Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

Author's note: You can throw stuff at me later.

"She didn't choose this role, but she'll play it and make it sincere so... you cry. And they'll believe it from the tears and the teeth..."

Time To Dance, Panic! At The Disco

She's so beautiful when she sleeps. I just stare at her for what seems hours, and I realize I can't get enough of her. I look at the alarm clock on the nightstand and groan; a press roundtable is starting in two hours, and I have to get ready.

Can I just stay here?

I move closer to Clare, wrapping my arms around her naked body, and she stirs sleepily. Hmm, I need to wake her up.

My lips tease Clare's neck, and then I place quick kisses on her skin, smirking to myself. And... she starts giggling. She's giggling. It's seven in the morning and she's just giggling.

"Stop it," she giggles, and I stop my attack. Her phone starts buzzing on the nightstand next to her and she reaches for it, but I'm still not letting go.

"Hello?" she answers breathlessly, and I continue to kiss her neck. "Oh, hey, Wesley."

I look up at the mention of a male name, and she shakes her head at me. "Editor," she mouths, and I shrug before continuing my attack on her skin.

"Oh, really? That... is unfortunate," she says, hitting me with her hand. "Yeah, I can do that. No, don't worry about it, it's okay. Um, I'll catch that flight, yeah. No, I'm sure they will understand. I have enough material for the first part... okay. Don't worry about it. Okay, see you soon. Bye."

She hangs up and throws her phone to the side, and she looks at me with sad eyes. "We only have two nights left," she sighs, and I raise my eyebrows at her.

"No, we still have a little over a week left," I state.

"My editor needs me to cover this event," she says, caressing my chest with her hand. "I have to leave in two days. But hey, I'll be in Toronto when you guys come back..."

She trails off, waiting for my answer. I kiss her, not knowing what to say, and she kisses me back.

"Yeah, the two-week break," I mutter against her lips. "And then we'll have to fly to New York for the first stop of the world tour. Fun."

"I will hold your hand during the flight," she grins, and I feel myself blushing.

"So, two days," I say, brushing the outline of Clare's lips with my fingertips. "That's a bummer."

"I know," says Clare regretfully.

"You know what?" I say. "Let's just make the most out of these two days. I think that staying in this room would be a great idea. Just a thought."

She presses her lips against mine, our legs tangled underneath the sheets, and she sighs happily.

"Maybe you're right," she whispers, our lips brushing.

"I'm always right," I say huskily.

"Know-it-all," she teases, sticking out her tongue. I take advantage of this and I suck on her tongue, causing her to press her body closer against mine. We kiss feverishly, and I really, really, don't want to leave. Who cares about the press roundtable? I just want to focus on Clare.

My fingers trail down her stomach and she moans as I touch her. It doesn't take me long to realize that she's already wet, and I smirk against her lips. "I have a few minutes to spare," I say, and my lips kiss her chin, her neck, her collarbone. I get rid of the sheets and I stare at her naked body. I place my hands between her thighs and I gently spread her legs, and when I look at her, she's blushing deeply.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asks innocently.

I can't stop smirking, and I glance at my watch. "You have no idea."

Later

"It was nice to not be attacked for once," I sigh before taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Adam chuckles at me and then stares in delight at his enormous burger. "This is beautiful," he says with starry eyes.

"You will never change," I mock, and he grins at me.

It's nice to hang out with only Adam for once, it's been a while. I called Clare after the press roundtable and told her I would see her later, and she said she couldn't wait. It's weird, having someone waiting for you. I still haven't asked Clare to be my girlfriend, but I will, eventually. I just need to gather up the courage to tell her.

"Adam," I say seriously, and Adam nods as he continues to devour his burger. "I need to tell you something."

"Go ahead," mumbles Adam, his mouth full of food.

"You know about what's going on with Clare," I say, biting my lower lip nervously. "Well, um, I kind of... I really like her. And I... I want to make it official."

Adam swallows and his eyes widen, looking completely shocked. "Wait, wait. You want to make it official? As in... calling her your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," I say defensively.

