Soothing Cold
Chapter 12
BPOV
My hands lie limp in my lap, one cupping the other and fingers curled slightly toward my palms. Eyes downcast at them, shoulders slumped but relaxed, staring, staring- given up.
My fingers twitch as Charlie's voice once again rises over the phone. His hand comes down flat on the countertop, loud but not destructive.
I glance up from my hands, taking in my father's agitated state from my hiding spot at the bottom of the stairs. I've never seen him so angry, so furious before. I barely managed to keep him from immediately calling Rene.
My hands clench into fists as he continues arguing.
"No, I already told you, she doesn't want to come in-... screw procedure-... I don't care, he lived in her house!-"
I stand as his voice turns hushed, becoming a harsh whisper hissed into the mouthpiece.
The bottom step creaks as I shuffle to the front door, snatching my key from the hook as I pass.
"Bella?" Dad asks as I open the door, pulling it closed behind me.
The truck starts up with a roar, and I meet Charlie's eyes briefly as he appears in the doorway, before I pull out of the driveway.
My body seems to sag in relief as I pass the sign welcoming me to the reservation.
I did want to see Rose; she was my first thought leaving the house, but it's late. Besides, I don't want to talk or stew about what might happen now, I just want to forget for a bit- pretend like I'm the same person as I was before.
I turn off the deafening roar of my truck and climb out, sliding as I go in the gravel rocks. When I finally plant my feet, I stare out over the calm grey waters, sloshing lazily against the shore.
This beach used to be occupied by me nearly every day of summer when I still used to visit. Rain or shine I would be out here with my brothers, running and tackling each other into the waves.
I turn away from the ocean scene and start my way along the familiar path which I've walked a million times. When I reach the dark Black house, long past when normal people would be in bed, I circle around the back, squeezing my way between the overgrown bushes.
Hesitating now, I push past my moment of doubt and softly wrap my knuckles against the windowpane.
Jacob shifts a bit in bed, stills, before sitting up and squinting out the window. He glances at his clock before leaping out of bed and throwing the window open.
"Bella? What are you doing here?"
"Is Wolf up for that adventure?"
I watch as a smile blooms on his face and a familiar excitement shines through as he clumsily shuffles for his shoes and jams them on his feet.
"Of course, Coon. Now scoot back."
I hastily scramble out of the bush as he boosts himself onto the windowsill and expertly slides out with the ease of someone having done it a hundred times before.
"We picking up Rat and Owl?" He asks as he leads the way to his teetering garage. His father would never be able to make it down here anymore in his wheelchair.
"Yup."
He flicks on the dingy light and shuffles around a bit before emerging with two old bikes. He passes me my old one, that I used to keep here, over with a grin as he clambers onto his own bicycle.
It takes a few moments, several struggling pushes on the peddles for the gears to start working like their supposed to, and we're finally bumping along on the uneven road. First we pick up Quil, then Embry- both eager to go on an adventure as they masterfully escape through their windows. Their own rattling bikes kick up dirt and rocks as we all exchange secretive smiles and make obscure gestures with our hands that we all somehow know the meanings to.
As we wiz past another familiar house, I slam my pedals back, putting the breaks on hard. The old bike skids before coming to a stop and I look up hesitantly at the dark windows.
My old friends stop as well when they realize that I'm no longer with them, and look at me questioningly.
"Let's get Leah too," I say. My voice at a normal volume carries easily over to them.
Embry scowls. "She hasn't wanted to hang out with us since she started high school."
"It doesn't hurt to try," I shrug, laying my bike down in the middle of the road and dashing around to the back of the house.
The vines twisting and crawling their way to the window have only grown thicker over the years, making it even easier to scale up the side of the house. With a shaking arm keeping me from falling, I use the other to rap my knuckles quickly on the glass before returning it to the natural handhold.
After almost a full minute, the curtains are yanked to the side, and a young woman squints out at me. Her face twists into recognition- then confusion before she yanks the window open.
"Bella? Bella Swan?"
I crack a nervous smile, adjusting my grip on the slick vines.
"Hey, Lee-lee, how's it hanging?"
"Bella, what are you doing here?"
"You up for an adventure like old times, Fox?"
She stares blankly at a minute, then turns her head slowly in the direction of her door, just a dark shadow against the far wall.
"Bella..."
She's shaking her head as she turns back to me.
"Come on, Fox," I press, readjusting my grip.
"You're crazy." But she's jamming her feet into shoes and booting herself up on the windowsill.
Grinning victoriously, I carefully maneuver my way down the vines- feeling very great relief when my feet come into contact with solid ground. Leah is just behind me, moving much faster with sure and expert hands.
"Well," she says after landing softly just beside me, "let's go then, Coon."
I'm grinning by the time we make it back to the rode and the guys seem truly surprised when the lost member comes speeding out behind me.
"Welcome back," Embry calls.
"Yeah you sure you want to hang out with us lowly eighth graders?"
Leah rolls her eyes at the light teasing that subtly expresses some hurt feelings. "Shut up," she responds.
Without another word we peddle in rattling silence until we make it to the woods bordering the beach. One by one, everyone disappears into the foliage and as I follow after, I immediately leap from my bike as soon as the leaves pass my shoulders. The others have already laid their bikes down by the time I dismount in this little shelter from the road, and I walk it to lean against the tree that provides us this barrier.
