Author's Note-Hey, this is a wee bit longer than most chapters, but I couldn't find a place to split it :D
One thing from the reviews of Chapter 11:-
CRB-In the UK, you can take up to six weeks to register a baby's birth, that's what I was basing that on. However, I did some research (that potentially I should have done first, oops) and found this. "The New York City Health Code, Title V, Article 201, Section 201.03 (b) states A person required to report a live birth…shall file a certificate of birth and a confidential medical report… Reports shall be filed within 5 business days after the birth with the office maintained and designated by the Department for such purposes." So, Kate could have checked out, AMA, before registering her, which allows Rick to get her birth certificate when he found out she was his, just leaving 'Mother's Name' blank. Obviously, at some point soon, this situation will be rectified.
Hope that clears some stuff up. Enjoy! NYLF xx
Beckett ran back to her apartment, while Rick got Becca settled at home, returning to the loft, overnight bag in hand, just after the writer had put the girl to bed.
Kate came back down the stairs, after putting her bag in the guest room, to find Rick pouring two small glasses of brandy, making Kate chuckle as she came to his side.
"Finally having it, huh?" She joked, taking hers and clinking her glass against his when he held it up.
"Still need it. She was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Docs said to not be surprised if she had nightmares, because of the drugs they gave her." Castle sighed, sipping the liquid slowly. "Couch?" He asked quietly, Kate nodding, before they made their way over.
"Because, because we're doing this tomorrow, " Kate started hesitantly, "I, I wanna thank you, Rick." She murmured, looking down at her drink as she swirled it in her glass, rather than dare look at him.
Castle watched her silently.
"You..." She sighed, shaking her head. "You've done a wonderful job, raising your, our, daughter. I can never thank you enough for that. She's brilliant, and beautiful, and quick as you like, and..."
"I can't take all the credit." Castle shrugged. "She practically raised herself." He chuckled before sobering. "She's extraordinary."
Kate nodded, sipping her drink before placing it on the table. "Yeah, she is." Kate murmured.
Castle put his drink next to hers before standing. "Give me a minute, I think there's something you're gonna want to see." He smiled at her before bounding up the stairs.
Kate watched him go, confused but a little excited, before she found herself drawn, once more, to the portrait on the wall behind her.
This was her daughter, her little baby girl, her life so far depicted in pictures. She was beautiful, truly, and it was heartbreakingly wonderful to see everything she had missed.
"Kate?" Castle called hesitantly, stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching his partner as she reverently traced Baby Becca's face, in one of the first pictures in the collage on his wall.
She turned sharply. "Sorry, I was just..."
"Pre-empting me?" He asked, lifting the two Bankers Boxes slightly when she shot him a confused look. He made his way over to the couch, setting one box on the table, the other in front of him, calling her over with his fingers.
Kate slowly crossed the room, gracefully curling herself on the couch next to him.
Castle smiled softly, slipping the lid off and dropping it on the floor at their feet. "I'm a little camera obsessed, when it comes to Beck at least. It used to be about everything I'd missed." He shrugged.
"You've been there since the day she was born, Castle." Kate reminded him softly.
"Yeah, I know, but I missed everything before that. When I thought about having kids, I always thought I'd be there, y'know?"
Kate shook her head slightly.
"I wanted to hold my girlfriend, fiancée, wife, significant-other-type-person's hand when we did the pregnancy test, wanted to go to every scan, hold her hair when she had morning sickness, run to the store at three in the morning for cravings." He chuckled sadly. "I wanted to see my child be brought into the world and cut the cord. Tell her mom how amazing she is." He shrugged. "I missed all that with Becca, so I got a little snap happy when she was a baby." He looked into the box and smiled, a smile Kate could easily identify as his 'father smile'. He reached in and took out a paper wallet. "They're all organised by year, month for the first one." He shook his head. "Becca helped me organise it after she needed copies of some of them."
"Why did she need copies?" Kate asked softly, her eyes flicking from the wallet in his hand and his face, practically trembling with anticipation.
Rick hesitated. "She had to do a 'Family Board' when she was about six for school. She took a copy of every picture of the two of us."
Kate bowed her head.
"She doesn't blame you. She never did." Rick murmured.