Adam continues to stare at me in disbelief, and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. If he's not okay with is, I don't give a fuck, I really don't. I just thought I would let him know.

"That is..." And suddenly, he's smiling widely at me. "That's pretty fucking amazing! Dude, I can't believe it! Oh, man, look at you. You're going to be somebody's boyfriend. How cute!"

"It's not cute," I pout, but I'm glad that Adam approves.

"Okay, as your publicist, I need to ask you to wait," says Adam, now sounding business-like. "Before going public, that is. You guys need to be discreet until after the profile comes out, okay? And you need to tell Drew."

"Why?" I groan.

"He's your agent," says Adam, raising an eyebrow. "Let me text him. I'm sure he'll join us."

Great. I didn't know that a personal decision would have to involve Drew, but that's fine. I continue to eat while I think about how to approach the subject with Clare, and I feel childish. The last time I asked someone to be my girlfriend was... never. I never really asked Julia; it was just implied. And the girls after her were nothing serious, of course. Maybe I'm growing up at last, how amusing.

Adam starts asking me questions about Clare, and I answer some of them ("so, she's single, right?") and some of them I don't ("how many times have you guys slept together?").

We're almost done eating when Drew joins us, a flustered look on his face. "You rang?" he teases, his anxiety disappearing as he sits down with us.

"Eli has some news," says Adam mockingly, and points at me. Drew looks at me happily, waiting to hear what I have to say. Damn it.

"I met someone," I say, my words sounding stupid. "I, er, I really like her. So, yeah, I met someone."

"I know," says Drew, and I look at Adam, who looks confused.

"What?" blurts Adam, and I feel confused too.

"I know about you and Clare," grins Drew, stealing some of my leftover fries. "I'm not stupid. It's pretty obvious."

"Well, I-"

"Eli, it's okay. That's awesome, dude," says Drew, but I know that he doesn't like Clare, so he sounds strained. "Just great. Do you mind keeping this quiet before the profile comes out? After that you can marry her, okay?"

I have a huge smile on my face and I can't help but hug Drew. Adam joins us in the hug and it's like we're teenagers all over again, celebrating over some stupid, meaningless shit.

"Whoa, calm down," chuckles Drew as we all let go of each other. "I'm so happy for you, Eli. I promise."

I look at him and I smile, forgiving him for the whole Imogen thing. "I know."

Drew chews on more fries and looks at me quizzically, a smile on his lips. "So, when did this start? I started suspecting after we left Edmonton..."

I start giving him so details, but my mouth is running automatically. My thoughts consist of only Clare and I'm stressing out about telling her how I really feel. We won't have time tonight, I have a reading and a signing, but tomorrow night I'll be free. I want to make the last night we spend together before she flies back to Toronto a special night. Maybe we can go out to dinner and...

Wow, she has changed me. I feel nervous and anxious and other things I can't really describe.

I think I love her.

The next day

"What is taking you so long?" I whine as I sit on Clare's bed.

"I'm a girl, okay? I need time to get ready," she calls from the bathroom, and I sigh mockingly. We're in my room, and I've been waiting for more than thirty minutes, so I'm getting kind of impatient. Plus, I'm extremely nervous about asking her to be my girlfriend, so she better hurry up before I explode.

"I'm dying out here," I snap playfully, and she finally emerges.

She's wearing a blue dress, high heels and what looks like a grayish-silverish cardigan. She looks... amazing. I just want to skip dinner and rip that dress off her and-

"You look so beautiful," I say, my eyes all over her.

"Thanks," she nods, her blush giving away her nerves as always.

I'm about to stand up and walk over to her when my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. Ugh, not now. I look at my phone and see that it's Drew the one who's calling. I guess I'll take it.

"Hey," I say, and I smile at Clare as I hold on to the phone.

"I need you to come to my room, it's kind of important."

"Can it wait?"

"It will only take a few minutes," says Drew, and he sounds desperate. "It's really, really important."

"Okay," I say exasperatedly, and I hang up.

"What happened?" asks Clare as I walk over to her. I kiss her briefly and I smirk at her as I brush my hand against her cheek.

