Thanks to dowlingnana
Violence isn't always evil. What's evil in the infatuation with violence?
- Jim Morrison, musician
Monday, April 21, 2008
10:45 a.m. – Forks Community Center
Alice was glad to see that Emmett had convinced Jasper to return to the therapy session. In fact, she was even happier to see Jasper back in the circle than she had been to see Tia escort Doug out of the room and march him up to his parents to explain his behavior. Alice hoped the Meckler's would discipline their son for his behavior, but since he had been getting away with it for so long she doubted Doug's parents would see anything wrong with their son's outburst.
"You okay?" Alice mouthed to Jasper as he sat down. He seemed a little surprised that she cared, but nodded as a response. Alice shot him a big grin and he had to look away so she wouldn't see him blushing.
"Glad to have you back, Jasper," Tia said to him comfortingly.
"Yeah, sorry," he said quietly.
"How about we resume our exercise?" Tia asked, getting up and going over to the whiteboard and picking up a stray blue marker. "Whitney, how would you describe your experience in one word?"
"Uh… confused?" Whitney shrugged. Tia nodded and wrote the word on the board.
"Dean?" Tia asked.
"I'd say confused too," Dean shrugged.
"Anything else," Tia prompted, tapping her marker against the whiteboard.
"No," Dean shook his head.
"Logan?" Tia asked.
"Angry, I guess," Logan said. Tia nodded and wrote the word on the board before turning to Ben Cheney.
"Frustrated," Ben said. Tia nodded, writing the word and then moved to Angela.
"Scared," Angela replied softly.
"Uh… all of those things," Alec shrugged. He didn't seem like he had been paying attention.
"Numb," Edward admitted.
"Nervous," Bella said.
"Hurting," Alice said.
"Hopeless," Rose sighed.
"Pissed off," Emmett said. "I mean, I know that's two words…"
"So angry" Tia prompted?
"No. I mean pissed off," Emmett shrugged. Tia sighed and wrote it on the board.
"Jasper" Tia asked. He had thought hard while everyone else was speaking, trying to find just one word that described how he felt. It was hard to put a name on the emotions inside of him.
"Alone," he said finally.
"Alright," Tia nodded. "I'm going to write a few more words on the board, too." Half-interestedly Jasper watched as she scrawled things like "helpless" "fear," "insecure" and a myriad of others.
"I'm sure at one point or another during this tragedy you have all experienced a variety of these emotions," Tia said. "I want you all to know that is okay and perfectly normal. I am also sure you have a lot of questions about this, why it happened, and how to deal with it. Unfortunately, some of those questions about why this happened will never be fully answered, but we have to do our best to understand, process and then learn the appropriate tools to move on with our lives. I can't promise things will ever be 'normal' or the way they were before, but our main goal is to find a new 'normal,' to figure out how to live with the things you have experienced."
Tia walked over to the table on the other side of the room and picked up a stack of composition notebooks. A few of the guys in the room groaned though Bella Swan seemed oddly interested in what the notebooks were for. Tia began handing out the notebooks to everyone in the circle.
"Writing can be great therapy," Tia said. "I want you each to put your name on your notebook and I'm going to give you a writing assignment for when you go home. We are going to meet again this time on Thursday. I want you all to write about the emotions you've felt during this past week and why you think you're feeling them. If you don't know why you're feeling a particular emotion, you can just write 'I don't know.' I think this exercise will help you all sort out how you are feeling a little better. If there is anything else you would like to write about your experience, you can feel free to do that is well."
"Will we have to share what we write with everyone?" Angela asked worriedly.
"Not unless you want to," Tia said, "though you might find sharing how you feel is helpful. Alright, well, I hope to see you all back here this time Thursday." The group rose to exit out of the classroom and Jasper had almost left when Tia called his name.
"Could I talk to you a minute," Tia asked. Jasper grimaced not knowing what to expect.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"I know this has been especially hard for you," Tia said. "I am sorry for the way Doug behaved, and I know what you said was a reaction to him…"
"I'm… not in trouble or something, am I?" Jasper asked concerned.
