Chapter 12 ~ What is wrong and what is right?

Kabuto´s P.O.V

No! No, don´t let it happen!

A voice in my mind yelled the whole time as Masami´s and my lips made slightly contact, but I couldn´t back up, not again. My eyes were open, since I couldn´t find myself enjoying this closeness between us and wished this moment, this kiss, to end soon. A sudden knock on the door made her pull away again and she glanced a bit angered towards the door, while she then said:

"Come in."

As the door went open, walked Orochimaru into the room and as he saw us together, a smirk appeared on his lips.

"I´m sorry my dear, I didn´t want to interrupt you with whatever you were doing, I wanted to talk to your fiancé, but I assume you already did that…"

"Yes father."

Telling us a good night, Orochimaru left again and Masami turned back to me with a smile.

"You see, this wasn´t so bad…"

I forced myself to smile and nodded, but my heart was aching badly and an uneasy feeling went through my body. The fact that I shared a kiss with a girl I barely liked made me feel bad, especially since it seemed like she felt something towards me. I´m a terrible person…

Fortunately, she went away shortly after her father, so that I finally had my peace again and could think about my dilemma in silence. I imagined how things would be when Masami and I would be married, when she would await from me that I´d make children with her and how terrible this would be for me. Also I thought about the fact that Chiasa would still be there, always by my side and remembering me that there existed a woman I really loved, but couldn´t tell her nor show her that I did. I wish I never came here! I´m so stupid, I should´ve known that marrying a stranger was a bad idea, but I thought things would be better here and in the end everything became even more complicated…

A bit later my tiredness overwhelmed me and I drifted into a deep sleep, but woke quiet early in the morning up again. The sun was already shining, so that I decided to go outside, not into the garden but into the Forest, where I would be alone for the day. Quickly I took a simple black sleeveless shirt on, black pants and my burgundy cloak, and went then silently out of the Castle and into the Forest. The air outside was still a bit chilly, since it was early that day, but I didn´t mind and enjoyed the fresh wind as well as the lightly warm sun beams.

The time went by pretty fast while I wandered around the woods and found myself then at that Lake again, where I first met Chiasa. I couldn´t help but to smile when I thought about our first encounter, how I fell into that lake and how surprised I was when I realized that she didn´t fear me because of my appearance.

Being lost in my thoughts, I was a bit terrified as I suddenly felt something wet on me, and looked then up to the sky, where some dark clouds had appeared. Within a second it started raining, so that I decided that I´d go into the cave which laid behind the waterfall until it´d stop again. So after I made it inside, I sat sighing down on the stony ground, as suddenly something else came into my mind. Right, Mother is coming as well in a few days. I wonder what she´ll say about my Engagement…

A bit later, while I leaned on the wall with my eyes closed, I heard all of a sudden steps echoing through the cavity and opened my eyes to see who it was, but was rather surprised as my eyes caught sight of a soaking wet blonde, who shivered all over her body.

"Chiasa?"

I asked while I walked towards her and as she seemed to recognize me as well, she smiled lightly.

"I finally found you…"

A bit bewildered I asked:

"You were looking for me?"

"Yes, Lady Masami send me to look for you, since you were nowhere to be found at the Castle…"

"I see…"

The water was dripping down from her clothes and her hair on the ground, while she seemed to be very cold. Without any hesitation I took my cloak off and held it towards her, with my cheeks slightly blushed.

"Here, before you catch a cold…"

She tilted her head and asked:

"Are you sure? I mean aren´t you cold as well?"

Of course it was way colder without my cloak, but I just smiled lightly and shook my head.

"Unlike you I´m still dry, so it´s no big deal…"

Smiling brightly she accepted it and took it then on, though it was maybe a bit illogical with her wet clothes still underneath. Well, but she can´t take them off now…

We sat then beside each other on the ground, silence filling the room for a whole while, until she suddenly asked:

"Why are you here by the way?"

"I wanted to take a walk and well, the rain surprised me so I decided to wait until it´d stop…"

Nodding she suddenly had to sneeze, what sounded more than cute and again appeared a smile on my face. She then started slightly shivering and, without thinking, I laid my arm around her, while pressing her on me. With a perplex expression she looked up to me and asked:

"What are you doing?"

Stuttering I replied:

"W- Well, I thought you were cold, s- so I thought I could share my body heat with you…"

"Don´t you think Lady Masami will be mad at you if she´d see you here like this with another woman?"

Sighing I nodded lightly, but didn´t let go of her, since holding her like this felt quiet well. She still looked at me with confusion in her eyes and I asked suddenly:

"Are you in love with someone?"

I felt how her body became a bit stiff at my question, and she freed herself from my arm to get a better look at me. Her blue orbs gazed into my golden ones, while she responded silently:

"I guess I´m not, but why do you ask?"

A bit nervous I glanced to the ground and said:

"It´s because I- I-"

I knew it would be wrong to tell her about my feelings, it was probably the worst thing I could do, but then on the other hand thought a part inside of me that this would be the right thing to do. I´m so confused! What is wrong and what is right?!

Chiasa was still awaiting an answer, while I cupped her cheeks all of a sudden, obviously to her surprise as well as to mine. As I brought my face just inches away from hers, I saw how her eyes widened in shock, but I just whispered:

"I- I can´t control it anymore…"

With this statement I closed the gap between our lips and kissed her softly, while my heart was pounding faster and faster. It feels so good…

All of a sudden I felt how Chiasa pushed me forcefully away from her and as I looked into her eyes, I saw shock and anger inside of them. Before I could say anything to explain myself, she had already slapped me hard across the face and I held perplex my cheek, speechless. She stood then up, took my cloak quickly off and yelled:

"You Bastard!"

Shocked I noticed tears running down her face, but she then just ran outside the cave, while I was still sitting on the ground, a feeling of despair growing inside of me. Oh god, what have I done…