Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Lord of the Rings.
Chapter 12
"Where are you?" Éowyn asked as she finished her evening meal with Beornwyn sitting at her side slowly chewing at the bread from her plate. Beornwyn looked at Éowyn with a frown.
"What?" Beornwyn asked confused after she swallowed her bread and Éowyn smiled. "I am sitting right here, just as I have been since I brought in your meal."
"That is not what I mean, and you know it," Éowyn said and Beornwyn sighed quietly. "You have not said more than twenty words the entire time we have eaten. What is it that is bothering you?"
"Nothing, I am just thinking," Beornwyn said.
"About a certain someone?" Éowyn asked, knowing her friend all too well. Beornwyn felt her cheeks flush as she put her plate on the tray along with Éowyn's. "You cannot lie to me for you are a terrible liar."
"What if he does not come back?" Beornwyn asked with her desperation clear in her eyes. Éowyn's teasing smile melted at her friend's distraught look. She shook her head and reached out with her right hand. Beornwyn quickly took her hand and Éowyn squeezed her hand tightly.
"You cannot doubt him, Beornwyn," Éowyn whispered.
"I do not doubt him," Beornwyn said quickly. "He is a strong and sure warrior, but we have lost so much. What if we are to lose him as well? What then?" Beornwyn paused and pulled her hand away from Éowyn's fidgeting her hands in her lap. "You will take rule of Rohan, the lone heir in Théoden's line."
"That will only be if the war is won." Éowyn just had to voice another one of Beornwyn's worries. During the day she explored the Citadel after she let Éowyn rest and her talk with Éomer. She heard many things as she walked, many things that made practically no sense to her about a hobbit, a friend of Merry and Pippin's, that held the fate of all of Middle Earth. So, she knew that if the hobbit failed in his task that their fate was doomed.
"And if it isn't?" she asked her blue eyes meeting Éowyn's.
"Do not think in such a way," Éowyn ordered. "You do not know what the outcome will be, nor do I. We do not have the answers we seek because there are none."
"I am just afraid," Beornwyn said softly, admitting her fears out loud to not only Éowyn but to herself.
"Then talk to him. They leave the day after tomorrow; it would be a shame if he rides off into battle and does not know where your heart lies."
"He already knows," Beornwyn admitted and Éowyn frowned. "I told him before they left the camp at Dunharrow."
"Then what are you doing here?" Éowyn asked. "You should be spending every moment you can with him before they ride. I know you regretted not spending more time with Theodred when you could, Beornwyn, do not make that same mistake again."
"We are to meet tonight," Beornwyn said. "We were to have dinner, but Eothain came to me earlier with a message that we would meet later because his duties were taking longer than he had hoped." Beornwyn raised her hands to her face before she rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I feel so melancholy," she said as she lowered her hands and gave Éowyn a small smile. Éowyn chuckled and shook her head.
"You are no more melancholy than the rest of us," Éowyn said. "However, I do think you should talk to him to settle your fear. He loves you, Beornwyn, and he knows you as well as I do. He'll see that something is wrong, and you'll not be able to deny him." Beornwyn sighed and nodded her head. "Let's speak of something else; there is no point in dwelling upon the unknown now."
"How is Merry? When I saw Pippin this morning he said that Merry was faring much better," Beornwyn said and Éowyn nodded.
"He is to be released from the House tomorrow," Éowyn asked. Beornwyn smiled and nodded her head, happy to hear that Merry was doing well. She looked at Éowyn but Éowyn's eyes moved behind Beornwyn for only a moment before she looked away and down at her bound hand, a soft color to her cheeks.
Beornwyn frowned and looked over her left shoulder only to see a man with dark hair standing near one of the pillars of the large room. He was looking away, ashamed at being caught it seemed, and Beornwyn felt her dreadful mood slip away and a smile make its way across her face.
"It seems you have captured the attention of a Gondorian solider," Beornwyn said in a whisper as she turned her eyes to Éowyn.
"Not now, Beornwyn," Éowyn said quickly, the color on her cheeks darkening and Beornwyn smirked. "You should go to the Citadel before it grows dark. Éomer will be looking for you." Beornwyn nodded and stood, picking up the tray that held their half eaten meals.
"Very well, but do not think that I will let you off so easily," Beornwyn said. "I will expect answers tomorrow during my visit." Éowyn rolled her eyes as she sighed, but Beornwyn walked away before her friend could say another word. She handed the tray to the nurse who had given it to her when she entered the House of Healing before she made her way to the Citadel.
She smiled as she passed the soldiers that stood just within the doors after she walked inside the Citadel and she silently walked through the main hall and down the corridors that would lead to Éomer's chamber. There was little doubt in her mind that he was still either in council or with his men, so, she decided to wait in his chamber for him to be finished with his duties. It did not take her long to reach her destination, and she knocked softly on the door just to be sure that he was not in. When she received no response, she opened the door and entered the room.
Just like the night before, there was a fire burning in the fireplace filling the room with a welcoming warmth but limited light. So, just as before Beornwyn lit several candles about the room filling the room with a soft glow. Sighing, she settled herself onto the sofa that rested near the fireplace. She drew her legs up under her, and rested her chin on her hand as she propped up her elbow on the arm of the sofa and stared into the burning fire.