"No," Tia reassured him, "but I think you knew Mr. Hunter much better than anyone else, and I know that is going to be tough for you to deal with. I seriously think you should consider seeking out one of our professionals to help you cope with this situation. I also think that some of your fellow classmates – like Doug for example – are looking for someone to blame and might rest that blame on your shoulders because you were the only person close with Jimmy who survived. I wish I could tell you this won't be a difficult road, but I can't. I just want to make sure you have a healthy support network."
"Have my parents been talking to you?" Jasper grimaced.
"No," Tia laughed, "but maybe it would help if you talked to them. In fact, it might help them more than you."
"I'll think about it," Jasper shrugged.
"If you need anything, let me know," Tia nodded. Jasper turned and walked out the door to find Emmett waiting for him.
"She give you detention or something?" Emmett asked worriedly.
"I don't think state-appointed counselors can do that," Jasper said. "She just wanted to make sure… I guess that I won't go postal over what Doug said or anything."
"He's a turd nugget," Emmett shrugged. "Always has been. Guy shit in Jessica Stanley's pool during her birthday party in eighth grade and tried to blame it on her dog."
"Gross," Jasper grimaced.
"So? Whatcha doing after this," Emmett asked.
"Dunno," Jasper said "Waiting for my folks to get out. Where did everyone else go?"
"Rose said she was going to visit Mrs. Cope and Angela is going with her and Ben is going too because I think he likes Angela," Emmett said. "Alice had to go find her sister and Edward and Bella are waiting on their folks upstairs."
"Okay," Jasper sighed. "Good. I'm just not sure I want to face anyone after… today…"
"I get it," Emmett said. "So… see you Thursday, I guess?"
"Yeah," Jasper nodded before going to find his parents. He really just wanted to get out of there.
12:30 p.m. – Forks Community Hospital
"She looks…"
Angela Webber had always been taught not to say anything if she couldn't say something nice. She also, as a minister's daughter, had her fair share of practice when it came to helping comfort people at their worst. However, looking at Mrs. Cope in the hospital bed left her without anything to say. To be perfectly honest, Angela would have thought Mrs. Cope was dead if it weren't for all of the beeping monitors set up around her. It was hard to reconcile the sweet, smiling secretary with the candy dish and the cheerful woman who sang alto in the church's choir with the lifeless body in the hospital bed before her.
"What are the doctor's saying" Ben Cheney asked Rose, helping recover the awkward silence after Angela trailed off.
"Little change," Rose admitted. "They are trying to remain positive that she comes through, but as every day goes on… And she has no family, so it's pretty much me and the other hospital staff keeping her company."
"No family?" Angela asked surprised.
"Her ex-husband ran off with some skank, and they can't find him," Rose said. "She has no living relatives in the area and last I heard Dr. Cullen was trying to track down the phone number of one of her second cousin's kids or something. But he doesn't know if it's the same person or if they'll even respond… I hate that she's all alone."
"So… what do you do when you come visit her?" Angela asked curiously.
"Read to her mostly," Rose said. "If I finish my book I'll talk to her about my day and about what's going on in the world… nice stuff… Like I'll tell her if there are new babies in the nursery or funny things I read in the newspaper. I try to keep it positive. Dr. Cullen said staying positive is encouraging and will help her recover."
"Has anyone else come to visit her?" Angela asked worriedly.
"Just me and the hospital staff," Rose shrugged. Angela bit her lip. She didn't know why her father hadn't come to see Mrs. Cope.
"Has your dad been busy with all of the… you know..." Ben asked Angela curiously.
"Services, yeah," Angela sighed. "I've never seen the church so packed as it was last Sunday. It's like people woke up and felt the need to come."
