Doing this, Olivia realized, was dangerous. Very dangerous. Even though Charlotte would never remember this particular encounter, it was dangerous. Somehow, her mother's voice was echoing in her head.
Stupid child….stupid Olivia, should've known better…
Yup, her mother's voice, loud and clear, coming in just fine from the wavelengths of the dead and buried. And Serena was right. It was a stupid idea, letting Elliot into her apartment. Her witnessing this Hallmark moment was stupid, too. But still, it felt very right, handing Charlotte off to the person whom Olivia had trusted with her life for the better part of a decade.
"It's her bedtime," she murmured quietly, breaking the spell that had come over the three of them for the past few minutes. "I need to change her and put her down and then, if you're still here, we'll talk."
XXXXX
Charlotte Sophia Benson, or Stabler, as Elliot saw it in his mind, was perfect. No doubts about it. She was content, smiling, and beautiful; a perfect blend of what Elliot liked best about both himself and Olivia. He wouldn't ever want to cross the little girl when she got older, given the likelihood of a temper, but she had Olivia's easy nature and mouth that was easy to pull into a trademark Stabler smile.
His time with Charlotte was cut short when Olivia whisked her off to bed, letting Elliot collect his thoughts and work on what he was going to say. Once his nerves had calmed down he ventured down the hallway where Olivia and Charlotte had disappeared and he caught sight of a beautiful baby's room, done in green and yellow shades. Olivia was rocking softly in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, singing a lullaby to the droopy-eyed baby. After a few moments of listening in, it dawned on him that the lullaby was in French and Elliot was surprised at how easily Olivia sung the words.
He watched as Olivia finished up with her song and tucked in the sleeping baby. He saw her smooth her hand over the fuzz covering Charlotte's head and pull the wooly blanket over the tiny body.
"Goodnight, Charlotte, sweet dreams. Mama and daddy love you very much," he heard her whisper, and he found himself nodding in agreement.
XXXXX
It came as no surprise that after Olivia was finished tucking in Charlotte Elliot was there, watching. She turned and met his gaze for a quick second, knowing he had heard her special goodnight to Charlotte, and brushed past him back into the family room, settling down with her now-cold cup of tea.
"When do you go back to California?" she asked quietly, staring at the tea dregs instead of looking at him as he sat down in front of her.
"I'm not," he answered softly. "I'm back in New York City to stay."
"What about Kathy? The kids?"
"I'm divorced, Liv. The kids will fly out and see me during the summer and for the holidays. I decided that it was more important to be here," he said, and that got her attention.
"You're so full of it, Elliot," she muttered.
"I made a mistake. I should never have moved to California. I should've…"
"What, Elliot?" Olivia snapped.
"I should've been here for you."
"Been here for me? For what? For my pregnancy? I didn't need you, Elliot. I've never needed you. You offered to be a baby daddy, not a pregnancy partner. You left when the going got a little rough and I was just fine without you," she retorted.
"You know as well as I do I never would've been just a sperm donation, Olivia. I would've helped you."
"But you didn't. You hated that I had done the one thing you couldn't do, you hated it so much you couldn't stand it."
"What was that, Olivia?" asked Elliot angrily.
"I put family before the job, El. I finally managed to get my head out of my ass and do something right and try and make a family, and when that became more important then the job you bailed."
The silence between them was deafening for a long moment before a small cry was heard and Olivia rushed away.
XXXXX
I'm baaack!! Miss me? I know, living without TMINT is just too hard. I kept writing it in my head, so give me lots of reviews and you get more! As always, not mine, reviews make me deliriously happy, etc.