Kate nodded quickly, taking a fortifying breath. "Can, can I see?" She asked, nodding to the wallet. Castle nodded and handed it over. "That's month one." He smiled. "She hasn't seen most of these first ones."
Kate's hand shook as she opened it and took out the significant pile of pictures.
The first one in her hand was Becca, a few days old, sleeping in her dad's arm, while Rick held up a sheet of paper, the words 'DNA Results' clear at the top. The smile on his face could light Times Square.
"She hasn't ever seen it, doesn't know her origin story, but I wanted a picture of that moment."
Kate nodded. "How old is she here?"
"Three days. It was the earliest appointment I could get. I didn't want to get attached before I knew."
Kate smiled softly. She couldn't blame him for wanting to check, but the smile on his face told her everything she needed to know.
She flipped through the following few pictures, a lot of them Becca asleep, in various positions and locations, and she could imagine her daddy's proud smile behind the camera. Around the tenth picture mark, Kate halted.
"What is it?" Castle asked quietly.
Kate turned the picture round. A younger Rick was asleep on the couch, shirtless, while Becca was asleep curled up on his chest, only in her diaper. One of his hands dwarfed her tiny back as he gently held her in place.
"My mother took that picture. I'd heard skin to skin contact helped with bonding, so I was trying it. I was exhausted though, because she'd been up for the last three nights, unable to sleep. So I fell asleep with her. Mother came home and took that picture."
Kate smiled softly, staring at the picture.
"I can make you copies of any of the ones you want." Castle assured her softly.
"I'd appreciate that." Kate murmured, slipping the photo to the back of the pile as she did.
An hour later, Kate had just got to ten month old Becca.
About half way through the pile, Kate stopped dead.
"Hey, you alright?" Castle asked softly, moving closer.
Kate flipped the picture around and Castle could see why it had stopped her.
Becca was adorable in all her chubby glory, brunette curls up in pigtails, lavender dungarees over a baby blue shirt. Castle's hands held both of hers tightly, keeping her stood upright. She was smiling so brightly, showing off her front four teeth, but that wasn't what had made Kate's heart trip. Leaning against her legs was a hand-painted sign, with both Rick and Becca's hand prints covering it. In the middle, the words 'Hello Mommy' were painted with a flare.
"I made a few of those over the years." Castle murmured. "I wanted Beck to have a connection to her. I figured, if she ever came back into Beck's life, I could show her them. Give her some sense of history."
Kate nodded numbly.
"We can stop." Rick offered quietly.
"No." Kate shook her head. "I'm okay. I just, I wasn't expecting it that's all."
Rick nodded, letting her look through them silently.
Over the next hour or so, they laughed and joked about all the pictures of toddler Becca, covered in art supplies and all varieties of food, while Rick gave her as many back stories as he could remember. There were several Kate had asked him to copy for her already, including, much to Rick's warm gladness, every single one with a 'Mommy' sign.
"She's so happy." Kate murmured softly, flicking through pictures of Becca in her tiny school uniform from her first day at private school.
"Hmm?" Castle asked quietly, looking up from the pictures from the wallet she'd just looked at.
"You made her so happy." Kate smiled softly. "I'm really glad she had you, Rick. I know how she was brought into this world wasn't perfect, but I couldn't have asked for a better daddy for her."
Castle smiled softly and Kate was pretty sure he was blushing. "I tried my best. Did everything I could to make her childhood special."
"You did it." Kate nodded, smiling gently. "Thank you."
Castle shrugged. "Thank you for her."
Kate shook her head slowly, looking back at the pictures.
"Hey, Kate?" Castle asked quietly.
Kate hummed softly, not raising her eyes from the pictures in her hand.
"Tell me about your pregnancy?" He pleaded softly.
Kate looked up slowly, letting her hands, keeping her grip on the photos, fall into her lap.
"Y'know, if you, if you don't mind." He backtracked quickly.
"I, I don't mind telling you. What, uh, what do you wanna know?" Kate murmured.
"How did you know you were pregnant? Who went with you to your scans and appointments? Did you have morning sickness, if so, how bad? Do you have pictures of when you were pregnant? Did you keep the scan pictures?"