"Or they're feeling guilty and are looking for something to cling to," Rose snorted. Angela looked at Rose for a moment. She realized Rose and her family were not frequent visitors to the pews at Forks Lutheran. In fact, Angela didn't know if she had ever seen Rose in church. Of course, she doubted it was the appropriate time to try to convert Rose.
"Mrs. Cope sings in our choir," Angela said. "I'm sure a lot of people at church miss her."
"None of them have come to visit her," Rose pointed out. "Maybe you should tell your dad to get his flock to practice what they preach."
Angela bit her lip. Her parents had talked about how much violence had crept into the school system since compulsory school prayer and morning Bible readings had been removed from the school curriculum to make things "politically correct." It struck Angela as odd that no one from their tight-knit, conservative church had even thought to come and visit Mrs. Cope. They had gone to all of the funerals and made a big deal out of mourning kids like Royce and Vicky. However, there had been a notable absence at Dr. Banner's funeral. She knew her father and Dr. Banner had come to heads when Dr. Banner refused to let Angela opt out of the evolutionary theory portion of the class on religious grounds. Angela didn't want to take a zero because her father had religious objections, and though she would never tell her parents, Darwin's ideas had piqued an interest in science Angela had never felt before.
"So... do you like working here?" Ben asked Rose, hoping to diffuse the situation.
"Most of the time," Rose said. "I want to go into something with medicine, so this is great practice. Not to mention most of the patients are really nice people."
"Well, I've got to head out," Ben said. "I have to pick my little brother up from soccer practice. Could I… give you a ride home?"
"Sure," Angela grinned.
Rose tried not to judge as the two of them walked off, but she couldn't help but feel the rose-tinted glasses Angela viewed the world through had seriously inhibited her from seeing the sometimes awful truth about the world. Walking forward, Rose gave Mrs. Cope's hand a squeeze and then settled down into the chair beside the bed to read.
1:06 p.m. – Swan Residence
Charlie Swan had taken his wife and daughter home after the counseling session and then indulged himself in a lunch at home before he started to get ready to head back into the office. It was nice to spend some time with his girls. They were welcome relief from the piles of paperwork, straining investigation, and horde of other law enforcement that were crowding his precinct. Renee hadn't spoken much during the adult counseling session. Beyond discussing their feelings and fears about their kids, not much had been talked about anyway. However, Charlie was a little comforted that he wasn't the only father who had checked on his child at night or had nightmares about when the school would be reopened. Best of all, several of the parents had let him know they felt he had done a good job handling the situation, which Charlie had begun to doubt from the beginning and struggled with even more after being verbally attacked by Eleanor Katz.
"Will you be home for supper?" Renee asked curiously as Charlie hitched on his belt with all of his equipment.
"I probably won't be back until before seven," he admitted.
"Bella and I can wait for you," Renee said. "I was thinking of making chili. I know it's a little warm out but…"
"I love your chili," Charlie reminded her. Renee smiled in spite of herself.
"Alright," she nodded.
"You and Bells take care while I'm gone," Charlie instructed.
"We always do," Renee smiled. Charlie was about to lean over and kiss his wife goodbye when his phone rang. He picked up it and Renee listened curiously.
"Chief here," he said. "Oh? What happened?... Did they say when?... Alright… yeah… I'm sure they'll be all over it… Be in the office in five."
"What happened?" Renee asked worriedly as Charlie's face sagged.
"The Newton kid," Charlie sighed: "Developed a brain clot in his brain this morning. It burst. Parents had him on life support but… the doctor's pronounced him dead about thirty minutes ago."
"Oh, poor Cindy," Renee sighed.
"They've still got two other kids in the hospital there in Seattle," Charlie said. "One hasn't woken up yet and the other seems pretty brain damaged… I just…"
"You did the best you could, Charlie," Renee reassured him. "You did all you could do."
"Sometimes I think all I can do isn't enough," Charlie sighed. Renee bit her lip.
"We aren't talking about the Newton boy any more, are we?" Renee sighed.
"I don't know," Charlie admitted.
