Varric stared at his hands and laughed. A good look at his clothes showed Adalon's powerful magic was enough to fool even the wises of drow. Dark colored leather armor and a spider motif took the place of his scarlet silk tunic and leather duster. He'd seen his reflection in a mirror in the Ust Natha tavern. His own strong featured face, blond hair and tawny eyes had been replaced with the slender, finely boned visage of a dark elf; ebony skin and snow-white hair, dark red eyes. The only way he knew it was himself was when he was sure no one was looking, his mouth twitched into a devilish smile.
That smile had drawn the attention of many a lovely lass on the surface world, but the female drow were not taken by charms. They lusted after power in all things, including -especially- mates. Knowing that the illusion would probably not work during intimacy (height difference...), Varric (calling himself Veldrin at Adalon's suggestion), with great reluctance, had to decline when one of those dark beauties offered to take him in the lust chambers. The drow woman was greatly insulted, taking this rejection as an affront to her sexual prowess, and were it not for an untimely intervention by 'Imrith' she would have surely sent him to be flogged by the Handmaidens of Lolth. Imoen, the quick thinking little imp she was, had been too eager to strike him for wandering off and all but called the other woman out to the fighting pit for trying to bed 'her' male. She and Nalia (or Nathrae) took turns treating him like less than garbage as was the norm in Lolth-worshipping drow settlements. Varric immediately started to regret his little idea as soon as he learned this.
The bitter ale served in the tavern did not make this mission any easier. He remembered dwarven ale was made from mushrooms too but it didn't taste like...like ass and despair. He stared into his mug. They'd rescued some important drow gal named Phaere and Phaere suddenly thought Varric's little power trio was just neato. She was up to something, Nalia pointed out. All drow were constantly plotting and scheming and planning to have each other killed. Joy. When can we leave? He recalled Essa, Jaheira and Sir Keldorn warning him about all these things and to be sure to keep Nalia and Imoen safe. Imoen, Maker bless her, was savvy enough to adapt to the ruse and Nalia mostly let her do the talking. He dearly wished the illusion cast on them included a masterful poker face. It was hard sometimes to hide his quiet panic when one of the drow spoke to him. It was also difficult for Imoen to repress her mirth. Varric felt bad for her, and felt even worse than he had ripped her away from Essa after they'd fought so long to be reunited.
This Phare, this daughter of a Matron Mother (does she shop in the department of redundancy department?) had given them a three day break. Finally. Her tasks were always incredibly dangerous and urgent. They had been only given a small frame of time in which to report to the designated area, complete the task and return. What was she in such a big hurry about? With only the magical fires to indicate the time, Varric was unsure if they'd been in Ust Natha for hours, days or weeks. He thought of Essa, pacing, praying and worrying for them. Funny she was on his mind at all. She was on board with a quick get-in-get-out plan but she was not a patient woman. Almost like this Phaere broad. Impatient or otherwise, Phaere was quite lovely, but once again Varric had to shoot down an offer of making whoopee, only this time Imoen mocked him and said he couldn't because he was a eunuch. A eunuch!? Is that the best lie you can come up with!? He was at least fine with pretending she was his paramour, then at least he could have some dignity. These drow women had no shame; they were either parading around in see-through robes and...and even the ones in full plate armor did that 'slut' walk and oh MAKER. For some reason thinking of how pissed Essa would be if they screwed up kept him focused. She'd probably come after him with that mace cursing like a fishwife. That didn't save him from Imoen waking him up at least once with a...flagpole. He'd had a naughty dream about those obsidian-skinned nymphs all making him their bitch and...well yeah. That was awkward.
Varric made a half-serious vow that he would become celibate if they survive this.
Maker, I hate spiders, Varric thought as he entered the temple of Lolth. Phaere was rather unsurprisingly up to no good and asked the trio to bring the pilfered silver dragon eggs to her and swap them with fakes. The drow intended to offer the eggs to a demon in exchange for its service and should the demon be decieved and slay the Matron, Phaere would offer the real eggs and take lead of House Despana. The drow lived to play these elaborate games of chess from the moment they were born. They did not know kindness or love. Theirs was only cruelty and malice...all for the glory of Lolth. What a way to live. Your own goddess sits in her Demonweb Pits watching you kill each other. It was abundantly clear now why Viconia had left this place. According to Essa, Viconia was evil but she drew the line at killing babies.
The drow guards were dispatched almost too easily. With a click and a metallic groan the vault door swung open. Maker...golems. Even I know those are golems. Getting rid of the guards' bodies was simple; they were pushed into the pit over which all the buildings of Ust Natha were built. Their masters would regard them as missing, shrug it off (they were both male) and replace them. The golems on the other hand... Imoen looked sharply at Varric, and he could almost hear her whining 'now what?'. Nalia was present, however her invisibility spell would be void if she lifted a hand to take the eggs. Damn. They hadn't exactly thought this through, and Phaere never said anything about golems. Maybe she was on to them...no. She couldnt' be.
