A/N: Sent off a package today for AJ! Can't wait for it to arrive!
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.
It had been so difficult to make himself cross the threshold.
Every step brought new reminders and fresh pain. Reminders that just three days earlier, a little girl had been dancing around the lounge room, singing at the top of her lungs as her brother and father danced and sang with her. Reminders of the little girl who had woken up every morning and excitedly bounded down the stairs in the hopes that that day would be the day her mother came home. Reminders of a little girl who had smiled all the time, whether it was a good day or a bad one.
"I can't do this," Henry whispered from the open door.
Turning around, Will blinked away his tears to see his son standing on the other side of the threshold, tears leaking down his face as he looked into the house that had once been so happy.
Walking back over to his son, Will stopped just short of the door, holding out a hand to his boy. They would do it together. They had to come home.
Before he had a chance to speak, Henry had burst into tears, falling into his father's arms as his emotions finally took hold.
"She's gone, Dad," he sobbed. "Abby's gone"
"I know," Will whispered, clutching his son to his chest as he let his own tears fall. "I know"
Somehow, they both wound up on the floor just inside the door, Henry sobbing into Will's shoulder as Will tried to be strong for his son.
But before too long, Will cracked.
"Mom?"
At the sound of her preteen son's voice, JJ turned in surprise. It was nearly one in the morning and she'd thought that her kids were asleep.
Closing the case file she'd been going over, JJ sat forward, looking up at her son.
"What's the matter, Henry?"
"I don't feel well," Henry replied lamely.
JJ held out a hand to him, smiling as he obliged and sat beside her on the couch. Putting her arm around him, she sighed softly.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with tomorrow being your first day of middle school, would it?"
Henry looked up at her with wide eyes. "No! I-no!"
Brushing his hair out of his eyes, JJ quieted him.
"It's ok, Henry. It's scary starting something new. But you'll be ok," she said warmly.
"I'm not gonna know anyone," Henry said quietly, proving JJ right.
"You'll know Sam, and Dennis...besides, it's a good chance to make new friends," JJ offered. "The first few days will be daunting, but you'll be just fine"
Henry said nothing, simply curling further into his mother's side.
"Love you, Mom," he said quietly, making JJ smile.
"Love you too, Henry"
She was suffocating. That thing was back on her chest. She couldn't expand her lungs enough. The ventilator was only doing so much.
Managing to open her eyes, JJ saw the tired face of her mother sat by her bed. Immediately, she felt a thrill run through her. She could see the real world again. Not like earlier, when she couldn't see Will. That had frightened her.
Sandy smiled, leaning forward and reaching to place a gentle hand at the top of JJ's head.
"There you are," she said softly, lightly stroking JJ's hairline with her thumb.
Lifting her hand with more ease than last time, JJ actually managed a light swat at her chest, her eyes drifting closed again as she did so.
'No, come on Jareau...stay awake,' she thought, forcing her eyes open once more.
"What's the matter, my girl?" Sandy asked quietly, sensing JJ's anxiety as she took her daughter's hand in her free one.
'I feel like I can't breathe,' JJ thought, wishing she could just say it. 'Oh please let an alarm go off, something...something isn't right'
Her chest was hurting. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to take a deep breath in unison with the ventilator, but it was too hard. She felt like she was suffocating. The pain was radiating down into her abdomen. Like the time she got held down by a dumper wave at the beach.
If only she could communicate that.
'Relax JJ...everything will be ok,' she tried to tell herself.
But her thoughts only brought more tears. How could everything be ok when she'd lost her sweet little Abigail? Nothing would ever be ok without her precious baby girl.
And then she was being pulled back into a slumber, drowsiness begging her attention as she let her eyes fall closed once more.
'Mom...please help me,' she silently begged, tears leaking from beneath her lashes. 'Please'
"Hey...," her mom said softly, continuing the comforting circles with her thumb. "It's ok, Jen...you're ok"
'I just want to feel normal again'
