Chapter Twelve

There had been a change in me. I changed that I couldn't exactly explain but it was there. I wasn't happy, at all. You couldn't even get a smile out of me. It had been two weeks since that day with Jared and everything had just seemed to fall apart.

Brian would always ask me at first if I was okay but he finally seemed to get the picture and left me be. I appreciated him being so concerned though.

"Kim- are you even paying attention! KIM!" Sasha snapped at me. We were currently all sitting in lunch and I was out in another world, thinking about Jared of course.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" I wondered but didn't get the story as she started to speak again and I zoned out.

If she noticed I wouldn't know because she left me alone, so did Kelsey. They had asked me what was wrong a couple of times but I just lied and said lack of sleep or something.

My eyes wandered around the cafeteria and met the eyes of Jared. He was looking at me. From his facial expression I could tell he was just as miserable as I was. His eyes pleaded with me. I couldn't take it but I couldn't look away.

The way his eyes were pleading with me to forgive him was too much to handle. Unwillingly I tore my gaze away. "Sorry girls I just remembered I have to go."

I grabbed my stuff and left the cafeteria. Only I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I heard footsteps behind me soon after I was gone.

I walked to place things had last taken place. The place where we had last spoken. "What do you want?" I asked still not facing him when the door was closed.

"I want to talk, about us. I miss you Kim. I know what I did was wrong-," I spun around abruptly, "What you did was wrong? What you did was fucked up!"

"I know that!" he snapped. "I have thought about it just about everyday! Do you know how much I miss you! I've tried to talk to you but you wont answer your phone or anything!"

"Why should I? To take you back and have you just break my heart?"

"I won't break your heart Kim. I promise."

I laughed a heavy laugh. "Funny. That's what you said once before but what do you know, you did it anyway."

"I'm sorry. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"What do you want Jared?" at this point I found it absolutely pointless to argue about the same thing over and over again.

"I want us back together."

"It doesn't work like that."

"Kim it's been forever!"

"It hasn't even been a month!"

"Is that how far you were going to take this, a month?" he asked seriously.

"I don't know. I just need this thing called time and you aren't exactly giving it to me." I still needed time to think. Jared and I weren't stable enough to be together.

"Don't say that," he told me softly.

"Why not it's true, and as much as you want to deny it you know that. Maybe we should call a quits now."

"NO! I love you."

"I love you too, I do. I really do and that's why I'm saying this, we should stop things," I told him seriously.

"That's why we shouldn't. Our love for each one another should be able to concur anything."

"Stop talking like that," I snapped without really meaning to. "That sounds like how things should be but they're not. We aren't in a book or anything, okay! It doesn't work like that!"

"I know that and I'm being honest. Plus this is reality Kim."

"Don't you think I know that."

"I'm hurting just as much as you are," he spoke and it amazed me how serious he sounded. It took everything out of me not to snort when he said that too. "Look, I love you, so much. And I made a mistake, I'm sorry. But I'm asking you to let me make it up to you."

"And I am asking you for time, but you aren't exactly doing what I ask either."

"Whatever Kim." he walked towards the door and opened it before turning to me, "I love you." after that he was gone.

As he left I stood there for what seemed like all period continuing with my day. I didn't speak to anyone and I was quite in class. It didn't seem like anyone noticed anyways, why would they though? Most of this school didn't even know who I was.

Brian left me alone on the way home. He left me alone when we got home. He left me alone when I sat in my room with the door open doing homework. He left me alone at dinner which Dad was present for. But Dad didn't get that I had no desire to talk to anyone.

"So how was school?" Dad wondered taking a bite of casserole.

"Great." Brain gave a smile of enthusiasim.

"Alright."

"Anything new happen?"

"No." Brain and I answered together.

"Oh okay. Well I have good news," Dad said happily.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"We can finally have some family time," Dad announced happily.

"What are you talking about Dad?" Dad didn't do family time. Actually none of us really did ever since Mom. We barley did anything together really. There was a part of us missing.

"Well I took a whole weekend off from work to stay here with you guys so we can hang out and talk more and do some fun things."

"Nice." this was brightening my mood a little bit. It was a change and I had to admit I had missed my father. Time with him was something more that I wanted.

"The four of us will have fun."

"Yeah, you, Kim, me and wait four?" Brian was just as confused as I was. There were only three of us. Unless Dad knew something that we didn't.

"Oh well I invited a girl from work, Margaret." I didn't like the smile on Dad's face, it was the same smile he had when Mom was alive. The problem was he was talking about another women with that smile.

I exchanged a look with Brian. "Nice, we can't wait to meet her," Brain answered for both of us. That was best so I wouldn't have to. I had no clue what to say so it was a good thing that I didn't have to speak.

The rest of dinner was pretty quite for the most part. I washed the dishes and cleaned up a bit before going to bed. I sat in bed, phone clutched in my right hand just thinking. Jared. Margaret. Prom. School. Brian. Dad. Mom.

Brian came into my room at this point and I still hadn't noticed, "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing really."

"Margaret."

"Yeah. Do you think it's serious between them?"

"Yeah. I know that it might be hard for you to accept Kimmy but at least try and get to know her."

"I can try. Doesn't mean I will like her. No one can ever replace Mom."

"You don't know that's what she's trying to do," Brain defended. Did he know something that I didn't about Dad and Margaret? He was right though I couldn't completely judge her.

"Fine. We will see."

"Yeah. I've been worried about you Kim. You okay now?"

I nodded. "I'm fine just a lot going on, you know."

"Yeah. So Junior Prom's coming up."

"Yeah, it is."

"You going?"

"I don't know."

"I think that you should go."

"Why?"

"You only live once, so why not live life to your fullest. Plus you'll have fun. Aren't Sasha and Kelsey going?"

That was a good question, a good one that I couldn't answer though because I didn't know.

"Um, not sure. We haven't really talked about." or they probably have and I've been in another world.

"Oh, alright. I can see your in thoughts so I'll leave you alone. See you in the Morning."

"Bye." Brian closed my door and I made sure my light was off thinking some more.

He was right about living life. And I was going to do just that.

Yes.- I quickly sent the text message to Jared. I couldn't help wonder if he was still awake. If he was I knew that he would reply most likely asking to what the hell I was talking about.

To what?- Jared.

Prom. It's a go.-Kim.

I didn't wait for a reply just snuggled into my pillow and waited for sleep.