"Okay, okay, whoa." Kate chuckled. She put the photos back in their wallet and put it on the table beside the others. "Okay. Right. How did I know I was pregnant?" Kate started, watching with a smile, as Castle sat back and got comfy. She giggled and shook her head. "I was late by about nine weeks, after our night- but I'd put it down to stress for the first few weeks- and started to get queasy, all the time." She chuckled. "I was sick every time I even smelt coffee, never got close enough to actually drink it."
"Well then you know something's wrong." He chuckled, making her smile.
"I took Maddie and did a test, or three." She smiled. "They all came back positive."
"When did you tell your dad?" Castle asked quietly, knowing his answer as soon as her spine stiffened. "You didn't, did you?" It wasn't really a question.
Kate shook her head slowly.
"Have you ever told him? Does he know that you've found her?"
Kate, again, shook her head. "I stopped going to visit the moment I started showing, at four and a half months, and then didn't go back until after she was born. I couldn't tell him. He was too drunk for it to be safe to bring her up in that household, and he would either have told me to do that, or to not have her at all. It was easier to just not tell him." She shrugged. "If, and when, I'm in her life on a more permanent basis, then I'll have to tell him."
Rick nodded slowly. "Did Maddie go with you to your appointments?"
Kate shook her head. "No, Maddie was at school. I went on my own."
Castle took her hand gently. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Kate."
"I'm sorry, too. I wish you had been." She told him honestly.
"Did you suffer from morning sickness?" Castle asked quietly, gently changing the subject.
"Mm." Kate hummed. "Something terrible actually." She shook her head with a smile, making Castle match the expression. "All day. I was waitressing to help pay the bills. I got inheritance, so that paid for my apartment and utilities, but food I had to earn. I had to keep rushing to the bathroom between tables." She chuckled. "I actually lost weight with Becca."
Rick chuckled. "Did it stop by itself or did you go to a doctor?"
"It stopped, by about week nineteen. From there it was just swollen ankles and back pain." She shrugged with a smile that told him she had enjoyed pregnancy a lot more than she was letting on.
"No heels for a few months, then?" Castle joked, making Kate laugh.
"Nope, flats from month four actually. My tendons just ached too much for heels to be fun any more." She shook her head. "I do have pictures from when I was pregnant, which I'll let you see at some point." She smiled at Rick's grin. "And of course I kept her scan pictures." She murmured, a little hurt he'd even ask, it was written all over her face and it made his heart sink.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
Kate shook her head. "It's okay. I've got all of that stuff. Our hospital bracelets, the scan pictures, our first and only photo, her hand and foot prints. I've got a memory box. I wanted to keep it all."
"Can I see it, someday?" Castle asked softly.
"I want to show it to Becca first, if that's okay with you?" She was hesitant but Castle nodded quickly.
"Of course. You need to share stuff." Castle hesitated before carefully taking the pile out of Kate's lap, and putting it on the table, before he swapped the boxes over. "Can you do this tonight, or would you rather wait?"
Kate looked at the box cautiously. "What is it?"
"You remember me telling you about how she used to draw pictures, and write letters, to her mom?"
Kate gasped.
"I kept every one, for, kind of this moment, but I'm more than happy to wait if you can't do this all in one hit."
Kate knew it was a lot of information, a lot of emotional upheaval, but she craved the knowledge she was missing. "Can I take the pictures upstairs with me, in a bit? Keep looking?"
"Of course. And I'll make you those copies when ever you like, just make a pile of them and let me know. The envelope they're supposed to be in is written on the back, anyway." Rick smiled when she nodded softly. "So, you wanna see these tonight?"
Castle could see that flinty need for knowledge in her eyes, but was also well acquainted with the struggle he found there too.
"Yes, please." She whispered finally.
Castle gave her a reassuring smile and handed over the box, letting Kate take the lid off with reverence. He could see the tremble in her hand as she lifted out the first picture, one he knew to be painted by a nearly three year old Becca.
The colours were bright and bold, and there were no discernible shapes, but that didn't matter. In the middle, someone had obviously guided her hand, to write the words that brought Kate's heart into her throat and tears to her eyes, 'I Love My Mommy'.
"Rick..." Kate's voice cracked as she looked at him, her eyes drawn back to the picture every few seconds.
"Keep them Kate, they're yours."