Suddenly Imoen gestured wildly to Varric to look at where the eggs were stored. The golems didn't move even as the clutch of silver dragon eggs were lifted into the air. Whoever this invisible thief was, they waved the eggs towards the door. Astonished, the trio followed. Phaere, perhaps, doing her own dirty work for a change? No, they were headed towards the city gate. Varric's breath caught in his throat when he heard someone shout, "THIEVES! Stop them! They will know endless torment for stealing from the house of the Spider Queen!"
Turned to them -her spell worn off- was a young drow female holding the egg sac to her chest. She bit her lip as she sheepishly slid the eggs into her pack. "Time to go!"
They broke into a run with half a dozen drow on their heels. "Filth! Scum! Did you think your false god would protect you!?" one of them shouted. Essa, you devil. I should have guessed by the hairstyle and your vacant expression. As if on cue, Nalia tripped and cried out. Essa screeched to a halt and turned to go back but Varric stopped her.
"I'll get Nalia, you take the eggs and get back to the cave."
Essa panted and swallowing hard started past him but he grabbed her hand. "No, damn it. You go. Now!"
She looked at her hand in his then back at him. "Be careful."
Giving her hand a squeeze, he smiled. "Always." When he saw Essa make a beeline for the gate he unholstered Bianca. To fit in with the illusion Bianca appeared to be made of adamantium, a twisted, black ugly material that dissolved in sunlight. He patted Bianca's stock affectionately. "I couldn't give my baby an ugly drow name. Come on. Let's show these bastards how crossbows work."
A drow raised its scimitar in what was meant to be a decapitating blow when Nalia rolled over and a stream of fire issued from her hands. The drow warrior screamed in agony and rage and with a kiss from Bianca he finally went down. Slim and short, the drow were almost too easy to knock about and soon Varric and Nalia stood back to back with bashes and bruises to remember looking for a clear path out of the gate.
"Looks like we're just going to have to fight our way out of here." Varric breathed as he loosed another bolt into a drow's chest. "How good are you at running and throwing those little meteors of yours at the same time?"
Nalia blasted a pair of drow with a fireball "I supposed we'll have to find out. I'm running out of magic, let's make a break for it."
Varric ran ahead, swiping Bianca in front of him, mowing down drow in their path with Bianca's bayonet or at least knocking them aside. Nalia's 'little meteors' caused small explosions all around them and it felt like his lungs were going to burst. Then the gate came into view. It was closing. Varric had never run so hard in his life, and snatching Nalia's hand pulled her in front of him shoving her out the gate then he spun around and opened fire on the drow. He looked up and saw the gate keeper trying to close the gate faster, and brought him down with a bolt before slipping through the space narrow enough for a dwarf, but enough to stall the drow until one of them could climb up and operate the gate. Nalia saw him coming and smiled and together they entered Adalon's cave.
Adalon took on a human form and teleported the party (now in their true forms) to the gate to the surface and slew the drow guarding it. More greeted them and they wished Adalon could help further but some relief came with the appearance of surface elves, sylvan elves from the look of it. The elves barked at the party to see Elhan their commander and soon they came to an opening where the glorious sun shone. As they raced amongst the fighting, the drow and sylvan elves clashing steel on steel in the kind of fury and hatred that comes with ages of animosity, for the first time in his life Varric was glad to be outside. Never before had he recalled being so glad to see the sunlight but their joy was cut short when a large group of grim looking elves forced them to halt and they were escorted to see Elhan.
Elhan had no mark of age upon him even as his expression soured further at the sight of the party as he looked out of his tent. The other elves watched them carefully as Elhan stepped out of the tent at the strangers in his camp.
"Four humans, a half-human and two dwarves escape the Underdark. Hmph. Who leads this rabble?"
Essa stepped forward. "I lead this party, elf. Now please be brief, I have wounded that need tending and enemies to punish."
"Watch your tongue here, girl. I will not simply let you walk by. Know this; I do not trust you, I do not HAVE to trust you. With a word my men will cut you down if you so much as breathe in a manner that is not to my liking, do you understand?" Elhan walked slowly towards her, hands behind his back and halted inches away from the dwarf woman, who did not even flinch. The two gave each other hard stares. "Now tell me, why were you in the Underdark?"
"Because we heard it's lovely this time of year." Varric said. "Look chief, we're not spies for the drow if that's what you're thinking."
Elhan shot him a glare. "I will decide that. My sages here will detect any falsehood in your statements. Now...YOU tell me why were you escaping the Underdark?" He pointed at Essa. She looked at Jaheira and Imoen who were acting as a pair of human crutches to Nalia and Sir Keldorn glowering from under his helm about the delay.
"I left them bloodied and beaten! I did not flee." Essa sneered.
"Truth." Said one of the sages. Essa blinked in surprise. And she would lie about this, why?
Pacing in front of them Elhan did not take his eyes off of Essa. "Any why were you there in the first place?"