This spot is the center of all our schemes and adventures. From here, we go on foot.
"So where are we headed?" Leah question, picking a spiderweb from her face.
"The cove," Jacob answers for me, and Quil gives a little "whoop!"
"Oh, I'd almost forgot about that place..."
"Let's go!" Embry gives an excited hop before taking off into the trees and we are forced to follow or be left behind.
Old memories tickle at the edges of my mind, of doing this a hundred times, sneaking out, getting caught, doing it again. Running through the trees with my honorary brothers of mischief.
It was so long ago I can hardly remember that person. But I try to dredge her up now as I stumble through the dark, following the familiar paths that are invisible to anyone who hadn't learnt them intimately.
We reach the cliff within minutes and I take lead walking along the edge until I find the rotting rope tucked into a groove hidden in the cliff-face.
I shimmy down the rock wall until I reach the narrow path that gradually slopes downward until I reach the vegetation that blocks my view of the cove.
The scraping sound behind me alerts me to someone else scrambling down the trail, so I shove the leaves to the side and step out.
It's a very secluded spot, impossible to get to without knowing the path or having rock climbing equipment.
Cliff-face rises up all around creating a dome of rock. In the center is a little lake of ocean water, filtered by some underground tunnel. Right now, a path about two people wide walks all the way around water's edge, though in heavy rains that ledge completely disappears as the cove floods. Nestled along the back wall is the mouth of a cavern that floods when the cove does.
Seeing that it's not overrun with water, I make my way to the cave entrance and immediately start to work on the fire.
The old fire pit is long washed away, but old water-logged wood that has had time to dry out is littered along the stone floor and it only takes a little bit of rearranging to reconstruct the stones back into a proper pit.
By this time, the rest of my childhood friends have joined me, arms laden with collected branches from along the path down.
It takes only about 15 minutes to get a fire going, and by that time, I've completely let go of my more recent problems. I can almost believe it's like back when I was younger.
Except this place is colder than I remember, and darker, and my brothers in mischief around me are strangers now, some even to each other.
"So why did you stop visiting?" Leah breaks the silence, directing all the attention to me.
I fiddle with a stick nervously, poking at the slowly growing flames. Eventually, I shrug.
"Well why now? Why come back now?"
I hesitate a moment, then feeling just an overwhelming tiredness, I shove my sleeves up to my elbows and turn my arms over.
"Because I tried to kill myself, so Rene sent me to live with dad."
Jacob sucks is a sharp breath.
The fire flicks between an orange and blue glow, casting deep shadows on the walls and over my exposed skin. The light makes the scars look angry again, like it has only been weeks rather than several months since I first placed the blade to my wrist with the intent of dying.
I'm very glad I didn't. I wouldn't have met Rosalie and Emmett or Alice or any of the Cullens.
Embry's voice comes small and hesitant from his spot across from me.
"Why?"
I shrug and yank my sleeves back down self consciously, crossing my arms over my knees.
With another hesitation, I slowly open my mouth.
"Someone was hurting me, and I couldn't handle it anymore. So, I tried to stop the hurt."
It's quite a moment. Then-
"Well that was stupid."
"Leah!"
I snort at my old friend's comment, ignoring Jacob's scandalized outrage.
"What?" She scoffs defensively, "there are better ways to stop someone from hurting you other than trying to off yourself."
"Yeah..." I agree. "You're probably right... maybe."
I pick up my stick again and add it to the fire, watching it climb higher as it reaches towards the top of the cave.
"Anyway, I'm away from Him now... For now."
Silence falls around the dark cavern, and the sound of distant waves crashing against rock provide a filler.
"So, Sam..." I broach hesitantly. "I hear he's your boyfriend?"
A soft smile comes to Leah's face and she bites he lip. "Yeah, um, he's really great."
"You like him?" I inquire even as she blushes.
Before she can respond, there is a gaging sound across the fire.
"Ugh, gross! When did you become such a girl?" Quil teases.
I roll my eyes, and in doing so, something catches my interest along the walls.
"Oh, I forgot about those," I breathe, drawing attention to farther into the cave.
I stand slowly, plucking a log carefully out of the fire and bringing it closer to the wall.
"Oh yeah," Jake responds, leaning back on his elbows.
The flame throws the wall into graphic images of old faded drawings smeared with colors of red.
Grotesque images of people being slaughtered, the ground soaked with blood and red eye beings sucking the life out of the Quileutes. Blood soaks the depicted ground, smeared with vibrant but faded colors of red.
Farther along the wall giant wolves can be seen ripping the heads off of the red eyed monsters- the monsters I know to be vampires from the old myths of the people.
When we were younger, we liked to believe we were the first people to ever find this place, but we knew because of the drawings on the cave walls that this place is just more than likely forgotten. The entire history of the Quileutes is painted out on these walls.
Looking at them now, I feel the significance of them just as much as I had when I was younger.
The old myths come back to me now as I move along the wall taking in the scenes of gore and death, until I come along to the final picture I used to just stare at forever.
I freeze as I come to it, suddenly growing alarmingly cold as I look into the depiction of just two large golden eyes that stare back at me.
A/N: Haha, so wow has it been a while. I'm kind of having trouble figuring out what to right... Any suggestions? I know what I want to happen, I'm just having trouble getting to that point. Only a few chapters left now.
Thanks so much for reading and if there is a scene you really want to see, let me know. Please review!
~Silver~
