I Learned to Love You, by tamyalways

Translated from Spanish by ebfiddler

Author note: Good morning, here we are with another day and another chapter of this story. I'm happy, so happy that you all are reading this story, thank you so much for that.

As always I thank ladydkl for her wonderful work, for her enthusiasm and desire and speed whenever it's needed. Since we started working together, it's really improved my work, especially in this fic. Without her help this would not have gone nearly so well.

The characters are not mine ...

Idea from Lizcecilia6CECIFILLION


Chapter 12

RICK'S POV

I'd done it. Written my dearest wishes—my bucket list—down on paper. I knew that many of them were unattainable, but felt I might as well write them down anyway. Nothing was impossible in this life ... or what was left of it. If any of them at all actually came to pass, it would be like a dream come true.

"Seriously, Rick, who is this 'Kate'?"

"What?" She surprised me as she was changing the bags hanging from the bars above the hospital bed. Those bags contained the supposed cure-all for all the problems that were caused by the cure for my greater problem—the cancer.

"This 'Kate' who appears in almost all your wishes," said my nurse with the paper in hand. I immediately snatched it back from her, and she looked at me with a mischievous smile. "She must be really special, given the nature of some of your wishes."

"That's none of your business," I snapped, definitely in a bad mood. I folded the paper into a book and shoved it into my nightstand. "Anyway, it doesn't matter, this is a list of impossible things anyhow."

"I don't think there is anything in life that's impossible except—"

"Except avoiding death. Right. And that's getting closer and closer for me."

"Don't say that. You're going to live a long time, and if this 'Kate' knows what you want, she'll fulfill every one of those wishes you ask for, because it would be silly not to. Is she silly, Rick?"

"What're you saying? She's the cleverest, most intelligent woman I've ever known," I said with pride.

"More than me?" she asked, a smile on her face.

"That's it! You're not going to meddle any more in my life today, and we will not talk any more about her," I exclaimed, annoyed, just as the door opened and Kate entered.

"Talk about whom?" Kate asked as she closed the door behind her. My heart raced upon seeing her, standing there with that smile that she always had lately when I looked at her. God, I was still not used having her around, being allowed to look at her so much.

"About—" the nurse was about to answer, but thank God my heart rate shot up and set off the heart monitor, which sounded an alarm. Everybody looked at it, then it suddenly stopped.

"Rick, careful with those emotions," the nurse laughed, while she reset the machine.

"Kate, this is my crazy nurse. Crazy Nurse, this is Kate," I said pronouncing her name with some emphasis, hoping she would understand and shut up.

"Oh! So you're the famous Kate?" she said laughing at me.

"Famous? Rick, what did you tell this poor woman to get her to say that?"

"Yes, very famous, and apparently you're also much smarter than me. We'll have to go head to head on a trivia quiz or something, and check it out," she kidded, laughing as she saw the terror on my face. "Well I'd better go, before one of his looks cuts me in half or strikes me down dead." She smiled at Kate, who smiled back, but not before shrugging her shoulders at me in question.

"Well, I can see that you're not going to get bored here; she seems funny," Kate remarked, pointing to the door through which the nurse had just exited. "Another one of the many women who fall down and worship at your feet."

"Oh yeah, very funny," I responded nervously. "And...worship? Shut your mouth, Kate Beckett, and don't talk such nonsense. She's got me all fed up. She's such a terrible gossip, and wants to know everything. By the way, what are you doing here?"

"I told you I was coming. I don't know why you're surprised."

"Well, I'm glad that you came," I said smiling, trying to take the edge off and make her forget the previous few minutes. "I hope you brought me something to eat?"

"Sorry, I had no time. I came directly from the precinct."

"Great, now I get to eat the gourmet hospital food. Do you want the privilege of trying it today too?"

"It can't be that bad."

"It's a deal, then. Today you get to eat it," I laughed.

"I'd better not."

"And there's that encouraging spirit I was looking for. Here's to solidarity!" That smile was the most beautiful thing in the world; it ought to be named a World Heritage Sight.

"I would like to ask how you feel, but since you don't like to be asked that, I won't," she said biting her lip. She had no idea what that did to me—it was so innocent and sexy at the same time.

"For once—and mind you, I am not setting a precedent here—I'll answer without your having to ask me."

"Is that so?" she exclaimed, all wide-eyed. "What a privilege!"

"You'd better believe it. And I'm feeling pretty good, because you've come to see me," I informed her, which caused a pink color to suffuse her cheeks, then I added, "even though you have not brought me anything to eat."

"She didn't, but I did," the nurse proclaimed, reappearing with my dinner tray.

"Ugh. Do I really have to eat this? You know, the theory is that you're supposed to try to avoid making me vomit, not provoke it."

"But you're going to eat everything, and Kate's going to help me, right?" And Kate nodded as the nurse rolled up her sleeves applied herself to the task of forcing me to eat.

"The truth is, I'm not at all hungry," I told the two of them, who regarded me with pursed lips.

"Yeah, but you have to eat. And I have other patients. Do you mind staying here until he eats everything?" she asked Kate, who looked at me without really knowing how to respond. "Ah! And try not to set off the monitor again, or you'll have to put up with the alarm for a while. I can't just pop back here to stop it right away," and she was off like a shot to distribute dinners to her other patients.