"What I did… it isn't your fault, Charlie," Renee shook her head.
"You said you didn't feel wanted," Charlie reminded her, "that you didn't feel important."
"I was feeling selfish," Renee sighed. "You work hard for this entire town. You put your life on the line, and until now… until now I don't think I realized how stressful your job really is. Here I was thinking you were just piddling around on your desk late at night instead of coming home… that maybe you didn't want to come home to me. I was so wrong, Charlie. We've been married twenty years and during that time all you've done is work your ass off to provide for Bella and me, and in one moment of self-absorption I lost sight of that and nearly destroyed everything we've built."
"I wish you had come to me first," Charlie admitted.
"I was afraid," Renee shrugged. "I thought you would think I was silly… or be mad at me or… I don't know… I didn't know if you would understand…"
"We've been married twenty years, Renee," Charlie shook his head. "By now you should know you can trust me with anything."
"You're right," Renee admitted. "To tell the truth, the only reason I was attracted to Phil is because he sort of reminded me of you when you were younger… He was sweet and made me feel beautiful about myself… First he would just flirt with me and then… I don't know. It just felt nice to feel like someone thought I was attractive; someone was interested in me… It was just sex to him, Charlie, and the fact that he had no qualms going after a woman he knew was married… well, that should have told me what kind of guy he was… I was a challenge to him, Charlie… a notch. And afterwards… afterwards I felt even less special and important than before." Renee was sobbing by now. "And by then… by then I realized how special I really was to you and I felt horrible… Seriously, I must be the worst wife on the planet…"
"Nah," Charlie shook his head. "I'm sure Eleanor Katz probably held that title before she was divorced."
"I'm going to fix this, Charlie," Renee assured him. "I'm going to build us back. I don't know how yet but today… seeing all those people tell you how much your work meant to them… I should be your number one fan, but I've been too focused on myself… too worried about getting old and fat…"
"Renee, you're thinner now than when we got married," Charlie pointed out. "Besides, that doesn't matter. All I want, Renee… all I've ever wanted from you… is just to come home and see you there… to sleep beside you each night and wake up next to you every morning. You'll always be my girl."
"I know," Renee sniffled. "But I'm going to make this up to you. I want our marriage to work. I promised you until we were old and gray and I intend to keep it."
"Well, you can start by making my favorite chili," Charlie grinned. His kissed his wife firmly and promised himself to start reminding Renee how special she was. Though Renee said it was her fault, Charlie had to admit he been borderline neglectful with their marriage, taking for granted a lot of what his wife did for him and how hard she had worked to give him a relaxing home life away from the stress at work. "I'll see you tonight. Love you."
"I love you too," Renee nodded. She watched in silence as her husband walked out of the house, got into his vehicle and then drove off before slowly turning to get things together for supper.
In the past week, Renee had lost her sense of security about the town of Forks and her daughter's school. She had lost the belief that her family was safe. The one thing she wasn't going to lose was her marriage.
End Note:
Mike Newton's death is caused by a cerebral embolism, also known as an embolic stroke, which occurs when a blood clot forms in the brain due to bleeding between the skull and the brain. The clot puts pressure on brain tissue and it can sometimes be difficult to find these clots in time to treat them depending on the size and location of the clot.
Though a lot of people feel the lack of religion in school is the reason for the increase in school shootings, several studies have shown school shootings typically occur in more conservative areas, often with many churches. Many times, school shooters are from religious homes or backgrounds. Both of the Columbine shooters came from conservative Christian homes. Mitchell Johnson, the Westside Middle School shooter, was very active in his church's youth group and choir.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 1962 that school prayer, mandated Bible reading and other school funded religious activities were in violation of the First Amendment's Establishment Clause, which states "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion."
There were 68 recorded school shootings or bombings in America between 1776 and 1962, or roughly one shooting every two years. School attendance was made compulsory in all U.S. states in 1918 and the number of school shootings began to rise yearly starting in the 1920s.