"Drew needs to talk to me or something," I shrug. "Just stay here, it won't take long."

"So now I'm the one doing the waiting," she winks.

"Serves you right," I tease, and I steal another kiss from her.

Later

"It's unlocked," calls Drew from the inside of his room, and I push the door open.

I walk into the room, trying to stop my jittery behavior. Drew is standing up, and a man I have never seen before is sitting on the chair by the desk, his arms crossed. The man has a serious expression on his face, he looks pissed off, and I almost want to suggest him to relax, even though I have no idea who he is.

"Hey... I thought we were going to be, you know, alone," I say cautiously. I'm already wasting my time, being here in Drew's room, when I could be telling Clare that I want to be with her, that I want her to be my girlfriend.

"This is Mark Fitzgerald," says Drew coldly, pointing at the man.

Mark Fitzgerald? The name sounds familiar for some reason...

"Mark is the owner of a community theater in Mississauga," explains Drew, and everything makes sense.

"Oh, yeah, Clare wrote about you," I grin, remembering the article that I liked so much. "It was a really touching profile, Mark. That was-"

Mark looks at me directly in the eye and sighs sadly, as if he's about to deliver bad news. I feel my heart freeze with terror, but I don't know why I'm feeling so apprehensive, the man hasn't even said a word.

"Call me Fitz," he says, and stands up. "I found out that she was writing a profile about you, and I just had to contact your agent. We need to talk about Clare Edwards."

I raise my eyebrows at both of them, because they are looking at me as if they're feeling sorry for me. I have no idea what is going on, but I don't like this at all. I glance at Drew but he looks away, pity etched on his face. Fuck, what the hell is going on?

"Um, okay," I mumble uneasily.

There is hurt in Fitz's eyes as he looks at me, and his finger toys with the cross around his neck. I remember how Clare wrote about Fitz's past as a troubled teenager, and how "God" helped him find his way back to normalcy. I just stand there awkwardly as Fitz seems to struggle with himself, with what he's about to say. Damn it, just spit it out.

"Clare... is not the most ethical journalist in the world," says Fitz carefully. "I didn't want to share most of my past when she interviewed me. But she got under my skin, and she seemed nice and understanding... I fell for her."

What? No. No way. No, no, no.

"I'm married, but I guess temptation was stronger than anything, and I had an affair with her," continues Fitz, and my heart can't handle it. "I poured my heart out to her and she seemed to be... I don't know, she was supportive and all. Then she got all the information she needed and when I told her that I was willing to get a divorce just for her, she ended it. I never heard from her until the profile came out, and I felt so used. I called Clare, and she just yelled at me and said that she had information about me... she was blackmailing me, see? My wife still doesn't know about the affair..."

Fitz looks at the wedding band on his finger sorrowfully, and he looks like he's about to cry. Well, I'm about to throw up. This can't be happening, this can't be real, Clare likes me, she does, she does.

"Be careful," pleads Fitz. "I don't want you to go through what I've been through. She will do anything for a story."

Yes, anything. Fuck.

Fitz is still talking to me, and tears are rolling down his cheeks, but I'm zoning out. Clare played me, oh, she is a smart one. No wonder I couldn't figure her out, she's fake. Oh god, she's just like Imogen. Fake, fake, fake, everything between us was fake. I can't...

"Eli?" asks Drew, and his hand is on my shoulder. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say dryly. "Thanks, Mar- Fitz, for... you know, the heads-up."

"No problem, man," he says, and shakes my hand. "Don't tell her I... don't tell her I came here, okay? If she finds out, she'll probably call my wife and-"

"Don't worry about it," I say blankly.

No, don't worry. Your timing was perfect, Mark Fitzgerald.

Drew escorts Fitz out of the room and I sit on the chair where the man was sitting before, and I bury my face in my hands. I feel shattered, and my insides are bubbling with anger and hurt.

"Wow, that was... yeah," says Drew, and I know that Fitz is gone. He was a fucking tornado, he just fucked everything up. I can't trust anyone, Johnny was right. No wonder Clare was quick to catch up on the Drew/Imogen thing... she knows liars because she is one.

