A/N: Due to ya'll being awesome, I've decided to post the very next chapter :) If you need a little song inspiration for this chapter, know that I wrote it listening to Love Me Harder - Ariana Grande (feat. the Weeknd) on repeat. Things are about to get serious! Let me know what you think.
I heard the soft click of the latch on the door and came back to my senses. I laid my hands on Filip's chest, shoving him backwards.
"That's not gonna work this time." I grumbled.
He rolled his eyes and I pushed past him to stand on the other side of the office, facing the door to the parking lot.
"There's nothin' goin' on with me or any of tha crow eaters. Will ya just believe me?" He pleaded.
I crossed my arms, "Fine! I believe ya but there's still 'Kerrianne'."
I didn't mean to blurt that out. I was jumping to conclusions and I knew it. I didn't know who Kerrianne was. I hadn't meant to bring up any of his old memories, but in the grand scheme of what we were doing, it was all wrong. He was still married, as far as I knew. I know he'd stopped wearing his ring, but I'd seen that picture. He was a husband and a father. I was just 'the other woman'.
He paused, his face falling blank. I began mumbling to myself. How stupid could I be? Why had I allowed myself to get caught up in any of this? Allowing myself to be the other woman? Ruining another woman's marriage!
"I… H-how…" He stuttered.
I avoided his face, my eyes flitting about the room. I tried to focus on anything that wasn't him. I was making this worse than it was. I should've just said it was over and walked away.
He ran a hand down his face, taking an extremely deep breath.
He sighed, "Aye, Kerrianne…."
My demeanor softened, "Its fine Filip. I saw the ring when ya first came ta town. I knew what I was gettin' into."
He breathed, knees bending and falling into the couch. His elbows rested on his knees. I could spot the cold silver rings through his dark hair and unconsciously took a step towards him.
"It's more complicated than tha'." He murmured.
"Don't." I whispered, "Ya don't have ta explain."
He glanced up, to find me standing directly in front of him.
His head shook, hair flying with the movement, "Yes I do. Ya need to know tha truth." He paused, collecting his thoughts. He let his hands hang between his legs, the fingers on his right hand circling his left hand ring finger, "I am married, but only technically. My wife, Fiona… Is the reason I have these chibs."
I bit my lip at the confession. Two things came to light for me, one I now understood why all the boys called him Chibs, and two, his former life was one that I hadn't the slightest clue about. I hadn't even begun to imagine what had happened to him and never had the audacity to ask him. How could his wife be the reason his face was mashed up?
He ran a hand through his hair, "Kerrianne is my little girl. A man, Jimmy O, decided he wanted what I had; my family. He took them away from me, convincing my wife that he'd do worse to me if she didn't follow his wishes. He's True IRA, and she's sixth generation IRA. On top of everythin' she felt obligated. I lost everything. My wife is only my wife by Catholic law. In all definitions of the word, we're separated. There's nothing between us anymore. Only Kerrianne, who I'll likely never see again."
I bit my lip harder this time, those unruly tears threatening to come back again. I hadn't expected this to be his story. I reached out, my fingers caressing the side of his face, paying special attention to his scar. I cared about this man. I wasn't sure when it happened, but it was there. I could feel the emotions rack my body.
His hand caught mine, flattening it out against his cheek, "I want ya, Eva."
"I'm sorry?" I blinked, unsure of what he was telling me.
He stood up, causing me to back away. I bumped into the desk behind me, throwing my hands backwards to steady myself.
His voice lowered, "I want ya, and only ya. I want ya to be mine. There's been no one but ya since I came ta Charmin'. Ya've been the only one ta put up with my shite, or not." He chuckled and grabbed my hands, pulling them into his, "I don't want ta pretend anymore. Crow eaters do nothin' for me. It's only ya."
I blinked a few more times, trying to comprehend his words. When had our agreement become this serious? I knew that I was starting to change my tune, but him too? When I fully processed what he was confessing to me those traitorous tears welled in my eyes. Worry flashed across his features, assuming I was about to reject him. To stop him from making the wrong assumption I leaned into him, my lips capturing his. I poured my answer into that kiss. Thoughts of him claiming me resurfaced and I hardened my kiss. His hands let go of mine, jamming me back into the desk at an awkward angle. My hands gripped the lip of the desk, keeping me firm while his mirrored mine, keeping him flat against me. My tears spilled over, making my cheeks slick with liquid. I felt one of his hands rest on the side of my face, wiping the liquid away. His other hand snaked around my waist, digging hard into my lower back. The pressure of his hand on my back forced me into an arch that plastered our bodies together. Our upper bodies were tilted at such a strong angle over the desk, my feet barely touched the floor. Filip was my only anchor. The desk lip bore into my curled fingers, but I ignored the protest of pain shooting up my arms.
