much to Rachel and Kurt's disappointment, we'd split into camps. Quinn and I stood at the kitchen counter while Brittany and Tina sat at the table. Mercedes, Kurt and Rachel split their time in between us and tried desperately to get both groups to interact with each other.

'Why don't we play a game?' Mercedes suggested quickly before anything else could be said.

'Ooh, a game!' Rachel squealed excitedly as she turned her attention to Mercedes. 'A drinking game?'

'Of course, girl!' Mercedes replied. 'Quinn, Santana, come sit at the table and we'll start!'

I turned to look at Quinn and saw that she was as unimpressed as I was. The idea of 'bonding' with Tina Cohen Chang was not something that was high on either of our to-do list.

'Come on, you two,' Kurt sang as he ushered us to the table. 'Let's not make this anymore difficult than it needs to be.'

I sighed as I took my seat next to Rachel and Quinn sat beside me, Brittany and Tina across from me. By the looks on their faces, they didn't want to do this either.

'Isn't this nice? Okay, what about 'I have never'?' Rachel asked excitedly as she looked around us and saw all of our uncomfortable expressions. 'Okay, I'll begin. I have never... had sex in the auditorium at McKinley!'

'Oh, gross!' Kurt cried out as everyone took a drink except for him. 'You all got it on in the auditorium?!'

'It's exciting being on the stage,' Brittany shrugged as she took her glass away from her lips while shooting me a look which I returned.

'I skidded on my knees along those floors,' Kurt whined as Mercedes laughed and gave him a pat on the back.

'I have never...' Quinn began then pursed her lips while she paused. 'Had sex in Mr Shue's car.'

'God, Quinn!' Kurt squealed before he quickly drank from his glass. 'That was a secret!'

'There are no secrets in 'I have never',' Quinn told him jokingly.

'Mr Shue's car?' I snorted as Kurt looked back at me embarrassed.

'He left it in my dad's shop once,' Kurt mumbled as he avoided my gaze.

'Wanky,' I laughed as I took in his expression. 'Okay, I have never made out with Blaine.'

'What is this, the 'get Kurt drunk' game?' Kurt cried out as he drank again. 'Do not make yours about me, Brittany, please. I already feel drunk and we've not even gone out yet.'

'I won't,' Brittany laughed as she waited for Kurt to finish his drink. 'I have never been to Europe.'

'Great, one that's finally not about me that I wish was,' Kurt scowled as he watched a few of us drink.

'Quit moaning, Kurt,' Mercedes laughed. 'Tina, it's your turn.'

'I have never been married,' Tina said before we all drank. 'See, nice and easy for all of us.'

'My turn!' Mercedes smiled. 'I have never been suspended.'

'Only just, Wheezy!' I shouted as Quinn and I drank. 'You're lucky Mr Schue saved you after you put those tots in Coach Sylvester's car.'

'Very lucky, Mercedes, very lucky,' Rachel slurred as she poured herself another glass of wine.

'Okay, I have never slept with Puck!' Kurt laughed as he yelled out.

'Oh God,' Quinn groaned as she, Brittany and I drank. 'Nice one, Kurt.'

'Revenge, Fabray,' Kurt giggled as he looked at Quinn.

'My turn again!' Rachel cried out as she stuck her hand in the air. 'I have never accused the valet guy of changing my CDs!'

'Oh for fuck's sake, Rachel,' I groaned as I drank. 'Did we really have to bring that up?'

'It was hilarious, Santana,' Rachel laughed as Quinn chuckled quietly beside me.

'What happened?' Brittany asked me amused.

'Quinn, Rachel and I went to the mall a while ago and I left my car with the valet. When I got it back, the CD was different. It was incredibly unprofessional so I told him so,' I shrugged as I took another sip of my wine.

'In incredibly harsh Spanish!' Quinn told Brittany as she laughed out loud. 'You went insane!'

'He had no reason to be changing my CDs!' I argued back as everyone laughed.

'Typical, Santana,' Tina laughed. 'Losing your rag over pointless things.'

'What the h-' I began angrily.

'Okay, you're turn again Quinn,' Mercedes said quickly before I could continue.

'I have never...hmm,' Quinn tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked around us all before stopping when she got a mischievous glint in her eyes. This was going to be good. 'I have never made out with Mike.'

Damnnn...

Tina glared as Quinn, Brittany and I drank. I waited to see if Quinn would stop smirking at Tina to pick up on who wasn't drinking.

'Okay, Santana, you're turn,' Kurt sang nervously.

'Come on, Rachel, you're holding us up,' Quinn said cheerfully as she slapped Rachel's arm.

'What?' Tina gasped as she turned to face Rachel.

'Tina, it really was quite a long time ago and you two weren't together,' Rachel explained quickly as she shot Quinn a pleading look. Unfortunately, Quinn didn't look like she was going to help her as she leaned back in her chair.

'Why didn't you ever tell me?' Tina demanded as she looked at Rachel.

'I really didn't think it-' Rachel began.

'CABS ARE HERE!' Puck yelled as he and Finn came into the kitchen with a few empty bottles of beer.

'Thank God,' Rachel whispered as she quickly stood up. 'Let's go, girls!'

I shot Quinn a quick smirk as we all stood up to get our bags. Tina did not look happy.

'Rachel, Quinn and Santana go in one and Brittany, Mercedes, Tina and I will go in the other!' Kurt cried out over the top of us as he ran out the front door.

'Hey, Santana!' Brittany called out to me as I walked towards the hallway.

'Yeah, Britt?' I asked her as I turned around.

'Have you thought about it yet?' Brittany asked me quietly as everyone else walked round us looking curious.

'I need more time, Britt,' I told her honestly.

'That's fine,' she replied quietly. 'I'll be here when you're ready.'

I sighed as she walked round me to go to the driveway.

'Call me if you need me to come get you,' Puck told me firmly as he walked up beside me. 'No matter what time it is.'

'Thanks, Puck,' I told him gratefully.

'Hurry up, Santanananananana!' Quinn yelled out the cab window. I laughed as I ran out the door to get in beside her.

'Have a good night!' Puck yelled after me.

I intended to have a good night. However, at a club with Brittany and a group of 'friends' who hadn't all spoken to each other for a few years, I didn't know if it would be possible.