"He called you?" I ask hoarsely.

"Yeah, it was out of nowhere," says Drew, sitting on the bed. "I mean, he left me tons and tons of voicemails and I finally got to talk to him a few days ago... I'm sorry. I know how excited you were about having a relationship with her, but she's just a fucking liar. I knew it, I knew something was wrong with her. Do you want me to call her editor?"

"No," I say suddenly. "She needs to finish the profile."

"But Eli-" starts Drew.

"Let me take care of things," I say, standing up. "I don't want her to lose her job, as fucked up as her methods to get the story are. I'll end things between us and make her life miserable while she tries to write her article. That's how we'll deal with this."

I feel the darkness run through my veins, I can almost taste my apathy in my mouth. I missed it, I missed being a cynic and a pessimist, Clare took that away from me. Well, tough luck. I look at Drew, and he looks mildly excited. He always hated Clare, so of course he's loving this.

"At least she doesn't know about Julia, right?" sighs Drew pleasantly. "Man, that would suck."

She knows too much, and yes, it does suck. Fuck, I was so goddamn stupid.

"I have to go," I say bluntly, and I leave the room.

Later

She's already sitting on the bed, going through all of her notes. The liar. The fake.

"You're here," she says, making it sound like she's missed me.

"How observant," I say coldly, and I lean my back against one of the walls.

She stands up and walks over to me, looking concerned. Save me your fake pity, Clare Edwards. I know your game now, just stop it.

"What's going on?" she asks, her sweet voice making me nauseous. I want to hate her, I need to hate her. Because I love her, and she doesn't love me back.

Why did I fall in love with her? I'm such an idiot.

"We need to talk," I say somberly and she crosses her arms.

"Okay," she responds, slightly defensive. Maybe she knows, maybe she saw Fitz walking around... I don't know anymore.

"Um... I know you're leaving tomorrow morning, that's why I thought we should talk before you left for Toronto," I explain condescendingly. She just blinks at me, waiting. "But something came up, so I can't go out tonight, might as well talk to you now. This... thing we had... this is it, okay? It's not going any further than this."

"What are you talking about?" she frowns.

"It was fun while it lasted, fucking around and all," I say. "But it needs to stop before it starts being more than casual."

There are many emotions crossing her face, but before I can identify them, she starts talking. "Oh, Eli, we stopped being casual a while ago," she snorts. "I think you're just freaking out, and that's okay. But-"

"I'm not freaking out, I'm being serious," I retort. "This is over. I can't sneak around with you during the world tour, it's going to be impossible. It was just sex, Clare."

She looks tremendously hurt, of course she does. Now she can't use sex to get me to confess things, so I win. I'm the winner in this, she will have to deal with the consequences, I don't really care.

"You're being ridiculous," she says stubbornly. "We were never about just sex, Eli! We have something else going on, but I think that you're just afraid. If this is because of Julia..."

"Shut up," I say angrily. "And don't you dare use what I told you about her against me. I was in a vulnerable place when I told you about that, so shut up. You don't know anything, and I'm not scared."

"There is something between us, Eli, and you know it!" she cries, and I want to laugh at her pathetic acting. I can be a great actor as well, just watch me.

"Well... sorry I led you on," I snap, and something inside of me breaks.

Her eyes are filled with despair and sadness, something I didn't expect. No, she's supposed to feel relieved, relieved because she doesn't have to fake liking me anymore, she's free. Goddamn it, Clare, you're supposed to look relieved.

"Wow," she gasps, and she looks miserable. "To think that I... I... I have to get out of here."

She walks toward the door and then she turns around, and I can see her cheeks shining with tears. Why is she crying? I feel the urge to run to her and console her, but then I remember what she did to me, what she did to Fitz.

"See you in New York," she says, everything sounding suddenly final, and she leaves.

A headache hits me all of a sudden and I can't process anything, I just fall on the bed, blinded by pain, and I close my eyes. I miss her already, I miss the way she kissed me, the way she moaned, everything, all of it.

She's gone. And my heart feels it.