"You don't have to, Kate. There's no need for you to—"

"Stop saying that. I'm here because I want to be."

"Well then, as long as you're here, you could help me eat this crap."

"Oh, sure...no way, that's your job."

"Right, foist off the dirty work on your partner."

"Shut up and start eating."

I ate silently, thinking of the heart rate monitor. It wouldn't trigger the alarm if I just gazed at Kate the whole time, would it? I wanted to stretch out the length of time she kept me company. Being alone just seemed so pathetic, so sad.

"Well, that's enough. I'm already full—"

"Oh no! There's still a few more bites left."

"Hey! I'm not a baby," I protested, with little effect. I was already beginning to feel the calming effects of the injection they'd given me just before Kate arrived.

"Castle, you can barely keep your eyes open, so finish up, and I'll leave you in peace."

"I'm so tired." I set aside the food tray, where half of the food still remained. "Do me a favor?"

"What is it? I'm here to help."

"Please could you stay awhile with me?" I gave her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Only a little while. If you don't fall asleep soon, you're on your own," she threatened me. But just her presence itself was enough to make me feel calmer and more relaxed.

"Okay. I promise to be good," I said lying down. Kate tucked me in a bit and sat in the armchair next to me and turned out the light.

"Go to sleep," she said when she saw I did not close my eyes.


KATE'S POV

I watched him gradually drift off to sleep. I liked seeing him so peaceful. At least the vomiting and dizziness seemed to have subsided a little. I could not even imagine what he had to be going through. It must be a living hell, and yet he retained his composure like a true champion. I was proud to have him as a partner. He was an example to others in the same situation. I had never seen him give in to despair at any time. He just had that one moment of weakness, but that seemed to have passed.

He was sleeping deeply like a little innocent child. I gently ruffled his hair, trying not to wake him. When I pulled my hand away, a few strands of hair came with it. It was something I had not noticed until now, but it must have happening for some days. Ladies' man that he was, so concerned about his appearance … it was clear that, in that respect at least, this illness was going to hit him hard.

Suddenly my phone rang and I picked it up immediately so as not to wake him up. It was the precinct calling about a new case. I needed to make a note but had nothing at hand. Scrabbling through the drawers of the nightstand to see if I could find a paper and pen to write with, I saw a paper sticking out of a book.

"Ryan, I'll call you back later. And send me the information in a text, right now I have nothing to write with."

"Okay, boss."

I found a pen and pulled the paper from the book. It wasn't blank—I saw that it was covered with Castle's handwriting. "Bucket List. The Last Wishes of Richard Castle."

When I realized what it was, I decided to put it right back in place, as if I'd never seen it. But as I was folding it back into the book I saw my own name written on it, and I froze. My curiosity got the better of my common sense .

Bucket List
The Last Wishes of Richard Castle

1. Kiss Kate.
2. Marry her.
3. Have a child with her.
4. Travel the world.
5. Make Captain and run a precinct.
6. Swim naked on the beach.
7. Write a book.
8. Plant a tree.
9. Meet my father.
10. Drive a Ferrari.

I had to read it several times to comprehend it. Did he really want all that? My God, if that was true—I was on his list three times—and right at the top! It couldn't be. How could I fulfill these wishes? How was he going to—?

I had to get out of here, disappear from this place. Leave and hide so that no one would know what was going through my mind ... I put the list back inside the nightstand again, right where I had found it, amongst the pages of that book. I closed the drawer carefully, I grabbed my phone, my purse, my coat, and fled, leaving behind everything I had just seen.

I was so afraid of it all—though, what exactly scared me?

That he wanted to kiss me? That really was not such a difficult wish to fulfill. If I could trust my memory it had already happened—while I was drunk and barely aware of what was going on. I supposed he also meant that he wanted to sleep with me. My brain was so foggy, that I wasn't even sure any more what he was referring to, or what exactly I had read. Maybe it was just a joke.

He wanted to marry me? God! I was engaged to another man. We were talking about wedding dates—even though every day it was becoming more and more clear to me that he wasn't the love of my life. My thoughts were jumbled ... like I was trapped in a maze, running in circles. It stole my breath away.

And all these thoughts were pointless. There was nothing I could do to help him with that.

And to crown it all ... a child! What the hell was Castle thinking?! It was crazy to imagine that any of those wishes could be fulfilled—especially the first three.

I sat in my car and I burst into tears. This man had put all his hopes of life in me, and now I had a dilemma: to do something or not, about the relationship I currently had with him—this man who was apparently crazy in love with me, and who—each and every day— caused me such aggravation.

My head was boiling like a pressure cooker, and I didn't know whether to think that Castle had lost what little sense he had, or if I was the crazy one, to be even thinking about how I might grant those wishes.

Not to mention that he had already said several times that he wanted to stop treatment ... This could not be happening to me ... This was the worst nightmare that had happened to me, since what happened to my mother.

TO BE CONTINUED …


Next chapter on Friday, and meanwhile you know I'm just waiting for your comments! I'm happy that you are enjoying it, and with a slow but steady pace we'll continue with this story—it's truly doing me some good. Thank you all for reading because without you there'd be no point to this.

XXOO

Twitter: tamyalways

translator: Well, how about that? I got this chapter up early, too. I hope to continue this trend, so see you in another 3 days? (I hope.) Thanks to all of you who have commented.