The sun was setting on Azarath. Raven didn't want it to end, but she had to be going home soon. Sitting beside her, the flute player continued playing. The notes floating from his flute made her eyes heavy.
"Closing them won't hurt," she thought.
Then something jabbed into her shoulder.
"Stop it," she mumbled.
"Time to get moving, ice princess."
Opening her eyes, Nemo was standing over her. Blinking, she realized she wasn't sitting on a cliff side watching the Azarathian sunset and listening to flute being played, but struck in a desert with Nemo, her tormentor.
"Dreaming of pink bunny rabbits," remarked Nemo chewing on something black.
"No," she answered taking his coat off. Why couldn't she remember that flute player?
"Licorice?" he asked.
"No," throwing his coat at him.
Catching it, "Should get moving," said Rath.
"I need to use the bathroom."
"Behind the bounder."
"What am I going to do, use sand to dry off my butt?"
Pulling toilet paper roll from his satchel bag, "No, this," then threw it at her.
It bounced out of her hands onto the ground.
"Besides, you got a cute butt."
Picking it up, "Thanks," brushing sand off it.
"You're welcome."
Walking around the bounder, "Need some slack."
Shifting himself closer towards the bounder, "It that enough?"
"Yes and no peeking."
"Watching women squat to relieve themselves doesn't turn me on."
"Getting shot at more your style?"
"Actually like to know more about that redhead who stole your boyfriend."
"She didn't steal him."
"Well your boyfriend did run off with her."
"He didn't run off with her," returning from behind the bounder, "He left with her," throwing the roll towards him.
Catching it, "Still he ran off with her," returning it to his satchel bag.
Noticing he was wearing his coat, her brain flashed back to the hotel. He didn't wear it when they woke up together, but he had it on when she joined him in the hallway. Last night, he lent it to her, ever though a blanket would've been. Now he was wearing it. Stepping towards him, she tested his shackle. It was still locked.
"And what are you doing?"
"Nothing," she answered, "Are we going?"
"Of course," he said walking, "Now back to the intrusiveness of my curiosity, talk about the red head."
"Why would you want to know about that slut, so much?"
"When we met that badass boyfriend of yours, he could brag about her preferences."
"Her preferences?"
"Yeah, if she likes to be ramrodded along with chains, whips, leather and high heels."
"You're such a pervert."
"More like the mentality of a twelve year old. Like to have a one night stand with you, but this redhead sounds like her sense of humor is better then yours."
"Her sense of humor better then mine?"
"Bet she's more enjoyable in bed then you."
"Jake didn't complain."
Grinning, "You're not a virgin. You got to do the nasty with dickhead."
"I've said too much."
"How exactly did Mr. Wonderful in bed save you?"
"Save me?"
"Last night, you maintained how jerk off save a stoned maiden named Terra, turncoat named Jinx, now finally your damsel in distress moment."
"You'll only make fun of him."
"It's a long walk."
"Fine. There was this cult that wanted to kill me to open a portal."
"A blood portal?"
"Yeah. How do you know that?"
"Since you're not a virgin at that time, weren't you?"
"Correct."
"So a blood portal was logical choice since they didn't have a cosmic key. Bet he saved you and closed the portal."
"By jumping into it."
Stopping, "He jumped into the portal?"
Turning around, "Yeah."
"He jumped into a blood portal?"
She shook her head yes.
"Idiot! Moron! Idiotic moronic!" throwing his hands into the air, "You just proved my point."
"Proved what point?"
"You just proved what an idiotic moronic dumbbell your boyfriend is."
Standing on her tipping toes to stare into Rath's blue eyes, "He's not an idiot!"
"He jumped into a blood portal. All he had to do was to cut a palm open, pour blood into a bowel, and then throw the bowel into the portal to close it. And you slept with this guy?"
"I love him!"
"Listening to your heart will get you into trouble, Miss Roth," turning his head like a predator spotting prey, "Time to get moving Miss Roth."
"Why?"
"We're about to catch a ride."
Passing the "Welcome to Lake Okanagen" sign, "About time," thought Jake.
Driving over the curb, Jess parked the hummer.
"She needs to get her license revoked," thought Jake getting out of the hummer, "Now to find a phone."
Picking up the phone receiver, Jake heard no dial tone.
"A phone, a phone. He would give up Lolita for a phone," remarked Jess standing behind Jake.
"Fuck off."
"Fuck me is better."
Rolling his eyes, "Who the hell is this friend of yours?"
Smiling, "You can't miss him," remarked Jess walking towards the lake.
"I could use more detail here."
Speed of Jess turning around caught him off guard then hitting his stomach with something. Looking down, he saw it was a rolled up comic book.
"Read your answer," said the smiling Jess.
Taking the comic book, Jake unrolled it. Reading the Hellboy title cover, Jake noticed it got dark quickly. Then something started to go plump against his hat. Looking up, Jake stared a long neck creature staring down at him.
"Oh fuck," thought he reaching for his gun.
The creature exploded sending him forward covered in blood, guts, tissue, and goo.
Spitting his mouth clean, his ears detected, "Hey messy got a lit on you!"
Turning onto his butt, Jake stared at a red demon wearing a torn up tan trench coat trying to get a Zippo working.
Staring at the red stone hand covered with symbols, "Is that hand made of stone?" thought Jake.
"HB!" turned their attention to the really clean Jess.
Walking towards Jess, "Redhead," said the red demon hugging Jess.
"Guess the lab boys still haven't got it right yet."
"If you would accept Father's offer…"
"But the council won't let me."
Noticing the comic book beside Jake, "They never get the eyes right. Be truthful, redhead, I'm better looking then Ron Perlman."
"He didn't do you any justice."
Jake got up not believing he was staring at Hellboy.
"What are you looking at?"
"Didn't your momma tell you not to stare," whispered Jess into Jake's ear.
Pushing Jake out of the way, "Got to talk to the lady."
"Shoot if it moves," said Jess walking with Hellboy away from opened mouth Jake.
"Got a lit?" asked Hellboy.
Pulling a blow torch from her backpack, she clicked the trigger several times until flames shot from the torch.
"You got style," lighting his cigar, "So what brings you here?"
"Rath."
"Nutcase got away," noticing Jake pocking at the very dead eight legged brox, "Who's the stick?"
"Jake Spiegel, a six star demon hunter not related to Spike, general."
"One of Wheeler's butt boys?"
"No, his personality isn't as annoy as Kirk."
"So searching for Rath? Taking the long trip aren't you?"
"Got suspended."
"Yeah, heard you rearranged Kersis's face."
"They can rebuild her face like before. How's Abe and Charlie?"
"Wondering when you're returning for porker."
"When Rath gets found."
"Not anytime soon."
A shot rang out. They noticed Jake holding his gun at the dead brox.
"It moved!" he yelled.
"What a stick?" stated Hellboy.