Gemma came back outside, beer in one hand and Clay in the other. She looked around for Happy and found him bent down and murmuring to the prospect outside of the office doors. She spotted the light on through the closed blinds and narrowed her eyes. There was something out of the ordinary happening.
She pulled her hand away from Clay as he stopped to talk with a few visiting members. He gave her a questioning gaze, but she waved him off, stomping over to Happy and the Prospect.
She directed her question at the kid, "Did you get me the rest of those forms?"
Both Happy and Ortiz shot up, fear in their eyes.
Ortiz stammered, "I... um… no. Happy stopped to talk with me for a minute. Sorry ma'am."
She narrowed her eyes, glaring at Happy, "What's going on?"
Happy tried his best to appear nonchalant and shrugged, "Don't know what you mean. Just wanted to talk to the kid about his tats."
"Don't lie to me Happy." She hissed.
He shook his head, "Not lying. Right kid?"
Ortiz nodded enthusiastically, hoping that they could steer Gemma away from the office.
Happy held out a hand, pointed in the direction of the clubhouse, "Have you met some of the newer Tacoma brothers?"
Gemma sneered, "No... Why don't you introduce me…?"
She let both Happy and the kid walk in front of her before calling out, "Let me just grab those forms first."
She spun on her heel, making for the office door. Ortiz gasped, and Happy reached out stopping Gemma's hand from turning the knob. He didn't say anything, just shook his head.
"What's going on?" Gemma shouted. She glowered at the two Sons. Happy's face was stoic, while the kid look shell-shocked, "What they hell happened?"
Her wrist turned the doorknob and Happy gripped down tighter grunting, "Don't Gem."
"Let go of me." She spit.
Happy lifted his hand, putting it up in a sign of surrender. He shook his head, sighing and backed away. He grabbed the prospect by his upper arm and began to lead him away from the door. Gemma shoved the door inwards, gaping at the sight she saw. She was too caught up to figure out who it was at first. All she could focus on were the two bodies, draped over the desk. The back facing her had a SAMCRO cut, and a woman's leg hooked around his hips. She studied them more carefully and was met with the sight of very dark hair, on both participants.
"Chibs?" I heard a woman call from behind him.
We jumped apart, startled at the interruption. I caught the eye of the woman in the doorway and realized it was Gemma.
"Merde [Shit]!" I spit out.
Filip turned around, peering at Gemma.
"Lee?!" she shouted.
We both straightened, while I pulled down my tank as far down as it would go. For a first, Gemma was at a loss for words. She gaped at the two of us for a minute before crossing her arms.
"What's going on here?" She asked snidely.
I wiped at my face ferociously, realizing that evidence of my tears were still clear on my face. Filip opened his mouth to try and say something but Gemma held up a hand, stopping him.
She leaned backwards out the door and shouted, "Happy get in here!"
We both groaned, Happy was the last person we needed to be a part of this. Filip took a step backwards, covering my body with his. I lifted one eyebrow at his stance, almost as if he was covering me, hiding me from the people in the room. I put one hand forward, resting on his shoulder blade, acknowledging his position.
Happy's face appeared in the doorway and Gemma pulled him violently in to the room. He ended up standing in the void between us and Gemma.
"How long?" she pried, looking directly at Happy.
Happy shrugged, "Dunno."
"Don't lie, Happy." She pointed in a threatening manner.
"I only found out about a month ago. I don't know how long before that." Happy conceded.
Gemma turned her glare on us, "Care to give me the real answer."
Both Filip and I stood mute.
Gemma stalked forward, stopping inches from Filip, one hand on her hip, "Did you think about how this would affect the club?"
I shook my head, "Why would anything between us affect the club, Gem?"
Her eyes bore into my skull, she could be intimidating when she wanted to be.
"All the stress you two have put on the club. You have Clay convinced that you two are going to end up killing each other, literally." She seethed.
I pursed my lips, trying to hold in my laughter. I actually had the President of SAMCRO worried that I would turn into a loose cannon on them. Another body popped up behind Gemma.