As she sat there, her thoughts turned to her conversation with Éowyn and she bit her lip. Beornwyn knew Éowyn was right. There was no point in dwelling on questions that they did not have an answer to for they would only weigh down her already heavy heart. She decided then and there to put her uncertainty for the future behind her if only for that night. She would make the best of the evening with Éomer, for it may very well be the last chance she had.
A gentle touch raked across her cheek and she felt fingers slide through her bound hair. Sighing, Beornwyn opened her eyes only to see Éomer's face lit warmly by the firelight. "Hello," he said with a small smile and Beornwyn took a deep breath as she sat up from her resting position against the arm of the sofa. "How long have you been waiting here?" he asked and Beornwyn rubbed at her eyes and lowered her feet to the floor while he sat down on the sofa next to her. She glanced at the small table where a small candle rested and saw that the wax had barely burned down since she sat down.
"Not long," she said as she turned her eyes to him, realizing then that he was not in his armor but in a dark tunic and brown breeches. "Where is your armor?" she asked raising her hand to his left upper arm.
"I removed it long ago," he said and she slid her hand down his arm, taking his hand into hers. "It's a little uncomfortable to sit in endless councils dressed in full armor." Beornwyn smiled before she leaned in and rested her head against his shoulder. "What is bothering you?"
"I wish not to speak of it," she whispered before she raised her head and looked at him. He frowned when he saw the tears in her eyes and he let go of her hand, bringing both of his hands to her face and turned her head so she was looking directly at him.
"Tell me," he said softly and she sighed.
"It is nothing more than what we discussed this afternoon," she told him honestly. "I am just afraid of what the coming days will bring, but tonight I do not want to speak of it."
"Then we will not speak of it," he told her as he ran his warm thumbs across her cheeks. As she looked at him, she felt something inside of her break but she did not know what it was. He sighed and leaned into her, resting his forehead against hers. His hair was unbound and as he moved his hands to her shoulders the soft strands of his hair brushed against her cheeks. "You do not know what it means to me to have you here."
"You do not know what it means for me to be here," she whispered back. "I cannot image sitting in Edoras awaiting word on whether or not you would ever return."
"Instead you await word in Minas Tirith," he said and she sighed and pulled her head from his and looked at him. "I will come back, Beornwyn," he said heatedly before he raised his hand to her face once more. She sighed and shook her head and leaned into him, capturing his lips with hers. Éomer's hand moved from her face to her neck while his other settled on her waist. She pulled her lips from his, but she kept them hovering above his.
"You denied me that promise once before, Éomer," she whispered, her eyes open and looking into his darkened gaze. "Do not lay it before me now when my heart so wishes for it to be true."
"Beornwyn-," he started but she kissed him again, silencing whatever words he was about to speak. After only a moment she pulled away once more, however, she pulled back farther and met his gaze evenly.
"Do not promise me a tomorrow that may never be. Promise me tonight," she said her face flushing as the words left her mouth.
"What?" he asked her, his hands slipping from her body and taking her slightly trembling hands into his. "What do you mean?"
"Promise me tonight," she repeated. "Allow me a moment of happiness with the man I have come to love so much. Show me that happiness, Éomer, please," she pleaded and he frowned as the meaning of her words sank in.
"I cannot," he said, letting go of her hands he stood and shook his head. Beornwyn's already flushed face only darkened at his refusal and she looked down at her hands in her lap. "I will not," he said again and she glanced at him just as he kneeled before her, gently touching her chin and lifting her eyes to his. "I cannot take what is yours to give to your husband."
"If you do not return, there shall be no one to give it to," she said quietly. "I love you, Éomer, and I think . . . I think that I love you more than I ever loved Theodred, something that I never thought possible. I know that if you do not return . . . there will not be another." Éomer sighed as he looked at her and as he lowered his hand from her face he shook his head.
"I love you, Beornwyn," he told her softly. "But I cannot share my bed with you in that way, not yet." Mortified by his refusal and even more so by the fact that she had offered herself in that way to begin with, she stood quickly. So quickly she nearly knocked Éomer back.
"I am sorry," she said as she raised her skirts slightly and ran from him and out the door.
"Beornwyn!" he exclaimed and made to follow her, but she did not yield to him. She ran down the corridor and into her chamber, closing the door firmly behind her. Éomer sighed as he looked at Beornwyn's door down the corridor from the archway of his own door. He did not mean to make her feel foolish, he only wanted her to know that he felt that he could not have her in such a way until she was his wife. He felt that that was only fair to her. Sighing once more, Éomer turned and walked back into his room. He would let her rest and speak with her after the dawn.
Beornwyn raised her hands to her flushed face as she walked through her fire lit room. She couldn't believe she practically threw herself onto Éomer's bed. She knew he was right to refuse her, but she was hurt all the same. Sighing, she threw herself onto her bed and closed her eyes. Sleep sounded wonderful, but she only stared off into the darkness for most of the night, her mind on everything but sleep.