"I seek the head of Irenicus! I owe him a debt of pain..."
The elves collectively gasped and began to all talk at once in their native tongue but Elhan waved them to silence. "You seek the Exile..."
"You mean Irenicus? And we seek Bodhi as well. We are no allies of the drow or that mage and his vampire sister."
"Absolute truth." Said the sage and Essa rubbed her temples with both hands.
"Their names are to be spoken as little as possible. So...you seek the Exiles...the enemy of my enemy. Classically speaking this would make you our friend. "
"Your enemy...how has Ire- I mean how have the Exiles wronged you?"
"I cannot say. It is not the concern of outsiders..."
"Outsiders or not we are part of this fight. Is there a way I can prove my good intent to you, perchance?" Essa gave an exasperated sigh.
Elhan thought a moment. "Seek the Rhynn Lanthorn. It is-"
"The Rum Lantern?"
"The RHYNN. LANTHORN. It is the key to the city. The drow desecrated the temple and invaded Suldenessallar. We must find our way back in. We do not know who could have taken it."
Without hesitation Essa said "Bodhi. Only she would have been trusted with such a task. We've tangled with her before, likely she's gone back to her old stomping grounds under Athkatla. But...she surely has gathered more vampires...it would take an army to-"
"I would have sent my own men if it were that easy." Elhan turned his back to them and walked towards a chest by a table. Opening the chest he took out several items; two beautiful golden urns and wooden stakes. "For us to march upon Athkatla -even to ask for aid- it would be looked upon as an act of war. But you...you on the other hand can seek allies. " The elf looked towards the foundation of what was once the temple, then west towards Amn.
"The knights of the Most Noble Order of The Radiant Heart would lend their blades to this cause." The look on Sir Keldorn's face brightened, even if it wasn't so obvious from behind his helm.
"The Shadow Thieves owe us one." Said Nalia. "Plus I am sure they would like to see Bodhi put down."
Taking the urns and stakes Elhan turned back to Essa. "This is water filled with vengeance for the desecration of Rillifane's temple. And the stakes will destroy the beasts utterly. Now go."
Curling her fingers around the holy items Essa bowed her head. "I will not fail. I will not..."
)(
On the way back, Essa and company had run across another party, one they would never expect; the drow ranger Drizzt Do'Urden and his companions. The girls (not Jaheira) swooned over the darkly handsome drow, and even Sir Keldorn went a little fanboy despite his apparent need for righteous homicide when it came to drow. The two companies halted. The drow paused and looked over Essa and her own crew.
"Hold, friends; we have company. Hail fellow travelers. Did you perchance see a pink hammer in this area?"
The dwarf in his party, a stereotypical type, grew indignant. "Blast ye, Drizzt! Me hammer be red, not pink!"
Essa rolled her shoulders forward, causing her plate armor and its leather fittings to groan and creak, rattling the chailmail and her various magical trinkets. "Um, no. I haven't seen it. Sorry."
A sigh escaped Drizzt's lips. "Well I thank you anyway. But...you look familiar to me..." He strolled forward and knelt in front of Essa so that he was eye level with her. "Yes, I remember you! You once aided me against some gnolls up north! Your name is...ahh..." She started to answer but he halted her "No, let me remember (it's on the tip of my tongue)...hmmm...Essa! Essa is your name!"
She nodded vigorously and Sir Keldorn marched up. "You have met this noble man and did not tell me, Essa? Why?" He laughed and Drizzt stood and faced the paladin offering a hand which Sir Keldorn shook eagerly. If Varric had rolled his eyes any harder they would have popped out of his head. Nalia and Imoen looked on starstruck and Jaheira found some interesting plant to keep her occupied. Varric almost asked her if it happened to be hemlock or some other toxic plant so that he may swallow it and not pursue this Mutual Admiration Society meeting to its final stupidity.
"Oh Drizzt, such a celebrity you are.." Said the human girl in Drizzt's party. Essa stared at Drizzt for a long time, though not in a creepy way. She was studying him for a new drawing, most likely.
"I didn't think you'd believe me!" She playfully pushed Keldorn's shoulder. "Drizzt, if you are not in any hurry I have a proposal."
A marriage proposal I bet, Varric thought sourly. Sheesh what's so great about this Drizzt guy anyway? "I guess there's an exception to everything, an opposite of every possible outcome. But if you would have asked me yesterday 'Hey Varric, did you know that some drow are good?' I would have asked you what you were on and why weren't you sharing."
Ignoring his comment Drizzt turned his attention back to Essa. "Speak on, friend Essa." Imoen squealed in delight.
"Well, in the crypts beneath Athkatla are a coven of vampires lead by a woman named Bodhi. My friends and I..." She gestured to them. "are gathering forces to destroy them. If you could aid us we would be most grateful."
"Vampire infestation..." Drizzt rubbed his chin. "We will meet you there."
Varric waved one finger in a circle. "Whoop-dee-doo."