"Ummm…. Clay and Jackson are on their way over here." Ortiz blurted.
"Shite." Filip finally spoke.
I rolled my eyes, relaxing back onto the desk, perfectly hidden behind Filip's body. If someone walked in, they'd only be able to see my legs, and only if they studied hard enough.
"What do we tell them?" Gemma asked.
Filip shrugged and I interrupted, "Tell them the truth."
My comment was directed at Filip, who turned and gazed at me, "Have we even worked out the truth for ourselves."
I gave him a condescending look, "Wasn't that what our whole conversation led up ta? Are ya now tellin' me ya lied, made up tha entire thing?"
I shot up, my face in his. He let a small smile slip across his face, stroking a finger down my inner forearm.
"Ya know none of tha' was a lie. I'm jus' askin' if ya want the whole club ta know… right now?" he inquired.
I sighed, not sure if I was ready to get into bed with the club. If this was going to go official, I'd be an old lady. I'd have to play by some of their rules. Was I ready for their shit storm to flood my life? Gemma watched the entire exchange with interest. She had seen the obvious tension between the two of us from the get go, but she never imagined that it was actually coming to life behind closed doors. She hid her smile. She was happy for Chibs, he needed someone after all the complications of his old life.
Clay's tall figure crowded the doorway, "Gem? Is everything alright in here?" He took a moment to browse the room, greeting the others, "Hap. Chibs." When his eyes landed on me he spoke with question, "Lee?"
Filip and Gemma twisted around, facing Clay. I reached forward, circling my fingers through Filip's. I'd given him my answer. The club was going to find out sooner or later. At least we could do this sooner and get over the shock faster. I couldn't see the smirk, but I knew it was there on his face. His fingers curled around mine, squeezing. Clay caught the action and ogled at our hands entwined for a long moment.
He lifted his eyes to our faces, another question coming out, "Chibs… and Lee?"
Jackson rounded the corner, "Chibs and Lee what? Finally killed each other?"
He snorted with laughter, stepping into the office. His amusement was wiped away quickly when he took in the scene of the room. His eyebrows shot up his face, disappearing into his hairline.
"Someone care to explain what's going on around here?" Clay's voice reverberated around us.
I tightened my grip around Filip's hand, unsure of what the club's reaction was going to. What was he going to say? Every way I thought about announcing it, sounded juvenile and pathetic.
"Yea." Filip confirmed, "Me and Eva."
Both Jackson and Clay tilted their heads in question. Gemma sighed, ushering everyone outside.
"C'mon boys, let's take this outside. I'm sure neither Chibs nor Lee want us intruding on their intimate moment." She directed.
Filip and I were the last to reach the door, but Gemma turned back around.
"I want to speak with her." She told Filip.
Filip nodded slowly, turning to face me, the question 'would I be ok' on his face. I winked up at him. I could handle anything Gemma decided to throw at me. He reluctantly let my hand go and sped up to catch up with the rest of the Sons. Clay pulled him into a one arm hug, slapping him on the back enthusiastically. I heard the 'good for you' loudly from the door where Gemma and I stood.
Gemma let her smile show, momentarily before spinning to face me again, smile wiped clean.
"Inside." She commanded.
I did as I was told, back tracking into the office.
"Sit." She pointed to the couch.
I crouched down, settling on the arm closest to the door. Gem pulled the office chair around the desk, sitting down, crossing one leg over the other.
"You love him?" She eyed me.
I scoffed, "Its ta early ta know, Gem."
She shook her head, "It's never too early."
I just stared at her, keeping my emotions away from my features.
"The club comes first…" She started but I stopped her, a hand in the air.
I nodded, "I know, same goes for me. My job comes first… Not the restaurant."
Gem and I stared each other down. She took her time mulling over the fact that Filip and I were going official. She leaned back in her chair, her smile returning. I closed my eyes, silently thanking every God out there for not creating a war between me and the Queen of SAMCRO.
"Come here Lee." She reached out for me, pulling me into the rare Gemma embrace.
I couldn't help but chuckle. I wrapped my arms around her.
"Welcome to the family." She cooed in my ear.
For a brief second I felt the blood in my veins run cold. What had I gotten myself into…? I did my best to push those negative thoughts aside. Filip and I were still in the 'try' stage. We didn't know where this was going to end up. I didn't need to worry… yet.
